Well… don't sue me. Luffy is hard to write

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Chapter 1

Luffy was enjoying the new island they stop to. He forgot the name of it, but they wasn't important. The people were tolerate of pirates and there were no marines. So he didn't have to hide, instead he could explore the whole island. And the best part of it all, the meat was awesome! Not as awesome as Sanji's but still… it's good. He walked through the crowded shopping distracted, watching the different people and stores.

"Wait a minute Luffy. I'm going to check out this book store." Chopper said, standing in front of an old dusty store that was titled 'John's Book'.

"Okay." Luffy said, wondering what's so great about books.

Chopper went inside the store as Luffy debated whether to follow him, wait for him or keep going since when it comes to books Chopper could spend hours at a time in a book. He decided he was going to keep exploring.

It was decided all in 5 seconds.

He started to walk away from the book store intent on making his way back to the food courts where he ate all those delicious meat when a pained scream caught his attention. Turing around quickly, he spotted a pregnant woman on her knees, clutching her stomach tightly. There was water running down her legs, making a puddle. People started crowding around her, trying to help. Luffy didn't really know what was going on but that woman was in pain and she needed a doctor.

She needed Chopper.

"CHOPPER!"

Some people started at the loud scream and others glared at him, but he was oblivious. There was another high wail of pain as he heard Chopper's hooves coming towards him.

"What is it Luffy?" Chopper asked when he appeared in front of him.

"Someone needs your help." The captain said as he pointed towards the woman.

That was all he needed to say as Chopper went into doctor mode and made his way outside towards his patient. "You're going to be okay." Chopper said to the pregnant woman who was breathing hard. "I'm a doctor." He said with a soft smile to put her at ease.

"Why is that raccoon dog by her?" someone asked.

"I'm a reindeer!" the doctor snapped before sighing. "Anyway can someone please get me some blankets and towels as well as some hot water?"

At first no one reacted until the woman let out another loud wail.

"I got the towels." One guy said.

"I got the blankets." A woman said running off.

"I guess I'll get the water." Another one said.

They all went to do their duties.

"How far apart are the contractions?" Chopper asked the woman as he put his cool hooves on her forehead.

"Um… 7 minutes apart… I think." She panted.

"And how long have you've been pain?" he asked.

"Since… this morning. I thought… it was false labor since I'm two weeks early." Her voice strained but she did her best to answer the questions.

'Not a long labor then. This must not be her first child.' Chopper thought. "Where's your husband?"

"Away… he's a fisherman." Another contraction hit her, making her scream out.

"Ne, Chopper what's wrong with her?" Luffy asked while picking his nose.

"She's having a baby." The reindeer answered distractedly. He kinda forgot that Luffy was here.

"How?" the captain asked as the town's people came back with the supplies.

"I'll tell you later." Chopper promised as he took the blankets and spread them in a make shift bed. "Can you put her on that Luffy?" the doctor asked.

"Sure!" With a grin, he picked her up and dumped her none too gently on the blankets.

Chopper winced. He should've expected that.

She grunted lightly, but that pain was nothing compare to the labor she was going through. Chopper placed a towel around her thighs so that her private area was covered. "Can you please spread your legs?"

She did without the slightest hesitation.

And some men promptly fainted as others looked green in the face.

Luffy on the other hand was stared unapologetic with curiosity. It wasn't lust in his eyes. Just very avid interest.

"Hmm… you haven't fully dilated yet. So don't push yet. I'll let you know when. Right now just pant." Chopper said trying to give her a reassuring smile.

The woman moaned. "I… want him… OUT!" The last word ended in a scream as another contraction hit.

"What are you doing down there Chopper?" Luffy asked.

"To make sure there are no problems before the baby comes." He answered still concentrated on his job.

"But what does that have to do with looking down there?" he persisted.

"The baby's coming from here."

Luffy's eyes widened. "FROM THERE?! HOW DID IT GET IN THERE?" he yelled with a horrified look.

"I'll tell you later." Chopper promised him

The promise settled him down for now. But Luffy has the attention span of a squirrel and the patience of one. So Chopper's annoyance couldn't be blame when 30 minutes later Luffy kept asking was the baby here yet. He always answered no, but it was ridiculous. Now Chopper was praying that the baby would hurry up and come as well with the mother.

"Is it here yet?" Luffy asked.

"NO! The baby will get here when it gets here!" the reindeer snapped before looking down. Finally. She dilated all the way. He could see some of the baby's head. Washing his hands in the water, he started to prepare. "Okay start pushing."

There was no hesitation as she started pushing, yelling at the top of her lungs.

Luffy blinked and move closer.

"Stop." The doctor said.

She laid back down on the blankets, panting like a dog.

"Okay push again."

The woman started yelling again as she pushed. The baby was half way out.

"Alright, one more. The baby's was half way out. And what an adorable one at that."

The woman gave a tired smile at the reindeer sentence before giving another mighty push that she didn't know she was capable of and the baby slipped out and into Chopper's hooves. The woman collapsed with a moan, breathing hard.

Chopper hurried and wiped the baby's nose and mouth and the little fella started crying, letting the word know of its birth.

"What… is it?" the woman panted.

"It's a boy. Healthy though a little underweight." He answered, cutting the umbilical cord with his scissors from his medical bag.

"Let me hold… him." She said, holding out her arms that was trembling.

He placed her son in her arms as the town's people started cheering.

"Way to go little raccoon dog!"

"I'm a reindeer!" Chopper snapped with a vain popping from his head.

"What's your name doctor?" the woman asked.

"My name is Tony Tony Chopper." He answered with a shy smile.

"Tony huh?" she murmured. "Do you like that name?" she asked looking down at her baby which was sucking away at her nipple. The baby was paying no mind. "Tony it is. In honor of the doctor who delivered you." She said giving the reindeer a bright, but tired smile.

"So you think that'll make me happy bastard?" Chopper asked blushing as he smiled.

The woman chuckled at his antics. A little bit later an emergency team came on the scene to pick up the woman and the child for the hospital. "Thank you doctor Chopper." She said before the doors closed and they rode off.

"Hey Chopper…" Luffy began startling the reindeer.

He forgot that he was here.

"Having a baby is like getting a new nakama right?"

The doctor froze. "Not exactly Luffy." He answered quickly before his captain could get any ideas. But it was too late.

"But why not?" he asked.

"Because it's more complicated than that."

Luffy blinked, started picking his nose then shrugged. That means he didn't understand a word of what Chopper just said. Besides it was too late. The idea already took root.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

It was many weeks after Chopper delivered the baby, the doctor never really got around explaining to his Captain about the birds and the bees. Luffy forgot anyway with all the excitement and adventures they had on a new island. But now the Captain had nothing to do. They've been sailing for a week and half with no land in site anytime soon.

He was bored.

He already played with Chopper, Usopp and Brook and they were tired. Zoro kicked him out of the crow's nest because he was interrupting his training and Sanji latterly kicked him in the face when he tried to break in the fridge to steal food. He laid down on the deck like in a star like position. "I'm bored." He said staring up at the sky.

"Don't worry Luffy. We'll be at land soon." Nami said. She was relaxing on her beach chair with her dark blue bikini and a book. She had a nice glass of lemonade that Sanji brought to her earlier.

Luffy tried to get her to play with him earlier but she refused bluntly because she was reading. He looked at the book she had her sole attention on with a pout. What's so great about a book? As he sulked and stared, something occurred to him. On the book she was reading had a man and a pregnant woman intertwine. The memory of Chopper delivering a baby came right back in his mind, reminding him.

Now Luffy had the perfect idea.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Nami was enjoying her day so far. Yeah there were some annoying instances, but that was part of daily life on the strawhat crew. But what made it even more enjoyable was that they were right on course to a new island and she had the latest Harlequin book to read. Yep the day wasn't so bad.

A shadow appeared, blocking out her sun. Already knowing who it was she didn't even bother to look up. "I'm not playing with you." She said.

"Nami." He began voice serious.

She looked up then, wondering what's gotten her Captain so somber.

He was looking at her with that unwavering stare. "Get pregnant now." He said with a huge grin on his face.

She stared at him in shock, to stun to do anything but stare dumbly at him with her mouth hung open. She couldn't believe this. Her idiotic captain just told her to get pregnant, like she was some damn breeding horse.

He frowned, oblivious to the danger that was coming his way. "Why aren't you pregnant yet?" he asked staring at her flat stomach. She was supposed to get fat right? Or maybe it's different with every female.

"Luffy you… you… IDOIT!" She gave a punched that damn neared knocked out his brain, but it definitely laid him out. She walked away in a huff.

"OW!" He rubbed his head where the bump was forming as he heard Robin chuckles. What did he do to deserve that? It's not like he asked her to show him her panties.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

She couldn't believe that Luffy of all people asked, no demanded that she gets pregnant. Then again he probably doesn't even know what that really means. Nami stopped for a moment outside the female room. She thought back to the conversation and nodded her head. Yep, he was just being his idiotic self and someone probably put the idea into his head. It wasn't completely his fault. She continued on her into her and Robin's room to change.

Meanwhile Luffy was sulking in Chopper's office.

"Does it still hurt?" the doctor asked looking at the bump that was slowly going down, but it was still big. He put some ice on earlier to help, but of course after a few minutes Luffy took it off.

"No it's fine." He said. "But never mind that Chopper. I want to know how to get Nami pregnant."

Chopper chocked on his own spit as he stared at his Captain in shock and something akin to horror. "WHAT?! Why?!" he yelled.

"It looks fun." Luffy answered with his usually sunny smile.

Chopper looked at his Captain with his most deadpan look. Only Luffy could say something like pregnancy looks like fun after seeing it up and close. "Luffy it may look fun but it's not. A baby is a lot of work and you have to take time and dedication to raise one. You're not ready. Besides it'll be dangerous for a child on this ship." The strawhat pirate captain was picking his nose and Chopper knew he didn't hear a word he said.

"So how do I get Nami pregnant?" Luffy asked bluntly.

The little reindeer could feel a headache coming on. His captain was stubborn. Once he decides something, nothing was going to change his mind. "… You need to have intercourse with her. That's how you'll get her pregnant." Chopper finally admitted.

Luffy frowned in confusion. "What the heck is intercourse?" he asked.

"Uh… I'm not really sure." Chopper lied, trying not to look Luffy puppy dog eyes, but they were so wide and adorable.

"Please Chopper. I really need your help." He whined.

The reindeer sighed. "Just… lay down naked next to Nami. Everything else will fall into place."

Luffy nodded. "I see. Well thanks Chopper." he yelled before running off to go find his navigator.

Chopper had a bad feeling about this. He just hope Nami won't kill him and Luffy.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Nami was again relaxing, but this time in the library. She wasn't taking any chances with Luffy. Who knew what that idiot was going to do. After she checked her log pose again to make sure everything was going on track she sat back to finish her book. In three hours they should be anchoring. That'll be good since they were running low on supplies and it should distract whatever idea Luffy got in his head. Nothing should spoil this moment.

The door slammed open.

"Nami!" Luffy bellowed at the top of his lungs.

'Spoken to soon.' She thought grimly. "What?!" She snapped at him when he came in front of her.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her up without any effort at all. "Let's go have… inter…course… yeah that's word!" he said while smiling innocently.

Her jaw dropped as she stared at him in disbelief. How can he say that with such an innocent look?! He was pulling her out the library and towards the men's quarters. "Luffy wait!" she yelled trying to dig in her heels.

He paused and looked at her. "What?" he asked.

"Do you even know what intercourse is?" Nami asked, her right hand on her hip since he had her other hand.

He frowned in impatient. "Of course I do! It's where you and me lay down naked together."

Her eyes widened in shock as he started pulling her along. Where was he getting his advice? They made it to the men's quarters and thankfully no one, especially Sanji, was there.

"Alright let's start." Luffy said as he took off his shirt. He made a dash for his pants, but she stopped him quickly by grabbing his hands.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" she yelled.

"What?" he said impatient with her.

"I'm not having sex with you. That'll be wrong." She said firmly.

"We're not having sex whatever that is. We're having intercourse. Besides why is it wrong?" he asked.

She sighed and felt like bashing her head in the wall. "Intercourse and sex is the same thing Luffy. And we're friends. We don't cross that line. It'll mess up the friendship we have, and you don't want to do that do you?" she asked him gently.

He shook his head. "No."

She smiled. "Good. Now put back on your shirt and go play." She turned to leave, sighing. She was trying to calm her beating heart. She dodged a bullet there.

"Nami… I don't get it."

She could've face palm. "What part of not being friends do you not understand?" she snapped glaring.

"But how do us having sex not make us friends? I don't think it's a big deal."

A vain popped on her head. "Not a big deal?! What do you mean-" She cut off, something dawning on her. "Luffy…" she began slowly. "What exactly do you do doing sex?"

He was confused. Didn't he just explained it to her? "We lay together naked." He answered.

"Yeah, but what else do we do?"

He scratched his head and shrugged. "Isn't that it?"

Nami let out a sigh. "Never mind." She walked out.

He followed her. "But I don't get it!"

"Good." She snapped walking quickly away from the men's quarters.

"But I want to have sex you!" he yelled as Usopp came around the corner.

Nami froze as Usopp stared in horror. The sniper didn't say anything, just backed away.

"Usopp wait!" Nami called but he was already gone, probably traumatize.

Luffy grabbed her again. "Let's go." He started pulling her to the men's quarters again.

"I'm not having sex with you, especially in there!" she yelled.

He paused. "Oh… well why didn't you say so?" He pulled her into the women's quarters.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

To be continue…

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