"Kiss the Snake Good Night"

by Memory in Crimson

Tags: Animated universe, Alternative universe, implied slash.

When the Guardians and Caleb had learned that Elyon Brown was the long-lost Princess, they had debated for many hours whether to tell her, even at the risk of her not believing a single word, or keep her title secret from her, at the risk of losing her to Phobos. They chose to tell her naught, and therefore, they decided to take turns watching Elyon's movement, if the enemy should boldly kidnap her.

One day, Caleb decided to venture into the book store, where Elyon had been hired by (as she and Cornelia had described) 'the cutest, most hunkiest guy with golden locks and dark, loving eyes.' Caleb rather scorned the girls' loosely-given perspective on a man whom none knew well. Above all, he was concerned with Elyon's safety. What if this handsome man desired more of her than her book store duties? The Oracle and the Mage forbid the unsavory!

The young man stepped inside the store. He called, "Elyon!"—and waited but received no immediate reply. He called again: "Elyon! Are you here?"

"She isn't working today," replied an eerily familiar voice from the back of the store. "She and her family are out of town for the weekend."

Caleb's heart sank slightly, but he walked towards the back.

"Well, do you know where she went and when she'll return?" asked Caleb.

Hard soles marched upon the wooden floor towards the young man. The figure rounded a corner as he replied, "I've not the slightest idea of where, but she should be back by... tomorrow... eve... -ning..."

The blond man's speech mechanized upon seeing the crossed-arms Caleb. The youth cocked his head, slightly annoyed at the man's gawking. But he stared back at him long enough to realize who this 'cute, hunky' store owner was.

"You!" hissed the Rebel Leader. "I don't have to ask what you're doing here."

Cedric awoke from his reverie, but his countenance carried the same shock. Then Caleb shoved him in his chest and by his shoulders. He snarled, "Some nerve, seducing little girls—"

"Pardon you?" Cedric scowled and glanced around the shop. "Will you meet me further back?"

"Indeed! Pardon me, I haven't the trust to—"

"I have customers."

Caleb glanced askance at one of the few people who had fixed their sights on their altercation. If he had had his druthers, he would have beaten the serpentine creep into a bloodied pulp, witnesses or none. However, Yan Lin, his earthling caretaker, had warned him often about the laws of her land. He had barely escaped the capture of earthling police many times, often out of ignorance of their ways or in the line of duty for the rebellion.

"Fine," conceded Caleb, and he bowed mockingly. "After you, your Lordship."

"Humph! Sarcasm does not become you," said Cedric. He turned and marched to the back of the store, towards his office. Caleb trailed distantly behind the serpentine lord, preparing the wrestle the old sinner if he so much as bared a fang.

"Now," said Cedric with a huff, "what business have you here?"

"Other than to keep you from dragging Elyon back to your sinister Master?"

"She cannot be 'dragged' to His Majesty, she has to come on her own accord," whispered Cedric. "You know this."

"Well, you're not getting the opportunity to lure her in," hissed Caleb. "And I'm willing to set up a fight with you to settle this! Away from your precious customers."

"I don't intend that."

"What do you mean?"

Cedric glanced over Caleb's shoulder. Pulling a key from his breast pocket, he unlocked the door to his office and entered. Caleb hesitated when the lord said, "You can join me or not. But if you choose the latter, then I shall be obligated to take the Princess immediately upon her return."

Caleb glowered and growled. Against his mistrust, he entered and allowed Cedric to shut the door.

"Don't you dare lock it, though," he said.

The lord stopped himself. He unlocked the door and leaned against it.

"So I've found you out," said Caleb. "Now what should I do? Or rather, what do you plan to do with me, now that I've found you out? Gonna transform and eat me?"

"I don't intend that, either."

"Well, what do you intend?" Caleb crossed his arms.

Cedric merely lowered his head and averted his gaze. Caleb waited for the old serpent to gather his thoughts, and just when he was about to snap at him, the older man quietly replied, "Help you."

"What did you say?"

"Only a little."

"With what? What exactly did you say?"

Cedric strolled closely to Caleb, who backed away from him. But the lord passed him, turned around, and leaned against his desk. He sighed and removed his glasses.

"I take the greatest risk in betraying my superior. But he and I have arrived at... an impasse, and I feel that I can no longer be held to the same loyalty to the Prince as I once felt."

He replaced his glasses upon his face before continuing. "Young Caleb, I consent to your cause: the restoration of Metamoor and the legitimate Heir of Escanor... But my service doesn't come for free." And he began to pace slowly before Caleb.

"What do you want?" growled the youth. "No... How can I even trust you?"

"Any information is good information, Rebel Leader. You know this."

"Not after you tricked me at the sands of Torus Filney."

"I've changed since then..."

"Not to me you have."

"You don't know all the sins of Prince Phobos."

"All the more horrible they must be, if I don't know them! And reason enough to take you both out of power."

Cedric's face turned red, and a fire had been stoked in his eyes. Just as Caleb prepared himself for a fight, Cedric snarled, "So you need proof? Very well. I shall give you your damned proof!"

Then he unbuttoned his shirt and turned around, peeling it down to his lower back. Caleb's eyes widened as he gazed upon welt after welt that had turned that flawless, golden flesh into raw and red and agonizing just to gaze upon. Even some scabs had cracked and bled that day, it seemed. Caleb bit his lips together and reached out, eliciting a hiss.

Oh yeah, they're real enough, he thought.

Cedric turned and buttoned up his shirt.

"That... that… I mean… how do I know… just… hnn." The Rebel Leader was at a loss for words. Though Phobos had little respect for life in general, Cedric was his pet. He stuck closely to his Master, like a well-fed hunting hound. What-ever caused the arrogant monarch to beat him must have been serious, but on the bright side, it seemed as though that whipping had whipped some sense into Cedric.

"I'm only lucky that this is all to which he has subjected me," said Cedric, and Caleb knew that that could not be more true. "But it has shaken me enough to make me question whose side I should be on."

"And when were you planning to meet up?" asked Caleb.

"Not in Meridian. That's for damned sure."

Caleb hummed affirmingly.

"So what are you willing to do?" asked Caleb.

" 'Give,' actually... in exchange for something of equal... or greater value."

"Ha!" Caleb scoffed. He walked to and leaned against the door. "Figures. Well, what do you want?"

Cedric approached him, only to have those young green eyes warn him against getting any closer. He sighed and replied, "I am willing to divulge vital battle information to you in exchange for my choice of recompense."

"You're serious?" Caleb raised an eyebrow, but Cedric nodded. "Seriously?"

"And now that we have established contact on earth, a nice, 'safe' place to meet, I doubt that anyone should trouble us."

"But wait!" The Rebel Leader crept closer. "What is it that you want in exchange?"

Cedric smirked and leaned uncomfortably closely to Caleb, nearly closing the gap between them. He replied, "You must give yourself to me."

"How?" This looked ominous.

For a moment, Cedric smirked and then chuckled boyishly. Removing his glasses, he fluttered his eyes and asked, "Tell me, Caleb, are you... are you a virgin?"

"What? What?!" Caleb's back collided against the door in a flash. "Oh, no way. No way in the world! No way ever—No—" He chuckled nervously. "You are absolutely mad."

"I suppose that's such a rude thing to ask," said Cedric, "although I'm not very keen on virgins. Far too squeamish, most of them; I have to do all the work. But sex is the price for my information. It's that or no deal."

"Are you out of your cold-blooded mind? I am not some prostitute!"

"No one said you were. I, on the other hand, have no qualms exchanging favors."

"That's very clear!" exclaimed Caleb, rolling his eyes. "So what if I say no? What? You'll turn me in?"

"No... I won't," said the older man solemnly, and he marched towards the door and opened it for him. "I'll give you a day to decide"—he held up a silencing hand before the jabbering youth—"and when you return, what-ever your decision is, I swear upon my life that I shall not turn you in."

"No. No, I need a vow that's much harder for you to break. I need you to… How about you swear upon your mother's name?"

Cedric tensed, and his left eye twitched, giving Caleb reason to smirk.

Aaronagim, as Cedric's folk were known on Metamoor, were a poorly-understood group. They were a private lot, and many strangers who had entered their territories rarely returned. But a few useful bits of information, which lucky adventurers had discovered, floated around outside of the Aaronagim. And Caleb had learned that 1) the lords spoke of their ladies with great reverence and terror and 2) a son would therefore never break an oath under his mother's name; why, he would sooner break it under a god's name!

"I swear by the precious name of my Lady Mulga," began Lord Cedric, "I shall not turn you over to my Master."

Caleb raised an eyebrow of slight doubt, but his smirk never faded. Of course, he was not going to return to the book store, especially after that disgusting display. The pervert! He was worse than a lying snake; he had a snake in his trousers, as the earth saying went.

"Very well," he said. "It's a vow." And he departed from the store.

A day, he says, scoffed Caleb. Maybe I should go back… that is, after I grab a couple of rebels and take him by surprise here. He'll finally be out of the picture, the old serpent.

He had considered telling the girls first but quickly discarded the idea. Damn their obsessing over pretty faces! A person did not need to look like a bloodthirsty beast in order to be one. Did they not understand that appearances were not always revealing?

The young man sighed again and leaned against a brick building. The image of humble-headed Cedric returned, his violet eyes dulled by genuine shame. Caleb thought, Of course, he could have a chance for reform. I know that Vathek was not totally willing to join the Rebellion at one time—he truly had no idea of whom to trust! Poor guy, but Cedric...

Caleb shook his head and continued down the street to the Silver Dragon. He entered through the kitchen door, fetched his apron, swallowed back his pride, and stepped into the restaurant to take orders.

"So, how did it go?" asked Yan Lin at one point.

"Why did you not tell that she went out of town?" retorted Caleb.

"Perhaps she is safer outside of the influence of Phobos's forces. This world is large enough, Caleb. You must not worry so often!"

Caleb smiled. Then Yan Lin added, "Plus it isn't like she's got a tracking device. None of that GPS stuff!"

Caleb had no idea about what she was talking. Yan Lin replied, "Just get this dish out to its table, dear," and the smile returned to Caleb's face.

Perhaps I should tell her, at least, he thought, though leave it to her to probably tell the girls. At least, she's more believable than I am... Maybe, then, I shouldn't tell.

The hours in the restaurant seemed to pass faster than usual. Caleb decided that after work, he would seek out the girls and update them on the details of the next rebel plan.

"Don't even!" cried Yan Lin before her strolled too far. "The girls are spending time at the beach."

"The beach?" he exclaimed. "What about Will?" From how often the redhead complained about her mother, she at least might be home.

"Well, it's not like me to lie, but I told her mother about a 'science trip' way in advance. No permission slips needed."

"Why?"

"Oh, trust me. Will will owe me big..."

Caleb raised an eyebrow. So the little grandmother was more of a conspirator than she showed? How bold!

"See ya, Yan Lin," said Caleb, and he strolled out to the sidewalk. "I'll be down at the park getting some fresh air."

And cleaning out my thoughts.

Annotations: It's been almost 8 years since I first published this tale. Then in 2012, circumstances beyond my current comprehension led to the destruction of this and many other fanfictions I wrote.

It's been years since W. I. T. C. H. has been on the air, and I figured many fans have since moved on. But now that I have my copies again, I've updated the tale so it approaches a higher standard and uploaded it.

Disclaimer: The author, Memory in Crimson, makes no claim over Disney's creations, and the author makes no monetary gain from writing this fan fiction.