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Nice. Good job guys.

Onto new topic.

Originally I had some crap written here about Haise "not being Kaneki until we see his kagune". Well, we saw it…and were very pleased at what we saw. And now Touka is in the picture, so that will be insane.

Sorry for not making it long D: Otherwise, enjoy.

Thought of the Chapter: No story can have a good ending without sacrifice. Warning you guys now; this story is no different.

Second Thought of the Chapter: Don't you just hate those bad guys who smile throughout the whole battle, even when they lose? I just want to kill them.

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Chapter Four: Kakuja

There was something profoundly wrong about the way Kaneki looked in the mirror. Although strong and lean, there was this predatory glint in his eyes that he would see every time he saw his face.

It was downright scary, if he was to be honest with himself. Even his fingernails, which have been black for nearly a year (he didn't like to think about when it happened) were still the same. The dark color that contrasted with his hair. If his nails turned black, why couldn't his hair stay that way too?

Nevermind. Stop making your colors match, Kaneki, that's embarrassing. Next thing you know, you'll be wearing matching clothes, and demanding that your rinkaku turn black...

Kaneki remembered, back before any of this had happened, he had been a weak and skinny college student whose biggest concerns were passing school and maybe getting a girlfriend.

Pfft.

Past Kaneki was pathetic. Even if he was an intellectual fellow, past Kaneki was someone he would not want to be in this world. Current Kaneki, however, was a combination of both. Which was good. Better together, right?

It had been three weeks since Kaneki had found his current hideout, the storehouse in the 8th ward. Days of training, walking, soul-searching…all that good stuff. No rest for poor Kaneki-kun.

His kakuja was still, however, not perfected. Improved, yes, but not near the state of perfection he would've liked to have. He could call it whenever he wanted, and instead of falling unconscious in a half-awake state to let The Kakuja do its work, he would watch himself from afar.

Like a very gory dream.

However, his control for the damn thing was still in question. His "anchor" hadn't worked out so well (he had tried focusing on his humanity first), and since then any new ideas that would come to him simply did not work. It was like a key. He had a locked door, sitting right in front of him, but he didn't have a key!

There was only one thing left to do. He had to either find a new anchor, or do a very risky action that he would not prefer to do. And frankly, he wasn't sure if it would work or not.

The problem was, he didn't want to spend too long training. Too much to do, Aogiri Tree still at large, plans still uncertain.

Kaneki didn't really care much for what the ghoul community did at large – he would leave the CCG to do that – but he cared that Aogiri would hurt and kill his friends. Yes, the CCG could get in the way (freaking Arima), and yes, they did take down Anteiku… But if he could start things right, he and his friends wouldn't need to worry about that anymore.

There was also that lingering thought in his head that someone had been in his room, not even touching his new mask. Whether it had been Touka (the preferred option), the CCG, Aogiri, whatever… It didn't mean anything good.

This meant that he would have to perform the rather risky move he would've rather not have to do.

For the rest of the day until nightfall Kaneki prepared his training room. Reinforcing to the max, lots of newspapers to soak up any blood he might let loose, piling up some bodies in the corner to satisfy The Kakuja, etc. etc…

The moon came up, and Kaneki was ready to go.

Entering his little bubble into the back of his mind, the smell of blood and meat was enough to draw The Kakuja into its mental shell and out through Kaneki's skin. It came out fast enough, the larger-than-average pile of bodies drawing it in.

White hair, one empty eye in the center of his face, a long beak hanging down past his chin. The face was scary as always, and the half-formed centipede tail didn't help. His black combat suit was on as well, just for the heck of it. Might as well start wearing it again. Thanks, Shuu.

It was at this moment Kaneki tried talking to it.

Beforehand, Kaneki always thought as the Kakuja like a movie. He would sit back, relax his consciousness while the hardened rc cells would absorb all the damage and pretty much ravage the surroundings. He would feel it later, of course. This wasn't a method to avoid pain. It was actually an effort to keep a simple train of thought going while he let The Kakuja do all the work. That's why it took him three weeks to get to his point.

But recently, Kaneki started thinking of The Kakuja as a person, not a spectacle to marvel at. This wasn't the zoo, no little kids were here crying to their mommies so they can pet the "strange animal". Poor kids.

Focus, Kaneki. Focus.

Kaneki remembered something Banjou saying something about his mental state. Torture was not something Kaneki liked to think about. Hell, even if you weren't the one tortured, people don't like to think about it. It's not a very good pastime. But what if something inside him broke, unrepairable from the outside?

The Kakuja represents that mental break. Kaneki thought that if he could only come to terms with The Kakuja…maybe he would be healed, after so long of being broken.

On a side note, seeing Touka and Hinami wouldn't be so bad either.

While The Kakuja dashed across the room for meat, Kaneki formed one word in his mouth: "Kaneki!"

It felt very strange coming out, almost like yelling into the silence of a dark room. The fact that he was yelling out his own name wasn't very bothersome. But it almost seemed like The Kaukuja ignored him.

Slightly peeved, Kaneki struggled to yell once more. "Kaneki!"

Yes, he was sure of it. The Kakuja completely ignored him, going right over to the meat and gorging itself on flesh. Nearly all the bodies were those of ghouls, so it shouldn't taste great at all, but apparently Kakuja wasn't picky.

"Hey, shithead! I'm talking to you!"

Touka really had influenced his way of talking. He would need to fix that later.

However, it seemed to work. Slowly, almost menacingly, The Kakuja turned its head to face Kaneki. "Didn't think you had the stomach to talk to me."

Surprised by the guttural way of speaking, but quickly recovering, Kaneki answered, "You are me. Why should I be afraid of you?"

In a blink of an eye Kaneki was forced on the ground by the centipede tail of The Kakuja. This shouldn't be possible, Kaneki thought. I'm not even fully conscious.

"I don't know why it shouldn't be. Our mind is in two parts right now – you, and me. The only thing we have in common is that we both want to be in control."

Control?

"What do I mean by that, you ask? You should know. We're the same thing."

"How can you read MY mind but I can't read yours? What are you?"

"Because I was formed from a part of you, not vice versa. And I am the reincarnation of our innermost potential, formed after we were brutally tortured by Jason. However, I am only half of you. Therefore, I am only half of your potential."

"Where's the other half?"

"You have it. Not sure where, though, you're fucking weak."

Weak? That's not something Kaneki would use to describe himself. Especially not in that kind of matter, like he had almost zero worth. "What makes you think-"

"I don't think. Remember, I am not the brain. I am you."

This was too fucking ridiculous for Kaneki to handle. Using his rinkaku, Kaneki pushed The Kakuja away to gain space, surprised to feel resistance. He had expected the tentacles to go right through.

"Where the hell am I, then? I'm not even a substantial being right now, and you are! How could I even touch you? And vice versa!" Kaneki yelled.

Smiling gruesomely behind his mask, The Kakuja responded in a sadistic tone, "Maybe we're both unconscious now, our body lying flat on the ground, this whole setting just a product of our imagination."

"Wha-"

The scene changed. It was now Jason's hobby room, a place Kaneki visited in his nightmares nearly every day for every week. The white tiles on the ground gleamed with blood, and soon the whole scene became tinged with red. It was never ending, never stopping…

"Remember, Kaneki-kun? Our blood regenerates, so we could never die, could never stop the pain-"

"What are you?!"

"Never even had the choice to commit suicide!"

With the same speed it used earlier to catch Kaneki off-guard, The Kakuja launched itself at Kaneki, tail sharp and ready to behead Kaneki if he so allowed it.

Bending down to avoid the tail, Kaneki let loose his rinkaku in its total display of eight tentacles, preparing to fight with his own… "God damn consciousness. You realize, if you are truly me, that hurting each other will only end with our own death? Is death even possible?"

"You know the answer to that. And since you do, you should also know that as the bestiality of our combined mind I couldn't really give a fuck."

"What do you want?"

"The same thing as you. Control. Whoever wins this fight determines the mindset of this body."

"You're insane."

"Ditto."

The Kakuja stood in place, letting the tail creep forward across the smooth tiles. Rinkaku at the ready, Kaneki used four to try and hold it down while using two more to propel him forward in the air. The final two tentacles came over his right shoulder, preparing to stab The Kakuja.

I have no choice. How else can I subdue it?

"You can't."

Using the trapped tail as momentum, The Kakuja heaved and lifted himself towards Kaneki, shaking the ground and feet flying forward into Kaneki's guard.

Thinking fast, Kaneki prepared to use the two extra limbs used from propelling himself to trap The Kakuja when he heard, "I can read your mind, y'know…"

The Kakuja had grabbed hold of Kaneki's face, the combined weight sending them crashing into the ground. Yes, the pain was dull for a ghoul, but it as there. This was no game.

The Kakuja's tail had escaped, slicing off the ends of the four rinkaku limbs and flying straight for a hole into Kaneki's chest.

Kaneki flinched back his eyes instinctively and used the remaining four as a shield against the tail, the earth-rattling crash resounding in the endless expanse of black and white.

"I'm toying with you. Remember Ayato? You are to me as he was to you. Don't make this any more embarrassing. Give in."

Kaneki grit his teeth, thinking hard. This was getting no-where.

"Damn right."

"Shut up!" Leaping forward, Kaneki twisted his body, throwing his strength into his rinkaku as the limbs decimated the ground, The Kakuja having turned away at the last moment.

"Speaking of the Kirishama family, what about Touka? She's still alone, and you promised Kaneki-kun… You promised you wouldn't but you still left her…"

Kaneki's eyes widened. The hell- There was no reason to bring this up. That was-

"Unmoral? Don't you worry, when I'm in control I'll have us live far, far away from anywhere else. Who knows, she may even get eaten-"

Letting loose a savage cry, Kaneki closed his eyes and whipped around, tentacles spraying in every direction. He felt resistance on one of them, and when he opened his eyes again he saw The Kakuja struggling to hold back the six tentacles that were pinning it to the ground.

With a cold glare, Kaneki willed the rinkaku to stab The Kakuja from underneath. While his counterpart tried to escape, his rinkaku was stronger, and The Kakuja was completely stabbed through the stomach.

"Dammit!" It growled, pain coursing through its body. It coughed up blood before giving Kaneki a sadistic smile. "Nice show. But remember..." The Kakuja paused, struggling to get up from the ground. "I'm a kakuja. Not much can cause damage to me. And also," with a surge of strength The Kakuja lifted up the tentacles just enough for it to crawl out beneath and rush Kaneki, punching him back a good distance away. "What hurts me also hurts you. Mentally, of course."

So that was it. He was mentally deteriorating, every bit of damage causing damage to his brain. At one point he'll die.

There was no time to think. He just 'did' it. No time to think of a fancy plan, kill The Kakuja efficiently, none of it. Kaneki was furious. He didn't really understand it; it just seemed that all of a sudden, he had this mad desire to destroy The Kakuja and everything it stood for.

Kaneki rushed The Kakuja, limbs coming down like a cage to trap his opponent, arms going around in almost a hug. The Kakuja was so terribly caught off-guard by this random turn in events, it didn't have enough time to respond.

Kaneki whispered softly to The Kakuja, "Hey, you can read my mind, right?"

"Bastard. Letting your emotions get the better of you. Why the hell am I giving you this body anyway?"

"Then you should know what comes next. There won't be another time, I assure you.

"Hmph. Say hi to To-"

Kaneki's rinkaku crushed The Kakuja, fully destroying the counterpart. Pain shot through Kaneki as well, a mental shock that made his vision go dark. It was as if he had been electrocuted.

Kaneki felt himself fall, the warm blood of The Kakuja on his skin. This was all just a bad dream, right? No sane person would have a real, bloody fight with their mental instability. That was crazy. He would wake up, work on a new way to control his kakuja, and go to bed feeling a bit closer to his goal. He didn't like being alone, no way no how, this wasn't how a human being was supposed to live…

Before drifting off into the warm embrace of darkness, Kaneki mumbled out-loud, just in-case The Kakuja heard him, "How about we have peace, now? Please?"

…It was like water, coming back into the real world. Breaking the surface of a vast lake, completely flat and nothing to disturb the water. But then Kaneki's consciousness came through, demanding passage, and the water let him go with the flow. Water isn't there to make you stop. It's there to make you stop and think.

Kaneki, however, was done thinking. There was nothing to say about it. He woke up this morning feeling whole, like a piece of the puzzle that had been missing for far too long was finally part of the set again. Complete.

The kakuja didn't come to him naturally. It actually took him a bit to summon it again. His brain felt shattered right now; the fight had left its mark, but nothing permanent. Hopefully. Maybe this time he would get that peaceful ending he always wanted.

After withstanding the mental torment this activation was throwing onto his body, Kaneki finally got the strength to summon his kakuja. It was no longer The Kakuka. It was his kakuja.

The rc cells spread throughout his body, this being the first time Kaneki had been fully in control during the turn. It honestly felt nice, like a hot shower. When the mask came down over his face, it was like a magnifying glass; everything was magnified, thrown into higher contrast and better detail.

However, the kakuja was still lacking main parts. Still just a giant tail and little strands of rc cells here-and there, not much "armor" like a regular kakuja. Guess he was cursed to stay at half. Maybe he had to eat more ghouls? But he's eaten plenty already...

The second thing he noticed was how the rc cells were seeping through his skin, effecting his already well-toned muscles, giving him a complete boost in both stamina and power. When he really focused on it he could feel the blood seeping into his skull. slowly eating away at the human flesh.

Oh yeah. Kakuja's eat you up from the inside. Better not to focus on that…

The only real complaint he had about this work was how long it took to completely set itself up. Most of the time he would be using his rinkaku, at least until he was comfortable with the way the kakuja fit his body. No need to get himself killed simply because he wanted to try on some new clothes…

His next goal was, of course, to implement his rinkaku into the design so that he could use both kagunes at the same time. Now that would be terrifying. To the enemy, of course.

Kaneki looked at the clock. It was already pretty late; how long was he passed out? Cancelling the effects of the kakuja, he strode over to the pile of bodies and gorged himself. No need to waste, and a mental fight with a kakuja really took it out of you.

Once done, he stumbled over to his bed and promptly passed out. Again. Don't blame the guy. He was exhausted.

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Two weeks later and Kaneki was becoming restless. Aogiri had been more active than usual, and he was starting to get worried that other ghouls were going to find out about how 'Centipede' had taken refuge in the 8th ward. Didn't want any news to hit the CCG, who believed him dead. It had been nearly a month since he had last seen Hide, and that moron was probably worried sick by now…

He didn't want to delay it any longer. His temporary training was nearly complete, and Aogiri was becoming active. Time for 'Centipede' to come back into the fray.

By now his kakuja could be activated in less time, and with less energy loss. It was strange, having control of his body after months of just letting The Kakuja do all the work.

Before walking out, Kaneki took a moment to look around. This had been a truly nice place. Yes, the multiple stains of blood and smell of flesh got to him sometimes, but overall it was a carefree place. The 8th Ward was one of the best places for a ghoul to settle, having just enough ghouls to prevent human feeding, and just far enough from any major facilities to prevent the CCG from breathing down their back.

Kaneki looked in the mirror, still surprised by what he saw. But for a different reason. Instead of having this fractured, powerful look in his eyes, he almost looked…calm. At peace with the world. He didn't see how this was possible, they were just eyes, but something still called this out for him.

There was a lot Kaneki had to thank The Kakuja for, but right now he had other priorities, some more-so than others.

He walked away, heading in the direction of the 20th ward. There were some long-awaited meetings he had to make.

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The Kakuja calls Kaneki '-kun' as a way to taunt and make fun of him, almost like Rize. I thought it fit well.

However, if you don't like the way I depicted The Kakuja, tough luck. It took me FOREVER to find a good way to describe that! Again, and I think I said this last chapter, Ishida never gave us a real definition of how the kakuja works. So I took his Haise/Kaneki haunting idea and stuck it in as a separate consciousness.

Not so sure if it worked, but eh. It's the best theory I've seen in my opinion. If you have any questions just PM me. I'll respond the best way I can.

And if there was, am I really going to admit it?

Final thing. I'm not going to say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy New Year!" because I'm planning to update a new chapter between those two dates. So yeah! Be expecting that!

As always, flames (if any) will be ignored, and constructive criticism is always accepted fairly.

Cheers!