I wish that you would notice me

Yet your eyes always pass over my head

You never look my way

Are you aware that that crushes my heart?

When you smile I smile

When you laugh I laugh

I share your sadness, I know when you cry

Notice me already...

x x x

A sigh escapes your parted lips as you slip the white envelope into his locker. How long have you been doing this again? You tried to recall the number of days you wrote a letter to him, always leaving it where he would notice it.

Kise Ryouta, the heart throb of Kaijo High School. You were aware that he had many fans, yes, but you situation was much much different from those other girls. To put it simply, you were his girlfriend.

You had never wanted it to happen, yet for some reason, it did. A month ago, Kise had asked you to become his fake girlfriend to decrease the amount of girls targeting him. You were popular, quite similar to Kise actually; no one would suspect that the two of you going out was an act. And it was quite true- The two of you got along well, and looked like a couple to the public eye. But along with Kise's proposal, he had a condition.

"If you fall in love with me, we're breaking up."

You had accepted his proposal, but you felt bad for lying to him. You had actually been in love with the blond ever since middle school, and now that you two were 'going out', you only fell for him more.

The feelings that you held back were always written down on a piece of white paper, and every day, after school ended and everyone was gone, the letter would be slipped into the locker.

It was your secret that you didn't want anyone else to find out. A sigh escapes you parted lips as you run a finger over his locker, before you turn and head out of the school into the snow swirling outside.

Your greatest wish was to get him to notice you, yet was it really possible? No one else noticed it, but he never truly acknowledged your presence- the '-cchi' was never added to the end of your name. And as much as it pained you, you endured it, knowing that if you didn't 'go out' with him, you would only be forgotten, like a voice lost in the wind.

x x x

I wish that you would notice me

Seeing you always brightens up my day

Did I ever mention how much I loved your eyes?

They sparkle like the sunlight, so warm, so friendly

Shining light upon everything that you see

Yet your eyes never meet mine, do they?

Notice me already...

x x x

To a normal person, the word 'home' meant comfort. A place filled with love, warmth, and joy.

To you, the word 'home' meant hell.

You take in a deep, shaky breath as you stand in front of the door to the place you called home. You open the door as silently as possible, hoping not to alert anybody of your presence.

You weren't so lucky.

"You finally got home, did you?" A scornful voice fills you ears, and you wince as you hear a bottle shatter.

The man who you called your 'father' was truly a wonderful actor. He had somehow managed to get your mother to fall in love with him, marry him, and bear his child. Yet from the start, he was only after her money. Your mother died, and you were left alone.

The man approached you, backing you up against a wall.

"I thought I told you to get home earlier today, didn't I?" He said, his voice dangerously low.

You feel your heart rate speed up as you brought the broken bottle up to your neck, and he leaned in. His breath smelled of alcohol and cigarettes.

You feel a sharp pain in your shoulder, and you cry out as the man pierced your sensitive flesh with the sharp end of the glass. Gasping, you slide down the wall, tears forming in your eyes.

"I'll let you off this time. Next time you disobey me, you won't be so lucky."

x x x

I wish that you would notice me

Your laughter is truly music

It makes me want to smile and laugh along with you

Have you ever realized that I never truly smiled

Do you ever see the pain that I hide?

Notice me already...

x x x

The following day, you got to school earlier than usual, and headed straight for the infirmary. As always, it was empty.

A small sigh leaves your lips as you grab some disinfectant and bandages, before slipping off your shirt and inspecting the wound from yesterday.

It had become almost like a routine; you would get injured, try to survive a night of pain, before going to school early the next day in order to treat your wounds. There was no first aid at your house- all of the cabinets were filled with bottles of wine, cigarettes, and some food.

You wince as you carefully disinfect your wound, doing your best not to cry out from pain. It was amazing that no one has discovered you situation yet, and you planned to keep up the act. You didn't want pity; you wanted to be seen as someone who was strong. Bruises were covered with make up, scars were covered with clothes. And the mental pain you felt was disguised by a fake smile.

When you finished bandaging your wound, you got up and left the room. In the bathroom, you washed your face, erasing any signs of the tears that had leaked out from your eyes the day before. Then you head on over to your classroom, sitting down in your seat, acting as if nothing had happened.

It really has almost become a routine.

The door opens, and in strolls Kise Ryouta. Your boyfriend. You smile at him, giving him a small wave.

Do you notice that my smile isn't real?

"Good morning, Ryouta."

Do you notice the pain I hide?

"Good morning, (First Name)-chan~!" Kise grins and wraps you in a hug.

Because I know that this is all an act.

You hug him back, your arms crawling up the blond boy's back.

But even if it is for a bit, I want to escape reality.