Kenopsia

"Mother!" Castle calls out at her side, the rubble and the dust making him hoarse. His words scratch, Kate shifts her shoulders inside of her vest and stays a step ahead of him, shielding him from the worst of it with her body. If there's-

She wants to have the chance to turn him away before he can see anything that will crush him, steal the very last of his innocence. Beckett is so terribly aware of how these things can stick with you; even just a crime scene photo can fuel a nightmare and a crusade. And whatever it takes, whatever she has to do, she won't let that happen to him. "Martha?"

"Mother?" Her partner grits out again, but as they round the corner towards the back rooms of the bank, the smoke is thinner and Beckett no longer has to squint to see her way.

"Richard!"

Oh, thank god. Kate's knees sag, just a little, and she turns over her shoulder to see the crowd of SWAT officers behind them. Perhaps a mistake, to open herself up to the barrels of so many guns, but she pushes it back and nods at Castle. "They're here."

From the floor of the safe deposit box room, Martha lifts her hand and gives them as much of a wave as she can manage with her wrists bound together. Next to Beckett, Castle fumbles for her hand and squeezes hard, his face still like ash. It will take a while for the adrenaline to leave his system; she can give him the grip of her fingers if that's what he needs.

"I knew you'd come through, darlings." Castle's mother grins at them. She looks remarkably composed, all things considered, and Kate manages to smile right back even with panic still clawing at her ribcage. It was just. . .too close. Too much.

Castle drops to his knees next to his mother, hands shaking as he reaches out to take hold of hers, and Beckett kneels next to her partner, her fingers fluttering over his thigh as if to soothe him. It seems to work; at the very least, he manages to tear his eyes away from his mom and look at her. "Do you have something to get her out of these?"

"Oh, yeah. Here." She hands him her knife, free hand still resting at his knee as he cuts his mother out of the zip ties. Martha rotates her wrists slowly, but there doesn't seem to be any damage and then she's smiling at the two of them, wide enough to crease around her eyes.

"I knew you two would get us out of here. There's nothing the two of you can't tackle together."

Beckett's cheeks flame and she dips her head, but she doesn't move her fingers away from the material of Castle's jeans, even under Martha's pointed gaze. Protestations rise in her throat about how much the cops were really able to do here - the bank did blow up, after all - but she swallows them back and smiles for Castle's mother, offering her arm to help Martha to her feet.

"I'm very glad you're okay."

"Thank you, Kate. And- thanks for taking care of my son."

Turning over her shoulder, Beckett sees that her partner is busy freeing the rest of the hostages from their binds and she stares at her shoes, cheeks on fire again. "He would do the same for me."

"Yes." Martha touches two fingers to Kate's bicep, waits for her gaze to be met, and Kate straightens her spine so she doesn't wither underneath it. "He would. Darling, you know it came very close today. Richard could very easily have been a hostage with me. And then what?"

"I would have gotten him out." She blurts, chewing on her bottom lip as if that will retract her statement, but Martha only smiles at her. Just the thought of it, Castle trapped in here, makes her knees give and she sways on her feet, sucks in a breath through her teeth. The fire that licked at her veins today and pushed her to keep Martha safe would have burned her alive if it had been him.

A sigh, and then Castle's mother drops her hand from Kate's arm and folds her own. "Kate, honey. What are you doing here?"

"Martha, I-"

"I could have died today. And the one thought that was plaguing me was that although my son is so very happy working with you, he could be much happier. You both could."

Oh jeez. She can't do this now, not with her heart so terribly vulnerable. "I don't-"

"I'm not saying you have to make any decisions now, just please think about it. Don't waste the time you have." Martha says, and then an older gentleman with a name badge approaches them and offers his arm to Castle's mother, leads her towards the bank's exit and Kate is left petrified, chewing on Martha's words.

How many more close encounters can they scrape through before the universe gives up on them? She presses her palm to her forehead to soothe away her frown and closes her eyes, her heart still thrashing wildly against the confines of her vest. The curl of fingertips around her shoulder makes her jolt and she bites down on her tongue, wincing as she spins around to face her partner. "Castle."

"You okay? What was my mother saying to you?"

"She was thanking me for helping you, actually." Kate huffs a laugh, shaking her head, but the look on his face stops her cold. His tenderness is like a sledgehammer to her guts, the upwards curl of his mouth setting her alight with shame. How little she deserves this man.

He hesitates for a moment, but Beckett holds his eyes and lets him see that it's okay. Whatever it is he wants to do, it's okay with her. She came much too close to losing him today. Castle curls a hand around the back of her neck and draws her in against him; in her flat shoes she's considerably shorter, and his lips brush over her forehead. "I couldn't have gotten through today without you."

"Yes you could. You could."

"You make everything easier."

He doesn't mean to say it, she knows. His entire body goes still and Kate slips her arms around his waist in reassurance, wishing she could feel the warmth of him through her vest. She doesn't ever want him to feel guilty for needing her, wanting her, because she is drowning under the weight of her own feelings and she wants him with her.

"So do you, Castle." A kiss to the base of his throat, because it's right there and she so very nearly lost him today. She's still shaking with it, still feels like she might stumble or fall down. "Now. Come on. Let's go find out what happened."

It guts her to step out of his arms, feels like the raw scrape of salt and grit, but Beckett squares her shoulders and strides through the rubble with her partner at her back. Once again, she has to put away the magnitude of her feeling for him. Can't allow it to compromise her job. But this time. This time, it's a temporary thing. She can't do this for very much longer, hold herself back from him. Not when even his mother can see how monumentally stupid that is.

In the concourse of the bank people crowd and push together, cops and hostages alike, and Beckett and Castle come up on Captain Peterson, find him surveying the scene. "Everybody accounted for?"

The man from earlier is here, Martha still on his arm, and Kate swallows her laughter at the grimace on her partner's face. It makes him petulant, like a little boy, and she does her best to ignore her wholly ridiculous urge to mother him.

"We're all here. We're all okay." Martha's, uh. . .companion assures the captain, but something is still niggling at Kate. Something off about this whole thing.

Castle feels it too, she can tell. He's too quiet, the kind of quiet he gets when his brain is rolling over, and any moment she's expecting some sort of crazy theory from him. "Sir, what happened to the robbers?"

"They're dead. They blew themselves up."

It's like the slap of a frigid wind, icy shock running rivulets down her spine. She was hoping to drag their suspects down to the precinct and find out exactly what is going on here. And now it seems any explanation has died right along with them. "What?"

"Apparently the explosive was C4. It was part of their exit strategy. They blasted a hole straight through the bottom of the vault and opened up the ceiling on an abandoned subway station below. Smart plan if they didn't screw it up. They must've triggered the explosion before they took cover and they killed themselves."

"Oh." Martha gasps, a hand flying up to cover her mouth, but something about that just doesn't sit right with Beckett.

"It's not possible. C4, it's a stable explosive. It wouldn't go off accidentally, and these guys weren't dime store bandits. They were trained; they were military precision. They- they wouldn't set off an explosion prematurely." Castle's face creases in concern, and Beckett is suddenly swamped with relief. Her partner will back her up, no matter what.

She needs it; Peterson is as gruff and unrelenting as ever. "Really? I got an assortment of body parts that tells me they did."

Her partner turns to look at her, always seeking her opinion, and Kate exchanges a frown with him. Martha glances between them, but his mother's nature means she can just accept the happy outcome of the hostages remaining safe and not dwell on the why and how of it. Not like Castle and Beckett do. Regardless, there's nothing to be done about it in the shell of a crumbling bank. "Let's get out of here."

Outside, glass and plaster crunch underneath the soles of Rick's shoes and he winces, gives up trying to sidestep the debris. He and his mother lead one of the bank employees, a pregnant woman, through the chaos as carefully as they can manage, but most of Castle's focus is on Kate a little ways in front. Still in the paramedic uniform from earlier and with her vest over the top it does things to him that he'd rather not dwell on.

She beckons for some of the real paramedics to come and meet them, help the woman on Castle's arm to an ambulance, and then his mother is exchanging phone numbers with the bank manager and Kate disappears in the crowd of emergency services and everything is washed clean, cut through at the sight of his daughter struggling her way past the police cordon.

In all of the hubbub, and in his distraction with trying to keep both Beckett and his mother safe, he sort of. . .forgot she was here.

"Alexis." He breathes, wishing his daughter weren't here for this, but she's already barrelling her way into his arms. He catches her, the shock of her body making him take a step backward, and he clutches his daughter close to his chest and buries his face in her hair.

Another set of arms come around them and Rick opens his eyes, presses a kiss to his mother's forehead. Against his shoulder, he feels the work of his daughter's cheek into a smile and he untangles himself from the hug, turns around to find Kate watching them.

The tenderness and the longing on her face cleaves him in two; Rick strides across the forecourt, claims Beckett's hand and leads her back to the group hug before she can muster a protest. His mother and his daughter don't seem at all surprised, and he's grateful to see that Alexis' arms slip around Kate's waist with ease. He knows his daughter hasn't been happy with Kate since the summer, but hopefully those wounds are starting to heal.

He lets her go, watches her catch Esposito's eyes and - shame cuts him through - he leaves his daughter with her grandmother to follow Kate over to the boys.

"We heard all the suspects are dead." Ryan says and that fearsome frown comes over her face again, her head shaking.

Hands stuffed into her pockets, Beckett stands her ground as if she thinks she'll get the same rebuttal from her team as she did from Peterson. Silly woman. Doesn't she know by now how much they all love her? How they will follow her blindly wherever her crusade takes them.

"Guys, none of this makes any sense. An old lady is killed for her safe deposit box key, which her dead husband accesses every month? And then this." She jerks her thumb towards to the blown-out husk behind her, chewing on the inside of her lip. "There's something that we're missing. What were you saying about Agnes Fields' last surviving relative?"

"Former son-in-law, Ron Brandt. Left a message, but he does a lot of business overseas, he might not even be in the country." Ryan pulls out his phone to show Beckett a picture of the son-in-law and Castle leans in close at her side, takes a look. "He's listed at a penthouse on the upper east side, so we can go check out-"

There's no flare of recognition there, but next to him Beckett stiffens and takes the phone from Ryan. "Wait, that's - that's the son-in-law?"

"Yeah, why?"

"This was one of the hostages. He was having a seizure and. . .oh, god." Beckett pulls out her cell and dials, turns half away from them as she speaks to whomever is on the other end of the line. "This is Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. I'm checking in on a patient that came in from a bank robbery. His name is Sal Martino." She pauses, turns back to meet Rick's eyes. "What? He did?"

She hangs up, and a little flare of indignation comes to life in Rick's belly. Still, after almost three years working with the cops he can't quite get over the abruptness of some of their conversations. "He checked himself out against medical advice. He's gone. It was him. He orchestrated this whole thing."

Heart in her throat, Kate listens to the silence on the other end of the line, waiting for the Ithaca police to let her know the outcome of the arrest. All three of her boys crowd around her desk, staring at her, and she jolts a little when a voice comes over the line.

"What?" Relief floods her system as the man on the other end of the phone explains that everything went well, that they've got their guy. "Okay. Thanks."

She hangs up and turns back around to face the guys, takes a second to breathe before she can get the words out. "They found them."

"Yes." Castle grins, his hands pressed together as if in prayer and her whole silly self goes soft for him and how much he cares about the victims. How huge his heart is.

"Tanya's gonna need a few stitches, but Connor's okay."

"Come on, let's go pick him up." Espo says, a punch to Ryan's arm and he's striding away, his partner's complaints falling on deaf ears. Beckett watches them go, her heart molten with how much she loves these three guys. Her team, her partners.

And, well. Castle is so much more than that, isn't he? Time to be brave. "Hey, Old Haunt? I'll buy you a drink."

"No, Kate." He says gently, but he's smiling at her, so good that his rebuttal doesn't even hurt, barely glances her. "My mother has cooked dinner for us, to thank us for saving her. I was told not to take no for an answer."

"Oh." Her cheeks flame and her brain careens to a halt. Sometimes she forgets that Castle isn't just Rick. That with him comes a mother and a daughter and a whole family. It's part of the reason Kate has left her heart to thrash in a cage of her own making. She doesn't want to try something and then lose it, and lose Martha and Alexis too.

Well. She didn't. Now, with his mother's words still rolling over and over in her brain, she knows it's time to stop pretending. Stop pushing back the truth of how she feels. So when Castle stands up from his chair and holds out her jacket for her, she lets him help her slip into it, shivers at the brush of his fingers to her nape. And then, because the precinct is empty and nobody is watching, she takes his hand and laces their fingers together, walks at his side all the way to the elevator.

This morning - only this morning - the thing that saved him from being in the bank with the other hostages was her need. She needs him, so terribly much, and she had thought for a long time that that was a bad thing, a scary thing. And then this morning, her need saved him. So how can she turn her face away from it now?

In the elevator car, Castle glances at her from the corner of his eye once, twice, and on the third time she huffs a laugh and turns to look at him, an eyebrow lifted. "What?"

"No, nothing. I just. . .what are we doing?" He lifts their joined hands between them, squeezes her fingers as if he's worried she might try to untangle herself. Far, far too late for that.

Kate takes a moment to think about it. She doesn't want to make light of this. not when it's so enormous. "We're holding hands, Castle. And then we're going to have dinner with your family, and after that? Let's just see what happens."

"Okay." He half-whispers, a smile blooming over his whole face that she can't help but echo. Kate would do well to remember how easy it is to make him happy. He's quite content with the little things, just baby steps, and here she is ready to leap.

Their journey to the loft fills up with chatter, light and teasing. Banter darts back and forth between them, their usual repartee, but in the back of the cab Castle sits in the middle seat instead of his own and his palm curves over her knee, his thumb stroking over the smooth edge of bone. Even through her jeans, it makes her shiver and bite down hard on the inside of her cheek.

Inside Castle's home, his mother exclaims her delight and pulls Beckett into a hug, spinning her around and letting her go before she even fully registers what's happening. Castle chuckles behind her, that low and delicious baritone, but she finds herself ushered to the table by Martha before she can do anything about the wash of pure and lovely arousal low down in her belly. The table heaves with food and Kate laughs, folding her jacket over her arm. "Oh, wow, Martha. You really outdid yourself."

"I did. Facing death demands celebrating life. Tonight, we feast." Martha clasps her hands, glancing between the two of them. Castle takes a tiny step sideways, another, and then his arm slides around her waist and he brings her in against his side. His mother says nothing, but her eyes flare with joy and she nods. "I'll go and let Alexis know that dinner is ready. You two help yourselves to the wine."

"Can I pour you a glass?" Castle holds the wine up for her to see and she smiles for him, reaching for a glass from the table and holding it out towards him. He pours a generous glass for each of them and Kate sips at hers, relishes the tart burst of flavour. "I want to thank you again for saving my mother's life."

Beckett still doesn't feel like she really did anything except watch helplessly, but she can accept his gratitude if only for the way it makes her want to kiss him and show him her own. "There's no need, Castle. We're partners. And I love your mother and Alexis."

He chokes on a breath and she sees his brain working frantically, trying to determine exactly what she means. Because yes, she loves him too. And she isn't quite ready to tell him that, not just yet, but that doesn't mean she can't show him.

"We love you too." He says, and now it's her turn to forget how to breathe, her turn to feel joy bursting in her stomach. "Here, sit."

She sinks gratefully into the chair he pulls out for her, sipping at her wine again and smiling at him from over the rim of her glass. His mother and daughter return to serve up the last of the food and Kate closes her eyes, breathes deeply. It's been such a long time since she had a meal like this, with family and laughter and not just her and her father squeezed into a booth at their favourite diner.

It's wonderful, and Kate has to blink back the hot press of silly tears. The girls don't seem to notice, too busy serving the duck for everyone, but Castle reaches for her hand underneath the table and captures it, keeps it tight in his own. Strangely enough, it does help.

The food is wonderful, however much he might complain about his mother's culinary talents, or lack thereof, and Kate eats as much as her still-nervous stomach can handle. Since the shooting she's been eating like a bird; she didn't miss the shock in Castle's face when he saw her again, saw her sallow skin and the sharp slashes of her cheekbones.

They insist on clearing away the dishes, she and Castle, and it's so very domestic to be passing things back and forth in his kitchen, bumping her hip against his as she fills the dishwasher. She half expects the panic to grip at her throat, choke her, but it never comes.

Once they're done, Martha and Alexis suspiciously scarce, he brings her with him over to the couch and she follows him into sinking, propping herself up with an arm at the back. It reminds her of earlier this year, in Los Angeles, but this time she's buoyant with stupidly expensive wine and she doesn't have a convenient excuse in Josh and she knows for sure that Castle is in love with her.

"Hey." He grins, stroking a fingertip down the length of her forearm. "You were amazing today, you know. The way you kept your cool when you were speaking to the robbers. I couldn't have done that."

"It's my job." She shrugs, tries to play it down, but they both know that it was so much more than that. It was her, doing anything it took to keep his heart safe, to shelter him from the loss of a mother.

"And you excel at it."

Kate lifts her head to meet his eyes, and suddenly her smile falls away. He's watching her so intently, waiting for his next cue, and there's so much she wants to give him. So much they could have easily lost today. "Well. I do have a pretty great partner."

"Pretty great?" He scoffs at her, puffing up his chest, and she can't help herself. Kate traces the lines of his pectoral muscles through his shirt, watches them jump and quiver under her touch. His eyes turn molten, thunderclouds, and she swallows.

This is the look that tugs her out of dreams sometimes. A look she saw once in an alleyway, right before a kiss that roared in her bones, still makes her tremble to think of. "The perfect partner."

She gets even less warning than the last time. No hand at her cheek, just the snap of his self-control and the tumble of his body into hers. Her mouth opens for him, takes his kiss, and her hands fist in the collar of his shirt. His kiss is tentative, exploratory, and when he breaks away it's only to rest his forehead at hers and breathe her name. "Is this okay?"

"Yes. Don't stop." She murmurs, and his teeth claim her bottom lip. His tongue slicks through her mouth and she groans, brings a knee up to curl over his thigh. His hand comes to keep her there, fingers digging into her flesh, and her hips rock entirely without her conscious input.

"You have to tell me, Kate." He gasps when they break apart, the skin at her neck still burning with his touch. "Tell me."

"I need you, Castle."

Complete