Thanks for the reviews!

Okay, so I had THE speech in my head, obviously, for a while now and it was easy writing it but I needed more but I was at a writer's block. THEN, I went see Disney Pixar's "Inside Out" and I got an idea! Thank you, Disney Pixar!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does.

Chapter Five

Despair

"W-what?" Hermione asked shocked.

"Harry saved my little brother, Sam," Dean repeated.

"Oh, my God. Is your little brother okay?"

"He's just fine. A little shaken up, though. The Healers scanned him for dark curses. Nothing too extreme, thank Merlin. They were able to remove them. When I heard Harry and Ron's Auror team were involved, I immediately went find them. I found Ron first and he told me that Harry jumped in front of Sam and took a modified Sectumsempra curse," he told her.

"Ron said he thinks the Death Eater knew it was Harry and knew he would jump in front of him. Your little brother-is he...like us? A Muggleborn?"

Dean nodded. "Yes. He's a Muggleborn. They're experimenting on Muggleborns. It's sick." Hermione could see him gulp when he said "muggleborn". Five years later and they still weren't safe. They were still being experimented on. "How is he?" Dean gestured toward Harry.

"Not very well. The spell hit his heart. I had to put him in an induced coma. I put the Core Strengthening spell on him. It allows him to heal himself through his own magic."

"Well, good luck, Hermione. Let me know when he wakes up. I want to thank him personally. I have to get back to my family now," Dean said.

Hermione nodded. "I will."

Dean left, shutting the door behind him.

Hermione looked back at Harry and said, "Did you hear all of that? You saved Dean's little brother. He wants to thank you. Which is another reason why you have to heal yourself and wake up, Harry. I don't think he would forgive himself if you died and he didn't get to say 'thank you'." She sighed as she checked his Diagnosis Spell for his vitals. That damn nick won't even budge. She changed his bandage again and poured another vial of Blood Replenishing Potion down his throat. Then, she grabbed his hand again and held it.

Suddenly, she had it. A light bulb went off in her head. She knew what to do. She inhaled deeply and let it out heavily. She hesitated before she opened her mouth. "I have this patient. She's ten years old. You'd love her, Harry. She broke her leg after stealing her older brother's broomstick and taking it on a joyride. Anyway, earlier she asked me what I became a Healer and not an Auror. She knew how well my spellwork was from history books. Before I could answer her, you lot were dragged in. I don't know if I could have answered her right then and there. But I think I can now. I became a Healer instead of an Auror...because of you."

Five Years Ago

Voldemort led the party of Death Eaters and Hagrid back to the castle from the Forbidden Forest. Both sides watched as they walked back into the courtyard. Hermione stood up from the stairs, Ron right beside her. Hagrid was carrying something in his arms. It looked like a body. A limp As they got closer and closer, Hermione could see his familiar jeans and jacket. A light reflected off of his glasses. She realized it was Harry.

'No. No. I won't believe it. He's not dead' she thought desperately. Her heart stopped in her chest and then sped a mile a minute.

"Look upon your hero," Voldemort taunted gesturing toward the limp body in the gentle giant's arms. Many people began to murmur and whisper.

"Is that Harry?"

"No. It can't be him."

"It's him."

"He's dead."

"He begged me to do it. Begged me to kill him. He was weak."

"No..." Hermione breathed out loud.

"Harry Potter...is dead!"

"NO!" All Hermione saw was red. She wanted to strangle Voldemort with her own bare hands. She forgot about the Horcruxes. She forgot that they needed to destroy the rest of the Horcruxes to kill him. She didn't care. She wanted to destroy him. He had killed the person she loved with all her heart and she wanted him to pay. She wanted him to know just how much he had hurt her. She tried to run at him but Ron caught her around her waist. She struggled and kicked but he wouldn't let her go. Tears streamed down her face. "HARRY! HARRY!"

Present Day

"Thank Merlin you weren't dead, Harry. I was so relieved when you fell out of Hagrid's arms and stood up. But in that moment when I thought you were dead-that was the scariest moment of my life. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. All I wanted to do was kill Voldemort for killing you. I wanted you back. I wanted to somehow make you alive again. I didn't care what it took. A few days later, I was lying awake in bed remembering that moment. And it was at that moment I decided that I wanted to heal people. I never want anyone else feel the way I did when I thought you were dead. I never want anyone to experience that. So that's why I'm a Healer. So that people will never have to know loss. I would never wish that upon anyone. Not even my worst enemy. Maybe I did then but not now. Because when that happens to someone-when they feel loss-it tears them apart. It rips them to pieces. I saw it rip you to pieces. I saw the guilt. I saw the sorrow. It tore away your humanity and left...a hole in your heart. It tried to rip your emotions away from you. And what it does is leave you an empty shell. Something was always missing. And I know you know what it is, Harry."

Hermione bit her lip, thinking of what else to say. Harry still hadn't tried to heal himself. She wanted to take him by the shoulders and force him to be happy and heal himself. But then, she stopped herself and realized something. This whole time she had been trying to cheer him up. If she knew anything it was that you must be sad before you can be happy. So she tried one last approach. She leaned in close and closed her eyes. She breathed in deep and then out and then she spoke:

"Harry, I want you to think about when you heard the number of people that had died. I want you to think about when you saw the bodies of the dead. Remember? When they were all lined up in the courtyard? And I came up to you and took your hand and squeezed it tight. But you pulled away and ran to the Astronomy Tower. You were scared. You were scared that I blamed you. That we all did. I know you didn't want to show it but I know you wanted to end it. To end your life. I chased after you. I calmed you down and eventually, you relented. But that was the beginning. Remember at the funerals? I saw the guilt again. It showed itself again. You remained hidden in the back. And when you saw Teddy, you saw yourself. An orphan. But you wanted to give him the best life he could ever have. And you did, Harry. He has the best life any kid could ever ask for. I am not asking you to be happy, Harry. I am asking you to feel sad. But this time, I am here, okay? I am here and I am NOT letting you go."

Harry could hear her every word. But inside his mind, he was in the in-between: the borderline between Life and Death. It was almost blinding white around him. He had been here before. The King's Cross station. Straight across from him, about fifty feet or possibly more on the other platform, were all of the people that had died that he knew. He saw his parents, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Fred, Colin Creevey, Mad-Eye Moody, Dumbledore, and numerous others that had died in the War. They were all staring at him with vacant expressions on their faces. It was a bit unnerving but Harry could not look away.

He was conflicted. If he stayed and healed his chest, he would live with the guilt and depression. But if he let go and went on, he could stop endangering people. Hermione and Teddy would be better off without him. And he could finally be at peace. "What do you want me to do?" he asked his parents that were across from him. They didn't answer. Of course they didn't. They weren't there to help him with his decision. Well, maybe they were there to entice him. To make him want to be with his family again.

But what Hermione was saying now was making so much sense to him. He was remembering these things. He remembered the bodies. Sixty-seven. That was the number of dead bodies in the courtyard. They were standing right across from him now. He remembered the feel of her sweaty, yet warm hand inside of his. It felt nice. But he felt as if he did not deserve it. Anyone he touched was in danger. So he ran away to the tallest tower at Hogwarts with the intent of leaving this world. He remembered Hermione's kind words to get him to go with her. He remembered the funerals. The rain. The sobs. He didn't look anyone in the eye when they looked back at him. He tried to camouflage himself as much as he could. He remembered Teddy's innocent face sleeping in his godmother's arms. He felt the guilt of his parents' deaths. Would Teddy blame him when he was older? The more Harry thought about it, the more he realized that Hermione had been there for him the entire time. She never left him. She never gave up on him. And he was grateful for it. But why had she stuck around him through it all? He knew what he felt for her. But he just could not see her feeling the same way after the War. How could she love him? He realized then and there that he did not want her to leave him. Ever.

And he wanted to be with Teddy again. He wanted to build a fort again and watch movies. He wanted to hold Hermione and never let her go. But he did not want to be a burden to them again. He wanted them to be happy. And the only way they could do that was if he wasn't there darkening their lives.

Inside his mind, he collapsed and curled up into a ball and began to sob. He felt warm and cold at the same time.

"Please, Harry. Please, we can do this. One day at a time. I won't ever give up on you. I love you too much to do that to you. You hear me? I love you."

And, he made his decision.

"I'm sorry..." was what he said. "I'm so sorry."

TBC...

Cliffhanger. Haha. Not as long as I'd hoped. Next chapter should be longer. I almost had Hermione create a mind-link with him and she would see him sobbing but I needed the cliffhanger.

Seriously, though, go see "Inside Out". It explains so much about letting go of things. And bring tissues.

Pleez review!

DREWHHR