A/N: This was a dream I had a few days after the season ended and I wanted to make it a shot. I started it a few months ago but I couldn't bring myself to finish it, until my muse gave me the inspiration last week and here I am. I'm a little nervous of publishing this, even through it's not my first story, this is the first one I write in English (I speak Spanish btw) so all the mistakes you might read are mine. Feedback, reviews, messages is always appreciated but pleaaase be good with me.
Happy ONCE day!
Enjoy!
"Sometimes you have to go through the worst in order to get the best."
"I'm sorry, Regina." Regina could felt her heart squeezing inside her as she heard those soft words. She fought back the wave of nauseas as everything seems to hit her all at once. Her head swam dizzily and her vision blurred because of the tears that formed in her eyes, but she wasn't going to cry; she wasn't going to cry, not when all the eyes of the diner were on her, she wasn´t going to humiliated herself that way. She felt so dizzy, she was about to throw up or pass out in any moment.
Robin stretched his arm to touch her but she stopped him before he had a chance. "Don´t." she tried to sound firm but her voice betrayed her and sounded like a broken whisper. She needed to get away from there. She needed to get away from him.
Regina left the diner faster than a ray. She desperately walked down the street and she heard someone on the distance, probably Robin, repeating what sounded like her name. But she wasn´t sure, she couldn't hear clear, the sound was distorted. Everything was distorted. She kept walking fast before she could fall apart. She needed to get out of there; she couldn't handle it. Any of it.
He had left her. He had chosen Marian and forgotten about her and what they had. He left her alone and holding a broken heart. It had been two days since Marian came back. Two long and horrible days. Regina was really scared and anxious of what might happen. That night in the dinner, when Marian came back, she saw Robin's face glowed with such happiness, just as she was when Daniel was back. He then had a moment of struggle and told her how conflicted he was and that he needed a time to think and to make up his mind about the fact that his wife was alive.
For a moment she had thought, she had believed he would choose her, that what they had meant something to him, but was she really naïve enough to believe such thing? Of course he would chose Marian, why wouldn't him? She was the mother of his child, she was his wife, his love, he had told Regina he would have walked thought hell to be with Marian again, and so now that she was there why wouldn´t he chose her? Because they were soul mates? Because they were destine to be together? Because they shared some happy moments and they trusted each other? No. The woman was his True Love, Marian and Robin shared a live together, a child together. And what did they have? Some pixie dust, a lion tattoo and a fairy saying they were meant to each other? That wasn't anything compare to them.
She couldn't really blame him; she would have done the same if things were different, if Daniel was the one who came back and not Marian.
She couldn't blame Emma either. She didn't know what she was doing, who she was bringing back. She didn't think the consequences of her acts, but it wasn't her fault, she just wanted to do the right thing because she was the savior and she needed to save everyone on her power.
In fact, if there was one person she would blame for this that would be her. She would blame herself. It was her fault, she knew she shouldn't have opened up to love again, last time she did she ended up with a broken heart, blind of anger and casting a curse who destroyed everyone's happiness. She knew she was rushing thing with Robin, that everything was happening really fast between them, but she couldn't help it but fall for him. It had been too long since she had someone and Robin seems genuine and honest and she thought what he had told her, the promises he had made were real, that he wouldn't hurt her, that he cared for her and that he was going to be there for her. Those thing felt real, so she fall for him, she opened up, because she was just too tired to built the walls and shut everyone out, she was tired of being miserable and at that time she was even more miserable because her son wasn't with her, Henry didn't even knew who she was. But Robin was there, so she let him in and showed her soul to him and gave it to him and now he was gone, living his happy ending with his wife and son.
She felt some water drops hitting her face and looked up to see the sky black and raining. The cold wind hit hard on her face as she continued to walk. She didn't know where she was going; she just walked trying to clear her mind.
Everything had happened so fast, one moment she was sitting on the floor of her office having a nice, romantic dinner with her ´soul mate´, thinking that all the bad thing had ended, that after this long path of redemption she had finally deserve being happy, and then things tore apart, the world turned upside down.
She wasn't a villain anymore, right? She tried to made things up for everything she'd done; she redeem herself; she changed, she stopped being evil. And for what? What good did it? For things to being ripped from her again? For continue to being miserable? She had believed, just like a little, innocent child, that the world wasn't so bad, that this redemption path would have lead her to her happy ending, to love and family and acceptance, but she was far too grown to know better than that. Of course she deserved all the bad things that happen to her. She was the Evil Queen.
She stopped walking when she found herself outside a building she so well knew. Snow's building. Why she was there, she didn't know, or at least she didn't want to know.
Regina got inside without hesitation before she could regret it. Quickly she went upstairs and reached Snow's front door.
Should she knock? Was she really going to Snow's place to find comfort in the young woman? What could Snow do about how she felt at that moment? Grab her hand and tell her that everything is going to be alright, that no matter what there's going to be people who love her and accept her for who she is? She didn't think anyone could love her, she didn't felt it that way. Not even her own son could do it, he had went living with Emma again and left her alone when she most needed him, so if he couldn't love her, and if Robin, who was her "soul mate" couldn't love her either, who would take that risk? Maybe the same woman she was trying to find comfort with was the one who would gladly listen to her, accept her and make her part of her family.
She knocked and waited. Maybe, she could be happy with the Charming. They had accepted her already, but two days had pass and no one looked out for her, not Henry, not Emma, not Snow, not Charming. Nobody checked on her. They had told her that they were a family, and aren't families supposed to care for each other? Well, perhaps they wanted to give her some time and they didn't want to bother her, maybe that's why they never called her.
She knocked again hoping to find Snow's big, warm smile on the other side but Snow never opened the door, and she waited and waited but no one came out. She didn't even notice the tears that formed behind her eyes. She rested her back against the door and looked up at the ceiling while the tears started streaming down her face.
Some people aren't meant to be happy and she was one of them. She felt like a hypocrite allowing herself such thing as love. She knew love was weakness, her mother always told her that. Why, Regina, why did you fall for him?
She started shaking and she let herself shrink to the floor trying to understand. She lifted her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. This was too much for her to handle. Now she really felt she didn't have anyone there for her. She was such a fool for believing she could be happy.
After what had seems hours, she heard the front door being opened and people getting inside the building. She couldn't tell who they were but she had an idea. With the strength she had left she got up from the floor at tried to compost herself.
"We have to find her!" She heard Henry saying. "What if something bad had happen to her?!"
"I know, Henry, but right now we need to rest for a while, okay?" Emma told him in a soft tone. "We've been looking for her for hours and we can't continue to look for her with this storm, Neal is too young, he might her sick."
It warmed her heart hearing her son so worry for her. She was wrong then. He still cared for her; she just couldn't realize it before.
"Don't worry, sweetheart, we will find her." Snow told him.
"No. You don't understand! We need to find her now! She needs us!" Henry shouted to them and run upstairs.
Regina pressed her lips together waiting for them. She was so, so wrong. They were looking for her. They did care for her, just like Charming had told her, they were family and family is always for each other.
Henry reached the second floor with a worry face and stopped suddenly when he saw her. She stood there awkwardly, mentally scolding herself for looking so vulnerable and broken. She was all wet and she was pretty sure her eyes were red reveling that she had cried for a long time. He gave her a big smile while running to her and hugged her really tightly. She was shocked at first but then she hugged him back with all her strength. Her son really loved her and cared for her, why have she believed otherwise? He had always cared for her and loved her when no one else did.
"I was really worried for you." He whispered still wrapping his arms around her. "Don't you ever do that again."
She smiled realizing how much he looked like her at that time. She could hear herself saying that. They pulled apart and he beamed up at her. She saw the Charming standing some meters from them; they all were watching at the two Mills.
Snow approached her. "It seems like if you were waiting for us."
Regina cleared her throat and straightened her back. "I was." She said in a small voice looking down.
Snow stretched her arm and gently touched her shoulder. Regina lifted her chin and looked up at her. They shared gazes and Regina saw the worry in Snow's green eyes, but they quickly softened and warmed up, full of comfort that made Regina's heart squeeze inside her. She bitted her lips trying to avoid but failing on the tears forming in her eyes. She had thought she didn't have any tear left, but her vision blurred anyway. She felt so overwhelmed. The younger woman gave her a tight, little smile. "Why don't we all go inside to get something warm? It's freezing out here and you're all wet, you might get sick."
"Okay, mom." Regina smirked. The raven woman smiled again and they all got into the warm, little apartment.
Regina was sitting on a chair in the kitchen table with Charming in front of her with Neal on his arms and Emma and Henry on her left side. There was an awkward moment of silence while Snow prepared black coffee for her and hot cocoa with cinnamon for the others. There was a tension in the air she could feel. Emma had barely looked at her, in fact, she looked everywhere but her. Regina knew the blonde was feeling guilty, she could tell it by the look on her face, like a little girl who broke her mother's jar and was expecting to be somehow punished. She wouldn't do it, of course. The person who she used to be wouldn't give it a second thought and would have tried to kill the woman next to her, but the person who she was now was so far grown up and so much better, not only for Henry, but herself too. She liked the person she was and how far she had come.
Snow brought the cups to the table and handled one to each one of them; she accepted the coffee with such enthusiasm, she needed to feel the warmth of it. Snow took the seat in her right side and gave her a small smile. Regina smiled back at her and they started drinking.
"Henry, why don´t you go to your bedroom so your mom can have a talk with us?" Emma said when Henry finished his cup moments later.
"I'm not leaving her." Henry said with a determination they all know who he got from.
"Honey," Regina took his hand on hers making him ripped his eyes from his blonde mom and look at her. She looked him right in the eyes and squeezed his hand with a small smile encouraging him to go. "It's okay."
Henry hesitated but he finally gave in. He got up from the table and mumbled something unrecognizable in Emma's ear. The blonde nodded and seconds later he was gone upstairs. The younger woman looked at her with that guilty face again but she couldn't hold her gaze for more than three seconds. Regina wanted to ask what Henry had said to her, but clearly it was none of her concern.
"Look, Regina," Emma said closing her eyes and bringing her hands to her hair. "I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't know who I was bringing back, and I clearly didn't know she was Robin's wife. I'm sorry to ruin your happiness… that was never my intention."
"It's okay," She answered simply. "You already told me this in the diner the other day. You don't need to apologize again."
"I know, but I still have this need to do something for you, to make it up. I know I'm a mess and I´m sorry, but if there's anything I can do, I will do it."
"Really, it's okay. You don't have to do anything." She smiled sympathetically trying to reassure her that really it was okay.
Emma whispered a simple "okay." before she looked down again.
Regina knew that other woman was feeling so guilty inside and it would haunt the blonde forever unless she did something that could make up her mistake. Emma had told her that she wouldn't apologized for saving a life, and she wasn't, she was apologizing for destroying her happy ending, her second chance. Of course it wasn´t okay, but it wasn't Emma's fault, and regardless of anything, there was nothing she could do about it.
"Well, I can give the man a punch in the head if you want," the blonde said like if she was reading her mind.
"Emma!" Snow exclaimed from behind her cup.
"I won´t stop you." Regina smirked, Emma jerked her head up at that and they exchanged a mischievous glance.
"Regina!" Snow interfered again laying her cup on the table. "No! It's not okay to punch someone in the head, you both know that."
"It is when they broke a woman's heart." Regina laid her cup in the table too and looked at the younger woman challenging her.
"She has a point there." Charming agreed.
"Charming!" Snow hit him in the arm with the back of her hand "Don´t defend her."
"Ouch!" He exclaimed getting away from her with Neal still firmed on his arms.
"Wow, hold on" Emma said. "It's not okay for me to punch Robin's head because he's an idiot but it is okay for you to hit my dad because he disagrees with you?"
"Yes!" The raven hair woman answered with a smile.
"Ah, I now see how it's works." Regina commented. "Does she always hit you, Charming?"
"All the time," He said looking at Snow. "I'm a beaten man."
"Charming!" Snow exclaimed again. "That's not true!"
"Oh, it totally is!" Emma teased with a little smirk. "Isn't your dad a beaten man, buddy?" She asked with an infant voice to the baby in Charming's arm and started doing funny faces to her little brother.
Snow look amazed at the two blondes and her lips curved up forming a little smile.
"You know I'm joking, my love." Charming said approaching her again and steal a chat kiss from the raven woman. She smiled at him, stretched her arm to grab his collar shirt and pulled him into her with baby Neal between them. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder and pressed a firm kiss on his lips. They quickly deepened it as they move like one, as if they were doing it for years, they knew the other all too well.
"Ew!" Emma complained looking everywhere but them. "We are still here."
The couple pulled apart giggling like two in love teenagers and looked at the women in front of them.
"Gross." The blonde whispered still not looking at her parents.
"What wouldn't I give for another sleeping course." Regina made a grossed face imitating Emma's actions.
"No, you wouldn't, because you love us." Snow said.
Regina snorted as Snow putted her arms around her. Regina was shocked by this kind of affection and the other two looked at them amused. "I do." She whispered.
Wait.
Did she just say that?
Yes, she did love the Charmings, all and each one of them, but she was completely sure she would never admit it in front of anyone, less alone in front of the Charmings themselves. She was shocked at her own worlds; but somehow it warmed her heart, which surprised her the most.
Snow beamed at her at hugged her, giving her the kind of affection she needed. "We love you too," she said into her ear. Regina hesitated at first but finally gave into the embrace wrapping her arms around the younger woman.
That was the first time they hugged since Snow was a child, when she comforted the princess for her recently loss of her father. Snow was so devastated at that time and she hugged her and cried with her; she used to said she was only pretending, but deep down she knew she wasn't, even though she hated the princess and send a huntsman to kill her, Regina had felt sorry for her at that time; she had saw her like the child whose life she had saved all those years ago, not the child who ruined her life, so she hugged her for the last time.
That was until now.
Now they were hugging and holding each other as if their past never existed; as if they were still a mother and a daughter; as if all the hatred was gone and was replaced by love. They hold each other for little while, completely forgotten about the other two eyes looking at them.
That embrace mean more than any world could ever mean. That embrace was their way of a silence apology. They were apologizing and forgiving themselves without worlds, but with that embrace. They were letting their past go, they were living the present and building a future.
Regina dried the few tears that escaped from her eyes, she hadn't realized she was crying until then, when they tore apart. She looked up at Snow and saw that she was crying too. She put her hand on the table without knowing what to do with them. She had showed at moment of weakness in front of them.
No.
No. Love isn't weakness. Love is strength.
Her love for the Charming's gave her the strength she needed to move on.
She haven't shown a moment of weakness, she have shown a moment of strength. The strength she needed to apologize; strength to forgive; strength to accept; strength to let go.
Snow gave her a small smile and grabbed her hand over the table.
"You don´t have to go through this alone, you know that right?" She whispered.
Regina felt another wave of tear treating to fall again. She nodded and looked down.
She suddenly felt another hand over hers and looked up to see Emma with her arm stretched and grabbing her hand and Snow's "We are here for you; no matter what."
She bitted her lips trying really hard to not cry, but she felt her cheeks wet. Regina nodded frantically with her head again crying already.
One more hand was putted over theirs; this time was Charming who was widely smiling at her. "We are a family and families always take care of each other."
She looked at the family in front of her; all of them looking back at her with a smile on their faces; all of them having that charming look on their eyes.
She had never felt this good in her life before. She was part of a family, finally after all these years she had a family, she had people who she could count on and trust in them. Yes, she had a family with Henry, Henry was her family and she couldn't ask for more but right then she felt so much accepted and loved. She was part of this family. They had being able to put all their difference aside, they did that and now
"Thank you." She smiled sympathetically.
They stayed like that for a little while. Looking at each other and smiling a little bit.
Regina heard the sound of footsteps on the staircase and looked up to see Henry looking amazed at them.
"What? Don't tell me you are the four fantastic, now." Henry said on the top of the stairs as he descended. Regina stared at him and suddenly she started giggling which quickly turned into a non-stop laugh, a real laugh since everything that had happened.
Snow exchanged looks with her husband and daughter who were amazed to hear that sound and they all cracked up too, and just like that, after all the tears, the broken hearts, the broken promises, the bonds and heals, and after all the things that happened between them, they were laughing all together like a family, a real family.
Life is not about time; it's about the moments, moments that ripped you out a smile or a tear, moments that make you go back to the past and realized that even after all the bad things that happened to you there's something that give you the strength to live in the present and fight for the future. It's when you understand that, even when life had hitting you hard so many times, there is a moment that makes everything worth it.
And this moment was one of those uncountable moments that make all her past, all the things that she has went through, worth living; because in this exact moment, she was truly happy and grateful for having this wonderful and amazing people in her life.
She could see it now; she could see it now in this apartment, in this kitchen's table, surrounded by these people, this family, her family. "Happy endings aren't always what we think they would be" Snow had said once. She could see that this family who love her dearly and care so much for her, a family that would do everything in their power to give her the happiness she deserved, to make her feel wanted and loved and accepted, a family who forgave all the mistakes she had made, who gave her a second chance for more than just one time. This family who was her family, believed in her, they loved and care for her. This family was her happy ending, and this place was her home.
Hope you liked it! Any thoughts?
Love, Dami.