"I'm so bored!" I moan as I look out the window of my room. It was another beautiful day and I couldn't stand it. I despised not having anything to do and there hadn't been a Titan attack in months.

How am I supposed to get better if I don't have anything to practice on? I mentally shake myself when I start to realize how insane I sound complaining about the lack of Titan attacks. Is this what boredom does? Push me into borderline insanity where all I wish for is an adrenaline rush?

My thoughts are interrupted by a slew of new recruits running by my window, a familiar voice behind them, reaming their asses about how useless and incompetent they are.

Ain't that the truth, I grumble in agreement

Hmmm, maybe I should be more like Oluo and entertain myself by giving the new recruits a hard time. I've been with the Scout Regiment going on eight years; it's a benefit by right for having survived so long.

Half tempted, I rise up from my cot but reconsider.

Ah, what's the use? I'll probably just end up making some poor recruit burst into tears rendering them useless the rest of the day.

So instead, I survey the fresh batch of newbies that roll by and amuse myself by trying to guess which recruit will survive the longest. I knew it was morbid to think of such things but this is what reality had become. Not just for me, but for everyone who was part of the Scout Regiment.

I eventually lose interest and reach to grab a book when a very young, and very handsome, boy stops near my window. I was instantly captivated.

"Armin, hurry up! You're going to get left behind…AGAIN!" The handsome boy yelled as a sweet looking blonde headed boy came jogging up from the rear, eager to catch up to his friend.

"I'm sorry, Eren." the blonde headed boy replied huffing, "My pack is too heavy. I'll do better now, though. I promise." The handsome boy named Eren simply smiled at his friend while he waited for him. When Armin reached him, Eren grabbed the blonde boy's pack and hoisted it on top of his.

"It will be our little secret, ok, Armin? This time we'll beat Mikasa and Connie!" He grinned at Armin conspiratorially.

"But Eren!" Armin protested.

"Shhhhh, they'll never know what hit them. They think we're at the back of the pack and will take their time now that we're almost to headquarters. I'll carry your pack until the last quarter mile and then we'll sprint until the very end, beating them at the last minute. Just think, Armin. They won't be so high and mighty while they're cleaning the latrines for the next month and a half!" Eren laughs loudly as he jumps forward and runs towards headquarters at full speed with Armin desperately trying to keep pace behind him.

I smiled inwardly at the scene of the two boys that had just unfolded in front of me. It took me back to the days when Levi and I were new recruits, betting each other chores and favors to make things more interesting.

"Oh, Levi, what happened to us?" I ask myself out loud. "Is it foolish to hope that one day we could return to the type of frivolity that I just witnessed or has our mutual disdain for this life made us grow too sour? Or perhaps it's something else altogether?" I lie back on my cot and ponder this last thought. It had been weeks since I last saw Levi and when I had, a brush on my cheek with his lips was all I received.

"That and a list of all the things I still need to work on with my training," I recall bitterly but then check myself. It wasn't like Levi was ever mean. In fact, he was rather nice considering everything that had happened between me and him.

"It's like he doesn't know what to do with me," I muse out loud, "which could explain why he chose to put me here in the barracks with the new recruits." My cheeks flush as I remember the incident that caused Levi to assign me to the barracks.

It was about a year ago and I had broken up with Levi a few months before. Things had come to a breaking point and I needed to get away from his over protective nature. I had finally managed to develop my own circle of friends, outside of Levi, and things had been going well for me… until Levi found out I was dating someone that wasn't him.

Levi had come barging into my apartment unannounced, flustered and short-tempered, demanding that I reveal to him the name of the person I was dating. I knew it was useless to hide it from him, so I proudly revealed to him that I was indeed dating someone and that someone was Eld. Upon receiving the news, Levi swirled into a blind rage and broke every freestanding piece of furniture available to him. He then stormed out of my apartment and made his way over to the canteen where he knew he would find Eld. I remember running after Levi, begging for him to stop and to leave Eld alone, but it was no use. It seemed as if my pleas on Eld's behalf served to only increase Levi's rage against him. Once he reached the canteen, Levi plowed inside and then reemerged, dragging Eld out into the street by his cloak. I rushed towards Levi, pushing him away from Eld while yelling at the top of my lungs for him to stop. I remember Levi giving me a look of scorn before ordering me to stand aside. When I failed to comply, Levi physically moved me out of the way and then proceeded to punch Eld mercilessly as I watched on. It wasn't until Gunther and Oluo pulled him off that Levi stopped beating Eld.

The next day, Levi and Eld were called to Commander Erwin's office. I remember waiting outside, desperate to know what was happening. I feared the worse. I feared that both Levi and Eld would be kicked out of the Scout Regiment and arrested by the Military Police for infighting. My worries, however, were for naught, because when Levi and Eld emerged from Commander Erwin's office, it was as if nothing had happened. Levi and Eld shook hands and clapped each other's back, parting as comrades once more.

I breathed a sigh of relief and called Eld's name. When nothing happened, I called Eld's name again, knowing he heard me the second time, but I still received the same result. I bowed my head in sorrow recognizing the fact that Eld was ignoring me and the reason why had everything to do with Levi. I watched hopelessly as Eld disappeared around the corner, realizing that he would probably never speak to me again.

"We need to talk," Levi said coldly.

"There's nothing to talk about," I responded with equal frostiness.

"You're wrong. We need to discuss your punishment."

"My punishment?" I spluttered in disbelief.

"Yes. Your punishment for your failure to obey a direct order," Levi answered in an even tone, referring to the moment when I had refused to stand aside and let him beat Eld.

I balked with incredulity at the ridiculousness of what Levi was saying.

"As your captain, Commander Eriwn has given me leave to devise a punishment suitable for your transgression since it was my order you disobeyed. So, as of this moment, you are stripped of your rank and are now assigned to the barracks to work with the new recruits."

My eyes locked onto Levi's, revealing the intense dislike I now had for him.

"Yes, Captain," was my only response as I turned my back on him and walked off. I didn't get far when I felt Levi's hand on my shoulder, causing me to stop in my tracks.

"You will always be mine," he whispered in my ear as a matter of fact, "and you'll do well to remember that." Upon hearing those words, I quickly turned around just in time to see Levi vanish around the same corner Eld had a few moments before.

So here I am, a year later, completely alone, and unable to move on. Levi's stunt with Eld had basically announced to the world that I was forever off limits and to top it off Levi had given me strict instructions regarding my training schedule, what things I needed to work on, and how I am supposed to interact with the new recruits. There was to be no favoritism, no friendly banter, no nothing. I was there to train them on how to survive and work on my own skills, not be their friend. Luckily, Levi had decided to rescind his decision of stripping me of my rank leaving me with some dignity, but just barely.