CHAPTER 7

8 o'clock sharp. A gust of hot breath. His lips caressing her neck. And then he left to take the children out for a ride. Almost an hour later, she was still unable to decide. The bed and the floor were a total mess, with discarded dresses thrown in every possible direction.

"What about this one, Lou?" she came out of her dressing room with a dark red dress. "Help me put it on."

She stood in front of the mirror holding the dress in place.

"Yes, Miss Scarlett. This will do I think."

With the dress in the capable hands of Lou, she sank into the bath tab to relax. A much needed interval for her nerves were tense and her stomach a tight knot ever since his whisper. It was going to be a very special night. It was to be their first night out after a very long time. She just had to look her best tonight. Her hands wandered around her belly. She still had a couple more pounds to lose and that was making her feel insecure. She closed her eyes and tried once more to empty her mind and calm down. But it was all in vain. That whisper. God, that whisper. All the hidden promises. Promises of a wondrous night to follow. Like the ones they shared during the long months of her pregnancy. Dark, humid nights filled with desire. Desire that brought pleasure. And more desire. And even more pleasure. If she only knew earlier on just how wonderful intimacy could be. A delicious shiver run down her spine and she sighed. A memory flashed in her mind. What was that stupid thing she had told him the day he proposed? she giggled. All a woman gets out of it is having to put up with a man's foolishness and a baby every year. And bang! The smile froze on her lips and the delicious shiver turned into a shiver. Period.

There was one thing she was good at. Numbers. And numbers never lied. When she was pregnant, it didn't occur to her. What was to happen had already happened. But now? Intimacy and marital relations equals one and one thing only. Another pregnancy. No… No… No… It was too soon, barely a week since her confinement had ended. She wanted to go out and do things and have fun and wear whatever she wanted. Not live a whole new round of torture all over again. She wasn't even sure she wanted another child. And then the shiver turned into a cold chill. Rhett! He loved children and he was crazy about Bonnie. He would definitely want another child. How was she to tell him? And tell him what? I want you, but I don't want another child? And… God, oh God! There was only one way to do that. Separate bedrooms. No… No… She couldn't imagine spending a single night without him next to her in their bed, holding her, caressing her, lulling her. All the things they shared. Their talks, his stories, their laughs. The ember of his cigar glowing in the darkness. His breath on her hair. The weight of his arms around her. His face looking at her, when she opened her eyes in the morning. Not to mention that it had been almost a whole year without a single nightmare. No… No… She couldn't let go of all these. She just couldn't. The mere thought was unbearable. Why did life have to be so complicated all the time? Now that things were finally going smoothly between them and they were having such a good time, she just wanted to enjoy it without obstacles constantly coming up. Was she asking that much? Nothing could ever be smooth and fun again after that talk. Nothing would ever be the same. No matter how hard she pressed her mind to come up with a solution, there was no way around it. She had to lose it all. To lose him. And she wasn't ready.

A while later Mammy found her sitting up in the bath tab lost in her thoughts. The water had turned cold and she was trembling.

"Miss Scarlett!" she exclaimed already pulling her by the arm to stand up. "What is you thinking staying in here for this long? You catch your death! That's what you do!" she threw a towel over her shoulder.

Noticing her distant expression, a frown appeared on her forehead.

"Come now, my lamp!" she changed her tone. "Let your old Mammy take you next to the fire. It's seven already. Mister Rhett will be here and he will scold me for letting you turn blue."

She followed her obediently to her bedroom and she remained seated while Lou was doing her hair and her makeup. And just as listlessly she stood up, had her corset tied and stepped into her modified dress. Before she had a chance to at least check herself in the mirror, a knock on the door signaled Rhett's arrival. Damn his punctuality.

Panic took over her again. Her hands turned cold and sweaty, her heartbeat accelerated to the point of leaving her out of breath. He was there and she still hadn't find a way to talk to him. The knock was repeated.

"Come in," she stammered.

And he did. Freshly shaved and trimmed. And of course impeccably dressed. And so very handsome. So very painfully handsome. As if her body and her mind hadn't been tormented enough all afternoon. His quick inspection of her attire brought a wide smile on his lips. Approval. It had a calming effect on her nerves and she smiled back.

"Are you ready, Mrs. Butler?" he drawled.

"I am," she walked towards him.

"Let's go then," he offered his arm and she placed her gloved one in the crook of his elbow. "May I say that you look marvelous tonight?"

"You may," she giggled, her spirits lifting up instantly. They were going out together and that was enough for the time being. The talk, she would think about it later.

And what a wonderful time they had! Delicious dinner, excellent red wine and plenty of dancing. Add to that more than a few glasses of champagne. For the more the night was growing small and the time to go back was coming closer, so was the time for that talk she couldn't not have approaching. And she was still as clueless as ever of how to address the matter and what to say to him. Every time the panicking feeling was threatening to overwhelm her, she ordered another glass of champagne and emptied it in the blink of an eye. Inevitably, when the time to leave did come, she couldn't tell if she was just tipsy or completely drunk. The line was too thin for her blurred mind to tell.

Rhett, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was and put a strong arm around her waist to help her walk to the carriage and climb in.

"Any particular reason why you had that much champagne tonight? If I was conceited, I would think you are nervous," he teased.

"Which you aren't?" she giggled.

"Which I most definitely am," he put a finger under her chin and lifted her face up to him. "Are you?"

"Am I what?" she puzzled.

"Are you nervous?" his voice dropped into a whisper. Again.

And his breath was burning. Again. And his eyes were burning and his touch was burning. For he was fire. And the moment his lips found hers, she was afire too. His arms were all around her and all the more he was kissing her and she couldn't breathe. She tried to push him. She had to stop him. Somehow, she had to. Now, before they'd reach the house. It would be impossible to find the courage or the will to stop him then. But his hands cupped her bosom and her whole body turned limp.

"Rhett," she breathed in an attempt to speak.

It sounded more like an invitation though and he assaulted her mouth with even more fever. If that was possible. How could more passion be possible? Yet, with Rhett it was.

And just when she was about to give up, his lips began to travel down her neck.

"Rhett, I need to tell you something," she uttered, her breath coming out in pants.

"Not now, darling," he murmured and captured her earlobe between his teeth.

"Now, Rhett, please… I need to talk to you about something."

"I know exactly what you want to talk to me about, Scarlett," he kissed the small bone at the back of her ear.

"No. No, you don't," she despaired. "Please, stop doing what you are doing and listen to me for a moment."

"But I do," he laughed softly and completely ignoring her request he set to place soft, wet kisses from her jaw, "you want to tell me that it's too soon since Bonnie was born," to her neck, "and you don't want another pregnancy, thus another child," further down to her collarbone, "which means that we shouldn't resume our marital relations," until he reached her décolleté.

A soft bite to her tender flesh and he raised his eyes to look at his wife. The sight must have been priceless. For pure shock was written all over her face, her eyes wide open and her mouth a perfectly round o.

"So, you see, I do know what you wanted to tell me," he grinned broadly.

A couple of disorientated blinks and a few hard swallows later she finally found her ability to speak.

"How did…I mean…I didn't…" she mumbled.

"You keep forgetting, Scarlett, that I know you better than you think. And definitely much better than you know yourself," he laughed. "I could tell from the moment I entered the bedroom that something was off. It didn't take me long to understand why. Before you had your vast amount of champagne, you were literally jumping every time I was touching you."

"And that's alright with you? I mean, you don't mind?" she didn't know how to feel about it just yet. Relieved that he understood her so well or frustrated given that he didn't seem to care.

"Not resuming our marital relations? Oh no, my beautiful wife," he caressed her face with his fingertips. "I do mind that very much. In fact, I believe that matter is completely out of the question. I do, however, want you to speak your mind. What do you think can be done about the little situation we have in our hands?"

Light-headed and desperate as she was, she didn't notice the teasing tone in his voice.

"Oh, Rhett," she pouted. "I was thinking about it all afternoon. I tried to find a solution, but there isn't any. There is only one thing that can work and I don't like it one bit already."

"Which is?"

"Separate bedrooms," she whispered.

Her statement met with his roaring laughter.

"Seriously, Scarlett, which century do you live in? That was our grandparents' way."

"No, it isn't," she rebutted offensively. "Look at Melly. She can't have any more children and she and…well, they aren't sleeping together for years now."

"Point well made," he smiled. "Let me rephrase then. This is the good old gentlemen's way. You have realized that you aren't married to one, haven't you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" she was beginning to lose her temper. "Gentleman or no gentleman you can't go against nature. If we sleep together, there will be another baby. Please, Rhett, try to understand. I can't go through it again. And I won't no matter what you want."

There, she had said it and there was no turning back. She had thrown him out of their bedroom. Heavy silence followed.

"You really think that I would want to put you through another pregnancy barely two months since you gave birth?" he finally spoke.

She didn't know what she had expected him to say, but it was definitely anything but that. She raised her eyes bewildered. He looked genuinely offended. And by the least offensive of her words.

"Well, not intentionally," she swallowed uneasily. "It will happen though whether you want it or not."

A faint smile reappeared on his lips and she took heart.

"Did it cross your mind even for a moment that I might know a thing or two about the matter?"

"What do you mean?" she arched one eyebrow suspiciously.

"So, Mamie Bart and the other fine ladies you used to spend your evenings with have never talked about it in your presence?" the smile grew wider.

"Talk about what? Rhett, I don't understand. I really don't."

"There are ways to prevent a pregnancy from happening, Scarlett," he stated clearly amused by her inability to put two and two together.

That she hadn't seen it coming.

"There are?" she murmured dumbfounded. "How…I mean…I can't…"

"There are two ways actually," he went on. "Would you like me to present them to you? We can then decide which one best suits our case."

She shook her head once, her eyes looking at him as wide and innocent as a child's. Ignorance was blocking out any imagination she might have acquired on intimate relations. He leaned forward, very close to her ear, and set to explain, his voice not louder than a whisper. Barely through the first sentence, she turned crimson and buried her face in her gloved hands. Good Lord! What if her mother was there to see her!

"What?" she exclaimed, curiosity quickly winning over prudishness, and she pushed the image aside. "You can do that instead of… Oh!"

"Yes, I can do that," he played along.

"And where will you…?"

"Anywhere."

"Really? And there won't be a baby this way?"

"Scarlett, please don't tell me that I should have begun this little speech from the very basics. How babies are made and so on," he was enjoying himself immensely.

"Oh, do be serious and answer my question," she patted him on the shoulder.

"No, there won't be a baby given that I do it in time. And that's the disadvantage."

"Why?"

"Because, darling," his lips caressed her skin, "it requires willpower. And when I'm in bed with you…" he sighed.

"Go on," she giggled.

"Well, it may prove difficult to maintain control. You do sweep me of my feet with you innumerous charms."

"Do I?" it was meant as a taunt, but she couldn't hide the anticipation from her voice. Did she really do that to him? To Rhett of all people?

"Yes, you vain creature, you are the only woman who does that to me."

His words brought a delicious tingling sensation at her lower abdomen. Then he kissed her again and the tingle turned into fire that spread even lower between her thighs. It had become a familiar, welcome feeling during the last year. But it would have to wait for later. They still hadn't found a solution that could actually work.

"You spoke of two ways," she breathed barely distancing herself from his body.

He exhaled sharply, somewhat irritated. "I'm glad you are intrigued by the conversation, but you have somehow turned it into a torture."

"Let's get it over and done then, shall we? Tell me," she insisted.

And he did and astounded her even more this time.

"You mean to tell me that they are out there and every man can buy them?"

"Yes."

"Where do you buy them?"

"Not in a store apparently," he chuckled.

"Why, all women should know about it," she exaggerated.

"I wouldn't go that far as to inform my acquaintances if I were you," he teased.

"Why not? We have the right to know, don't we? It is our body."

"Scarlett, I am appalled," he declared, a hand over his heart. "Remember yourself and the teachings of your childhood. The decent and Christian way is to bear a child every year."

She couldn't help but laugh with his mummery.

"Go on and joke about it all you want. But this is serious, Rhett. If only I knew…" she murmured mostly to herself.

But his ear caught it and he burst into laughter.

"It's still far from pleasurable to think about you married to Frank, I'll admit that. But, God, wouldn't it be a sight for sore eyes to see his face after such a proposal."

"You are no better yourself," she teased back. "You knew about this all along and you said nothing until now."

Her joke went amiss though. In fact, it brought the exact opposite result. His face turned dead serious and his whole body tensed in the blink of an eye.

"Do you regret having Bonnie?" he asked blankly.

"What? No, God, no!" she cried. "I love our daughter. I really do."

It was the first time she was saying it out loud –admitting she loved her, calling her their daughter- and for a few seconds he said nothing. And then with a swift move he lifted her up and sat her on his lap.

"Say it again," his voice hoarse.

"Say what again?" she puzzled. What had she said that was so important?

"For once in your life, Scarlett, just do as I ask and say it again."

"That I love Bonnie? Why, of course I do! I gave birth to her, didn't I?"

He crashed her body against his chest instead of an answer and he assaulted her lips with such vibrancy that shook her very core. And then she heard him banging the door with his hand.

"Back to the house," he told the driver, his mouth still on hers.

"And I was wondering why it was taking so long," she giggled.

He cupped her face with his hands, his black eyes burning in the semidarkness.

"So, am I sleeping in the couch tonight or not?" he smiled.

"That depends," she bit her lower lip timidly. "Do you happen to possess one of these… things?"

"As a matter of fact I do."

"Then, by all means, you may sleep in our bed," she blushed and hid her face in the crook of his neck.

"Good," he kissed her forehead.

"Rhett," she murmured.

"Yes, Scarlett."

"I'm glad you aren't a gentleman."

"Why so?" he laughed.

"I didn't want separate bedrooms," she admitted. "I've…" she swallowed uneasily. "I've missed… it."

"I've missed you too," he whispered and pulled her even closer.

Hi, everyone! I've been away for a long time! The truth is writing fanfiction has come to an end for me. I'm trying to take my experience here a step forward and write something of my own and see how it goes! :-) However, it felt wrong to leave this story unfunished! So, given that the idea about this chapter was there the whole time, I decided to write it down and post it!

It has been a wonderful journey that I would cherish for ever! Thank you all! Take care! xxx Chris