AN: It seems I'm off on a femslash rampage at the moment. Expect more to follow as and when. I also have a few little 'Hey Carter' ideas knocking around too so don't worry I'll be back to Jack and Sam soon too...in the meantime...enjoy the Carter-Frasier's domestic bliss.

Oh and don't ask me why I chose cookies I really don't know. We'll just have to chalk it up to it being a quirk of the Alternate Universe scenario...either that or I was hungry when I started this...one or the other ;)

SUMMARY: Established Sam/Janet FEMSLASH. Married and living near Area 51, Sam comes home early to check up on her partner who has, with good reason, been feeling slightly off-colour but it seems that Janet has recovered enough to be sitting on the couch nibbling her way through something that strictly speaking she should not even have touched. Romance/Family. T rated. AU femslash. UNEDITED

The Way The Cookie Crumbles

It was lunchtime and Sam had decided that she would head home early to check on things and make a start on the list of domestic tasks that were piling up. "Hi." she called as she clicked the front door of their new home back on the latch.

There was a slight pause before Janet looked up from her Buddha-like, cross-legged position on the couch. "Hey." she responded, swallowing whatever it was that she was chewing. She looked ever so slightly caught out.

The TV was off and Sam noticed that Janet had a book that was not her own and really rather trashy spread open across her lap, which probably accounted for the rabbit in the headlights sort of look. Then something else caught her eye, something even more plausible, she sighed. "Janet. Were you planning to get dressed at all today?"

Janet glanced down at herself, brushing a few errant cookie crumbs off the front of the pjs she was wearing. "Nope." she drawled and gave the love of her life a rather sloppy grin. "Day off remember? That means nothing but pjs that smell great and bad food...good food actually." She grimaced slightly, wishing she had somewhere to hide the evidence but she did not and so she decided to meet the issue head on. "Re-eally good food in fact."

Sam shook her head and slowly made her way across the room noting the empty cup and the empty glass, who knew her wife could be such a slob? "Right." she muttered thinking about how Janet had promised she would put up the new shelving in the back room almost two months ago. She had insisted that she would do it and that it would be done before she got to the stage where she could no longer manage on her own. That day had come and gone and Sam was secretly relieved that Janet had not tried to tackle the task alone.

It seemed, however, that her worry had been unfounded as clearly the tiny off-duty doctor had no intention of trying to do anything today. It was frustrating to see her normally active partner so sedentary but Sam understood her fatigue and decided she would not nag her about her lack of exercise and the difficulties that that could bring. The nagging could wait till later, she had only just arrived home and right now Janet was looking so beautiful that she simply needed to give her a...she stopped short as she rounded the corner of the couch. "Are those?" she questioned looking at the distinctive colouring on the wrapping paper Janet had tried to hide under the book. "They are! Janet! I can't believe you are eating my birthday present!"

Janet's head dipped somewhat apologetically. "Well, it's not like I could help myself. It's been almost three weeks Sam and besides you were not supposed to be here to catch me in the act. I had planned to go out and replaced them before you got home."

"And re-wrapped them in the shiny blue paper I suppose?"

Janet nodded guiltily.

Sam scowled down at the tiny auburn haired doctor, she was not angry with her, she could never be angry with her, not at the moment, not when she was having such a difficult time with the latent sickness and the swelling. It would not hurt to pretend though she decided and so she continued to scowl. "I was saving them." she admonished. "I told you that. They are too special to just eat. You know the rules, those cookies are to be saved exclusively special occasions and for downtime."

"And this is downtime." Janet immediately retorted, jumping quite freely on the handy excuse that Sam had given her. She was not even slightly fooled by Sam's pretend-to-be-angry-act. Her eyes were sparkling too much. Janet decided she wanted to play too so she did. Delicately and somewhat cheekily she nibbled on the edge of yet another of Sam's specially selected designer cookies that were, as Sam had often said, ridiculously expensive and hard to justify outside of special occasions. Janet completely disagreed on the grounds that they were oh so indulgently tasty. The crunch and the taste sparked a sense memory within Janet, she let it run.

She remembered the first time Sam had ever given her one and how it had brought them closer together in the only way that mattered. They had been out on what turned out to be a date, not that they had called it that but somehow dinner and a long moonlit walk had lead to holding hands and to an awkward but expectant silence on Sam's front porch. "I'm sorry we didn't stop on at the restaurant for dessert now, I could really go for something sweet round about now." Janet had voiced in the hope that Sam might invite her in for coffee.

Sam had just smiled and broken their hand to hand contact. "Wait here." she had said and disappeared into the house leaving Janet feeling slightly bemused. "Ta-da!" she declared upon return and held up the chocolate speckled treat.

"A cookie? Are you serious?" Janet had guffawed wondering if Sam even knew what having a moment even meant.

"Ah, but not just any cookie. This is the best cookie in the world, I promise." Sam had responded, grinning widely, her eyes sparkling under the porch light. "Take it, it's my last one. You won't regret it, I swear."

Janet had accepted the gift and tried it there and then. From the very first instance of taste she had practically melted inside. "Oh, my, god!"

"I know, right?"

She had closed her eyes and nibbled on, perhaps a little greedily until she realised that there was nothing of it left. "Oh." she squeaked, her face flushing red. "I um, I suppose I should have offered you some." She instantly felt too guilty to apologise but it seemed that Sam had not minded in the least.

"It's alright Jan, I'm kind of glad you did because I do want a taste and there's only one way of getting that now."

Janet had looked up at that point and before she knew what was happening Sam Carter had pulled her close and was kissing her. "That tastes good." she said. "You ah, you wanna come inside and share some more?" Naturally she did and that led to a lot more sharing and to the tasting of more than one kind of cookie that night.

The specially imported cookies from Belgium became highly symbolic after that and so the exchange became first more frequent and then less over the intervening years. Neither of them wanted the gift to lose is uniqueness and its romantic quality and so now they were reserved for the rare occasions when they shared their downtime, birthdays, Christmases, other special occasions and always, always Valentine's Day. It was also an unspoken expectation that they would be sought out and purchased over the counter and not lazily bought through the internet.

That was why this time the gift had been harder for Janet to find. It seemed designer cookies were not so popular in Nevada, but eventually she found a store that sold them right on their own doorstep. She had purchased them in the little boutique delicatessens on the corner. Sam did not know that they had been bought so close to home, or that if Janet had made it out of the house and back before she arrived home that would have been the third time the gift had been replaced in the last two weeks. It seemed she was not the only one who really liked the taste and as a result she was having some seriously expensive cravings.

Sam sighed and a hand rode out onto her hip. "Our downtime, not just yours." she stated as she eyed the near empty box. Moving forward she reached out to grab one of the remaining two cookies in the box.

"Uh-uh." Janet blurted and smacked her hand away. She shook her head and grinned lopsidedly. "You aren't on downtime, you can't have any."

Refusing to rise to the childish banter Sam huffed out an unbelieving breath and once again reached for the box. This time it was pulled possessively out of reach. "Janet!"

"No Sam! Downtime and special occasion cookies. Your rules, remember?"

"Yeah but..." Sam started but didn't get any further as the second to last cookie was greedily shoved, almost whole into her partner's mouth. "They're mine!" she wailed, actually starting to feel her frustration levels rising for real. She had really been looking forward to savouring what was supposed to be their shared treat.

"Yeah and we are married now so what is your is mine, etc, etc. Besides it's not like I'm the only one that needs them at the moment. It's good to share Sam." They both smiled at that and Sam found herself blushing slightly at the memory. "You can have the box if you want?" Janet offered, holding the now empty container up with a magnanimous look.

Sam huffed out a short sharp breath. "I don't want...why would I want the box? That is the worst attempt at handing off your trash that I have ever heard you make."

Janet shrugged. "Could be crumbs in there." she answered innocently, still proffering the box that Sam refused to take.

"Oh whatever." Sam grumbled and made her way back round the couch until she was directly behind Janet. She was still not mad at her, not now that she had conformation that the cookie theft had been part of one of Janet's craving fits, which were many, varied and quite often highly unusual. Casually she placed her hands on the smaller woman's shoulders. They were tense and so she started to massage them slightly.

"Mmm, that's nice, maybe you can do my feet later?" Janet cooed before she twisted slightly to look up into her blonde's beautiful face. "You never answered me earlier, so I'll ask you again. What are you doing home in the middle of the day?"

"Truthfully? I came home early because I wanted to check up on you. Even though you try to hide it, I know you've not been feeling too hot lately. I heard you up a few times early this morning." Sam stopped massaging Janet's shoulders and slid her hands down to cross them at the front as she leaned in to kiss Janet affectionately behind the ear. "But I see you are fine now. Maybe I should just go back to work?" she suggested in a tone that spoke of never returning to Area 51 ever again.

"No, don't do that Samantha. Not yet anyhow. I love having you here. I've missed you all day." Janet purred, leaning her temple against Sam's cheek, her heart fluttering. "I always miss you on my day off."

"Is that why you ate my cookies?" Sam enquired gently, kissing the edge of Janet's brow and running a caressing thumb across the raised peak of her right breast. Underneath her she felt the smaller woman tremble at her touch.

"Mm, maybe?"

"And is that why there is only half of one left?" She eyed the one remain fraction of chocolate and nougat that Janet held pinched between her fingers. "Can I have it?" she asked in her lowest, most sultry tone.

With all of her heart Janet intended to offer up her prize but Sam never gave her the chance. Strong and dexterous fingers, fingers that could work both gently and frenzied magic locked around the pulse point of her wrist and her hand was pulled upwards. Before she could even register what was happening Janet felt Sam's teeth grazing her fingernails and the cookie was gone. "Sa-am!" she cried out, upset more over the loss of the gesture than the loss of the cookie. "I would have given it to you." she whispered, her voice catching slightly.

"Aww, don't get upset. I am ninety percent sure you would have but I just couldn't take that chance these are just too good!" Sam mmmmed as she rolled the flavours around in her mouth. "You are definitely replacing this present and soon Sweetie." She straightened her back and hummed in a pleasure that came second only to one other and that was Janet herself.

There was silence for a few seconds as Sam savoured her treat, then deciding she was done she decisively changed tack. "Now." she stated, removing herself further from the couch. "Get up off there and go and get changed. I have the rest of the day off and the weekend too so we have got lots of work to do."

Much to Janet's annoyance Sam was suddenly all bounce and cheer and that level of energy only meant one thing. "Ohh." she complained, she hated the fact that Sam like to fill her downtime with a million and one exhausting chores. All she wanted to do, especially these days, was sit around in her fluffy slippers and enjoy Sam's books, Sam's music, Sam's dvds, Sam's arms around her, Sam's...cookies. "Wait, I thought you had a lecture to give this weekend back at the SGC about the new flight control panel." she said as she shifted towards the end of the sofa, manoeuvring herself so as to rise.

Sam shook her head as she collected the empty cup and glass and made her way into the kitchen. She sighed as she noted that the breakfast dishes were still stacked messily in the sink. Immediately she made her way over and started to rearrange them. "Nope, cancelled. SG-1 managed to bring back another illness through the 'gate, Daniel reacted badly, they shut down the Mountain."

"Is he okay?"

Samantha felt a glow of warmth flow over her as she heard the doctorly concern in Janet's voice. "He's fine, shot him full of the Broca-histamine you created, good as new." Sam stopped and watched Janet more or less waddle into the kitchen and smiled proudly at her. "You see, you don't even work there anymore and still you are saving the day."

"Oh please!" Janet dismissed. "You saved the day way more times than I ever could Colonel. So when are you leaving then?"

"The SGC have to adhere to the ten day lock-down protocol. I'm scheduled to leave next week instead, only for the night though, not the whole weekend."

"That's good because I don't want you gone for that long."

"You can come with if you like?"

"No thanks Sweetheart, I really don't feel up to flying at the moment." Janet made her way over to the sink to stand behind Sam. Once there she reached out one hand to support herself on the unit and with the other stretched around and plucked the dishcloth out of Sam's hands, she kissed her on the back of the neck eliciting a soft moan from the taller blonde's lips. "Leave those. I said I would do them."

"Yeah and they are still here." Sam protested even as Janet shut off the tepid water.

"Yeah and they will still be here later. Right now I want you to kiss me Sam. I'm feeling ve-ery...affectionate towards you at the moment."

Sam obliged her lover, turned in the circle of her arms and bent her head down to meet the eager mouth that was begging to be kissed. Janet deepened the embrace quickly and it was all Sam could do to pull herself away. "Wow! And by affectionate you mean super horny, is that it?"

Janet shrugged. "Yeah, maybe." and Sam chuckled.

"Well, Sweeite, it's just going to have to wait. I have some paint charts in the car and there is a new stroller in the shop window that I want you to take a look at. Go get dressed would you? Exercise is good for you and for the baby." She ran her hands across her wife's expanding womb intently trying to detect the signs of strong kicking that they had both recently become so much more excited about. Things were really moving along now, in just a few short months it would be time and that was why Sam was so determined that everything that needed to be done would be done sooner rather than later. Janet wasn't the youngest Mom in the soon to be club and Sam was worried that she might go into labour early, not that she would ever say anything of course, Janet was the doctor, not her.

"Oh, but Sa-am. You know me." Janet protested, moving slightly away from her lover's touch. "I like to veg on my day off. I'm only taking one these days to save up some extra time off and my week is really tough going as it is. I really don't need you exhausting me by traipsing me all over town too."

Sam cocked an eyebrow and all but snorted. "And like what you had planned was not going to be anything short of exhausting?"

Janet blushed shyly as she conceded the point. "Yeah but that's different. It's a satisfying kind of exhausting. Are you...sure you wouldn't rather just go upstairs, my wife, my desire, the love of my life...hmm?" she wheedled seductively, reaching her fingers up to undo the buttons on Sam's blouse one at a time until Sam's hand came up to stop her.

"Later Sweetheart." Sam whispered, her legs barely hold up her own weight as she resisted the alluring temptation of bedding down her pregnant wife. God the woman was sexy these days. She was always sexy but these days with the bloom of carrying their child she was just...wow. She had even managed to be the cause of Sam leaving work on time every day. Except for when Janet was on nightshift and then she stayed late to free up her mornings.

Janet exuded a soft and heart-felt sigh and Sam, despite her resolve, could not help herself, she reached out and gathered the woman up into an embrace so full of longing that it led to a deep and fiery kiss. Her tongue extending out to explore the warm reaches of the Janet's mouth. "Damn!" she declared, licking her lips, the experience suddenly ten times magnified. "You still taste of cookies. Why did you have to go and eat them all Janet? If you hadn't we would definitely be upstairs by now."

"Aww man." Janet moaned. By Sam's determined tone she now knew that she was never going to win out in her bid to stay at home. "If I'd known that you were going to be off from today I would have waited."

Sam let out a wistful sigh and attempted to distance herself from the pooling desire low in her belly. The reward for her patience later would be so much more worthwhile if she waited. "Oh well. Too bad. You're just going to have to come shopping for baby stuff with me instead." Sam's arms crept back around Janet's waist and she gave her a peck on the lips. "Then later we are going to put up those shelves together because let's face it you are never going to manage on your own and after that we are ordering in, that Italian place you like." Janet went to speak but Sam kissed her again to silence her, she was not finished. "And then you are going to catch up on your half of the chore list, you lazy mare and finally after all that and only after all that I am going to take you upstairs with a bucket of ice-cream and we won't be coming back down again until late tomorrow afternoon. How does that sound?"

Janet nodded her head and she re-ran Sam checklist through her mind. "Apart from the fact that I will be completely exhausted and probably fall asleep straight away when we do finally get to bed that actually sounds like a really good plan!" She would never admit it but it would be really great to finally get that list of stuff completed so that she didn't fret over it anymore and as for her own chores she knew that Sam would probably end up doing them for her, as she always did.

"Well don't sound so surprised!" Sam chortled.

"I'm not." Janet laughed. "I just love that you covered everything that you want to do in such a way as to also include everything that I want to do, especially the ice-cream part. You are so thoughtful Sam, do you know that? Thoughtful and beautiful. I love you."

"Aww." Sam blushed. "That's really kind of you Sweetheart and I love you too. You are amazing and very, very attractive. Especially in the pj's that I took off this morning. Now go, before I change my mind."

She smacked Janet on the ass as she pushed her away and glowered when the woman shrieked in surprise. Boy was she in for a hell of a night. There had not been ice-cream planned with the take-out order but now there would be, a lot of ice-cream. It was just a damned shame that there were no longer any cookies to go with it, though that could probably be easily rectified. That thought made Sam smile. She had suspected that Janet had been tucking into her birthday stash and now that she had been caught red-handed Janet would feel compelled to spend the best part of the next two weeks trying to make up for her indiscretion and Sam planned to make sure she enjoyed every single waking moment of it. After all, that was just the way the cookie crumbled.

END

AN: So, please tell me what you think. Took me a good while longer than usual to write this one so I really hope you enjoyed it. Oh and I apologies for the highly cheesy 'other cookie' reference. I just could not resist it. Sad I know but hey...later good peoples of the world.