The Loyal Coward

By: RavenHeart101

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: "Magnus, please. Professor Bane sounds way too formal and naughty coming from those lips." It's a large castle, a school really, one that has gone down many a times in history. But it's the same story. Only… a little different this time around.

Or the one in which Alec is a Hufflepuff, Magnus is the new Charms professor, and demons are coming to Hogwarts.

A:N – Originally on tumblr. Never finished on there, though. Maybe you can lend me some inspiration in pulling it altogether.

I.

The school was large and a bit overwhelming, if he were being honest. Dozens of thousands of metal armor clad soldiers guarding the walls and moving staircases. It was all a bit… out there.

But it was home.

Alec had been going to school at Hogwarts for quite some time now, and he took pride in his placement in the Hufflepuff gold, even if Jace teased him endlessly about it. The first Lightwood to be sorted into anything other than Gryffindor or Slytherin. Alec had rolled his eyes back then and tried to ignore the rising panic that something was definitely wrong in him. Jace had apologized, a year ago, when Isabelle told him what his words had done to Alec. Alec had told him not to worry about it, that it was no big deal, that he was a child and over sensitive. Alec didn't tell him that it still stung a little to have both his siblings think that he was somehow beneath them because he wasn't stupidly brave like Jace or sly and cunning like Isabelle. Alec honored honesty and loyalty and he never said a thing to either of them, choosing, instead, to keep his mouth shut and favor of smiling at their jokes and quietly making sure that they stayed out of trouble.

"Good morning." Clary was a nice girl, two years under him and a Ravenclaw who's smarts sometimes rivaled that of Hermione Granger. Or so the rumors were, anyway. Alec had yet to see any evidence to prove the rumors that he was pretty sure Jace had started when he first noticed the redhead.

It was ridiculous, the circle they were running around each other. Absolutely ridiculous and Alec held back on telling them as such because Isabelle threated to tell their parents about his escapades out to the muggle town that summer if he spoiled her fun.

"Morning." Alec responded softly and looked back down at the newspaper in front of him. The pictures moved as they always did and the words sometimes even took to floating in front of his eyes. Written by Luna Lovegood, Alec wasn't entirely sure what the article was even about. He wouldn't dare ask anyone for clarification, though, God forbid he manage to offend one of the man Second War Worshippers.

"Hello." Simon slid into the seat across from him easily, stealing a piece of toast from his plate and turning around to talk to Clary. Simon was completely smitten with the girl and it was quite adorable, really, if Simon wasn't already dating Isabelle. Or doing something with Isabelle. Alec wasn't sure on that either and Isabelle had simply rolled her eyes when he asked her and told him to grow up and get with the times. Honestly, did she think he didn't know that they were having sex? He just wanted to know if he had to start giving Simon the "you hurt my sister you die" speech.

He nodded at Simon and didn't bother saying anything back.

Not many people talked to him but the Hufflepuffs understood his need for solidarity. Not that Alec enjoyed being alone, but he was more of the strong and silent type. He took pride in his house and would speak up if any one of them were to wander into trouble, but Alec wouldn't do much else. He was an excellent prefect, though, and it was because of his rather scary skills at catching other students disobeying obscure Hogwarts rules that the Hufflepuffs had managed to scrounge up enough points to win the House Cup ever since he was given the title. Rumor had it, actually, that the Headmistress was thinking of appointing him Head Boy before she decided on getting rid of the job all together in favor of appointing one from each house to the so called "Unity Squad". Alec was just as tired as the rest of them of the teachers trying to press for unity between the houses. Let there be fights and feuds, it would only prepare everyone for the real world rather than give them false hopes that everything would be people working together in perfect unity like some damn machine.

But being a Hufflepuff Alec couldn't say that. It would be too Slytherin for anyone to take him seriously. So he kept his mouth shut and his head down and most of his opinions to himself.

There was a new teacher this year, taking over for the Charms class since Flitwick had finally decided on retiring. Where the Headmistress had found this one was a wonder, but he certainly seemed qualified for the job. He was on a probationary period, according to anyone that mattered, and if it didn't work out he would be perfectly fine not having a job. Alec had watched him with great vested interest when the man had waltzed into the Great Hall that morning and his eyes kept being drawn towards him even though he knew they shouldn't be.

Alec tried, with all of his will power and strength, to ignore the curious cat-like eyes and the sparkles on the rope and the bright red spikes. He told himself that whatever was pulling him to look in that direction was insane and an impulse that was not important and, therefore, should not be indulged upon.

He missed the small smirk, though, when the Professor caught his gaze.

And he tried to miss the mouthed out "hello" and the wink but he didn't look away in time.

He hid his face in shame in his copy of the Daily Prophet and nearly died on his eggs when Isabelle slid into the seat next to his, asking him rather loudly why he looked like someone just asked him if they could suck him off. He shoved her away and told her to go sit with her own house but Isabelle just laughed and tried to steal Simon's attention with her foot under the table.

His face burned like the sun and Alec suddenly wasn't feeling very hungry anymore.

Alec may have felt a shift in the air like magic crackling but he said nothing. It wasn't his place and if Alec were to tell people that sometimes it was as though he could literally see the magic floating through the air and hovering over certain objects or places or people they would think he was more strange than they already knew he was. The only person who knew about that was Jace and Jace wasn't about to say a thing to anyone. He had promised, after all, and Alec trusted Jace with just about everything.

Just about.

Because there was no way in hell that Alec would ever be telling Jace about the way that Professor Bane ("Magnus, please. Professor Bane sounds way too formal and naughty coming from those lips.") could make him blush like never before and make his pulse skyrocket and make the magic in the air crackle red and gold and silver like it was attracted to him.

Never would Alec say that to anyone.

II.

Charms was Alec's favorite class, and not because of the professor. It was his favorite class before Professor Bane and if Alec wasn't in his last year at Hogwarts it would have been his favorite class once Professor Bane was gone. Which would probably be by the end of the year. Professor Bane had told his small honors class (full of all of five students) that he was not one for permanent jobs, being more of a fan of less work for more pay, traveling around the world and taking jobs where he could. But he had owed someone long dead a favor (his own words, not Alec's), and so he was teaching at Hogwarts for a year until they could find an appropriate and acceptable replacement.

"Are you understanding any of this?" Jace leaned over and whispered with a bored tilt to his eyes. Alec rolled his own – blue as the sky that day – and ignored his brother, his pencil scratching at the paper as Professor Hodge droned on and on. Hodge had been there since they had started – for years and years before then as well. He was a good enough teacher for Transfigurations and was well liked by most of the students. Even Jace liked him – respected him even – he was just simply Jace and the basics of respect and showing it were something that he didn't know. Alec tried to understand, sincerely since he knew his background, but sometimes when Jace spoke like this Alec wanted nothing more than to correct him and force him to apologize.

Jace was terrible with Professor Bane, too. Not that Professor Bane didn't bait him, because he did with a sly smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes. It was terribly painful to watch the two of them in class together.

Instead of answering Jace's question, Alec let his silence answer for him that yes he did understand the lesson and so would Jace if he would simply pay attention. "Inherently, changing oneself back and forth from one animal to another," Hodge was saying sitting back against his table, his injured leg resting out in front of him. "Is incredibly difficult and completely insufferable."

"People younger than us have done it." Jace hissed and Alec lightly tapped his knuckles when Professor Hodge shot them a look. Rose Weasley was smirking almost proudly from the front row and Alec squeezed his pencil tighter. He didn't like the whole lot of them – the children of the war heroes. They always thought they were all high and mighty because of things that their parents did. James Potter was the worst, not that Rose was much better. At least James was out of Hogwarts by now. Off doing some Auror work or something.

But Rose was in Ravenclaw and her attitude was darkly negative towards Alec and his siblings. In response to Clary's growing friendship with them Rose had taken to teasing her endlessly in the Ravenclaw common room, her friends even picking on her as well. Alec remembered the younger girl crying into Jace's shirt when Rose had said something cruel about her mother and step-father, Luke Garroway who owned the bookstore in Hogsmeade.

Alec may or may not have found his first obscure Hogwarts rule that Rose broke and took away fifty points because of it. The entirety of Ravenclaw house had ignored her for a week after that. Rose made it her life mission (along with her siblings, no matter what their parents condoned or didn't, though Alec had met Mister Weasley once and the man hadn't done anything other than smirk when he heard about what his daughter and son were doing) to make the lives of the children of Death Eaters or any off shoot group miserable. The Lightwoods were part of the latter, following under Valentine and the Circle who had more radical ideas than Voldemort ever did. His parents had learned their lesson and Alec had only been a baby when it had happened. Isabelle not even born and Jace not even part of the family.

Maybe it was the way the staff casually ignored the actions of the other students that made Alec hate most of the teachers. But Professor Hodge never put up with it and Professor Bane had sent her from the classroom with tears streaming down her face when she had shown disrespect the class before. And Professor Longbottom always gave her this look as though he were disappointed in her. Sometimes Alec wondered what her mother would do if she knew the severity of her daughter's actions.

Rose wasn't a tyrant, not really. Just like an annoying little bug who had all of her mother's cleverness and none of her tact. A healthy dose of Granger and Weasley. Alec much preferred Scorpius Malfoy to the lot of them. Perhaps it was because Scorpius was part of his own house, or maybe it was because Scorpius actually treated other people like human beings. But why Rose and the Potters could make an exception for him and not for the rest of them was beyond Alec's comprehension.

"Where to next?" Jace asked and bumped his shoulder, his bag slung across his body and his wand peeking out of his robes. Jace was more of a Defense Against the Dark Arts students, Isabelle more of a Potions one, and Alec… was whatever. He had class with Simon next, though, so Alec hitched his bag higher over his shoulder, waved goodbye to Professor Hodge, and followed Jace from the classroom at an even pace.

"I have Charms." He said as casually as he could, even though his heart picked up in excitement and a little smile crossed over his face.

Jace gave him a look but Alec shrugged it off. He liked the class is all. Liked the teacher and the subject matter. Liked the teacher a lot.

He almost blushed at his own thoughts and, instead, looked down to study the floor under his feet. What was it he had said before? Yes, don't tell Jace about Professor Bane. Don't tell anyone, for that matter. You're Alexander Gideon Lightwood and no one should know just how giddy your Charms professor makes you feel.

"Watch where you're going, honeybadger." Rose Weasley bumped into his shoulder and if Alec didn't have a firm grip on his things they would have gone flying. He cursed her in his mind and glared daggers at her in person.

Unfortunately, he had this class with her as well.

"Rose." Scorpius Malfoy sighed a long suffering sigh and sent Alec a look of apology, which Alec shrugged off with a small smile.

"Come now, ginger, I know it's genetic that people with your color of hair don't have souls but can you at least wait until the man's put down his books." Jace snapped with a slow drawl. Alec noticed the aggravation, though, even if Rose did not.

"Jace." Alec gave Jace his own look and stopped in front of the doorway. "I'll see you at lunch."

Jace didn't ask him if he would be okay. He didn't say anything, really, just nodded and gave Rose an almost warning look with a smoldering smile and walked away with a spring to his step. Inter house unity wasn't the problem, Alec wanted to tell the professors, it was the separation between students that had families that were once light and families that were once dark. It was both of them treating those still in the gray like mere specks of dirt on the ground. They were the problem. Not the houses.

"Afternoon, Alexander." Professor Bane was sitting on his table, his hair splattered on top of his head and his smile almost predatory but oh so beautiful and wonderful.

Alec didn't blush.

"Good afternoon, Professor." He dropped his things onto his own table, right next to Simon's, and pulled out the chair.

Professor Bane smirked at the term and Alec could have sworn he saw him mouth 'naughty' before turning away, waving his hand for his piece of chalk to start scribbling away at the blackboard. "Would you mind seeing me after class, Alec? To go over the corrections on your exam?"

A cold sweat almost broke out across his brow and he looked up with a question in his gaze. His exam? He had thought he had done rather well, actually. Had thought he had done the best in the class. Unless his confidence had been a sign that he was doing poorly, which was always possible.

He swallowed and nodded without a word. Simon raised an eyebrow and pushed his glasses up his nose and Alec shrugged.

Surely it couldn't have been that bad.

III.

Alec wouldn't say that him and Simon were friends. Simon was dating his sister (because he had no idea how else to put what the two of them were) and a nice enough guy. Alec liked Simon's sense of humor and Simon recognized that Alec needed alone time and didn't talk much. Sometimes, actually, it seemed that Simon would rather talk at Alec than have Alec respond back in kind. It wasn't that Alec didn't like people, or that he was antisocial. It was just that he didn't have a lot to say.

It was never a problem before.

But hearing Rose Weasley and her cronies say things that were completely wrong about Isabelle and Simon was grating on his nerves.

They were doing group work, practicing the new charm Professor Bane had given them, and Simon and Alec were working together. Alec softly corrected Simon's form and showed him the correct way to move the wand – away from your body and then unfurl the wrist as you say the incantation. A lot of Charms work was in the wand movement instead of necessarily being part of the words. The words were important, yes, but not the most important thing.

One could do magic, theoretically, without words or a wand, as it was. But words held power. With the correct word Alec could kill someone, or he could save them. It was almost scary the fact that the wooden thing between his fingers that weighed so little could do so much.

"They fool around in the potions classrooms, I've heard." One of the girls said with an obnoxious giggle. Professor Bane raised his head at the sound but seemed to deem it unworthy or anything more than teenagers being teenagers, turning back to whatever it was he was scribbling on a piece of parchment. His forehead was creased in thought and his eyes looked more yellow today than their usual golden. People had words for what his eyes meant, too, but Alec ignored them as best he could.

Warlock, some kid had spit out with a little bit of food flying from his mouth at dinner time. Monster, another one had said. Powerful, said another.

Beautiful. Some of the girls murmured that with laughs. Hot. Steamy. A hunk. A stud. Whatever.

They were all the same. Reducing everyone down to petty objects and single words as though they described every little thing. You couldn't describe someone in one word. The wealth of a dictionary couldn't describe people either.

People used words like slut, strong, sly, crazy, impossible, rude, beautiful, hot, sexy, and various other things to describe his siblings. To describe him. As though they were only those words. As though they were those words at all. Isabelle… Isabelle was so much more than what they said she was. Isabelle was a mug of hot chocolate in the middle of summer and ice cream in the snow. Isabelle was late night star gazing and a warm press of body with cold hands. Jace was a sly smirk in the candle light. He was a tree struggling to grow in the desert, a book in the shade and the gravel on a rough day that moves under your feet to keep you steady. Simon was a book in a big comfy chair and a trip to the cinema when you're supposed to be sleeping. Clary was a bed and a pillow and the entire wealth of the Louvre at your fingertips.

Professor Bane was… he was a blossoming flower and the sunset and rise. He was the blanket you've had since birth and the dog that lays at your feet every night. He was magnificent and powerful and soft smiles and mischievous eyes. He wasn't a monster or sinister. He was the wealth of the dictionary and more.

Timeless.

"They don't clean up after themselves either." The group guffawed and Simon looked up sharply, his cheeks an unhealthy shade of red. Alec set his jaw and gripped his wand tighter.

The magic in the air flashed from blue to black and Professor Bane sat up in his chair so fast that Alec was sure he would have fallen if he didn't possess any form of grace in his body, let alone the amount that he had that nearly made him resemble a cat. He stood up, his hand firmly on the table in front of him and stared out at the classroom. No one fell silent – it was as though no one but Alec had noticed the tension escalating. "She's such a whore." One of the other girls said and it Rose Weasley looked uncomfortable Alec didn't care. She could tell them to shut up. She could tell them any number of things. Alec remembered, acutely, when her and Isabelle used to be friends, actually. Remembered Rose sitting with them at lunch and the stone labeled family problems coming between the two of them.

Oppugno, Alec thought to himself and his hand moved slightly away from his body. The magic flickered through the room, dark green and almost the color of ink. The papers around the group of girls flew into the air, flying around them as they squealed and screamed, picking up the air like a cyclone.

He glared at them with all his might and shook his head, turning from them and pointing his wand twitched once more at this side.

The papers fell to the ground and a group of students rushed to the girls, asking in voices full of panic and worry if they were all right. Professor Bane, however, was looking at him, and Alec met his eyes head on. He didn't say anything, but his gaze was enough. He knew it was Alec, even if Alec wasn't entirely sure if it was him.

IV.

Professor Bane dismissed the class early and Rose Weasley and her posse limped out with a few paper cuts that they were no doubt going to walk down to the Hospital Wing and complain about. Simon looked down and shuffled through his papers, stuffing them into his bag and hugging his notebook to his chest like a shield. Simon didn't deserve things like that to be said about him or his girlfriend. He was a nice guy and he hadn't done anything to any of them to get that sort treatment.

Righteous anger, perhaps, flooded through him and Alec shoved his things into his bag with a little too much force than was necessary but said nothing. Simon nodded his goodbye and left the room with haste.

"A word, Alec." Professor Bane stopped him before he could leave the room. "About the exam." He reminded with a twinkle in his gaze and Alec, wordlessly, nodded.

Yes, how could he have forgotten about the exam. His stomach twisted uncomfortably. Alec had never failed an exam in his life before. Jace would shrug it off and clap him on the shoulder and tell him to do better next time, but Jace never had to really try in his classes to pass. Not like Alec. Isabelle would frown and tell him not to tell their parents and work harder the next time.

Clary would offer to help and Simon would give him sympathy because the only reason he had passed half his classes in fifth year was because he had Clary's help.

"Of course." Alec murmured and turned back to Professor Bane's desk, walking to stand in front of it and gripping the strap of his bag tighter.

"You did magnificent, first of all." Professor Bane smirked at the way Alec's shoulder's dropped and the lessening of his grip on the strap. He sat back against the desk and crossed his arms against his chest. "First hundred I've given. In fact, if I could get away with it, I'd have given it higher."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." Professor Bane rolled his eyes and a real smile pulled at his lips. A real smile. It was stunning and Alec's heart did a funny little dance at the sight of it. "But I have no other motivation for the grade other than that amazing shade of pink on your cheeks."

He looked down and scratched at his neck, a huff and heat rising to his face. "Professor-"

"Magnus. I've told you this before."

"Magnus." He tried the name out and liked the way they twisted on his lips.

"A few reasons you're here, actually." Professor Bane spoke easily and with confidence. "One, I wanted to see that blush. Two, you're too quiet in class and have so much to say. Three, I needed to apologize for not intervening on what Miss Weasley and her friends were saying. And four, I wanted to ask you why you've told your head of house that you want to be a Cursebreaker for the Ministry when that's obviously not what you want to do."

He's stunned into silence and almost drops his bag in shock. Instead, Alec raises his eyes to the wall behind Professor Bane and studies it with all his might, stuffing his lips into a line and biting on them softly. "What Rose was saying wasn't your fault." That was the easiest one to address. The only one that didn't make his heart beat so fast it was about to pound from his chest.

The rest… no, Alec wasn't going to focus on the rest. Not until he had time to himself where he could curl up on his bed with Church and whisper the secrets into his fur.

"I'm the teacher." Professor Bane shook his head. "I should have stopped her."

Alec shrugged because it was true. He should have stopped her, but he didn't and it was in the past. And it wasn't as though Rose would have listened. Isabelle would have cursed her right back if she was there.

"Now, to my other question. Why be a cursebreaker?"

"Because I want to be a cursebreaker." It was easier that way. Alec didn't want to be anything else – he couldn't be anything else. Isabelle was going to be a Potions Master and Jace was going to work for the Department of Mysteries. Alec was going to be a cursebreaker. There was nothing more to it.

"I've seen you work." Professor Bane shook his head. "I've seen your passion for this. For charms and curses. You don't have the same sort of passion for breaking curses that you for dishing them out."

He flushed. "You don't know that."

"I don't mean to offend you."

"My father's a cursebreaker."

"But I don't want you to be stuck in a job you don't care for." Professor Bane shrugged.

"Not all of us can take odd jobs here and there and not have a steady income."

"Why not?"

"Because that's… that's absurd."

"You're flustered and it's adorable."

Alec stopped and his face burned. Professor Bane laughed a bit and waved him off. "If you want to talk, I'm here." He handed him a paper and Alec took it with a trembling hand. He clenched it between his sweaty fingers and told himself to breathe.

He walked across the room and tried not to feel Professor Bane's eyes on his back to no prevail. "Oh, Alexander?" He turned once more, glancing over his shoulder. "Would you join me after dinner tonight? I should punish you after all for cursing another student. Even if the other student never saw it." He said it with a wink and the sick excitement that swirled in his stomach returned. He nodded with a hard swallow and a flush to his cheeks before he walked out the door.

It shut with a click behind him and Alec took a moment to lean against the wall next to it and breathe. He felt as though he had just run a mile, even though he had barely walked ten feet. He took a deep breath and pushed away.

He had a homework date with Isabelle and Max in the library. He scratched at his nose and walked away, even if it felt as though he were walking closer than ever before.

V.

Alec had never thought about what he wanted to be after Hogwarts. He knew what he had to be – he had to be a cursebreaker and he had to get a good job and make good money and have a family, it was what was expected. But what he wanted. Alec wasn't sure if anyone had ever… directly asked him such thing.

No, that wasn't true. His mother asked him what he wanted for dinner or what color he wanted to paint his walls. His father asked him what he wanted for his birthday or what kind of training he wanted to do. But no one had ever asked him what he wanted to do with his life. It was unusual, Alec knew, to never be asked such a question. He knew Simon had been asked it since he was in diapers and Clary had always known that she wanted to be an artist of some sort and her mother had always supported her in such beliefs.

But Alec had never known what he wanted be. Hell, sometimes Alec even had trouble knowing who he wanted to be. He tapped his pencil against his notebook and told himself to focus on his potions assignment but Alec found, not for the first time, that he simply didn't care. He didn't care so much that he couldn't just roll it off his shoulders and push through. He didn't care about potions. He didn't care about arithmacy. He didn't care about Defense Against the Dark Arts.

What did he care about then?

He cared about his family. He cared about little Max who's legs hug off the end of chair he sat on and who's hair was a mess on top of his head. He cared about Isabelle who wore her skirt too short and her shirt too low cut but was letting him doodle aimlessly in the corner of his page. "You can go if you're bored." Isabelle said as she scrawled messily into her own paper.

"I have detention tonight." He answered instead.

Sharply, Isabelle's foot banged against his chair and she sat up straight, her hair falling in waves against her shoulders and her eyes fixed on him. It was the most attention Alec had ever gotten for an off hand comment. "I'm sorry I must not have heard you right. Did you say that you have detention?"

Alec didn't look up at her, though, only focused on shading the cartoon vine going through his numbers and words. "Yes." He hummed. "With Professor Bane."

"What kind of detention is that going to be?" Isabelle asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Probably a painful and dreadfully boring one." He said with a drawl of his own. Max huffed a tiny laugh – or was it frustration? – and kicked at the air under his feet to grab their attention. The magic around Max was light and resembling the air. Alec hadn't seen that sort of magic before he had held his baby brother for the first time – Isabelle's were dark colors and Jace's was almost always golden or silver or something pure. But Max's magic… it was as though it faded into the sky and moved like the air. Max's magic was beautiful and Alec had never seen anything like it on anyone else.

"This doesn't make any sense." Max complained and rubbed at his forehead. Alec sighed in sympathy. Poor Max – magic was almost beyond him at the moment. Alec had a theory that his magic was so light and airy that sometimes it literally flowed with the air and got picked up and swallowed by someone else. Max had to learn how to control that before he could learn how to control the magic itself.

It was ridiculous to explain it like that, though, so he simply traded a look with Isabelle and leaned back to let her explain to him what he was missing.

"When is your detention?" Isabelle said the word as though that wasn't what it actually was. As though what it actually was was a massive secret that only she knew. She even sent him her sly look with a painted smirk and laughed when Alec rolled his eyes. He wasn't dumb, he knew what she was implying. But he wasn't about to start… fooling around with a teacher. Let alone one like… like Professor Bane.

"After dinner."

"Oh," Isabelle frowned. "Don't tell Jace."

"Why not?" He furrowed his brow.

"Because you two had that thing tonight, right? You were going to spar or something?"

Right. Panic grasped at Alec's heart until he almost felt it stutter to a stop. How would he explain this to Jace? "Right…."

"And seriously do not mention that you forgot."

"He forgets all the time."

"He's Jace." Isabelle frowned at him as though that were explanation enough and, Alec supposed, it was. "Anything that doesn't involve him staring at a mirror all day or Clary has about a seventy percent chance of being forgotten."

Alec picked at the corner of his thumb nail and bit his lip worryingly. He had never canceled on anyone before, let alone Jace. "What did you get a detention for?" Max asked after he had written down his answer.

Alec waved off the question but Max's curiosity of course spurred on Isabelle's own. The downside to having two Slytherin siblings – younger siblings at that. "What did you do? Pacify someone too hard? Not speak when Bane asked a question? Stare at him too long? No wait, I think he'd enjoy that, actually."

Alec scowled at her and willed her teasing smile to go away. It didn't though, of course not, and Max looked at the two of them as though they were speaking another language. "I…." Should he tell her what really happened? Isabelle didn't seem too interested in the answer anyway, distracted long enough by Max's question that Alec could slide out from next to her and make his excuses to leave. He stuffed his half-done homework in his bag and walked as fast as he could without making it obvious he was in a rush down to the Hufflepuff common room. He smiled a bit at the people who smiled at him, waved to Clary and Jordan and Simon who were stuffed in a corner and whispered the password before stepping inside the room.

Alec had been inside the other common rooms. He spent many nights on the cold floors of the Slytherin dungeon's when Isabelle had just started and was plagued by nightmares that disturbed all of her roommates. He had shared Jace's bed when they first started, back when the other boy was actually shorter than him and his white blonde hair tickled at Alec's nose at night. He had gone to Ravenclaw a few times to visit Clary or to drag Jace away from visiting Clary.

But the Hufflepuff common room was the only one that felt… real. When Alec curled up in the corner of the black leather arm chair he felt more at home than he had ever felt before, including in his own mother's arms. "What are we going to, Church?" He asked the cat that purred loudly on his bed, his fur dark green from a potion's accident when Alec was twelve. Church was Alec's best friend, he thought sometimes. The cat never judged him, never swiped at him or said anything hurtful when he wasn't thinking. He just curled up next to Alec on the bed and touched his paw to his nose and purred against his side. He let Alec burry his face in his fur and sometimes Alec woke up to a lazy brush of his rough tongue on his cheek or fingertips. The kind of acceptance that Church gave was exhilarating. He didn't hate Alec for any of the things Alec told him in confidence and he never told any of Alec's secrets.

"Mrow?" Church tilted his head in answer.

"These… feelings, Church. I've got to get them to end." He dropped onto his bed in a heap and told himself not to think of what he wanted to do with his life.

What he wanted to do with his life wasn't important. No one did what they wanted to do; everyone did what they were expected to do. And who was Alec to break that chain?

VI.

By the time dinner rolled around Alec was a mix of exhausted and exhilarated. He had pushed himself through his Potions work and dragged himself through the dirt of Defense Against the Dark Arts. He had done it all without asking for help even if he thought he may have needed it for the practical portion of the Potions assignment. He found he didn't care, however, if he were to have gotten it wrong. A first of many in the past few days.

He slipped off his robe and rolled up his shirt sleeves to his elbows, toying with the watch around his wrist and bidding Church a quick goodbye. The cat meowed and stretched out long, his paws reaching out towards him before curling back into his body. He promptly went back to sleep on top of Alec's tie, long since disregarded in the middle of homework.

Alec laughed a bit at the cat's antics and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and leaving his dorm as Jordan was coming in. "Hello." The other boy nodded in greeting and Alec nodded back. He liked Jordan. Liked Jordan's girlfriend Mia too. They were nice and simple people, both Hufflepuff's and both likely to give Alec the space he required.

He considered waiting for Jordan before going down but he knew he was only putting off the inevitable. No matter how much Alec pretended to be fine with the fact that he was getting punished for his actions in Charms earlier that day, he was a bundle of uncomfortable nerves on the inside. He was terrified that Professor Bane would write home to his parents – scared of what they would do if they even thought that he was acting out. Scared that Professor Bane would think that it was a good idea to write to them about his concerns of Alec not doing what he wanted to do in the future, but rather what was required of him.

He didn't like the idea and he swallowed down the fear as best as he could. Jace would notice it, no doubt, and Isabelle would only tease him about it. Alec squared his shoulders – he would sit by himself at dinner tonight if need be, he didn't want to put up with the two of them teasing him the way they tended to do.

"Lightworm, Lightworm!" A cackle came from above him. Alec tensed and slipped his wand from his pocket. Of course he couldn't go a day without being bothered by the poltergeist.

"Hello Peeves." Alec continued walking and told himself not to let the ghost stop him.

Peeves was an annoying little thing that had grown a fascination with Alec on his first day of Hogwarts. Alec never knew why and he had always wondered but he only figured that it was the fact that – as Isabelle had put it – he was just so fun to annoy. "Heard ya got in trouble." His voice teased from somewhere up above.

How was it that Peeves had heard about it? Chances were if Peeves did than so did everyone else. He rolled his eyes and groaned in what he considered to be mental preparation for what was bound to come. "Not now Peeves." He muttered and stepped through the open doors to the Great Hall. No one was staring at him, no one paused in their talking, and Alec was the same as always – generally overlooked. At breakfast the Hall was full of carefully segregated colors, red and green on opposite sides and yellow and blue in the middle.

Come lunch the Hall was a little bit more scattered.

But by the time dinner rolled around the Hall was white shirts and next to no ties. Houses didn't matter at dinner time, Gryffindors sat with Slytherins (though it was rare to really see them sitting at one of opposing houses' tables) and Ravenclaws sat with Hufflepuffs. It only proved Alec's theory right, anyway, that it wasn't the lack of inter-house unity that was a problem, but the lack of respect for each other that got in the way.

Alec walked until he found Jace, blonde hair a mess and arm slung over Clary's shoulders with an easy smile. Simon was sitting across from Clary, beside Isabelle and his attention so obviously unequally divided between the two girls. Max wasn't sitting far off, talking happily with his new friends and smiling at Alec when he walked by, his glasses sliding down his nose. "Evening big brother." Jace greeted casually when Alec sat down beside him.

"I'm a year older than you." He muttered and helped himself to a plate, thanking Clary gently when she passed him the bowl of rice.

"I was beginning to think you would skip out altogether." Isabelle said airily, not looking up at him in favor of dissecting her food with her fork. There was no way she didn't notice Simon's gaze constantly on the smaller girl. No way at all. Alec was sure that it must hurt, but Isabelle wouldn't say any such thing. They were open, she said, and Simon had every right to dream about a life with Clary that he would never have. Alec thought it was a bit cruel, but it was true. Clary would never fall in love with Simon, just like Jace would never fall in love with Alec. It was a harsh reality that Alec had accepted two years before, and it was about time Simon accepted it too. Before he missed the perfect girl standing right beside him.

"Alec's too good to ever skip a meal that you didn't cook." Jace countered for him and Alec rolled his eyes.

"I'll have you know that I'm an excellent cook, Jace Wayland."

"You're a terrible cook, Isabelle Lightwood."

"Alec!"

"Alec!"

"Shut up." He rubbed at his temples and stuffed a piece of chicken into his mouth. He loved his siblings, really he did, but sometimes they got a bit… out there.

Clary snorted as though he had made a joke and Jace looked at him with a clear affronted look on his face. "Max likes my cooking," Isabelle insisted. "Don't you Max?"

The youngest of the Lightwoods looked nervous for a long moment, his fork hovering halfway to his mouth, and his eyes wide as he tried to think of an acceptable answer. "Your cooking is an acquired taste, Izzy." Alec said for him and the three of them sat in silence waiting for her reaction.

The girl nodded after a moment, seeming to take it as a good enough answer, and going back to her food. Max let out a loud sigh of relief and Alec smiled a bit. Max was the calmest out of Alec's younger siblings and Alec would hate for the poor boy to have to answer to Isabelle over a small thing such as her cooking.

"It was you that did the paper trick in Bane's class today, wasn't it?" Simon asked softly – but not soft enough – and Alec almost choked on a pea. How had everyone heard? From Isabelle's guilty look, though, she had been the one to tell him of his detention that night.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said as smoothly as he could. It came off a bit choked, though, and Alec knew he was a terrible liar sometimes.

"Thank you," Simon said seriously and Jace pulled away from whatever bantering he was having with Clary to pay them a special sort of attention.

"For what?"

"For… you know… defending my honor."

"I wasn't defending your honor." Alec looked down at his food in disgust, something uncomfortable coiling in his stomach and pulling at his insides. He wasn't hungry anymore.

"Right," Simon nodded. "Yeah, of course not. You were defending Izzy's. And that's super cool too."

"Defending my honor from what?" Isabelle asked with curious anger and a small kick to Alec's shin under the table.

"From nothing-"

"From what Rose was saying." Simon carried on.

"What was Rose saying?" Isabelle asked the two of them.

"Nothing, Rose wasn't saying anything-"

"Things about us that were totally not true." Simon assured as best he could.

"Like what, Simon? Alec?" Isabelle posed the question but it was obvious she wasn't actually asking Alec.

"She wasn't saying anything-"

"That you were a… slu-"

"She wasn't saying anything, Isabelle." Alec spoke louder than usual and the group fell silent. He pushed away from the table and glared at Simon with all his might. What good would Isabelle knowing about what Rose called her do? None. It would only make their feud worse. "It's been dealt with and that's it."

"Alec-"

"I'm going to my detention with Professor Bane and don't any of you seek out Rose or her friends." He spared them one last look. "It will only make things worse."

He walked away from the table without a purpose, blending in with everyone else around him and leaving with a huff. His shoes echoed on the hall outside and he told himself that it was unreasonable to be upset. That Isabelle had every right to know and Alec had no right to keep it from her.

But there was this small, otherwise ignorable voice, that was telling him that it was personal and that mentioning it would only bring back that sick little thrill he had gotten when he heard the girls squeal and scream in terror.

Alec would do best to ignore both of the voices. He would do best to focus on the one thing he had to do, rather than what he felt. Feelings only got him into trouble, if this detention was anything to go by. If he hadn't allowed himself to get angry, as it was, he never would have gotten this detention.

VII.

Professor Bane's office was on the fifth floor, six doors down from the classroom Alec had Charms in four days a week. He knocked with a steady hand and storm clouds in his eyes. Alec considered leaving, grabbing his bag from where it rested at his feet and walking as fast as he could back to his dorm , never mind how much trouble he would get in.

It would be dumb of him to do so, though, as he would have to face Professor Bane the next day and explain to him why he had skipped the detention. He wasn't exactly willing to do that either.

"Good evening, Alexander." Professor Bane said from the doorway and Alec jumped. He should have known when the door opened. Should have seen him there. Lord, he was a mess.

Why the conversation at dinner had him so riled up he still wasn't sure, but he was sure that he needed to pull himself together for the next hour or so. Being a closed space with Professor Bane and no one else was going to be difficult enough, Alec couldn't allow himself to lose any sort of control like he had at dinner. Or in class. It just wasn't a good day, it seemed. "Good evening, Professor."

He stepped aside and swept his arm into the room, as though welcoming Alec, and his eyes followed him the whole way inside. Alec felt very bare, standing in the middle of the room without his robe on over his white shoulder, the first few buttons of his shirt undone and his hair out of place from his walk over. Professor Bane, though, seemed completely relaxed, walking about without shoes or socks, with pants that hung down from his hips and a silky green shirt that was unbuttoned most of the way to show a simple black tank top. He was a sight to see and Alec had to pull his eyes away from Professor Bane's collarbone before things got horribly awkward. His cheeks burned and he wondered if it was rude that he would rather keep his shoes on.

"I don't give many detentions, I'll admit." Professor Bane said from somewhere to Alec's right and when he looked up again it was to take in the actual décor of the room. There was a desk, stuffed in the corner, with a mess of papers and books on top of it. There were several adjourning rooms with archways and shut doors. A fluffy pink couch sat on top of a white rug and wooden floors. There was a peculiar black screen that Alec could see his reflection in on top of a wooden pile of drawers. Pictures hung from the walls and jackets by the door. A car was napping on the arm of the couch and it was, by far, the coziest office Alec had ever had the chance to be in.

Professor Bane was leaning up against the wall by Alec's side, a glass of water in his hand and a twinkle in his eyes. His lips were curved up in a small smirk and Alec's breath caught in his throat at the sight. It was wrong, how much Alec could picture this being his life. Professor Bane was teacher, for crying out loud. Alec was a student. He was in detention. It was about time he started acting like it. "The room… is smaller on the outside." He said as a way to deflate the tension in his body, shaking out his hands at his sides and breathing in deeply.

"Yes." Professor Bane said with a smile and a nod. "What's the charm?"

"Auctus."

"The Undetectable Extension Charm." His finger tapped against Alec's nose and he laughed at the look on his face. His eyes scrunched when he laughed, and he had laugh lines, gorgeous. "Very good, Alexander."

"Why do you call me that?" He asked in a rush of jumbled thoughts. One absolutely negative thing about Professor Bane was that he had the ability to render Alec speechless and then take away his filter. It was as though a part of Alec thought that he could say whatever he wanted to in front of the other man – that he wouldn't be judged or laughed at in a way that was cruel.

"It is your name." Professor Bane shrugged. "Which reminds me, my name is Magnus. Not Professor Bane."

"Everyone calls you Professor Bane."

"You're not everyone."

"I…" I'm not anyone. He shut his mouth and looked away, his cheeks burning and dropping his bag where Professor Bane motioned for him to do so. "What do I have to do tonight, Professor?"

"What makes you think you have to do anything other than sit on my couch and share a drink with me?" Professor Bane snapped his fingers and a tray of food appeared on the tiny coffee table in front of the couch. He sat down with a grace that Alec never saw anyone have and the cat on the arm sat up with a hiss and hopped down away from him. The cat wound through Alec's legs and purred, leaning up and into his hand when Alec bent down to pat it. It was a small animal – much smaller than Church – and a ball of white fur. Rather adorable, if Alec were to say so himself. Professor Bane almost seemed happy that Alec was giving the cat attention and took another sip of his water. "Sit, Alec."

Slowly, and with trepidation, he did so, lowering himself beside Professor Bane's long legs on the couch. He sat facing the odd black screen and his back straight as a rod. Professor Bane sat up as though concerned and when his hand touched Alec's back he tensed just a little bit. "I'm here for detention, sir." He said softly. "Not for… social hour."

"So I should be punishing you, is that it?" Professor Bane's hand fell from his back and Alec missed the warmth. He missed the wide space between Professor Bane's fingertips.

"I did curse another student."

"You jinxed another student." Professor Bane corrected. "There is a difference."

"Not much of a difference." Alec shrugged. "Either way it was with the purpose of hurting-"

"Harming." Professor Bane smiled at him and popped a piece of fruit into his mouth. "Harming is a lot more minor than hurting."

"Not really, no."

"Do you believe you should be punished, Alexander?" Professor Bane leaned forward and asked with a seriousness to his eyes that Alec hadn't expected.

Did he believe he should be punished for what he had done to Rose and her friends? That was quite the question, wasn't it? He believed that he should not have lost control like he had. It was wrong to have hurt her in such a way. But it was also wrong of her to have said the things she had. It was wrong for the other girls to laugh and join in. It was wrong of Professor Bane not to speak up and tell them to stop. "I believe, sir, that we were both in the wrong and, therefore, should both be punished."

"You and Rose, I'm assuming, and not you and me." Professor Bane nodded and sat back for a moment. "I promise that I will punish her if I hear it again."

Alec nodded because that was what they all said and arguing the point would solve nothing. "And for my punishment?"

"For your punishment…" Professor Bane studied him as though he were a complicated piece of art that he couldn't figure out. "For your punishment…" He tapped at his chin and ate another piece of fruit. "Oh hell, Alexander I don't think you deserve to be punished." He shrugged uselessly. "I don't punish students, it doesn't solve anything. Only pisses them off so much that they hate me. It's the idea of the punishment that usually teaches them not to act out. To be honest," Professor Bane rubbed at the back of his neck almost sheepishly. "I never expected to you actually show up. Students usually don't."

It's an out of character move and out of character words and Alec found himself leaning back in his seat in a confused sort of amusement. "So… what now?"

"I'm not sure." Professor Bane shrugged with a laugh. "You could eat something, you didn't eat much at dinner."

"You… you saw me at dinner?"

"You were busy fighting with your sister and what's-his-name but yes." Professor Bane nodded and took a bite out of a cracker with a devious smile. His cat eyes twinkled and Alec thought they were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. "You're quite hard to look away from."

"I'm-I'm nothing to look at."

"You're everything I love to look at."

Alec didn't know when they got close enough to breathe each other's air but there was only a hair's length between them. Professor Bane was a blur of two halves in front of his eyes, separated by Alec's nose and he shut his eyes to stop the oncoming headache from spreading. No one looked at Alec like that. They looked at Jace, they stared at Isabelle, they were enraptured by Max, captured by Clary, and intrigued by Simon. Alec… he was a nobody. He was someone you passed on the street and paid no mind to. He was the person that gave you your drink at a café or who checked out your books at the library. He was the person that you saw but you never wanted more from than what they did for you. He was painfully average. He was a Hufflepuff for crying out loud! He was known for being someone that faded into the background and he liked it that way.

But when Professor Bane looked at him Alec felt as though he was on level with Jace, he was higher than Isabelle, more of an anomaly than Clary, and like he could be something more than the sum of his family. He felt like he didn't even compare to them, but in a good way. It was unusual and terrifying but oh so exhilarating.

Professor Bane's hand landed on his knee and Alec blinked open his eyes. Professor Bane was as clear as day, sharp in his outlines and his eyes were searching out Alec's own. His hand swept down his shoulder and played with the hem of his shirt. His eyes glanced down to Alec's lips and Alec couldn't look away. He couldn't move away. He didn't want to move any farther than he already was. They met in the middle and their noses bumped softly. It didn't last more than a second and Alec's hand floundered for a moment before closing on Professor Bane's knees. "You are the most extraordinary being, Alexander Lightwood."

He felt like crying his heart ached so much. Instead he pushed himself forward, hiding his face in Professor Bane's expensive collar and nosing into the skin at his neck. His arms were tight around the other man and Professor Bane's were strong against his back.

It was impossible to feel this much, but Alec felt as though he was going to burst if he let go. He felt as though Professor Bane's arms were the only thing keeping all the cracks together.

VIII.

"What would you do with your life?" Professor Bane asked that night, curiously from the other side of the couch, Alec huddled in the corner and his cat – Chairman Meow – sitting comfortably in his lap, a purring ball of fur. "If you could pick anything?"

Alec hummed and pet down the Chairman's fur, trying and failing to not think about the fact that he had just kissed his teacher not twenty minutes ago. Professor Bane seemed content enough to ignore it and the hug that happened not moments after. He ignored it with an ease that Alec wished he could possess. Instead his mind kept flashing back to the moment and his cheeks kept getting redder and redder with the thought. "I never really thought of it." He said softly.

"Never really…." Professor Bane seemed outraged for Alec to have said such a thing, his eyes flashing in clear amazement and he leaned closer, his hands seeking out Alec's own and closing around them tightly.

He was amazed that the other man even wanted to touch him after the fact that Alec had just kissed him. He wasn't acknowledging that it had happened so… obviously it hadn't been all that great for him. "I always knew what I had to be."

"But what about what you want to be?"

"What I want doesn't matter."

"What you want to be matters more than what you have to be."

"How?" Alec pulled his hands away and stood up, turning his back on the confusing man behind him. "What I want has no bearing on what I have to be."

"The most terrible thing is that you actually believe that." Alec turned to him and frowned.

"Of course I believe that."

"Then humor me." Professor Bane stood up so that he could face him. Alec hadn't met many people taller than he was but Professor Bane was by an inch or so. His hands were firm and strong on Alec's shoulders and Alec felt like he was being pushed into the ground with their added weight. "What do you want to be when you leave Hogwarts?"

Alec was still and thought. He thought about a lot. He thought about curling into Professor Bane's chest with his arms around his waist and hugging him like he hugged nothing. He thought about turning around and leaving the office as fast as he could. He thought about his extensive knowledge of Charms and curses and hexes and jinxes and the drive Jace felt to be a member of the Department of Mysteries. He thought about Isabelle's love of Potions and he felt a sick feeling pull at his stomach. The same sick feeling from dinner. He felt everything and nothing at all. "I-I don't…."

"We don't have to do this." Professor Bane said softly. "I'd like us to do this but we don't have to."

Alec nodded wordlessly and unclenched his fists at his sides. "I should…."

"I've figured it out!" Professor Bane snapped and pointed at Alec, stopping him midsentence. "For your punishment you have to let me teach you how to dance!"

"I… what?" An absolutely ridiculous idea, to teach him how to dance. Alec knew how to dance, his mother had taught him when he ten and he thought he had taught Isabelle when she was ten and had been there to watch Jace learn and… He knew how to dance.

"Dancing." Professor Bane waved his hand as though the movement explained it.

"I know how to dance."

"The stiff, follow the rules and steps dance yes I'm sure." Professor Bane stepped closer. "But I'm talking about the passionate dances. The awkward middle school first dance dances. The club dances."

"You want to teach me how to dance in a club?"

"Well no," Professor Bane laughed. "But… don't spoil my fun and come here." He waved his hand and a few blue sparks danced out of his fingertips, dripping into the black screen in front of the couch. He pulled Alec closer by his waist and wrapped an arm around it. "It's my goal to make you laugh. And it's your goal to not laugh or show any emotion other than adorable annoyance and confusion."

"I don't-"

"Like that!" He tapped his nose and Alec wrinkled it in protest. "Oh my you're good at this. Now put your hands wherever."

"Isn't this a little-"

Soft music pounded through the room and Alec jumped when the black screen lit up, displaying an image that looked almost like fireworks exploding to the tune. A voice crooned and Alec felt Professor Bane begin to move. "That's a television," Professor Bane explained. "It holds thousands of different stories in it and you can see a different one every day. Muggles invented it years ago and it's really quite the instrument."

"It plays music." Alec muttered in amazement with his forehead wrinkled.

"Yes." Professor Bane swayed them and his hand was a wide row of fingers on Alec's lower back. "Really darling, do me a favor and relax some. You're so tense it's like you've never danced with anyone before."

"I can say that this is a first."

"Dancing with someone? Or dancing with another man?"

"Dancing during a detention."

Alec smiled almost sheepishly and Professor Bane smiled back. "You lose."

Alec hummed and tried not to look at Professor Bane's lips. They were pink and had a small gap between them where he was breathing in and out. They were enticing and when he formed his words it was as though each one was beautiful and a stunning work of art. Each word needed to be caressed and said exactly right to make them the way they were meant to be. They were to be nurtured and made into something extraordinary. "How did I lose?"

"You smiled."

"You said laughing would get me to lose." Alec pointed out with a smile. "I haven't laughed."

"You will."

"Prove it."

Professor Bane leaned closer and the tips of their noses brushed before he turned his head, small and miniscule and pushed their lips together. His arm tightened around Alec's waist and pulled him closer. It wasn't like a surge of electricity. It was like a warm blanket in the cold – a soothing drink of water in the heat – it was something that he needed but never knew he needed until then. Alec closed his hands over Professor Bane's shoulders and held onto his neck to keep him close, his hand sliding to touch the skin at his cheek and to run up and through the short dark hair there.

Professor Bane pulled away with a soft pop and Alec could feel his eyes on him – searching him and searching him and drinking him in until there was nothing left for him to see. "Say my name, Alexander."

"Magnus." He tugged on the other man's neck until they were kissing again, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheek. "You lose." He muttered between kisses.

"I think I can live with that."

IX.

Jace stopped him on the stairs on the way to breakfast the next morning. Alec had woken up a mix of exhausted and the most awake he had been in a long time. Jace seemed as though he had gotten next to no sleep, though, bags under his eyes and his hair even more of a mess than usual. "I need to talk to you." He said with slightly slurred speech. Jace stopped and rubbed at his eyes, and Alec was startled to see that they were red with tears and not from lack of sleep.

"What happened?" He asked urgently and grabbed a hold of his brother's arm, pulling him into an untraveled alcove under the stairs. "Jace, what happened?"

"Jocelyn was attacked last night." Jace said slowly and scrubbed a hand down his cheek. His tie was a crooked mess and his robes were hanging off his shoulders.

"Is… is she okay?" Alec had met Jocelyn Fray a few times before, she used to be good friends with his mother after all and she used to babysit him when he was younger. But Jocelyn had been married to Valentine and had disappeared for quite some time, only resurfacing when Clary had gotten her Hogwarts acceptance letter with Luke in toe. She was nice enough, she had never judged Alec but she had never really looked at him with approval either. Alec was sure she worried that he would be like his parents. Alec was afraid of that too.

"She was hit with some sort of curse." The magic around Jace turned darker at the word. "She's in a coma as far as anyone can tell. She's at Saint Mungos and Clary's with her and Luke for the day."

"Okay." Alec nodded. "Do you want me to tell your Professors where you are?"

"No, no." Jace waved off his concern. "I'm fine."

"Jace." Because Jace looked terrible. "At least go back to your dorm and get some sleep."

Jace stared at him for a long moment before nodding slowly. He then did something very uncharacteristic for Jace and Alec found himself wrapped in a tight hug. It wasn't like the hug he had shared with Professor- Magnus the night before, but more of an urgency thing. Jace wasn't one to hug anyone other than Max and Clary. "Jocelyn she… she was fire calling Clary when it happened. She… she said… Alec…."

"It's okay, Jace." Alec pulled away from the hug to look at his brother's face. "Go get some sleep."

Jace nodded and let Alec walk away, lingering in the corner before moving off to do so himself. Alec didn't want to think of the implications of Jocelyn being attacked. He didn't want to think of the horrible fact that it could mean that people were going after members of the Clave. Members of the Clave included too many people that Alec cared about. He wringed his fingers together and sat silently beside Isabelle and Max during breakfast, the three of them steadfastly trying not to think about the absence of Clary and Simon and Jace.

"I heard they attacked Jocelyn Fray last night." Albus Potter was saying in hushed voices to Scorpius Malfoy from a few seats down. Albus was all right, considering how obnoxious the rest of the clan of Potter's and Weasley's were. He was quiet most of the time and he wore the Slytherin green like it was a badge of his difference to the rest of them.

"Who's they, Al?" Scorpius said just as softly and Alec started at the two of them with a question in his eyes.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Dad says the Aurors have it under control."

"I reckon it was Valentine." Hugo Weasley didn't bother whispering.

"Valentine's dead." A voice snapped from above and Alec froze, his fork halfway to his mouth and his eyes traveling up the blue robes to the man who was wearing them. Profes- Magnus winked at him before speaking again to the third years. "Don't go spreading rumors like that. Or did your parents teach you nothing?"

The three boys flushed and looked back down at their breakfasts, eating in silence. "Good morning, Lightwoods." Magnus greeted the three of them, Max nodding hello in clear hero worship and Isabelle waving as her mouth was full. "Alexander." He smiled a bit wider as he said Alec's name, almost as though tracing it for future use.

Alec blushed around his sip of orange juice. "Good morning, Professor."

"Ah, what did we talk about?" He was teasing, Alec could tell he was.

"Magnus."

"There we go." And he winked once more before walking away, his shoes clicking on the floor and Alec's cheeks so hot they could almost catch fire.

It only got worse when Isabelle's eyes met his from across the table. "You didn't." She asked, giddier than she had been the whole day.

"Isabelle."

"You did!" She laughed loudly. "Oh my God, Alec!"

"What did he do?" Max asked confused.

"Nothing, I did nothing." Alec quickly covered up.

"Alexander Lightwood, oh my God." Isabelle cackled.

"Isabelle, by the Angel you will-"

"I'm so proud of you!" She laughed again. "But oh my God."

X.

It was dark in London that night and the young man almost tripped over his own feet to get to where he was going. He could not be late for this meeting and get away with it. Not if he wanted to actually survive passed twenty.

His footsteps echoed on the pavement below them and little drops of rain coated his slick black jacket. His hair was a dark brown, pulled up hastily into a ponytail at the base of his neck and covered by a wide black hood. His outfit was similar, his hands covered by thick leather gloves. It wasn't cold out, by any means, but the young man yearned to hide the marks that were painted onto his body with a crude blunt instrument.

Taking the marks wasn't something that was meant to be taken lightly – they hurt to receive and the pain was to be expected, especially for something as serious as what he was about to stumble into. They burned with each step but he pushed ahead, regardless.

"About time." A voice spoke from the shadows and the young man spun on his heel, squinting into the darkness that surrounded him. There was nothing more but an outline, tall and sturdy and poised with a glinting knife. The young man swallowed and patted at his pockets for his own weapon.

The wood slid evenly into the palm of his hand and he stood at the ready – prepared to attack if the silhouette did so themselves. "I had to make up an excuse to leave." He said.

"Yes, that old coot of a Headmistress must be very hard to pull yourself away from." There was something teasing at the edge of the stranger's voice and the young man forced himself to swallow down his fear.

He had heard of meetings like this having happened during the Second War with Voldemort. His parents had warned him of the Death Eaters that would wait in the shadows, coax you into trusting them, and then attack so fast that you did not know what to do about it. It had been the beginning of the uprising called the Circle and Valentine until he had been killed in a fire.

"It's the ghosts you really have to worry about." The young man answered. "Most of the secret passages out of the school have been closed off ever since Voldemort."

"Of course." The stranger twirled the knife in his hand, the silver of the blade pulling the light and the young man's heart pounding loudly in his chest. "Do you have what I asked you to get?"

"Polyjuice potion, yes." The young man nodded and slid it out of his pocket. The vial was light and slippery. "Do you have my money?"

"There's one more thing I need from you." The stranger said and stepped into the light.

The young man's voice caught in his throat. It was as though he were looking into some sort of mirror, the hair the same messy color of dark brown and the eyes the same glittering chocolate. The stranger was even wearing the same clothes! He was only a little bit taller, but not by much, and the young man felt his fear pull at his insides and twist them until there was nothing but fear left.

He turned to run but the knife was in his back, cold and painful and slick with precision. He fell to the ground, and his wand clattered to the wet pavement and rolled away. A foot stopped it gently and a hand reached down – pale and wet – to pick it up in its own. The stranger kneeled down and pulled the potion from his limb fingertips and the young man could only blink, paralyzed.

"Thank you so very much for all your help, Sebastian." A pack full of money hit his arm. "Here's your money. Enjoy the commission."

Footsteps echoed out into the night and Sebastian's eyes fluttered shut as his life ran down into the sewers with the rain.

X.

Clary was quiet when she came back to Hogwarts that night, her head cushioned on Simon's shoulder until Jace stumbled into their little alcove of the library. Simon let her go, but not without a glare, and Alec sat on the table, his legs dangling off and a book in his lap. He wasn't actually reading, no matter what Isabelle would tease him about from her spot on the floor, but rather staring absentmindedly at the pages. "Clary!" Isabelle had exclaimed when she caught sight of their dreary friend, holding onto the back of Jace's robe like it was a lifeline and burying her face in his shoulder. When she looked up her face was wet with tears, and her eyes were rimmed with red.

Jace slid his hand down to lace his fingers with her own and tugged her into his lap, his hands gentle as he cuddled her to his chest.

Alec wanted to tell Simon to stop looking so jealous – that he had a good thing with Isabelle and Clary made Jace happy and vice versa. That this wasn't about Simon, this wasn't about his stupid childhood crush, but rather about Clary's mother who was in the hospital. Who had been attacked.

It wasn't about Simon.

But it wasn't about Alec either so he kept his mouth shut and offered Clary a tissue that she took with a wordless shaky smile of thanks.

"Is Jocelyn okay?" Isabelle asked as though she was afraid of the answer.

"She's still alive, if that's what you're asking." Clary said as cheerfully as she could manage. "Luke's with her now, though."

"No one expected you to come back so soon." Jace softly told her and Clary blinked up at him and then out at the rest of them.

"I know." She shrugged. "But I couldn't just not come once I found out that Alec had his first detention." She teased and Alec let her even though his cheeks flamed in thought of the said detention.

Isabelle laughed loudly and hit his knee when he lightly kicked out at her. "Oh he had a good time."

"I find detentions quite fun, myself." Jace said cheerfully, "The clapping of erasers and lines have done wonders for my hand muscles."

"What hand muscles?" Simon asked with an annoyed huff.

Looked like the two of them were fighting again, Alec thought with a roll of his eyes. When were they ever going to realize that they both loved Clary the same and fighting with one another was pointless? "Come over here and we'll have a thumb war and I'll prove it to you."

Simon actually moved to stand up but Isabelle pulled him down with a sharp downwards pull. "Stop flinging your masculinity everywhere." She told the two of them sternly with a glare in her eyes.

"Of course, so sorry to offend Miss Isabelle." Jace winked at her and she scowled at him.

"This is why I hang out with Alec more than you."

"Because he doesn't apologize?"

"Because he actually has a sense of propriety."

"Such a large word for a dainty mouth."

"Fuck you, Jace."

"Dirty words for a lady to be speaking."

"I'll have you know I speak some very dirty words, don't I Simon?"

"Does she, Simon? I'll have to get the soap to wash out that mouth."

"Oh Merlin, shut it the two of you." Alec interrupted and rubbed at his forehead. Clary was smiling, though, and Alec felt one tugging at the corner of his own mouth. Fine, fine, if they wanted him to be the center of the conversation until they felt okay enough to breach the old topic of Jocelyn Fray then so be it. Whatever made them all feel better, even if it did make Alec spectacularly uncomfortable.

Isabelle smirked and Simon blushed and Jace… well Jace looked positively smug. "Do tell about your detention, big brother."

"Only a year older than you." Alec reminded him and Jace simply winked in response, a kinder look in his eyes than the one he had sent Isabelle only a minute ago. Jace was the person Alec trusted with almost everything, but he would not trust any of them with the information of what had happened between him and Magnus the night before. It wasn't any of their business, anyway, even if Isabelle thought she knew what had happened. Alec wouldn't verbally confirm or deny it, so long as he lived. He wasn't ready for something like that. "And it was detention."

"Yes, but did you have to clap erasers or write lines? Because Izzy dear seems very interested in what happened."

"As would you if you knew what I do." Isabelle countered and Jace raised an interested eyebrow at Alec.

"What happened?" Clary giggled a bit as Jace shifted to he was leaning forward a bit. "Did he use you to test some silly experiments? Did something dirty happen?"

"Nothing happened." Alec rolled his eyes and stood up, brushing off his pants. "Now, it's almost curfew and I have to report to my duties. You four should head back to your rooms."

"Whatever you say, Prefect." Isabelle teased and clasped his outstretched hand to pull herself up. She smoothed down her skirt and pranced away with a small kiss to his cheek and her arm slung through Simon's, pretending not to see the look he sent Clary as he walked away.

Jace lingered behind, Clary tucked under his arm and his eyes curious and worried. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asked softly, Clary studiously pretending not to be listening.

"Yes, Jace, I know." He assured and Jace nodded slowly.

"Okay." He stared at Alec a moment longer. "Good night, Alec."

"Good night Jace, Clary." She smiled a bit as they walked away, her arm around Jace's waist and his over her shoulders.

They looked good together, Alec thought as he slid his book back into his bag.

XII.

"Boo." Alec jumped and almost slid down the staircase as it began to move with him on it. He steadied himself with as much grace as he could, but it was the hand on his waist that really kept him from falling flat onto his face. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't." He lied quickly and turned to face the other man behind him. Magnus smiled devilishly from the stairs above him, not moving his hand away but smoothing the fabric that covered his hip with his thumb.

"Hello." He stepped so they were closer, his voice soft in the almost empty school.

Hogwarts was beautiful at night, the moonlight streaming in through the wide windows, the suits of armor glittering and the halls echoing with the snores of the portraits. It was almost silent and it was almost as though Alec was the only one who existed in the world, standing on this staircase and looking out at the school that was usually so packed with students and teachers that it was bursting from its seams. "Hello." Alec answered Magnus and when the other man smiled it was as though the sun was rising.

"Student out of bed." Magnus said softly and stepped a bit closer. "I should punish you."

"I'm a prefect." Alec laughed breathlessly and stepped down a stair to stop his head from spinning.

"That explains it then." Magnus walked them backwards, until Alec's back hit an empty bit of wall. Alec was amazed he didn't trip down the stairs, but the hand of his hip kept a firm grip until they were off the stairs. It was a trust that Alec never expected to give up so easily, but he did, and his own hands, clumsy and unsure, closed over Magnus's forearms. "You think you're better than everyone else."

"I do not." Alec protested as Magnus leaned closer.

His eyes dropped down to the professor's lips, pink and open and wet from spit that he had glossed over with his tongue only moments before. It was tantalizing. What was even better was the fact that this was actually happening and not some messed up part of his mind. "You should give it a try sometime."

"Being arrogant?"

"It would be an incredibly sexy look on you." The space between their lips was breached for a moment, soft and gentle but electrifying. Magnus's arms slid to encompass his whole waist, wrapping around him in a tight hold, his right hand ending on Alec's left side and his left ending on Alec's right. It felt incredible to be held like that, like you were the only thing that could possibly fit in someone else's arms. "Though," Magnus said as he pulled away, his forehead resting against Alec's and their noses brushing at the tips. "Bashful schoolboy works just as well."

Alec snorted and pushed him away for a moment, straightening his robes and trying to keep the blush from staining his cheeks any more than it already was.

"I have a job I need to do, you do know that?" He asked as he began to walk.

"Of course you do." Magnus sidled up next to him, his fingertips brushing against Alec's own. "You always do what you need to do."

"And what I want to do." Alec pointed out. "This place… it's beautiful at night."

"Yes," Magnus agreed but his eyes were staring at Alec as they passed by a window. "It certainly is."

"Stop being sappy." Alec pushed him gently.

"Darling, you're going to have to stop stirring up these feelings in me, then."

Alec rolled his eyes and told himself to ignore the smile on his face. Told himself that it was nothing but a silly infatuation that would go away with time.

Up ahead there was a breathy moan and Alec stopped in his tracks, Magnus's front bumping against his back. "Sounds like someone's having a good night." He said softly. Alec slid his wand from his pocket. "Are you planning on cursing them for being out after bedtime?"

"Something doesn't feel right." Alec didn't mention the fact that the magic in the air wasn't a nice color, or that there seemed to be almost no magic in the area the moans were coming from. A desk squeaked and a loud cry of ecstasy filled the hallway. Alec wrinkled his nose and mentally counted backwards from ten.

"Let's leave them to it, eh?" Magnus asked weakly but wrapped his hand around Alec's wrist and walked forward.

Looking through the tiny window of the room Alec turned away with disgust and surprise on his face. A flurry of red hair was against a wooden desk, Rose Weasley's naked body something that Alec had never wanted to see before. Another body, lean and strong and male, was standing over her, equally naked and with curious markings on his back. He looked vaguely familiar but Alec was walking fast enough down the hall that he told himself not to pay it any mind.

Let them have their night. He still took points away from Gryffindor, though, silently apologizing to Jace in his mind, and trying very hard to not think about what he just saw.

"I feel like I should go remind them to have safe sex." Magnus said softly, his fingers sliding down to mingle with Alec's own.

"I feel like I need to scrub that image away from my mind." Alec responded with a choked voice.

"Oh Lord, you are so very gay."

"I think I might be sick."

"It's a natural thing, Alexander."

"Nothing about that was natural."

"Your parents have done it. How do you think you got here?"

"Stop talking before I make you."

XIII.

"Well that was the most awkward class I've ever sat through." Simon said with a cheerful ease as they walked out of Charms the next day. "Professor Bane looked like he was going to start lecturing Rose about like safe sex or something every time he looked at her."

Alec coughed and hid his blushing red cheeks behind his hand. "Maybe a lecture would do her good." If there was one thing he never had to worry about with Isabelle it was her practicing safe sex. Isabelle, contrary to popular belief, had yet to give it up to any man (or woman, but Isabelle didn't like girls that way). She was waiting for the right time, and at a boarding school wasn't the right time for her yet. Alec was proud of her, not so proud of her reputation, but proud of her.

As it was, Alec couldn't sleep the night before, haunted by what he had seen and heard in the classroom on the sixth floor. He flushed when he had run into Magnus in the hallway, and he hadn't been able to even utter a hello when Rose had walked into him on his way to breakfast. He was lucky that she thought he was selectively mute, otherwise his silence would have given everything away.

Still, Alec had yet to see the young man she had been with – which was a good thing if anyone were to ask him. Simon hadn't missed the sour lemon sort of look on Magnus's face, though, the moment Rose walked into the classroom, nor had anyone missed the way Magnus kept opening and closing his mouth whenever he looked at her. Alec would have found it funny, if he wasn't so troubled by it himself.

He wasn't sure why he was worried about what Rose had been doing, after all, it was just Rose. Rose Weasley who he had never gotten along with, but Alec had never gotten along with any of the Potters or Wealsey's for that matter. Why was he worried about her? Why did he care what she got up to during her free time? Maybe because it was precisely what she had been accusing Isabelle of doing just a few days earlier or maybe it was because Alec had met Hermione Weasley that one time and he couldn't imagine her reaction if she knew what he had stumbled upon her daughter doing.

Alec wasn't a prude. He knew what sex was. He had dreamed of sex before. It was partially how he had figured out that he liked men over women. He had even had… those dreams… about Magnus once or twice before.

He flushed at the thought. "On sex education?" Simon asked jokingly.

Alec shook his head and walked away, leaving Simon with Mia and Jordan and crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest. He needed to allow himself to breathe and forget about what he had seen. It was only an act of sexual deviance. Teenagers did that sort of thing all the time.

"Lightwood, right?" Alec jumped and looked at the boy in front of him. The boy was his age, as far as Alec could tell, and wearing a Gryffindor crest over his heart. He had dark brown hair and dark eyes and a curved nose. "I'm Verlac. Sebastian Verlac? Our parents were friends."

The name struck a bell, but not for the reasons Sebastian was anticipating. Sebastian was the head of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, beating out Jace by a mere sliver during their fifth year. "Yes, of course." People didn't normally seek out Alec. It was odd that someone like Sebastian Verlac, who got along well enough with the in crowd and was dating Rose… oh. Oh.

Alec stared at him a little longer than was necessary before snapping himself out of it.

"I was wondering if you knew where Herondale is?"

"Who?"

"Jonathon?"

"Jace?" No one called Jace Jonathon except for his mother when Jace was in serious trouble. Alec wasn't even sure if it was in official records that Jace's name was Jonathon. All teachers knew to call him Jace without him even asking. It was just… a thing.

"Yes." And, for that matter, Jace's last name according to his father was Wayland, not Herondale. Maybe Sebastian had him confused with someone else? Jace had been called all of two things in the time Alec had known him, Jace Wayland and Jace Lightwood – both of which depending on his mood. "I need to speak to him about something. Him and Clarissa."

Clarissa.

Something prickled up Alec's spine and he shook his head. "No." He shrugged. "They're probably in class." He lied through his teeth and watched as Sebastian walked away, thanking him for his time and making him promise that if he were to run into either of them he would tell them that Sebastian was looking for them.

It wasn't something that Alec was planning on doing, telling them, and he shook his head before carrying onto Potions class.

He paid no mind to the prickle of confusion in the back of his mind.

He missed, in the studious attention he was paying to the ground, the dark look Rose Weasley sent his way, and the absolutely devilish gleam of her smile as she took off with a sway to her hips to follow him.

XIV.

Magnus didn't particularly enjoy teaching Charms. In fact, he hated the subject. But it was one closest to what he actually did as a Warlock and because of that he gladly taught the snot-nosed students. And that wasn't him being mean; there was literally a child in the front row that had snot hanging from his nose. Magnus wrinkled his nose in disgust and turned back towards the board. "Now in order to perfect any charm it helps to have a want." He tapped his pen against the palm of his hand and weaved through the desks until he was back in front. "You have to want what you're saying. So… you're using accio for example," He pointed the pen at a book on a student's desk, "Accio book." The book few into his hand and Magnus congratulated himself on masking his brand of magic as theirs with a clever smirk. "I wanted the book, so it came to me. I, however, don't want that piece of chalk on the floor. Accio chalk." The white round ball didn't move even a centimeter. "It doesn't even move. So it's all about wanting."

"I can want it all I want," One of the boys in the front, one with big glasses and raven hair and blue eyes and the name Lightwood that Magnus had only recently started associating with someone he could care about, said with a tone of voice that said he knew he was right. Magnus's mouth twitched. Well, his brother was Magnus's favorite student. "That doesn't mean it's going to work."

Magnus was just about to correct the boy – Max if he remembered correctly – when the door slammed against the wall, Professor Longbottom jogging in. He was winded, and his limp, left over from his time in the War, was more pronounced. He had sweat dripping down the side of his face and it was obviously urgent. More urgent than Magnus had ever seen anything in this school (well aside from that one time that first year boy leaned so far out of the stands during a Quidditch match that he literally toppled over the edge).

He dropped his hand and looked at the other man in question. "Neville?" Magnus made a point of addressing every member of the staff by their given name, rather than their family one. It was something about familiarity, and something about getting under their skin. "What is it?"

But the Herbology Professor never seemed to take offense to it, he actually seemed to rather like it, beaming in that way he did so that his smile pulled across his pudgy cheeks and sparkled in his eyes, the first time Magnus had called him Neville. He took it that the other man had been teased a lot growing up. Professor Longbottom, Magnus was sure, shoved it to all of those bullies during the War. He was a war hero, after all. Right up there with Harry Potter, Hermione Granger (Weasley now, Magnus supposed) and Ronald Weasley. He was on par with Ginny Potter, in the eyes of the Wizarding World. Popularity was something that had never come easy to the other man. "Magnus there's… there's been an attack."

"An attack?" The air in the room shifted and Magnus felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up in protest.

He had felt something, not too long ago, a sort of coiling of the castle's magic. The wards had been tampered with earlier in the year, that was why Magnus was there, but he hadn't found the person that had tampered with them yet. He had a feeling he might never find them. So why not enjoy himself while he could? He owed them a year, nothing more and nothing less. "A boy has been hurt."

"How badly?"

"None of our spells are working."

Neville didn't wait long enough for Magnus to formulate a response, running out of the room at a breakneck speed. Magnus paused a moment, looking at all the panicked faces around him before shrugging. "Class dismissed?" They didn't move so Magnus figured he would have to, surging forward and running through the open door.

He followed where the mass group of students were going, shouldering through them with as much force as he could muster. Frustration was quick to gather in his belly and Magnus paused, letting out a huff and throwing out his hands, red sparks dancing between his fingertips. "Move!" The students pushed to the sides like a tidal wave, a few of them even going as far as to shriek and he stepped, carefully, forward, to where Neville was kneeling beside a prone looking figure that laid stretched out on the ground.

Magnus paused for a moment, a familiar stirring in his gut.

This wasn't good.

No, this wasn't good at all.

But, to make matters worse, it had to be this person.

Twin cries broke the silence and Magnus shut his eyes as he kneeled next to unnaturally pale skin. Don't be dead, he whispered in his thoughts.

"Isabelle!"