A/N: Hark! A!.. Suite Life fic? Wait, what? Where did this come from? Well, it came to me in the car on the way back to college for the nth time, and I just HAD to write it. :P Not some "triumphant return" or anything like that, but hopefully a fic you like? Small elements of crossover with Wreck-It Ralph, but just few enough for it to not be categorized as crossover. The italicized, weird lines are not thoughts, they're just… there.

A few years changed a guy.

Video game programming major. Habitual frowner. Hasn't seen his family in months.

All labels he could wear with varying degrees of pride. None of them the person he was just a few short years ago.

Today? He was lonely.

The blond 21-year-old sauntered through the door of the arcade that stood just off Route 83, glancing around at the games no one was playing. In his pocket, an old trick of his.

A little boy who was about your height and your hair color was seen in the game room tampering with the games and playing for free.

It was like he was twelve again as he ran his hands across the fishing-lined quarter in his pocket. He knew it was taking precious profits from the people he wanted to be someday, but he also knew he was a broke college student going it alone.

Couldn't a guy have a little fun?

He looked to the available games, eyeing Sugar Rush first. He wasn't particularly girly, but the game had a Mario-Kart-esque feel to it that couldn't keep him away.

It also employed a thread cutter that would render his five-finger discount unusable, one of the last thread-cutter-equipped games TobiKomi made. No go.

He eyed Hero's Duty next. He knew of the easter egg one could encounter if they managed to get a whole two bucks in—the game's difficulty would ramp up to 11 and Calhoun would make jabs at you for play without pay.

By the way: If you like this game, buy it or die.

But the one-way ratchet the coin slot contained would make this payout near impossible. And so he wouldn't choose this one, either.

And that was how he ended up at Fix-It Felix Jr. Boy had it been years since he'd played an actual cabinet of this puppy. He reckoned he might have been eight or nine last time he played on real, original hardware. And it was clear this hardware was indeed original, 32 years of wear obvious on the art and controls. Released in 1982, it was before the wave of coin-string thefts of video games that necessitated string cutters and ratchets.

One drop and tug and he was in.

Quarter alert!

The game mechanics were easy to his seasoned hands, especially since he knew the mobile version like the back of his thumb, considering he'd played it for months after its release on the heels of a movie about the game's villain and even deconstructed the code used to build it.

He found his mind drifting to other things, namely how his life had become what it was.

He chilled for a few months post-graduation, the Maya breakup still fresh enough to sting. Mooched off his mom a bit, caused havoc for Esteban, who had been promoted to "real" manager from night manager, taught some new kids tricks of the trade.

…And then Maya had to go get herself killed in Chad. Working in an orphanage when she ended up with shrapnel in her brain.*

2 Lives Left! Ready!

And for a few months, he really didn't care what happened to himself. He probably couldn't have cared less if he died. Maya changed him in a lot of ways, and just like how her breakup didn't make him the boy he used to be, her death didn't do that, either. In fact, it probably changed him more than all of their time together could have.

Everyone around him was a whiny baby about it. Cody was always talking about how she had such potential, how she could have won a Nobel Prize or something. Bailey didn't like to talk about it, throwing herself into her classes. And honestly, even the two of them being together at all set him off; it reminded him of how they used to be.

Except for when they'd fight over how much Cody talked about it. That was just annoying.

And his mom. His mom. Every day she'd ask if he was okay. He supposed he couldn't blame her, but he didn't like the constant coddling.

Heck, even Moseby found out and sent his well-wishes!

Take that noise and perform an expletive to it. He left. Packed his bags, hightailed it out of there, and started looking into jobs and colleges.

1 Life Left! Ready!

And he found one that fit him and would take his subpar work. So he moved to the Podunk town and set up camp, even managing to hold down a job, a job in the building next to the arcade.

Mom would be proud. Did she miss him? Did she wish he was more like his brother, less flighty and prone to grab ideas like leaving his life behind by the horns? Did she throw out his stuff? Did her interest in his life, her love for him wane? Did she even care about him anymore?

Fix it, Felix! I can fix it!

Wasn't that what happened when things stopped being in your life? TV shows, movies? Didn't games that weren't played enough get unplugged? It seemed that all good things had to come to an end, and when they did, you stopped caring.

But was it like that with people?

No, he remembered Maya; he'd never forget Maya, her silky brown hair, her love for poetry, her hate for womanizers.

Like he used to be.

He climbed the building and could have sworn he saw his friends and family in those 8-bit characters onscreen.

He'd never forget that even though Maya hated long distance relationships, even though they'd broken up over the issue, she still cared about him—enough, in fact to send him letters, the last of which actually didn't arrive until after she'd died.

It was like a bad series finale, the kind that left an imprint on you days, weeks, months, even years later.

Great, now he was crying, unable to see what he was doing, as he launched Felix into a brick. And for a few seconds, art imitated life.

And the characters in the game, realizing he'd played for free, had been planning to put up a hokey antipiracy screen. But seeing his emotion, they changed it up, displaying a very different screen that still conveyed the antipiracy message but instead like a continuation of the game's story.

"And so Mayor Gene realized that he had been wrong to steal, and he commissioned a new home for Ralph and his friends and family. They all lived happily ever after in East Niceland."

Zack's brow furrowed, and he could have sworn the characters in the cabinet seemed to be leaning toward him, looking as if they wanted to comfort him. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, and when they reopened the cheerful idle demo was playing once more. Zack stood there in quiet thought for a second before taking out an unstringed quarter, dropping it in the slot, and walking away from the cabinet. He walked up to the owner of the arcade, a middle-aged man sporting glasses, a comb-over, and a ref shirt and asked a simple question.

"Is there a phone I can use in here?"

A/N: Whoop there it is? XP

*This is a reference to James Doyle's story, "Beyond the Veil", from the 2011 Halloween Collection, hosted by Lodylodylody. Go check it out. And if you are James Doyle and you aren't okay with the reference, I can make it less connected?

Please provide me with some reviews. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.