"Fletch, you coming?" Valkyrie shouted up the stairs. He always took so long to get ready - obviously styling his hair to make it look like he had been dragged through a hedge backwards took dedication and skill.

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly. That kind of response meant he was going to be at least another ten minutes.

"I'll wait outside," she replied, sighing in a mixture of resignation and boredom. She was just going to have to get used to Fletcher taking longer than her to get ready.

"Boo!"

Valkyrie screamed as her boyfriend appeared in front of the door, blocking her route out. Fletcher doubled over in laughter at her expression and reaction.

"Not funny." She glared at him.

"Totally funny," he replied between gasps of breath. "So funny."

Another glare and a slight nudge in the stomach stopped Fletcher laughing.

"Now that was funny," Valkyrie said, walking off towards her car.

Fletcher pulled a sulky face before following her.

"Why do we have to go in your car?" Fletcher whined.

"So that we don't look suspicious, you idiot."

"What do you mean? I blend in perfectly."

"With that hair?" Valkyrie raised an eyebrow.

"Point taken. But it's so slow going in the car. Teleporting would be so much quicker."

"Because that wouldn't look odd at all."

"No one would notice."

"You're saying no one would notice two people appearing out of thin air in the middle of an art gallery?"

"Yes." Fletcher nodded, a deadly serious expression on his face. Valkyrie held in her laugh - he genuinely meant what he'd said.

"It's a good thing you've got a pretty face, I tell you," she remarked.

"Valkyrie! Fletcher." Skulduggery's voice got louder as he saw Valkyrie approach, then fell as he saw her boyfriend turn the corner.

Boyfriend. The very thought made him shudder. What on Earth did Val see in the boy? He didn't have Skulduggery's wit, charm or great taste in hats, so Skulduggery was at a loss to what made Fletcher so attractive. He hoped it wasn't the hair.

"Skulduggery!" Valkyrie called out, her walk turning into a run as she saw her best friend and partner in stopping crime standing by the entrance to the art gallery. Fletcher turned his already awkward walk into an even more awkward run, not wanting to be left behind.

"Way to make an entrance," Skulduggery said as Valkyrie ran into him.

"Val, why don't I ever get hugs like that?" Fletcher asked as he caught up. Valkyrie apologised and turned round to face Fletcher.

"My poor little Fletch," she said, kissing him on the cheek. He saw his opportunity and took it, kissing her on the lips.

Skulduggery cleared his throat, just about controlling the urge to gag. "If you wouldn't mind. We do have a highly secret operation to run."

Fletcher stuck a hand up in response, asking for a little more time.

"Valkyrie Cain."

"Skulduggery Pleasant," she replied, pulling away from Fletcher.

"Please stop kissing your boyfriend."

"Why, you jealous?" she said, smirking and winking.

Skulduggery grumbled something in response, vaguely resembling an agreement that Valkyrie didn't hear.

"I'm leaving," Skulduggery said to no one in particular, knowing no one was listening. Wrapping his scarf around his skull, donning his sunglasses and adjusting his hat, he was ready to start this operation with or without Valkyrie.

"Why can't we just teleport into the vault thingy?" Fletcher asked for at least the fifth time.

"Because," Skulduggery said through gritted teeth, "it will set off the alarms and then we'll get caught."

"But surely we can just fight them off? I mean, we've done that before."

"They're Cleavers, Fletch," Valkyrie said.

"Doesn't that mean they're on our side?" Fletcher raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

Skulduggery sighed. Fletcher obviously hadn't been listening at the briefing - but then that was a normal occurrence.

"They're under the orders of the Grand Mage," Skulduggery explained, restraining the urge to throttle Fletcher. "They've been told to hurt anyone who tries to steal the diamond inside the vault. We fit that category."

"But we're working for the Sanctuary, so aren't we helping the Grand Mage?"

"We're working against them for the time being," Valkyrie replied. "They're trying to protect the diamond, but we need it for something they don't know about yet."

"Oh, so we're like double agents?" Fletcher said excitedly.

Skulduggery was about to offer a sarcastic response when he noticed a Cleaver walking towards them. It hadn't seen them yet, but if they didn't move soon, they'd have one hell of a fight on their hands.

He signalled to Valkyrie and Fletcher to get them to walk into the next room, before swiftly following them.

Walking around the room, being careful not to make any noise that would attract the attention of a Cleaver, Skulduggery looked for any other route to get to the vault, but found nothing. They needed to go down that corridor.

"Keep low and quiet," Skulduggery instructed, pulling his gun out of his jacket pocket. "This could get messy."

Fletcher saluted the skeleton, and Skulduggery couldn't work out whether he was being sarcastic or not. He wished he had eyes to roll.

Creeping back out into the corridor, Skulduggery cursed as he saw the Cleaver running straight for him.

"So much for being quiet," he mumbled, firing a shot at the Cleaver. Unfazed, the Cleaver kept walking.

"Valkyrie!" the detective called out, firing another couple of shots to try and deter the Cleaver. Little did Skulduggery know, Valkyrie and Fletcher were sat listening to music and holding hands at this precise moment in time. The troubles of young love.

The shots Skulduggery had fired had had completely the opposite effect, attracting two other Cleavers from other parts of the gallery.

"Valkyrie!" he shouted again. "I really don't want to die at the hands of a scythe, so if you could come out here and help it would be appreciated!"

Three scythes whirled past different parts of Skulduggery's body, and he screeched as he realised he was surrounded with no help. Why had he asked Valkyrie and Fletcher to help? Why not Ghastly, or Dexter, or someone with higher priorities than their relationship?

He backed into the room he'd sent Valkyrie and Fletcher into, managing to keep the Cleavers at bay as he walked. Just.

"Valkyrie Cain, do not make me use your true name to get you to do something!" Skulduggery shouted, as one of the Cleavers got slightly too close and managed to slice one of his fingers off.

"As if you'd dare," she said stubbornly, taking out her earphone and handing it to Fletcher. He looked up at the detective, blushed and quickly stuffed the mp3 player into his pocket.

"Well, she'd be helpful right about now," Skulduggery replied, glaring at Valkyrie just long enough for a Cleaver to take a step towards him and take his left hand off. "Shame, I was just beginning to like having two hands."

Huffing, Valkyrie got up and started throwing fireballs at the Cleavers, who suddenly realised they had more than one person to deal with. Two Cleavers ran over to Valkyrie, but she punched them both in the stomach and kicked the backs of their knees. They crumpled to the floor, giving Valkyrie just enough time to heave her boyfriend off the floor and try and convince him to help - he'd frozen in fear.

Fletcher grabbed Skulduggery and Valkyrie and before they'd had time to blink he'd teleported them outside the art gallery.

"What did you do that for!?" Skulduggery shouted, staring hard at Fletcher.

"I thought you needed help," he protested.

"With the fight, not with escaping!"

"What happened to advancing in reverse?" Fletcher said.

"Girls, put down your handbags," Valkyrie burst in. "Skulduggery, you were going to get sliced to shreds in there."

Skulduggery harrumphed but said nothing.

"Fletch, well done." She smiled at him, and gained a hug in return. Skulduggery felt sick for at least the third time today.

The detective changed the subject. "This still doesn't help us getting the diamond."

"This diamond?" Fletcher said, pulling a small object out of his back pocket. Valkyrie's face lit up at the sight.

"Oh, Fletcher, that's brilliant!" she said.

"Yes," Skulduggery grumbled. "Just brilliant."

"How did you manage that?" Valkyrie asked, smirking proudly at Skulduggery. She knew her boyfriend was helpful in these kinds of tasks, despite Skulduggery's usual doubt and scepticism.

"I remembered I'd been to the vault once before – can't remember why – so I just teleported in there, grabbed the diamond and came out again, before rescuing you two from that rubbish situation with the Cleavers," Fletcher stated, looking pretty pleased with himself. It wasn't often that he did something better than Skulduggery, and he was going to milk it as much as he could.

"I could have managed perfectly well without your help, thank you very much," Skulduggery complained.

"Because you looked like you were doing so well in there," Valkyrie pointed out. "You lost a hand."

"Never really needed two." Skulduggery said defensively.

"You just don't want to admit that my boyfriend actually helped you, do you? He's more than a pretty face!"

"Yeah!" Fletcher agreed, before turning round to kiss Valkyrie. He knew Skulduggery liked Valkyrie a little more than just as a friend, so this was guaranteed to add salt to the wound. Skulduggery stood and tried not to sulk.

Valkyrie laughed in delight and pulled Fletcher closer, shooting a 'Go away' look at Skulduggery. He did as he was told – for once – and left them to face the oncoming onslaught of Cleavers.

"Let's see how you like that," he said, straightening his tie and walking off towards his Bentley.