If you haven't read the story, don't be put off by the Jasper/Peter pairing. This story is about how Jasper coped with what was done to him and he did that by shutting out that one person who was secretly in love with him by convincing himself that he is gay. This will be a Jasper and Alice pairing.

For those who are familiar with the original story, there will be a few changes.

The ages below will be their ages throughout the majority of the story unless there is a flashback but I will let you know how old they are there

Jasper: 15 Alice: 16 Peter: 16 Edward: 17 James: 18 Rosalie: 21 Emmett: 22

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

This story will be in two parts.

Enjoy!

Jasper's POV

I was 13 when I got my first crush. Well, unless you counted my best friend, Alice, but that was just a pre-school thing.

Maria.

That was her name. Alice and my sister, Rose, told me that she was nothing but bad news. They told me how there was only one thing she wanted from a guy; the same thing most guys only wanted from her but me? I wanted to be with her. I wanted us to become a couple but now I think back on it, it's rather ridiculous. I was only a young teenager and young relationships never last. We hadn't even got in a relationship but she must have heard about my crush on her or I made it a little obvious by the way I looked at her as one day, I found myself being pushed into a janitors closet and boom….there goes my virginity and the early age of 13.

Unfortunately, having sex with somebody 3 years younger than you is a risk of having your reputation ruined so within the next week, I found myself lying in my house besides my dead parents with three stab wounds to my body and I barely managed to keep my eyes open as I watched my crush light the match and set the house on fire.

Yep, life's a bitch and apparently, so was Maria.

I remember waking up in hospital. They told me I had been in a coma for two weeks and that I now had burns to my skin, some that won't heal. I was questioned about the incident; asked if I knew or had any suspicions as to who did it. Maria had made the biggest mistake by stabbing me. That just made it obvious that it was personal. I didn't tell anybody about Maria, though. I have my reasons.

My sister had travelled all the way to Fork's just to visit me. She was living in a place of her own with her boyfriend Emmett but now she is living here. Why, you ask?

Because at the time, I was being a pussy and broke down in front of her because I didn't want to live with her all those miles away from Alice. I needed her. So Rosalie had given in and now she just lived down the street from the Cullen's.

They were very nice and welcoming people; especially since I was round their house almost every day of the week. Edward was best friends with my soon to be 'brother in law', Carlisle was the doctor who saved my life after the fire incident and Esme is the one who treats me like I was her own son. Perhaps she suspected that Alice and I would soon be a couple just because we were best friends and the opposite sex. I doubt that would happen though.

The thing is, something happened two weeks ago and it gave me an idea as to how to get on with life without having to never think twice about Maria.

Two weeks ago

I was hanging out with Peter, another great friend of mine although I don't nearly spend enough time with him like I do with Alice. Unfortunately, Alice had a dentist check-up appointment so I couldn't hang out with her so I was with Peter instead.

I don't like spending much time at home because Rosalie and Emmett are 'busy' almost all the time and it gets a little annoying. I really don't want to hear my sister 'doing' it with her boyfriend.

"Thanks again for helping me, Jay. It's always easier when you explain it" Peter thanked with a smile.

He was looking at me like that again. It was a look I sometimes saw with Alice but it just looked rather weird with Peter. Why did his eyes keep flickering to my lips?

"You're welcome, Peter" I answered back.

I smiled back and looked back down at the school homework that I had helped him with, feeling rather anxious under his gaze. When I looked up at him again, he was still watching me.

"What?" I asked with a smirk.

"Can I try something?" He whispered.

I looked at him in confusion. "Sure" I replied quietly.

I hadn't expected what happened next. He leaned over and suddenly pressed his lips against mine. I didn't understand what was happening. I hadn't realised that Peter played for the other team; that he was even interested in me. I wanted to pull away, tell him that this wasn't me but something stopped me.

Ever since the Maria incident, I haven't been able to look at females the same way. I don't see them as who they are, I see them as a dark haired devil with that manipulating smirk. Alice and Rosalie were the only females that I see as normal people. Rosalie was my sister and Alice was taken.

If I couldn't have the one female that I ever had a chance with, then I couldn't have any female at all. Perhaps this is how it was supposed to be. With that thought, I began to kiss Peter back, using my hand to pull him closer to me.

He started to push his tongue into my mouth and I, knowing what was expected of me, accepted it. As Peter realised that I was giving in, he pushed me back onto his bed as he climbed on top so that he was straddling my waist. He leaned in again and sped up our kissing as it became more desperate. My hand moved into his hair and in contrast, his hand moved down south palming me and I felt my cock grow in response. I groaned in his mouth as he continued to kiss. I bucked against him as his hands were massaging me over my jeans. The denim fabric was bothering the both of us and he must have noticed that as he pulled away from us so that he could undo my belt buckle. He watched in pleasure as my member sprung out and a small smile appeared on his mouth.

Peter wrapped his hand around my length and began to massage it; his lip once again returning to mine, desperately kissing me. It had been odd how easily it had been for Peter to turn me on. It could either be that I could possibly be bisexual or it might have something to do with how desperate my cock was for release.

I tended to avoid masturbation. I only did it when I really needed to as whenever I did, I felt rather shameful because it always reminded me of the first hard on I ever got. It involved Alice and a dream like the moment that I was having right now.

But Alice has a boyfriend and he is two years older than she is. I know that the majority of women prefer older guys. Hence why I know I stand no chance. But still I have the occasional disturbing thought where Alice is the one with her hand wrapped around my hard member. It even annoyed me when I had an image of Alice's mouth around me. God, I'm so sick. And here I am trying to convince myself that Alice is my best friend and that I don't view her any more than that.

It was Alice being on my mind that suddenly made me cum in Peter's hand. We shared a few more kisses before Peter left to get some tissues to clean up the mess I just made.

Present

It still disgusts me that even when I was being jacked off by somebody else, I was thinking about her; my best friend! It's just not right. And it just seems that the older I'm getting, the more that she is on my mind sexually. That's pretty much why I haven't seen Alice for a whole three days. It might sound ridiculous but it is the longest that we have been apart from each other and I could tell that she was worried about me because she was constantly ringing me but I didn't answer.

It was for her own good. I need some time away from her if I was going to get her off my mind like that. The last time I saw her, I simply 'came out' to her; revealing that I was interested in men. I know it wasn't true but it was something I would have to get used to. The strange thing was; she didn't even seem surprised. She just accepted it like I told her something she already knew.

Speaking of the devil, my phone began to ring by the bedside. I felt Peter change his position as he leaned on his side to look at me. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I'm hiding at Peter's and that is true because I feel like I can no longer hang out with Alice. I want to so, so much but it's for the best.

"Answer it, baby. She's worried about you" Peter whispered as he wrapped an arm around me.

We weren't officially a couple, I guess what was going on between us now was more of a comfort thing. Like I said, I'm lying here in Peter's bed and his parents don't even realise that he has company. Peter's parents aren't the worst people in the world but they are most certainly not the best. They weren't abusive but they were neglectful. They seemed to forget that they have a son.

I decided that there was no point in missing anymore calls from Alice. There was no point in worrying her.

"Hi Alice"

"Jazz? What the hell? Why didn't you tell me you have been at Peter's for what, 3 days now? I worried, Jasper. You always tell me where you are. And why haven't you been answering my calls?" She questioned, rushed.

"Alice I...I just needed to. Do you always have to worry about me? I mean, I already get enough of that from Rosalie" I replied, with a hint of annoyance on my voice.

"I know, Jazz but it's not something that I can help. You can't just tell me not to worry. Will I see you tomorrow?"

I sighed, knowing that she wouldn't like what she would hear. I know it hurts her and it hurts me, too.

"Jesus, Jasper! When will I see you again!?" She demanded for an answer.

I have never heard her so mad before.

"Alice, it's only been 3 days" I told her.

"Jasper, we have never gone more than 24 hours without seeing or at least speaking to each other" she pointed out.

"Yeah, well I guess I upped it then" I answered with a bit of attitude.

Perhaps if I annoyed her enough, she would just hang up on me and hate me enough to not worry.

"What is your problem? You're never like this"

I didn't know what to say to her. I guess I was stupid to think that I could stop her from worrying. We were just too close.

"I'm sorry. I'm just...I'm finding things really difficult at the moment" I admitted.

"Jazz, you know Rose can help you if you tell her" she suggested.

I highly disagreed with her. I told Alice about my 'sexuality' but I haven't told anybody else about it nor did I want to. It's very easy for Rosalie to hold a grudge against somebody so what if she's a homophobic? Rosalie and Alice are the only females I had left and I didn't want to lose either of them. Damn it, what was I doing? I shouldn't be avoiding Alice.

"No. No, Alice she cannot know. I swear, if you tell her anything..."

"Relax Jasper. If you don't want me to say anything then I won't but can you at least consider it?" She asked me.

I trust Alice with my life. I knew that if I didn't want her to tell anybody then she wouldn't but I still felt a little worried about the consequences.

"No! If she finds out then she would be disgusted; she would kick me out and I would end up on the streets. You want to know what would happen then? How I would get the money to keep myself alive? I would have to turn into some male prostitute which would make Rose even more disgusted with me and I might even lose you" I panicked.

Maybe I was exaggerating but then again, maybe I was just being cautious.

"Listen to me, Jasper; you will never lose me okay? Rose will do no such thing but whatever happens, know that I'm here for you. Always" She promised.

God I loved how soft her voice was.

"Okay, just give me time, yeah?"

"Alright Jazz, just speak to me soon k? I miss you"

"I miss you too, Alice" I whispered back before I hung up the phone.

I sighed and leaned my head back onto the pillow with Peter watching. I closed my eyes and tried to relax; maybe that would help me get her off my mind.

"You shouldn't be here" Peter said quietly.

I opened my eyes and looked at him; raising my eyebrows, expecting him to explain what he was talking about.

"She loves you" he replied simply before he, too, rest his head against the pillow.

I chuckled, knowing that it was bullshit. We were just friends. How many times would I have to explain that to people? For crying out loud, she has a boyfriend! Some dickhead called James who is a whole two years older than her and is only wanting one thing, the same thing that Maria wanted from me. A game of fuck the virgin. How do you play, you ask? You simply fuck them and leave them. As far as I know, she is still a virgin. I don't want her to feel the filth that I felt.

"I'm serious, Jasper. You don't realise it and maybe she doesn't either but it's there and it's obvious to everyone" Peter explained.

I rolled my eyes and turned to my side so that I couldn't see him.

"I have made it pretty clear to you that I'm gay" I muttered before closing my eyes.

"Jasper, letting a guy jack you off doesn't make you gay. That makes me gay" he stated.

For some reason that annoyed me. I was gay whether I liked it or not. I turned around and glared at him before I moved closer to him and slipped my hands underneath his boxers and wrapped a hand around him. He looked at me rather confused.

"Would it be enough proof if I used my mouth?" I whispered seductively.

Jasper aged 13

My body jolted up from my sleep as I heard two gunshots. Gunshots? I began to panic as I could hear muffled voices coming from down stairs. That didn't sound like my parents. I quietly moved out of my bed and slowly opened my door as I near the stairs. I crouch down so that I could carefully here the voices.

"That's only two of them. Jasper's the main one and he's the one that you're failing to find. Search for him now".

It was a female voice and she mentioned my name. She knows me. The voices were in whispers so I didn't recognize her voice but I'm sure that if I saw her, I would know her, too.

"Give us time, Maria; we haven't searched upstairs yet" spoke another female.

Maria was here? Why? I panicked. She had brought her friends this time. I didn't understand why. All it took was a push in the janitors closet to give her what she wanted. I wanted to lose my virginity to somebody special but even though I did have a crush on Maria, I hadn't wanted her to do what she did and I hate her for that.

I hate her for coming back for more. Just a day after having sex with me she told me that I should follow her home and, me having the pathetic schoolboy crush that I still had, followed her. By the time we had been at her house, she pushed me onto her bed and claimed me a second time. That time, however was blackmailed. She told me that I was 'a fun fuck' but I protested, I told her that I didn't want to and then she brought Alice into it, saying how if I didn't do what she wanted, she would burn Alice's house to the ground.

When it came to Alice, I would do anything for her.

But I didn't understand why she was here now. Why was she looking for me? I backed away from the staircase as I heard one of the girls coming up the stairs; probably Lucy or Nettie.

"Search the bedrooms first; he might be sleeping" one of them whispered.

Thankful for their unknown warning, I quietly moved into the bathroom and to my luck, the door was already open. I saw Lucy walk past me and made her way into my parent's bedroom as Nettie went into my own room. Once they had disappeared, I walked out of the bathroom and slowly went down the stairs. Where were my parents?

As I reached the bottom of the staircase, I looked towards the main room and the sight made me shiver as well as fill me with rage. Both of my parents were lying on the floor; their blood staining the carpet. I screamed and ran towards them, completely forgetting the fact that I only saw two of the females on the second floor.

As I crouched down by my mother, tears instantly fell from my eyes and dripped down my cheeks. I was so focused on my emotional pain that I forgot to notice the sound of foot steps behind me followed by physical pain as a sharp object cut through my shoulder. I screamed in agony and all of a sudden, Maria had me pinned to the floor.

"Why? I did what you asked" I cried.

She pulled a knife out of my shoulder and then stabbed my abdomen, feeling another wave of pain.

"I couldn't take the risk, Jasper. How do I know that you wouldn't go to the police claiming that I raped you?" She questioned.

"You didn't rape me. I agreed, remember" I whimpered.

I agreed to save Alice.

"Oh please, Jasper. I'm 16 and I had sex with an under-aged boy; police class that as rape. You are way too close to that little friend of yours so it's only a matter of time before you mention it to her and when you do, she will tell the police every little detail" she explain heartlessly.

"I wouldn't; I swear" I begged for my life.

My body stung like hell as she pulled out the knife for a second time and then stabbed me just above my waist on the right side. I heard the other two girls walk into the room, and my eyes close but I didn't miss the evil smiles the other two wore on their faces. I felt Maria's breath on my ear.

"I really did like you, Jasper and we really had fun together but if I can't have you, neither can that little bitch who definitely has a crush on you" she whispered. "Alright guys, lets light this place up. If we burn the bodies, the police will have no proof that this was a murder scene" she spoke louder.

I once asked myself what would be the worst way to die and my answer came out quick; burning alive. When you burn yourself, it lasts a quick second before you quickly flinch back from the hot object. If you're body was on fire, you couldn't stop the horrible pain and you would have to wait it out until your body can't take no more. To be honest, I was glad that Maria had stabbed me three times. By the time this place is up in flames, I would have already bled to death; at least I hope so.

I felt pressure on my lips and I was sure that Maria had just kissed me. Not long after, my thoughts faded as I disappear into darkness.

I screamed myself awake, backing myself up against the wall that the bed was up against. I was gasping for air as if life had almost been taken from me; just like my parents. I hated this. When would these dreams end?

"Hey, it's okay, Jasper. You're in my room, you're safe" Peter calmed.

I nodded at him although the worry in his face didn't disappear. He put his hand on my cheek as he wiped a tear that had obviously fallen during my dream. Peter knew as much as Alice about that night; that I saw one guy in a mask as he stabbed me and then set fire to the house. I hadn't told the police much about what happened as I claimed that I didn't know who he was but I assured them it was a male. If they found out that it was a female that almost killed me and successfully killed my parents, they would realise how weak I was.

Alice always told me how strong I was. She is wrong. She knows nothing.

Is it wrong that Alice thinks that I tell her everything? I didn't want her to know the truth about the fire. If she ever found out, there was a possibility that Maria might come back and hurt her. I wouldn't let that happen; I just couldn't. I would prefer it if Alice would think I'm gay because she would get suspicious if I wasn't but refused to date females. Alice always has to know everything so if she was to get the smallest bit suspicious, she would look into it and I couldn't risk that for her sake.

Why did life have to be so damn complicated?

I knocked on the Cullen's door nervously. Usually, Esme or Edward would answer but they didn't seem to be in. The whole place sounded very quiet. I was just about to walk away when the door suddenly opened.

"Oh my god!" A familiar voice spoke excitedly.

I smiled at her, showing my dimples that I knew she liked. She pulled me into a hug; a reaction I hadn't quite expected. I thought she would shout at me; yell at how stupid I was being for ignoring her.

"Er..I thought you would be angry at me. I guess the smile does work, huh" I said, rather stunned.

I suddenly caught sight of the one person I hate to be in the presence of. I tensed and pulled away from Alice knowing that I would probably end up getting a beating just because she embraced me. James. I fucking hated him. I glared as he did the same in return. Knowing I had his attention, he put his arm around Alice's waist and spoke near her ear, but loud enough so that I could hear.

"I didn't need to jump out of the window after all. So how is this friend of yours, Alice? Has he found a different girl to crush on yet?" James mocked.

Jump out of the window? Oh I get it, Alice's parents aren't in and when I rung the doorbell, they must have thought that I was them. Wait, did that mean that they were….no, don't think it!

"James, leave him" Alice pleaded.

James walked closer to me with a smirk. "You totally need to get laid"

After saying that, James, turned around and pulled Alice into a kiss. It was when he moved his hands to cup her ass when she realised that he was doing this to annoy me. She pushed him away, looking rather annoyed. James rolled his eyes and put his hands in his pockets.

He had no idea what he was saying when he told me to get laid. I wanted to take him out, hit him for saying that and then hit him more for taking advantage of Alice even though she was being too stupid to notice what was happening.

"So...you wanna come in?" Alice asked.

I didn't know what to say. I came here because I thought Alice wanted to see me but it seems like she has better things to do. I just shook my head at her and forced a smile.

"No, I….I should go. If I knew you were busy, I wouldn't have come here. I….I shouldn't have come here" I muttered before turning around and walking off.

What was I thinking in the first place?

"Jazz!" Alice called after me.

As I carried on walking, Alice ran out in front of me to stop me from walking.

"He's just leaving" she told me, glaring at James.

James got the message and smile smugly at me before he left. I watched him leave and once he was out of sight, I looked down at the grass.

"Spill it Jazz. What's bothering you?" She asked straight out.

I looked at her, studying her and her expressed emotions while wondering whether I should speak or not. I didn't want to make her mad but there was something I just needed to know and she wouldn't tell me unless I ask her.

"Are you fucking him?"

She was startled by the question but it didn't take her long to reply.

"A little personal, don't you think?" She bit back

"So you are" I stated.

After all, she wasn't denying it

"What? No I am not but that doesn't mean that I can't" She answered back, gaining a little attitude.

"Yes it does, Alice. You are 16 and he is 18! It isn't even legal. Just because he is ready, doesn't mean that you are. Why can't you see how much he is controlling you?" I asked rhetorically, getting a little mad.

"James is the controlling one? Ever since I have been in a relationship with him, you have done nothing but tell me what I can and cannot do with him. You're supposed to be my friend Jasper but I'm really getting to hate you"

I looked at her, hoping to find that look that tells me that she didn't mean it but it wasn't there. Hate is a strong word and that was just how my best friend described how she felt about me.

I once asked myself if it ever came to a life and death situation, would she choose me or James. The more the time goes by, the less I need to think about the answer. All childhood friends fade away until eventually they are no longer in your life. She was spending more and more time with that bastard. That made me angry to think about it. She was telling me how I was spending too much time away from her but I felt like she was the one that was spending less time with me.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" I whispered

I turned around and walked off without another word. I heard Alice call my name once again behind me but I just ignored her and sped up. I could feel the tears build up. God, why was I fucking crying? Why do I have to be such a fucking wimp?

"Jazz, wait! You can't leave. Not again….please" she whispered the last part.

I stopped but didn't turn around. Alice took advantage of this moment, as she carried on walking towards me. I used my wrist to wipe the tears that were forming in my eyes. I didn't want to show any weakness in front of her. Once she was within hearing distance, I began to speak.

"I'm just trying to protect you" I whispered.

I still refused to look at her as she turned me around and pulled me into another hug

"I know" she responded quietly.

I stayed round Alice's house and her mother, Esme and her brother, Edward, came back a little while later bringing in groceries. I helped bringing the bags in from the car to the house which Esme appreciated. It was just a small favour for her having to put up with me every time I was hanging out over their house.

Once my help was no longer needed, Alice and I walked into the lounge to find Edward sitting on a couch with a phone against his ear while watching some boring documentary.

"Are you even sure that's a good idea?...Yeah, he's here, I guess Rose is trying to mother him again...I know...You wanna talk to him?...Yeah whatever, I'll go but if Alice does, then there better not be alcohol... well fine but she doesn't get any. She's too young...no I'm not, I'm just being responsible...I gotta go now anyway because my sister is trying to eavesdrop but I know she's right behind me...yeah, I'll tell them. Bye"

Edward hung up the phone and turned around to look at us.

"A party at your place, huh?" He questioned as he smiled at me.

I looked back at him in confusion. "A party? There is no party"

What was he talking about?

"Emmett just invited me. He quoted 'it's about damn time the kid learnt how to smile without Alice around' so yeah" Edward informed.

I looked down at the ground as I felt blood rise to my cheeks. I didn't doubt for a second that those were Emmett's exact words. He was always teasing me about Alice but damn it, Edward, did he really have to say that while she was standing right next to me? When I was sure my cheeks returned to their normal colour again, my gaze returned to Edward's once more.

"Edward, you must be mistaken, Emmett would need Rosalie's permission to have a party at her house. She wouldn't let Emmett do that because she knows that I don't like crowds" I nervously spoke.

Rosalie usually appreciated the space that I needed, why would she stop now?

"Well FYI, he got her permission. Rosalie agreed that you should improve your socialising skills. Besides, many girls have been invited so you could finally get yourself a girlfriend" Edward teased.

I winced at the thought. He was right. Party meant girls. Oh god.

"How many girls?" I asked, getting more nervous by the minute.

Damn it, why do I have to make my fear so damn visible? They couldn't get suspicious. I tried to keep my face relaxed but it was really difficult to. Many girls mean many reminders of Maria.

"How am I supposed to know? Ask Emmett" Edward answered with a shrug.

No! If Emmett was the one who was giving out the invites, he would have invited a lot of girls. He's always going on about how I should man up and get a girlfriend which is just another reason why he would be bringing along a lot of single good looking women. What if he tells them that I'm looking for a relationship? What if they'll be all over me? I just couldn't handle it.

13 year old Jasper

My back was being pushed up against the door inside the janitor's closet. I was shaking, nervously. Wouldn't you if your crush suddenly began to seduce you unexpectedly?

"A little birdie told me you have a little thing for me. That's cute" Maria whispered in my ear.

I smiled sheepishly as I felt her hand on my growing bulge. She took my hand and pressed it against her ass. Her lips kissed my ear before she whispered into them again.

"I like big boys…..but I don't mind them young" she whispered seductively. "Take off your pants and boxers"

I did what she commanded since I was still dazed by the fact that my 16 year old crush was taking an interest in a looser like me..

"Now lay on the floor" she ordered.

I did so and she held a smirk as she began to take of her clothes. Once she was completely naked, she straddled my hips.

"Umm….Maria? Don't you think we're going a little too fast?" I asked nervously.

I know it tends to be a guy's mission to have sex with a girl at a young age so that he could brag about it to all of his friends but I wasn't that kind of person. She didn't seem to hear me as she placed my member inside her slowly. Once I was in, she began to move. God, that felt amazing. I decided not to protest and allowed my head to rest on the cold hard floor as she rode me.

I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my back and I gasped and turned around on panic.

"Jesus, Jasper. You scared the shit out of us" Edward stated.

I looked back at Alice and Edward who both wore worried expression. Alice was holding a bag of ice cubes. I closed my eyes and sighed. Damn it!

"What happened?" Alice whispered.

If I told her it was a flashback, she would ask what it was about. Oh, that was not something I was willing to discuss. That flashback was just a reminder that there were women out there that can make a guy forget who they really are just by being seduced.

"Erm….nothing…I err…spaced out" I stuttered.

Alice raised an eyebrow to tell me that she didn't believe me. Usually when she did that, I would tell her the truth but this is just another thing that I would have to keep a secret.

It was dark out now and I was still at the Cullen's. I didn't want to go home just yet because I was mad at Rose. How could she allow a party to happen? She knew I hated them! I was resting in the lounge, reading a book. I don't know where Alice had vanished off to but she was probably with Edward somewhere upstairs.

"Are you alright?"

My head shot up to see Alice's dad, Dr Cullen as he took a seat on the sofa opposite the one I was sitting on. He had finished work just about 30 minutes ago and as always, he wasn't at all surprised to see me. His question confused me at first but then I realised that either Alice or Edward must have told him about 'zoning out'. Alice and Edward seemed to think that just because their father was a doctor, he should know absolutely everything that's wrong with me. And to make matters worse, Dr Cullen really does get concerned about me. And he has been ever since Maria had put me in the hospital. It's almost as if he saw my lie when I told the cops that I had no idea who stabbed me.

Without saying a word, I just nodded my head at him and then I looked back down at the book that I was reading. I was hoping that he would just accept the answer and not ask anything about it but unfortunately for me, Dr Cullen wasn't that kind of guy.

"Edward told me that you blacked out a little while ago" he stated.

I shrugged, not bothering to look at him. I know it was rude but I didn't want to talk about it.

"Has it ever happened before?" He asked.

Wasn't his shift at the hospital over? Because it sure seemed like he was still in doctor mode. I shook my head at him. I was stupid if I thought that would stop him from worrying.

"Please, Jasper. Talk to me. It might even be linked to…..well, with what happened 2 years ago; perhaps PTSD or something similar. You should have a check up" he advised.

I closed my book and rapidly shook my head. "No, I'm fine. Rosalie's my guardian, not you. She deals with that stuff. Do you think I'm crazy? Because I'm not" I told him.

He had been my doctor for one time and now it's like he's my personal GP.

"I know you're not crazy but that doesn't mean that you're okay" he commented.

I thought I was never gonna get out of this but Alice miraculously saved the day as she walked on in and sat by my side.

"Hey, dad" she said, cheerfully.

She looked from me, to him and then to me again.

"Okay, I didn't say anything" she stated, referring to how Dr Cullen found out about what happened a few hours ago.

Dr Cullen pretty much left it at that; he obviously preferred private conversations. I went home earlier than I usually do though, deciding to miss out on Esme's great cooking. As soon as I neared the door to the house, I could hear Rosalie and Emmett talking.

"So how many are coming?" I could hear Rosalie ask.

"About 20"

That was Emmett. That reminded me of why I was mad in the first place. I rolled my eyes and barged into the house and ran upstairs into my room. This may be my sister's house but she had no right to do this to me. She knew I didn't like crowds, especially in one of the only places I feel safe; my home.

As soon as I was in my room, I put my music on full blast, knowing that Rosalie and Emmett weren't exactly the biggest fans of the stuff I play. I sat down on my bed, pulled my knees up to my chest and glared at the wall opposite.

I wasn't sure how long I had been glaring at it but I was brought back to earth when I suddenly realised that my music was being turned down. My eyes shot to the person who dared to enter my room; Rosalie. I watched her as she sat at the edge of my bed with a sigh.

"Jasper, if this is about the party…."

"I'm not going" I interrupted. "I'm staying around Peter's that night"

"No, this is for your own benefit, Jazz. Why don't you get Peter to come along?" Rosalie suggested.

I didn't want Peter to come along. That would just make matters worse. Rosalie was very good at observing people. It would take one look at Peter to know that there is something going on between us. She hasn't seen him in months.

"You hate Peter" I stated.

It was true, I could tell. She hated it when I told her I was going round Peter's but I was never sure why.

"No I d…Well maybe but it's not about me. It's about you" she said.

"If it was about me, then why is there so many people going? Other than Alice, I don't want any of the other girls there" I complained.

"Why? If I don't bring any girls, none of the guys will go" She told me.

That was the point. No girls means no guys and no guys means no party; exactly what I wanted.

"Exactly" I mumbled.

I noticed Rosalie roll her eyes at me. Of course she would; she doesn't understand.

"Will James be there?" I suddenly asked.

I hoped he wouldn't be. The house being crowded was already too much but James scared the shit out of me although I would never admit that out loud.

"Emmett invited him so if Alice's is going then I guess he would too" she told me honestly.

Fuck! It just reminded me of what I saw earlier on today. The way James made it obvious to me that the two of them were a couple and that I didn't stand a chance. Like I didn't already know that. But this is a party and people have sex at parties. I could already tell what was going to happen and I wouldn't let it.

"Alice isn't going. I'll make sure she won't" I stated, darkly.

"What? Jasper, you can't force her to not go" Rose argued.

"Well it's either I force her not to do something or James forces her to do something" I snapped. "Don't you get it, Rose? This is a party we're talking about. A party with teenage boys and girls and they all want one thing and you want to know what that thing is? Sex. If Alice goes to that party and James is there, he'll end up sneaking her off to one of our rooms and he'll talk her into doing it. She'll want to make him happy" I explained stressfully.

I noticed instantly the sympathetic look that she wore on her face. She probably thinks that this is all out of jealousy; that I have some huge crush on her but I don't…..not really. I was worried about her and although she was slightly older than me, she was still too young to do what was expected of her.

"I'll keep a good eye on them, okay? Besides, as long as you're there, she'll stay with you" she replied.

I shook my head doubtfully.

"James will find a way to separate me from Alice; he always does. It's only a matter of time before she would stop hanging out with me. It will be the only way that she can prove to him that she isn't cheating on him or anything. He thinks that Alice likes me more than a friend which is why he hates me" I explained.

"Alice would never do that to you. You two have been close friends since forever. She won't allow James to change that just because he's her idiot boyfriend. In fact, you shouldn't allow it either. Learn to stand up to him and if you can't do that, at least talk to Alice about how you feel about the position you're in" Rose advised.

I scoffed at her. Option one was out of the question; if I stood up to James, he would beat the shit out of me and I wouldn't be surprised if he left me for dead. And then there was option two….well I did talk to Alice about it earlier today but that didn't exactly work out. I just gave her the answer I knew she wanted to hear.

"Okay" I mumbled.

"So, you're gonna attend the party, right?" Rosalie asked.

It wasn't like I had a choice, I already had her hopes up. I just answered with a shrug.

"I don't want Peter to go" I said bluntly.

"Why? Have you two fallen out or something?" Rose questioned.

God, why did she have to keep questioning me! It was just so frustrating!

"No! No-one can know that….." I suddenly stopped and looked away regretfully.

I have said too much.

"No one can know what?" Rose asked suspiciously.

"Nothing" I muttered quickly. "Just forget it. I'll be there" I brushed off.

Saying that should just make her happy and then she'll get the fuck out of my room. Unfortunately, my sister was a stubborn bitch.

"No, Jasper, tell me" she demanded.

"Fuck off, Rose. It's none of your fucking business" I snapped at her.

I knew it annoyed her when I swore. She swore all the time but we were like bipolar opposites. I rarely ever cursed unless I felt like it was necessary but I was mad right now.

"Well I'm sure you would have already told Alice. You know, it annoys me that you can tell her things that you can't tell your own fucking sister" she snapped back at me.

And that did it. It was pretty clear that no matter what I said, she wouldn't leave me alone. And how dare she? Alice was my best friend and I felt more comfortable talking to her than I did with Rosalie. Perhaps if she wasn't sucking Emmett's face all day, I would have opened up to her more. I got off my bet and walked out of my bedroom, rushing down the stairs and opened the front door.

"You have got to be kidding me, Jasper. You have just got back" Rose commented, annoyed. "Where are you going?"

"Peter's" I mumbled before leaving the house.

I could hear her run out of the house after me. When would she leave me alone?

"Jasper, get back here" she shouted at me.

I turned around in anger.

"You're doing it again, Rose! Stop controlling me. I have a life of my own!" I shouted at her.

With that, I began to run.

I already have the second part completed but I'm gonna need reviews to convince me that the second part is worth putting up.

Also, I haven't read through yet so let me know if you spotted any obvious mistakes, thanks. I will read through when I get the time.

For those who have read the story version, do you prefer this or that?

REVIEW!