Shizuru didn't know how to answer.

She wanted to tell Natsuki no, that she didn't care who knew about their relationship. She wanted to shout from the rooftops and write in the sky how much she loved Natsuki but it wasn't true. There was someone she was afraid of, a dark cloud hanging over their relationship. She didn't care who knew about them as long as it wasn't Saeko Kuga.

"Well..."

Shizuru faltered and for every second that silence reigned over the phone she could almost feel Natsuki's heart breaking. It hurt but she couldn't answer her. Shizuru heard the sound of a car passing and reasoned that she was walking down the street.

"Can I see you tonight?"

That was a question Shizuru could easily answer. "Of course. I'll make dinner."

Shizuru set to making dinner for her and Natsuki and before long she had a candlelight dinner laid out on her dining room table. She had changed into an elegant black, backless dress, one that she knew Natsuki would like, and was putting the finishing touches on dessert when there was a knock on her front door. She made sure the table was ready, turned out the lights as she crossed the room and leaned sensually against the doorjam as she opened. "Hey."

Natsuki's eyes took every inch of her in and she noticed that a smile slowly spread across her face, replacing the meloncholy look that had been there a second ago. "What's the occassion?"

Shizuru took her in her arms and kissed her. "Because I missed you."

She let Natsuki walk passed her and into the apartment. Natsuki stopped when she saw the dinner table lit up romantically. The look of surprise on her face made Shizuru's smile spread wider. "Did you do all this for me?"

Shizuru wrapped herself around Natsuki and hugged her from behind, leaving a gentle kiss on the nape of her neck. "All for you, baby."

They sat down to eat. Natsuki ate slowly, her eyes never leaving Shizuru. Shizuru loved the attention but she couldn't help but detect a hint of sadness behind them, like Natsuki was upset or worried. "Is something wrong, Natsuki?"

She could see the tug of war in her eyes, the play of emotions that meant Natsuki wanted to tell her something but couldn't. Her expression quickly fell away but Shizuru had noticed. She found that she noticed many things about the girl that she hadn't noticed before, as if they were becoming more attuned to each other. Her body could pick up on things she didn't immediately see, and what she was feeling from Natsuki then was determination.

"Thanks for dinner."

Natsuki deftly redirected the conversation, Shizuru let it pass. She knew that no matter how hard she tried she would never be able to pry any answers out of the stubborn girl so instead she chose to wait. She decided to fall back to another tactic, teasing. "Wait until after dinner, then you can thank me." She did.

-TOUCH-

Shizuru was in high spirits as she leaned against a tree and watched the children in her class running and playing in the yard. She breathed in the cooling autumn air and let it out in a long exhale. After being with Natsuki just the act of breathing made her feel great.

"Hey." She noticed Midori approaching from the school building. A grin spread across her face as she took in the scene before her. "How's it going?"

"Fine."

"I don't buy that." Midori pretended to sock Shizuru in the arm. "You're practically glowing. You met someone, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

As always Shizuru was vague, Midori was used to it and didn't pry further. "Well, it's good to see you happy." Midori looked down at her watch when her eyes suddenly flew up. "That's her."

Shizuru looked up and noticed that someone was running down the sidewalk, her dark hair cut short and wearing a simple pair of jogging pants and a tank top. Midori's eyes were listless and never left the woman as she passed. She sighed. "Why don't you just talk to her?"

"What exactly am I supposed to say to her? 'Hi, how's it going? I always watch you when you jog by.'?"

"Maybe leave that part out, but why not tell her that you think she's attractive and ask her out?"

Midori threw up her hands in frustration. "Right, so long as she's into other women and isn't already married to some loser. That's too many ifs."

"If there's one thing I've learned, Midori, it's that you've got to take the chance."

Midori cut her a look. "Maybe." Her attention returned to Shizuru. "So, tell me about her. What's she like?"

"She's beautiful, energetic and passionate. She's deep, plays guitar and sings like an angel. She's just, amazing."

Midori's smile spread across her face and threatened to reach her ears. "Lucky. She sounds great."

"Yeah." Talking about Natsuki reminded her of how she had acted at dinner the previous night. Like she was hiding something. "She's great."

"I'm happy for you, Shizuru. Maybe it'll be my turn next."

"Definitely."

The bell rang and Shizuru gathered her students to return to the classroom.

-TOUCH-

It was a week after her dinner with Natsuki and Shizuru hadn't seen or spoken to her in that time. Every time she had tried to call she was met by her voicemail and every message she had sent had not received a reply. She was starting to worry. She was at home, trying her best not to think about it when her phone rang and she answered it, hoping it was Natsuki.

"Shizuru?"

It was Natsuki, but her something in her voice sounded off. "Natsuki? Where have you been?"

"Hey, can I come over?"

"Yes, of course. Do you want me to pick you up?" The phone hung up before she got an answer and she felt anxious but happy she would be seeing her girlfriend again. She sat on her couch and waited patiently, though she was on edge and nervous, until the door opened and Natsuki stumbled in. She looked like she had been drinking, she was wearing a beat up leather jacket and her eyes were a bloodshot red. Shizuru's heart sank to see her.

"Hey, baby."

Natsuki's voice sounded terrible and Shizuru got up from the chair and wrapped her up in a hug. She kissed her and almost gagged on the taste of alcohol from her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Though her voice was less than convincing to Shizuru, who could practically feel the pain in her. Natsuki fell roughly onto the couch and Shizuru sat down next to her. She put her arm around Natsuki and held her close. "I missed you."

She laid her head on Shizuru's shoulder and only then did she realize she was shivering. "Natsuki, talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"Just..." Natsuki's voice sounded unsure. "Can't we just enjoy ourselves for now?"

Shizuru wanted nothing more than that but worry kept gnawing at her and she couldn't let it go. "I want to help you."

"Well maybe I don't need your help." Natsuki pushed away from Shizuru and turned to face her. "I didn't come here to be lectured."

"Natsuki, I'm just worried about you."

"Well stop it. I'm fine." Natsuki crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked away from Shizuru.

"Come here." Shizuru relented and pulled her girlfriend on top of her on the couch. "I missed you, too."

They lay together after moving to the bedroom. Natsuki's eyes were closed and she lay against her. Shizuru had her arms around her girlfriend and kissed her forehead. She was thankful for her, even if she was still worried about her, having come to visit her but she couldn't shake the thought that something was happening with Natsuki. Something bad.

Over the next two weeks she saw it take a toll on her girlfriend. She would rarely see her, though she would talk to her on the phone when she could, and whenever she did she reeked of alcohol and looked like she hadn't slept in days. Whenever she would ask, Natsuki would always deflect her by saying 'I just want to enjoy our time together' or 'Can't we just be together like this'. As the weeks passed Natsuki got gradually angrier, sometimes she would lash out at Shizuru for seemingly no reason, as if blaming her for something she didn't even know she had done. Shizuru had to watch quietly as Natsuki slowly destroyed herself.

There was little she could do, however. Natsuki wouldn't talk to her about anything and she couldn't talk to any of her co workers about her relationship, none of them would understand, and she certainly couldn't talk to Saeko about it. She was still afraid of the older woman's reaction to her relationship with her daughter.

It was like this until a Friday night a week later. Shizuru was sitting on her couch trying to watch television to take her mind off of everything that was happening with Natsuki when her phone rang. She rushed to answer it. "Natsuki?"

"Shizuru? Help me..."

Shizuru hopped up from the couch, her adrenaline pumping and her heart beating like mad in her chest. Natsuki sounded terrible, her voice barely registered across the phone. It sounded like she was far away. "Where are you?"

"I don't know... I see some houses... they look expensive..."

Shizuru was tying her shoes as she spoke. "You can't see anything else that might help? A street sign or a landmark?"

There was a pause. "There's a two story house across the street and I see a sign. Burke..."

Shizuru knew where that was and was already running out of the door and out to her car. "I think I know where you are. I'm coming to get you, just hang in there. Okay?"

"Shizuru..." Natsuki's voice sounded weaker by the second. "I'm sorry..."

"Just hang on for me, okay baby. I'm coming for you."

Tires screamed as Shizuru whipped her car around and hit the road as fast as she could, exceeding the speed limit by percentages as she tore through the city streets to the outskirts of town. She spun around what turns she could, pushing her own driving skills on her way out to Burke street. Once she found it she spotted Natsuki sitting against a nearby lamppost. She looked terrible, her clothes were dirty, as was her hair, and she looked like she had been in a fight, she could see bruises on her bare arms and what looked like dried blood on her collar. Shizuru's heart sank when she spotted her.

The car screeched to a halt. Shizuru hopped out and ran to Natsuki, taking the younger girl into her arms and hugging her close. Natsuki's bloodshot eyes looked up at her, a weak smile tried to crawl across her face. "Hey."

Shizuru knew there were tears in her eyes but it didn't matter at that moment. All she was worried about was Natsuki. Shizuru picked her up easily and carried her to the car. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

Natsuki wasn't in a position to argue. Shizuru laid her gently in the back of her car and took off towards the hospital. They admitted her quickly and Shizuru sat in the waiting room, wondering if she should call Saeko. She would be worried about her daughter, to be sure, but she wondered what her reaction would be to her own presence, if she would question what she was to Natsuki. Before long the doctor came out to greet her. "Ms. Fujino?" Shizuru stood up, ready for the news. "She seems to be fine, no major injuries to speak of. We did find something interesting in her bloodwork, though. We found traces of Rohypnol..."

"Are you telling me she was drugged?"

"It would appear that way. She seems to have some memory loss and disorientation consistent with the effects of the drug."

Shizuru's worry decreased knowing that Natsuki was going to be okay but she found a new emotion took it's place, anger. "Can I see her now?"

"Sure, she's still awake."

Shizuru followed the doctor down sterile white hallways until they found the room that Natsuki was in. There was a curtain pulled around another bed and a smell like death seeped from it but Shizuru ignored that as her eyes were all on Natsuki, who smiled when she saw her. "Hey, babe."

Shizuru's anger only increased at seeing her condition. She sat down next to Natsuki and took her hand in hers. "What happened, Natsuki? Who did this to you?" She tried to keep her rising anger from her voice but it still sounded sharper than she had meant it to.

Natsuki's brow scrunched up like she was thinking. "I don't really remember."

Shizuru didn't accept that answer. She had tried to be nice but she needed answers, her anger demanded it. "Bullshit." Her voice was hard, her tone said that she would have no nonsense. "This has happened before and I know damn well you know who did it now tell me."

Natsuki's look turned from confusion to guilt. She looked down at her chest when she spoke. "It was Nao. She said if I didn't go with her she'd tell everyone about us. She said you'd be fired or worse and I never wanted to hurt you, Shizuru. I had to go."

Shizuru's chest felt tight and her words caught in her throat. She remembered the call she had received nearly two weeks ago and realized that it was all her fault. Natsuki had called her looking for support but Shizuru had been hesitant to answer. Now Natsuki was lying in a hospital bed and it was her fault. The realization hit her like a ten ton hammer and she suddenly felt like she was sinking into darkness, her mouth opened and closed without her speaking. She had no words left to say. "I'm so sorry, Natsuki." Her eyes were watering over. "It's my fault. It's all my fault."

"I wanted to protect you."

"I don't care about any of that. A job is a job, I can find another one. I don't care who knows about us and I don't care about anything else but you. I should have said that but I didn't, and now..."

Natsuki gripped her hand tighter. "I did it because I love you, Shizuru, and I'd do it a hundred times more if I had to."

Shizuru's heart did a backflip in her chest. She leaned over and kissed Natsuki gently. "I love you too, Natsuki."

Natsuki smiled, then she laid her head back and closed her eyes. "I'm tired."

Shizuru gently ran a hand through Natsuki's hair. "Go to sleep, baby."

Shizuru watched her sleep for several minutes before she rose from the chair. She spotted Natsuki's cellphone on a nearby counter and subtely scooped it into her pocket. Once clear of the hospital building she opened it and found Nao's number. The phone rang twice before it was answered. "Natsuki..."

"Where can I find you?"

There was silence over the phone. When she spoke again it was with a serious tone. She spoke her address followed by, "Come find me".

Shizuru was angry, her blood was screaming for vengeance and she was tempted to give in. She drove to the address she had been given and found a relatively ramshackle, single story house. The paint was peeled in places and the porch looked as if it would fall down at any minute. She looked around her and noticed that most of the houses on the block were in a similar condition and wondered exactly where she had found herself.

As she pulled in front of it a red-haired girl walked away from the porch and stopped halfway towards the car, her dark green eyes never left hers, a cocky smirk spread across her face. Shizuru got out of the car and approached, her shoulders raised and her eyes burning holes through the girl.

"So, I guess Natsuki talked. Then I guess you know what I'm going to do if you..."

Shizuru closed the distance between them before she stopped talking and swung at Nao. The girl wasn't expecting it and Shizuru connected with her chest, knocking her back and taking the wind out of her. Nao tried to fight back but she was amateur and something about the way Shizuru moved said she was a pro; when Nao swung at her Shizuru seemed to not be there and whenever she struck it was precise and powerful, her hits feeling like being hit with a hammer. She backed Nao up closer to her house until the wall was at her back, she was bleeding from the nose and mouth and was favoring her right side where Shizuru had likely broken a rib.

Shizuru grabbed Nao by the throat and lifted her against the house, holding the girl off her feet using the house as leverage. She tightened her grip around her windpipe. Nao tried to fight her off but couldn't, her punches and kicks grew more feeble as the oxygen left her lungs. Shizuru looked into her eyes and saw her panic, her eyes wide with fear. Shizuru wanted to snap her neck, wanted to end the person who had hurt her love but she held back. Her training kicked in and she took in several deep breaths before releasing Nao's windpipe.

When she released her Nao slid down the wall and fell to the ground, coughing and gasping for air. She stood over Nao as the young girl drew away from her. "If you come near my girlfriend again," her voice was steel and her eyes were cold with anger and power, "I'll kill you."

Every molecule in her being meant those words, seeing Natsuki in a bed and knowing that she had perpetrated it had set Shizuru's blood boiling but seeing the look of fear in Nao's eyes then had a calming effect on her. She turned and walked back to her car, pulling away from the house confident that her message had been received loud and clear.

-TOUCH-

Shizuru made her way through the chaotic hallways of the hospital and stood at the door to Natsuki's room. She opened the door and entered, greeted by a pair of green eyes that didn't belong to Natsuki. They looked confused. "Shizuru?" Saeko Kuga stood from the chair beside Natsuki's bed. "What are you doing here?"

"I," Shizuru was stuck. She didn't necessarily want Saeko to know about her and Natsuki, she had no idea what kind of reaction Saeko would have had, but her hesitation had put Natsuki in that bed and the doubt still gnawed at the edges of her consciousness. She reasoned that a little lie would get her passed this and swore to herself she would come clean to the woman later on. "I found her hurt on the side of the road. I didn't know she was your daughter."

Saeko's expression turned to suspicion. "How did you know she was my daughter?"

Shizuru realized he blunder and moved quickly to correct it. "You two look alike. A lot alike." It was no lie, Shizuru had noticed it before in the picture but seeing the two of them in the same room she didn't know if she could pick them apart out of a lineup, excepting Saeko's age of course. They shared many common features, but Saeko's eyes were a darker shade of green than Natsuki's, Shizuru found that she didn't fall into them like her girlfriend's eyes.

"Yeah, we get that a lot." Saeko's expression changed to a smile and she stepped forward, giving Shizuru a somewhat awkward hug. It was apparent to Shizuru that Saeko didn't have much experience hugging anyone and wondered if she had ever hugged Natsuki before. Her expression turned soft. "Thank you." Before Shizuru could ask why, Saeko sat back down in the chair, her hands on the railing of the hospital bed. "I don't deserve her. All I've ever done is hurt her, and I can't help but feel that this is my fault." Shizuru wanted to say something, to say that she felt the same way, but couldn't. It would contradict her earlier lie. "I heard her playing that guitar of hers again. She sings too, beautifully." She could see a tear fall down Saeko's face and wondered if that was the first tear the woman had ever cried. "It's my fault..."

Shizuru put a comforting hand on Saeko's shoulder, her own eyes starting to water. Saeko shook the tears off and wiped her eyes. "When she wakes up, I'm going to do better by her. I'll help her get better, as long as it takes."

The words echoed the feelings in Shizuru's heart. "So will I." She muttered under her breath, Saeko was too far into her own guilt to hear her. "I'll be here as long as it takes because I love you."