Well, here's the next chapter! This was going to be up sooner, but the past two days has been kinda hectic, so sorry! I also had some bad luck and got the back of my right ankle scrapped up by a wheelchair and didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't want to rush the chapter in the time I did have so I hope the wait was worth it! I hope you enjoy it!

Date Published: 10/18/14
Word Count: 8,202
Page Count: 11

Chapter 4: Hope's Obliteration by Despair

Hinata Hajime was sure he was going to die. That the slash against his stomach was going to be the end of his boring existence. That the only meaningful thing he ever did in his life was help solve two murders and saved one other person from being killed by Tsumiki. It wasn't anything special, and he knew this. Even so, he was contempt with the outcome. He could have done absolutely nothing in that situation, but instead he managed to save one life. So in the end, he was happy to know that his death accomplished something rather than nothing at all.

Yet when he opens his eyes and finds himself in the storage room in the music venue, he isn't exactly sure of what's going on. His body feels stiff and feeble, he has a pulsating headache, and pain is dancing all over his wounded stomach. He is laying on his right side on the wooden floor, his hands resting behind his back, and then he motions his head downwards. He doesn't have his tie anymore, and the lower parts of his shirt is dyed with his blood. He feels the liquid sticking annoyingly on his groin and soaked up a bit in his boxers. He tries to move his right hand to pull up his shirt, but finds that he is unable to do so.

He tries to move both of his hands this time, but feels them brushing against a thick and rugged material. He then takes note of the same material being wrapped tightly around his ankles, preventing him from moving his feet freely. He then pulls his head away from his stomach and towards the door that leads back into the main part of the building.

"So I'm alive huh?" he mumbles to himself considering there are no other people in the room, "And here I was thinking I was going to die a semi-painful death. I guess Tsumiki is dead serious about torturing and making me see my friends suffer considering she saved my life. She must really want me to feel the despair she hasn't shut up about."

Hinata quickly comes to grasp his situation despite the agonizing pain coursing throughout his body. Tsumiki saved his life just so she can continue to torture him for her gruesome fascination. She then tied him up with the rope she was going to use to kill Mioda with, and dragged him into the storage room. That might explain why his head is pounding like a drum. She probably banged his cranium, or anything else for that matter, off of something while taking him down from the stage. He must have just passed out from the severe pain, but said agony also woke him up. He speculates that Tsumiki stopped the bleeding, cleaned out the wound with some ointment she carries around, and wrapped it up with bandages. She probably didn't have any pain killers to give him. Or she did have them but just didn't feel like giving them to him so he could suffer some more.

A nurse in despair is a formidable opponent when you are perfectly fine, but when you're injured it's a completely different ball game. She can easily take care of your wounds, and then just go back to brutalizing you without a care in the world. She knows exactly where to make one bleed and suffer without killing them. She also knows where to strike to make someone suffer a long, sluggish, agonizing death. The type of death that would allow her to swell up with her twisted obsession and fantasize joyfully. He hopes she doesn't have any needles filled with who knows what tucked away in her apron. It's one thing to get cut up with a knife, it's another thing entirely to be shot up with some mysterious drug. He doesn't want to go crazy, claw at his own throat and kill himself. Or anything else for that matter.

"I doubt I was unconscious for very long," he says to himself while continuing to analyze the situation, "My stomach hurts way to damn much to let me sleep peacefully. It feels like little devils are poking at me with pitchforks," he jokes with a small sad chuckle. He silently prays that the pain doesn't intensify to the extent that it would knock him out again. If he passes out for a second time, he doubts Tsumiki would just leave him be or take care of his wounds. He wouldn't put it pass the despair induced girl do something else to his body, like cut off something and replace it with something that would horrify him when he would awaken.

His mind then shift gears from focusing on himself to the other three people. He hopes that Saionji is still alive, or that she managed to get away from here and inform the others about what has been going on. It be nice if both options happened, but he has his doubts considering how weak she is. The petite girl can only do so much on her own after all, especially considering how frighten she was before. Tsumiki is more than likely plotting some form of torture for himself and Saionji depending on if she is still alive. Or she's creating a plan to make him fall into the despair she loves so much. While for Mioda, he isn't all that sure. She could be doing either two things about now, killing Saionji herself so Tsumiki will be able to surpass Monokuma's two deaths per person rule. Or is dead already herself. Tsumiki was originally going to kill her, so she could have done it already.

"No, Tsumiki wants to see me writhe in agony. She wants to see me fall into despair for some damn reason I just can't come close to understanding. She wouldn't kill either of them until she's done with me," he speaks irritably while clenching his bounded hands. The nurse has her fog filled eyes set on seeing him suffer. If he didn't walk into the venue, he's sure she would have just killed the two girls and then act like nothing happened at all. It is as if there is something special about him, something that only she knows and wants to exploit for fun.

"What the hell did I do in the past to make her want me to join her in this game of despair?! Just who is this other person she mentioned before?! What does he and I have in common?! What connects us both to this situation?!" he yells out from both his confusion and the pain swirling around his belly. She wants all of them to fall into despair and be like her, right? Yet she seems intent on killing the other two just so he would be the one to fall into this despair. What could her motive be for wanting him to be like her? Does she want him to be her second in command for some reason? Is it because he was kind to her? That she wants a nice person to be by her side when she's going around like a mad woman murdering people?

"Just who the hell is this other person she mentions?" he mumbles lowly to himself, trying to come to some understanding of who this other person is. Is there another person hidden away on this island? Living in a secrete mansion or underground somewhere? Is it a human, or something else? Is this extra addition the mastermind behind this game of mutual killing? The one controlling both Monokuma and Monomi? The person who caused the disease to spread around and twisted Tsumiki into what she is now? The complete asshole who he would love to deck for having his friends kill each other and making everyone suffer?!

"If there is one other person on this island, what does he and I have in common? Are we somehow connected, but because of our memories being tampered with I can't remember? I can't believe that I would be involved with the person who could behind all of this! Tsumiki must have said that to just get to me!" he declares furiously. If there is another person, he can't be connected to him! He isn't the sort of guy who wants people to suffer! Tsumiki is no longer who she once was, so why should he listen to anything she has to say? She wants them to fall into despair, and is willing to do anything for it to happen. She could just be lying to get him riled up and make him question who he is! She's doing all of this to just mess with his head!

"Why is it that the only person who remembers anything has to be Tsumiki? If she just didn't go crazy then we could have some important information that could explain everything! Instead, all I get is confusing dialogue from her, a mind game, and a bunch of pain and suffering!" he yells out, pondering why no one has walked in yet. He's sure he has been yelling loud enough to gain someone's attention. He wants answers to this situation, but doesn't know if he would be able to believe anything coming out of the nurse's mouth.

Out of everyone on this island, Tsumiki is the only one who remembers their school lives. He can assume that the disease somehow caused her to remember, triggering something inside of her brain. Her behavioral patterns though doesn't match up with the others. One minute she is behaving like usual, the next a complete psychopath, and then back to normal without a problem. To say the least, she is all over the place with her emotions. He never even noticed anything wrong with her until he came into the venue. The other three though showed obvious signs of having a different conduct the minute they meet up a few days ago.

The other three infected also haven't shown any signs of recalling the past or wanting to murder anyone, except for Komaeda. Considering this is Komaeda he's thinking about, he doesn't really count. If it's for the sake of hope, he's all up for killing. Owari and Mioda on the other hand, has shown no interests or behaviors similar to Tsumiki. The two are just acting in accordance to their afflictions. If the disease caused her to remember everything they have forgotten, could her past be the reason for her sudden love of despair? Monokuma did say that the disease affects each person in completely different way. That, and the other three only has one symptom affecting their personality. Tsumiki remembering is obviously thanks to the disease, making it possible that it is her symptom. Yet, being overwhelmed with despair, the desire to murder, torture, and acting different at every moment can also count as a symptom. If that is the case, she has five symptoms rather than just the one. One the other hand her remembering could be the cause for her behavior and the other changes are all connected to that. If that's the case, then she must have been like this before they lost their memories.

"No way, that can't be it. Tsumiki being a murdering sadist in the past? I just can't accept that," he speaks, trying to come up with any other possible reason for her behavior, "But it would explain why she's acting differently from the other three. None of them have acted crazy, or have gone on and on about spreading despair. If the disease has caused her memories to return, then that would have reverted her back to her previous self. The others haven't shown any signs of remembering the past from being affected, much less wanting to kill anyone. Tsumiki is the outlier in this situation, especially considering she could have more than one symptom."

All he has been doing is thinking while attempting to ignore the pain. Trying to find some logical explanation for everything going on. It's hard enough for him to believe that a disease can cause people to change their personalities and remember the past. The theory that the sweet and timid Tsumiki he first meet could have been seduced by despair in the past sounds unbelievable to him. That before losing their memories, she wanted nothing more than to spread despair throughout the world. That all of the bad things in her past finally caught up to her and broke her into what he has seen. All of these thoughts just can't be possible, right? The seemingly never-ending pain must be screwing with his thinking, right?

"I can't believe it, I just can't," he declares, "For all I know, there can be more than one symptom accompanying someone inflicted with the disease. Monokuma only told us that they are affected by a symptom, but he didn't clarify if it is only one. For all I know, Tsumiki is just unlucky and was hit with more symptoms than the others considering of meek she is. Or because she is always around them, her case is more severe than the others in terms of symptoms. It is also possible that the others have other symptoms I just didn't notice."

All of this deducting has caused his headache to worsen, the simple drum transforming into a gigantic one. He isn't a doctor, much less a psychologist and a doctor who specializes in Monokuma illnesses. He can't be certain of anything at this point. It's entirely possible that the disease only has one symptom affecting their personalities, or it can have more than one. The damn bear didn't clarify anything to them as usual, and that is what is making this harder to comprehend. Is Tsumiki only acting out because of the disease? Is she acting like this because she remembers the past? He can't tell if she's an outlier because she remembers the past or because he's lacking more information on the sickness.

All he can do right now is think and think. Ponder on and on about what is truly happening to his friend. If this change in her character is due to the sickness, or because the sickness allowed her to remember their past. He hopes it's just the illness, he doesn't want to think that Tsumiki was like this before they all came here. Even so, it doesn't change the fact he is still tied up in a building with an insane girl who can do who knows what to him and whoever is still alive. That his body just doesn't want to cooperate with him and stop the pain from circulating any further. At any minute now Tsumiki can walk in, carrying a weapon, her apron cover in blood, a bloodied piece of cloth hanging from her hand, or even a severed body part. He can't do anything right now except think about what is going on outside of this small room. Thinking is really the one viable option for him, anything else is too far out of his reach.

After what seems like an eternity, the door finally opens up. An emotionless, swirly set of eyes meets his own. Mioda closes the door quietly behind her and then walks into the room slowly. The musician's left arm is wrapped up with bandages while her right one is resting in the pocket of her hospital gown. She proceeds to sit a few inches across from him, doing nothing more than looking at him without a single care in the world.

He's relieved to see her alive and not splashed with someone's blood. Yet it doesn't change the unnerving atmosphere now swirling inside of the room. Her eyes are just so cold and emotionless, the type belonging to an uncaring murderer. The person sitting before him isn't the same girl he's used to fooling around with while pretending that this cruel world just doesn't exist. At this very moment, she's nothing more than Tsumiki's loyal puppet. A puppet that can be given any order and follow it without a single hesitation. The fact that she has her hand in her pocket doesn't help him either. He prays that there is nothing inside of it. Nothing at all that can cause harm to his already damaged body. The pain of his stomach is now mixing with unease of what is to come, creating a feeling he has never felt in his life.

"What happened to your arm?" he asks, trying to remain calm and keep his voice steady. If this was the normal Mioda, he wouldn't have anything to be afraid of. The normal her wouldn't hurt anyone, much less torture someone. Unfortunately for him it isn't. The disease has taken away most of her normal behavior and ideologies, leaving behind nothing more than an easily manipulated individual. At any moment she could pull out a weapon and follow Tsumiki's orders to make him suffer and fall into despair. This Mioda probably wouldn't even care about what would happen to him or Saionji. The only thing that possibly matters to her right now is following orders to make her 'master' happy.

"Hiyoko cut my arm with a pair of scissors. It hurt badly and still does, it's rather annoying," she responds without any hesitation or emotion. Everything about her is as blank as a piece of paper, as if the attack sounds perfectly normal. Her voice would normally be loud and emotional over such an ordeal, along with some overreacting but it just can't be right now.

"Why did she do that? Saionji may talk like she'll do something, but I don't think she would actually be able hurt someone," he responds, praying that the small girl was alright. Saionji was probably trying to protect herself from Mioda who was ordered to do something to her. She more than likely didn't want to do it, but cared more about living than hurting someone else. In a life or death situation, the only thing that matters is getting away in one piece.

"She was running away from the venue, and Mikan-sama of course ordered me to bring her back. She managed to get all the way to the motel, but during the struggle she cut my arm. She didn't win in the end, for she is in the other room," she continues simply. She then moves her head down to look at her injured arm for a moment, pulls her hand of out her pocket and touches it lightly. She flinches from the pain and retunes her gaze back to Hinata.

"Does that mean she's still alive?" he asks with hope seeping through his words, his eyes lighting up a bit. If she managed to get all the way there, he's certain someone had to hear her. She might have been dragged back, but with that loud mouth of hers, she had to be able to wake someone up. He doubts everyone could have slept through all of that yelling and crying. Someone there has to be a light sleeper. Knowing Nanami, she was probably still awake playing her video games. If that's the case, even though Saionji is back here with him, they'll come to the rescue. They'll come and stop Tsumiki from killing anyone! It'll take some time to get prepared, but he knows they won't just let them be damned and die here!

"Yes. Like I said, she is in the other room with Mikan-sama. At the moment she is unconscious, but she should be waking up any moment now," she continues without a care.

"Unconscious? What the hell did you do too her?!" he hollers at her, the lightness in his eyes transforming into concern and anger. He was thinking she was dragged back, not knocked unconscious! Even though Mioda believes she's Tsumiki's servant, it doesn't excuse her from taking such actions against someone smaller and weaker than her!

"I strangled her so she would pass out. It made it much easier for me to take her back to Mikan-sama. I didn't try to kill Hiyoko, and I couldn't do that for Mikan-sama ordered me to bring her back in one piece. Even so, I wouldn't have killed her if I had the option to nor did I want to hurt her, but I have to follow my orders, correct?" she responds, this time looking down at the floor, as if she's ashamed of hurting Saionji.

He isn't sure how to respond to that. It seems like she doesn't want to hurt, much less kill anyone, but is following Tsumiki's orders because she believes it's the proper thing to do. She can't stop herself from believing Tsumiki and doing what she says, but it doesn't mean she fully wants to go along with it. It's like a part of her personality isn't being subdued by the disease, but because of it she can't act upon it and disobey Tsumiki.

"Sorry for yelling at you," he starts up in a gentler voice. Maybe a part of the old Mioda is still there. She didn't hurt Saionji because she wants to or because she fully believes it's the right thing, she just can't help it. She even seems ashamed for doing it. It's not like it's really her fault. The same goes for Tsumiki, she isn't doing this because she wants to, and it's because of the disease. At least he hopes that's the case, "You're just following orders. Even if you don't want to do it you feel like you just have to, right?"

"Correct," she responds while still looking away from him, "Mikan-sama is my master after all. She told me that earlier since I apparently forgot, and I'm only to follow her orders and do what she wants me to do. Even if I don't think it's the right thing to do, I must do it because she is Mikan-sama and that is all that matters."

Mikan-sama this and Mikan-sama that. All that matters is that she is freaking Mikan-sama and blah blah blah. God, is he getting sick of hearing Mioda call her that! Tsumiki has no servants, and Mioda sure as hell shouldn't be forced into her bidding because of this damn disease! If he just kept a better eye on her, then maybe Tsumiki wouldn't have been able to get to her and make her believe in that bullshit! It isn't fair for the nurse to be using someone who can't even make their own decisions anymore! To manipulate someone into hurting others is just wrong! It's even worse since she seems to still have some of her own opinions circulating around her foggy mind yet can't act upon them. All of this is just pissing him off so much, but he can't do anything at all. No matter how much he wants to get her to listen to him, Mioda just can't do it. The disease is preventing her from going against Tsumiki's orders, even if she doesn't want to do it. He wonders if she even realizes that's the reason why she can't defy Tsumiki.

Hinata redirects his vision from the girl before him to the floor. He feels just so weak and useless right now. He can't help Saionji from her impending doom. He can't find a way stop Tsumiki from killing anyone and returning to her old self. He can't do a damn thing to get Mioda to stopping thinking she belongs to Tsumiki. If he would yell at her again and again that she doesn't need to follow her orders she just wouldn't listen to him. No matter how much he would plead with her, he believes nothing will be solved. This feeling of incompetence combining with his agony is making him feel deplorable. No matter how much he wants to help the people around him, he just can't do it. The world around him wants them to suffer, and somewhere on the island Monokuma is laughing at their pain, enjoying their despair.

"Hajime?" he hears her say with a little emotion. This causes him to return his gaze to her and place his self-loathing on hold. To his surprise she has her head turned slightly, with what he believes is a small trace of concern making its way through her clouded eyes. If possible, she might have become concerned when he stopped talking.

"Yeah, what is it Ibuki?" he asks, wondering why she hasn't done anything to him yet. He isn't complaining about it, but just can't help but feel curious. Tsumiki has to have a reason in for sending her in here. Even so, it is nice to be able to talk with someone who isn't interested in seeing him suffer tremendously.

"How are you now Hajime? I mean, after what Mikan-sama did to you? I think she didn't need to go that far, but what I think really doesn't matter to her," she says to him simply. Her eyes are still swirly, but after talking to her, it still feels like the regular Mioda is there somewhere. Sure, she isn't talking in the third person and acting overly hyperactive, but it is helping him feel better somehow. It's like the chaotic world around him is turning tranquil from having someone to talk to with the hope of their friends coming to save them.

"It hurts like hell, and I feel like shit both physically and mentally. Though having you to talk to is a good way to calm down," he responds with a small chuckle and slight smile. When she first walked in, he felt nothing but doom. Now though, having her to talk with, even if she isn't her usual self, is nice. The silence from the other room is also a good sign that Tsumiki will not do anything to Saionji until she wakes up. That anxiety from before is abruptly fading away into an odd sort of serenity combined with some curiosity. If things stay like this, bathed in calmness and hope, then he's sure they'll all get out of this predicament.

"I see," she speaks lowly while getting closer to him, "It is also nice to speak with you, it's enjoyable. It's better than hurting anyone else under Mikan-sama's orders." She then lifts up his shirt lightly, but Hinata arches his back and bites down on his lip in pain at the slight movement going against his abdominal. His stomach is wrapped up tightly with a lot of bandages, and there are some blood stains scattered across the material. Before long it's going to have to be replaced "Sorry Hajime. This must have hurt a lot." After that she pulls her hand away from his shirt.

"Yeah, it did. I'm actually surprised to still be alive, I was really expecting to die. Thanks to it, I doubt I would be able to move around if I wasn't already tied up." This is one of the things that confuses him. What is the point of having him tied up if he already can't move? He's sure he can move around a little bit, but is in no shape to escape. He wouldn't be able to get very far, or fight anyone really. It hurts just laying down and having something brush against wound, he doesn't want to know how much it would hurt if he tried to walk around or even run. Tsumiki was probably being cautious when she did it, but he feels she went overboard with it.

Mioda doesn't move away from him, but just stays there and looks at him, "I'm glad you are alive Hajime. I would be sad if you died. Mikan-sama did a good job at saving you after almost killing you."

Her voice lacks any sort of emotion, but it is still a nice thing for him to hear. He would have preferred that sentence to not have included Tsumiki's name and the irony of it all, but there isn't anything he can do. No matter how much he wants her to stop calling Tsumiki that, he doubts she'll listen. Maybe she would like to stop it, but really just isn't able to do so. Even so, he feels like he should at least try and hope. That really is the only thing he can do right now, hope for the best, "Thanks, that's nice to know and I'm glad too. Though you shouldn't be calling her Mikan-sama. She doesn't own you or any of the sorts. You are just you after all."

"Why is that? Isn't she my master?" she retorts simply, not understanding the situation, "I disagree with some of her orders, but Mikan-sama is my master and no matter what I must follow her orders. That are what servants are for, to follow the orders given to them by their masters and to accomplish them orderly. At least, that is what she told me to do."

"Of course not!" he shouts at her, finally having enough with her calling Tsumiki her master without a problem, "I hate hearing you say that again and again! She doesn't own you Ibuki! She's just manipulating you into doing her dirty work and a part of you knows it! She's using your illness to make you her personal puppet! Why can't you just notice that?!" He just can't stand to see her like this, and hoping for her to break out of it just won't be enough. Being forced to attack people, being used despite not wanting to do any of it. The way she has spoken to him proves she doesn't want to go along with it, but just can't find a way to stop herself! It freaking pisses him off to see Tsumiki using her without a single remorse! The fact that he knows he can't do anything at all doesn't help either.

Mioda doesn't say anything back to him while looking away. He doubts she really can respond to his inquiry, or perhaps just doesn't want to. It's hard to read her when she's like this. Even though she doesn't want to go along with what Tsumiki is saying, the disease is making it hard for her to go against those ideals. Tsumiki knows she won't be able to break out of it, and is using it to her advantage in this twisted game of hers. She's using it to annoy him.

The room remains quiet for a while, mostly due to his sudden outburst of frustration. After having enough with the eerie silence he decides to ask her something he has been wondering for a while now, "Why did you come in here in the first place Ibuki?" He still isn't sure why Tsumiki would send her in without the order to hurt him. The only idea he is able to think of is that she wants to gets on his nerves with Mioda calling her Mikan-sama over and over. To showcase that he can't do anything to stop it, forcing him to watch his friend act like her personal servant. He is fine with conversations, but the more he talks with her the more he wants to know what is going on with the despair induced nurse. Plus the reputation of hearing Mikan-sama is getting on his nerves big time.

"Why? Mikan-sama wants me to talk with you," she responds lowly, still not looking at him. He figures that she's put off by his frustration with this situation. He didn't mean it like that, but he can't help but to feel annoyed. He hates seeing being lugged around on a pair of strings, doing actions that Tsumiki wants her to do.

"Why is that though? I thought she wants me to suffer and fall into despair, not to have a conversation with a friend," he asks her in a softer tone that before. Besides messing with his head, he just can't think of any other reason Tsumiki would send her inside.

Her body suddenly stiffens at the word despair and looks over to him. The look in her eyes turn from blank to frighteningly detached. Just that simple look causes his own body to stiffen. He has never seen her look terrifying, and his breath starts to build up in his throat.

"That is correct Hajime," and with that she returns her right hand to her pocket and pulls something out. It's a surgical knife, the blade though is different from the one Tsumiki used on him before, "Mikan-sama wanted me to speak with you until you asked me about despair."

"W-what do you mean?" he asks, fear now forcing itself out of his throat and air invading his lungs. His eyes are locked on the blade that it curved and has an unsharpened back. This isn't happening, is it? Everything was generally fine, but why is it the moment he asks about despair she starts to act like this?

"The moment you say despair, is the moment the torture will start. That is one of the orders given to me. Mikan-sama also said that everything that will happen from this point on is entirely your fault," she explains with a deadpan voice while holding the blade before him.

Did Tsumiki…really just play him like this? That this was her plan the whole entire damn time? To make him think everything was going to work out for him in the end until he said one word? That if he wouldn't have asked about despair than nothing would have happened? He could have just talked with Mioda until help arrived? He wouldn't have had to worry about getting hurt if he just kept his damn mouth shut and wasn't curious about Tsumiki's despair?!

No, no, he wouldn't have been able to stay quiet about that. One way or another he would have decided to ask. He was thinking about what she was planning for a good while now. Brooding over how she was going to try to make him join her in her twisted despair. Was that why she left him alone for so long? To leave him to his thoughts about her devious plan? To make him wonder what she would do, and who this other mysterious person is? To make her despair entice him, to make him interested in it?

The word despair, the suspense of when her plan was going to go into motion, it would have never left his mind. He would have asked one way or another simply because he wanted to know what was going to happen. Tsumiki predicted this outcome, and made sure to use to get the advantage in this game. She used it against him before he even started to think about it! She gave him hope to stay alive by saving him, but because she knew he would bring up despair, it would mean the end of him. He basically hurled away his chance at living because he decided to ask about despair rather than just clinging to his hope. If he didn't think about what Tsumiki was planning on doing, he wouldn't be in this situation now! He freaking blew it yet again!

"I don't want to do this Hajime, but my orders are orders," she begins, "I was hoping you and I could have just talked like we did back at the hospital, but I see we can't now. Even though I would prefer to talk and enjoy your company, I must do what my master wants me to do."

"Hold on a second Ibuki! You don't have to do anything! She doesn't own your life! Your life is your own, don't let Tsumiki use you for her own deeds! I know you, you don't want to hurt anyone because you are a good person!" he screams at her while fear begins to pulsate through him rapidly. Everything that is going to happen to him now is going to be entirely his own damn fault! If he…if he just didn't think about despair than nothing was going to happen! If he didn't think about what Tsumiki was up to, or ask why she sent Mioda into the room this wouldn't be happening! If he would have stuck with his hope rather than allowing himself to be drawn to despair, than everything would have turned out differently!

"Mikan-sama is my master and there is nothing I can do about it," she explains, but her hand is starting to shake. Her body instinctively doesn't want to go through with the act, but she just can't stop herself because of the sickness. It won't let her break out of this trance of manipulation until someone finally dies, or she herself becomes a corpse.

"Yes you can Ibuki! Just stop this, all of this! Fight back, you have to try!" he yells at her while moving his body slightly, pain coursing through his body immensely along with his terror. He wants her to fight against the illness, but he knows better. There is nothing that she can do. Unless Tsumiki comes in and tells her to stop, she won't be able to. Mioda is nothing more than a puppet, and no matter how much she doesn't want to go along with it, she must. That means no matter how much he pleads with her, she won't listen. She can't stop herself no matter how much he hopes her to.

"I can't. I must go through with my orders to mutilate myself," she says while lifting the blade to her left arm and dragging to lightly against her hand. The cut doesn't penetrate all of the skin, yet it still cuts a small portion. Pink blood begins to slowly drip from her hand and hit the floor as she lets out a low gasp of pain.

"Mutilate…yourself?" he breaths out lowly as he watches to the blood seep from her hand, "What the hell are you talking about Ibuki?! Why are you going to harm yourself?! I thought Tsumiki wants me to suffer, not you!" he yells as his blood begins to run cold. This isn't happening, is it? This has to be an illusion! This just can't be real, Tsumiki wants him to be in pain, not Mioda! She's her puppet, right?!

"That is what Mikan-sama wants. She wants you to suffer by watching me mutilate myself. The torture Mikan-sama wants to inflict on you right now is this, that you have to watch me injure myself and bleed out while you are unable to do anything at all," she explains to him with what he thinks is fear seeping through. She doesn't want to hurt herself, yet she can't go against her orders. She must do what Tsumiki told her because he opened his damn mouth!

"This is how she wants me to suffer?" he breaths out, unable to believe those words, "She wants me to suffer by watching you cut yourself?!" This is what Tsumiki wants? This is what she meant by making him watch his friends suffer? This is the despair she wants to inflict him with so badly? The despair that he created solely from his own stupidity of wanting to know what she was planning?! That everything that is going to happen is completely his fault!

"That is unfortunately correct, Mikan-sama wants you to suffer by watching me suffer. Mikan-sama isn't a very good master," she responds in a low tone. This time she rolls her left sleeve up and then raises the blade to the top of her arm. She then starts to make small incisions into her skin, one cut after another. She is doing her best to not cry loudly in pain, but can't help herself. She might not all be there, but she can still feel pain. As she continues to make small cuts as blood starts to flow down her arm. It starts to soak up in her bandages, but also falls to the floor making small, bright pink dots.

"Stop! Stop it damn it!" he yells furiously at her, "You don't need to do this! If you do this you may end up killing yourself!" He knows that everything he says will just go on deft ears. He knows that she can't stop herself. When one is inflicted with the Despair Disease, they act in accordance with their infliction. She is gullible, and believes she must follow all of Tsumiki's orders because she is her servant. As such, she must follow her orders even if she doesn't want to do so. She must mutilate herself because she believes that she must. The disease won't let her go against it, and Tsumiki is using it all towards her advantage. To spread her despair.

Mioda doesn't say anything back to Hinata, she just continues to attack herself. She is covering her arm with more and more slashes. She is even starting to make some large cuts, most likely because the pain is making it hard to keep her hand steady. The blood is starting to really pile up below her now. The bandages are starting to swell up with her blood as well, as well as parts of the gown. Her simple gasps of pain are starting to turn to extremely excruciating ones. The more she strikes at her skin, the more uneven it gets because of how much pain she is in.

Hinata watches her, his iris wide in shock. He can't believe any of this is happening. Everything he sees is mortifying him, the cuts, the blood, and dear God are her cries of anguish destroying him inside. Even her clouded eyes can't mask the immense pain she is inflicting onto herself and they certainly can't hold back her tears. The look on her face is just terrifying, it's mixed with such misery and despair that it's making him feel nauseas. She's even biting down on her lip to keep her cries of pain subdued, but all it has done is leave another strike of blood.

He wants to yell at her, to try to get her to stop, but he knows it's no good. Everything before him is leaving his body numb. It's one thing to find someone dead, it's an entirely different thing to watch someone maim themselves. He just watches, completely horrified. Tears are running down his face as he is unable to look away from her. Blood continues to seep downwards and every time he hears it go splat against the floor he thinks his heart is going to stop. This is all too much for him to watch, to hear, everything! He just wants it to end!

He desperately tries to move his body, but he feels nothing but pain. Even so he continues to try to move, to find some way to stop her, to save her. This pain she's inflicting onto herself is all his fault! He caused this to happen, so it's only far for him to suffer! If only…if only he kept quiet about this! If only he didn't allow Tsumiki's despair to entice him into mentioning it! If he…if…if…if only…if only he didn't want to know what Tsumiki's despair.

"Gahhhhhhhhhh! Just stop this Ibuki!" he finally lets out a shriek from both mental and physical anguish. This must be why Tsumiki tied him up with the rope. It isn't to prevent him from leaving, it's to prevent him stopping her! Tsumiki knows he can't escape, but made it look like it to fool him! This rope is the thing that's going to thwart him from stopping Mioda! This is what is going to make him watch her thrash in pain as she defaces her body because of him! If he could get it off, then he would be able to take the knife away from her!

She doesn't stop. Of course she doesn't. She can't. Her body is trembling as her tears are starting to mix with the blood on the floor. Her grip on the knife is almost nonexistent now, all of her slashes becoming messy and missing the intended target. Her eyes are resting on Hinata, as if she's begging him for help. He wants to, but what can he do like this? He dreadfully tries to move, to stand, to do anything to get his body going. It doesn't listen to his entreats. The only thing it generates is more and more pain that he fully deserves.

"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it all!" he cries out as he continues to move his hands around, trying to see if Tsumiki didn't tie the rope well. If he can at least get his hands free than he can get the knife off of her! He has to do something! He needs to stop what he caused somehow! He also tries to move his upward, pushing his body to his limits and succeeds somewhat.

Then he hears another agonizing scream. That one belongs to Saionji he clarifies. He momentarily freezes as the shriek echoes through his body. Saionji must have woken up. Tsumiki must be torturing her, playing mind games, stabbing her, mutilating her, trying to saw something off, anything. She is doing anything and everything that can, isn't she? The only thing he is able to do is listen to her violent screams. He can tell she's saying something, but he can't decode anything. His body can only hear and see agony, despair. That's the only thing floating around. The despair Tsumiki so desperately wants him to feel.

"I…I…I have to do something!" he screams out as the pain thrashes through his body and sends him down once more. His eyes go back to Mioda once more as he continues to hear Saionji's cries mixing with Tsumiki's laughter. Her left arm is filled with cuts, some big, some small, and some that look nonexistent. It seems that some of her slashes didn't even break her skin. That doesn't change the fact her arm and clothes are bloody. The floor has stains everywhere. Her face is frightening. She's in anguish, suffering, and the feeling of despair coursing violently through her body. The difference between her and Tsumiki though is obvious. Mioda is in no way enjoying her misery. Her hand is shaking horribly from her the pain, and looks like she is going to drop the knife any second. Her eyes are swirling around with anything and everything that connects to pain. It looks like she wants to speak, but is unable to.

"This isn't right…this shouldn't be happening," speaks Hinata lowly in an implausible voice as his hope starts to disappear from his body. His head is resting against the floor as he continues to cry. Everything before him is his fault. He can't do anything at all. He is absolutely useless. He caused his friend to maim herself all because he said one word. She doesn't deserve to go through this. She should be smiling, being happy, making jokes, acting stupid, and making this horrible place feel better. She should be making him feel happy, making him smile back brightly, having fun, running around happily, and replacing the sorrow in his stomach with joy.

Instead everything hurts. His body is trembling in aguish since he can't do anything at all. His head is pounding violently as his ears continue to hear Saionji crying for help. He can't do anything at all to help her either. All he can do is hear her scream stridently. He just can't do a damn thing. He feels nothing but wretchedness coursing with his distress, creating some odd feeling dancing throughout him. This feeling is unnerving, making him want to crawl into a hole and die a wretched death while taking anyone he can down with him. All he can think is how useless he is. How he can't do anything at all for the people he cares for.

"Ah, it's useless…it's all useless," he breaths out lowly to the floor. His eyes remain on Mioda, who has stopped harming herself. He can't tell if she's waiting for the pain to go away or is just to broken to go on any further. He feels nothing but anguish in his belly, but at least this gives him something to be glad about. Maybe Komaeda is right, hope may only come up from despair. If drowning himself in despair can save someone else, he's fine with that. After all, it's the only thing he can do right now. He can't do anything of true value, maybe he has never been able to so that.

It's something even a person as useless as him can do. Even a person who can't protect the people he has come to care for can do that. A person who is unable to stop one girl from killing anyone and forcing despair onto them. A person who is unable to get a small girl out alive while sacrificing his own body. A person who is unable to stop a girl he might even love from mutilating herself in the name of despair. Ah, it's useless…it's all useless for someone as unskilled and useless as him.

And that's it! Wow is this chapter long! I thought I would barely hit 6,000 and here it is over 8,000! I hoped you enjoyed the chapter, even though I'm sure the characters aren't enjoying themselves. Well, everyone else expect Tsumiki. I'm iffy on parts here and there, but I think it came out alright. As usual please review so I can read what your thoughts are!