First of all: thank you guys very, very much for your reviews :) The way your support my Whouffaldi fics is AMAZING. I'm also sorry to inform you that this one is also over. The next chapter (16) will probably be the finale. I'm not 100% sure yet. Have fun reading this * grinning *:D

Chapter 15

"That was. . . something," Clara uttered, pulling the duvet up to her chin, trying very hard not to look at the Doctor lying next to her.

"Something?"

"Yeah, you know. Something." She was really looking for a better word to describe it, without sounding mean.

"Did I not pleasure you?" he asked, back in his favourite state of confusion.

"I dunno. Do natural disasters pleasure me? I don't think so."

"Are you implying that I am a lousy lover, and that John Smith was better?"

Clara finally tilted her head to look at him. His grey eyes staring back in bewilderment, it was almost comical. Had the situation not be kind of sad.

"Do we have to go over it again cause I really don't want to. Ever."

"Oh, come on, Clara, it wasn't that bad. You've been dating pudding brains for a few years, someone must have been worse."

"Well," she bit her lip, "Nope. This was definitely a new low. But it's okay, you're a Time Lord. You guys have different. . . mating rituals, right?"

"No, can't say we have." The Doctor shook his head.

Clara sighed.

"What exactly did you dislike about my lovemaking?" he asked on, now seeming absolutely curious.

"Where do you want me to start? First, that thing with your tongue. Eh-eh. Not cool. And definitely not erotic."

"Oh, my tongue was bad? How about your legs! They were everywhere!" the Doctor raised his voice.

"Yeah, well, people usually move around a bit during the act."
"Do people also kick each other in the gut?"

"Oh, you think that was bad?" Clara screamed at him, "At least I was trying to move. You were as stiff as. . ."

"As a what?" he raised his eyebrows, and Clara prayed he wasn't hoping for a compliment.

"A broomstick. It was like making love to a stiff, bony, broomstick."

"And you're way too touchy-feely, and clingy."

Clara groaned and suddenly jumped out of bed, covering her body with a bathrobe.

"There's no point talking about this, Doctor. Not with you!" she yelled at him and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Clara, come back here. That's my robe!"

Only about a minute later, the bedroom door burst open again and Clara found the Doctor still sitting on her bed.

"Doctor," she said, her voice trembling in terror.

"Oh, you've realized it wasn't your robe then."

"Doctor, the TARDIS is gone."

"What?" he stared at her, his expression gone completely blank in a matter of seconds.

"There is no TARDIS in the conservatory and if you haven't parked it somewhere else within the last hour, it was probably stolen."

"What?"

"I really don't know how I could possibly make myself clearer. TARDIS. GONE. NOT. HERE."

"WHAT?"

Clara had enough of the Doctor's disbelief, so she just grabbed his hand, completely ignoring his naked state and dragged him downstairs. When they had reached the spot where the TARDIS usually stood, the Doctor's mouth fell open.

"The TARDIS is gone!" he uttered in a low voice.

"Yeah, and that's not the only thing. Isabel isn't home."

"I thought she went for a walk with Sammy?" the Doctor's eyes didn't leave the empty corner of the conservatory.

"Then why is Sammy here," she pointed at the dog, sleeping peacefully in its bed, "and Isabel isn't?"

"I have no answer to that one," he confessed.

"But I'm afraid we do," a voice came from the kitchen. Clara turned around to see with great relief that Vastra and Jenny had returned. Both of them had a grave look on their face.

"Uh, nice," Jenny giggled when her look grazed over the Doctor's naked figure.

"Jenny. This is really not the time," Vastra scolded her in a warning tone.

"Yeah, you also shouldn't judge a book by its cover," Clara rolled her eyes.

"Could we please talk about my skills as a lover some other time and concentrate on my missing TARDIS?"

"Oh, we know where your TARDIS is and who has it. But I'm afraid this is a rather long story. You might want to get dressed before we start," Vastra informed him and let herself sink unto the couch.