Her sweet face, it's what I prefere to wake up to. She is there, looking at me intensely; she came back today.  I can see the sadness in her beautiful eyes.  Oh, if only she knew… if only…

Bosco: Hey.

Faith: How are you feeling today?

Bosco: Better.

I don't tell that I'm feeling good; if I was good I would not be here, trying to fight against my feelings, against my nightmares, against me.

Faith: I need to ask you something. The doctor that came the other day, he said that your actions…

Bosco: My actions…?

Why is she talking about my "actions" like they were something irrelevant?  On the contrary, it seemed to me and still seems to me, that it was the best thing to do.  Maybe it was a dumb solution, a coward's solution, but it was made for me, because I'm a coward.  I preferred to run away from reality rather than confront it.  And God knows how times I must confront it, because of my mother, because of my brother….  But this time I didn't have the strength, I still don't.

Bosco: Is it so hard to call it a suicide attempt? 

My voice was firmer that I was expected, not that it's a bad thing.  Maybe it will help her to understand…

Faith: Well, Marvin told us that it was linked to somebody close to you; that you did it because of what someone said or did.

Why now?  I preferred it when she avoided asking me questions, THE question.  What am I suppose to tell her?

Faith: Bosco, truthfully, tell me, is it because of me, because of what I said to you?  Is that why you did it?  Please, answer me.  

Her voice was trembling; if I tell her yes, what will she think of me?  And of herself?  I know she didn't mean it; she will never think that I'm useless. The fact is, she did tell me that, and she broke my heart.  How to explain to her that I did it to escape her.  I did it, this action, as she calls it, because she consumes me.

Bosco: No

Faith: Tell me the truth Boz.

Why?  How can she read me like I'm an open book?  I always hide my feelings, except when she is there. We have been partners for eight years. Over eight years we have learned everything about one another, and now, she knows me better then I do.  I hate her for that; I can't hide anything from her.  Ever.

Faith: Oh God Bosco! It's my fault; I didn't mean what I told you.   I… I was afraid; I thought Fred was dying.  You have done everything you can to help me and… I'm sorry.  I know that I hurt you, but I never wanted to. God, look what I drove you to. 

I hate seeing her in this state.  Her beautiful blue eyes become cloudy, tears begin to fall, because of me.  Yeah, I wanted to leave this world to keep from hurting her, but it had the opposite effect.  I am so stupid.  As if suicide would have resolved anything.

Faith: Oh, Bosco, God knows how much I love you. I will always love you, and…

Bosco: Stop it, Faith!

If she knew only knew how much I loved her.  I want to scream my love for her, prove it to her.  But she only considers me at a friend, now and forever.  I'm the good guy; the one she talks to when something is wrong.  Fred doesn't like me because I spend more time with her then he does. But if he knew what he had.  I would give all that I have to hold her in my arms, just one time, to smell her hair, to touch her face… Oh yeah, great, I'm becoming romantic… But how can you escape feelings when they're within you.  She loves me; she told me. But not like I love her.  After all, what right do I have to desire someone who I don't deserve?  I will hurt her, but for the moment, it's her who hurts me.  I must push her away from me. I don't want to hurt her anymore.

Bosco: I know you didn't mean it.  The fact is, you said some things that hurt me, and I will never forget.

Faith: but…

Bosco: I'm sorry that you said them, now you can't come back.  It because of you that I'm here; it's your fault, entirely your fault.  

I'm angry.

I could kick my ass sometimes.  I try to keep her away from me, but instead of protecting her, I hurt her.  Why do my words cause me to suffer so much?  I hurt one of, no, THE person that I love more than life, more than anything in this world.  But she has a family, and what right do I have to wish that this woman could be mine, that she would leave her husband for me.  I don't have the right.  She needs to concentrate on her family, to forget all this, to forget Maurice Boscorelli, and her life will become much easier.

We are on the verge of a breakdown.

Faith: Bosco, I told you that I'm sorry!

Bosco: You're sorry, everybody is sorry, what does it change?  Huh?  I'm here, waiting for I don't know what, while you grieve over me. And after?  What's it going to do? How will it end?   Yes it's because of you that I cut my veins, and honestly, I regret that Doc brought me to this fucking hospital.

Faith: You don't know what you're saying.

Bosco: No?

Faith:  No. You are the most selfish man who ever existed.  Did you think about anyone else?  About ME?  If you died, what would I do?

Bosco: You'd get over it.

Faith: I what?  Maurice Boscorelli, of all the things that you've said to me, I won't listen to this. You're a selfish man, who only thinks of himself.  You believe cutting you wrists is the answer? Huh? You can't tell me that.

Bosco: That's not it.

Faith: Oh, so what is it? Huh?  Go ahead, I'm waiting for your explanation.

Bosco (softly): I love you.

Faith: What?

Bosco (screaming): I LOVE YOU!

This isn't right, I shouldn't have said anything.  Silence invades the room.  She's looking at me like I'm crazy.  Why did I tell her?  I want to hide from her gaze, but I can't.  For once, I must face her. But after?