Chapter IV

The phone rang on the kitchen table, the loud tone resounding through the dark apartment completely ignored by the blonde who was eating some frozen yogurt. She snuggled by her bed looking for an interesting movie to watch. It would be the third one since she got home and her mood did not seem to be improving. The phone rang a few times more before it went to the answering machine.

"Hey, it's Pacifica. You know what to do," it murmured, followed by the traditional electronic beep that lead to the recording.

"Hey Paz, it's Daisy. Are you feeling okay? It's kinda weird that you're not answering your cell. Lucky that I had this number in my files. Anyway, call me. You kinda worried me this afternoon, so just let me know that you're alive, alright? Kisses, bye."

Upon hearing the message Pacifica did no more than to grab the blankets that surrounded her and snuggle in with greater force. The truth was that she wasn't feeling well. She couldn't remember the last time in her life that she had felt so anxious without a reason – well, truthfully, she knew the reason, but thinking about it made her even more troubled. She hadn't had to face such strange feelings rising in her chest for years, the ones that had made her feel weird and – even worse – different. Driven by this latter idea she flopped onto the bed. Different, she thought, shutting her eyes and remembering all the times she had had to hide this minor annoyance for fear that one day it would take control of her. The evidence that behind it all she couldn't be the perfect girl that her parents wanted, not because she couldn't obey certain rules or, as it used to be, renounce certain tastes or friends to please them. No, the nature of this nuisance was much more profound.

There was a reason that Pacifica Northwest had never had a boyfriend while being the most desired girl in Gravity Falls, the same reason she had always felt nervous around Mabel Pines and even the main reason for her hatred towards her. She had been in love with the girl with the sweaters, the girl who smelled like sweets and glue, who had the reckless and innocent smile. The girl who had come to her small town so many summers ago. Pacifica came to refer to the strange sensation of butterflies in her stomach that she felt around Mabel as "hatred" towards her, just so she didn't have to assume that thatsensation had overcome the years.

"I still hate her," she said, squeezing her eyes shut in frustration while she filled her cheeks with frozen yogurt as if she could drown those thoughts in the strawberry flavor, trying as usual to take all of these feelings and put them in a less obtrusive part of her consciousness where no one could see them, where no one could ever find out that she wasn't a popular, normal girl. Bitter tears began to run down her cheeks as she stretched her arm a few inches towards the buttons on the radio. She turned it on, not wanting to think about the matter anymore, left trapped by her own frustration and her feelings found in time to a sad tune.

Again not far away from here, Mabel faced her own indecisions, agonizing in front of her phone screen. A fresh canvas rested some feet away from her. The first coat of paint was just beginning to dry on what looked like the figure of a woman in an imperial-style dress, and on the floor her sketchbook was surrounded by colored pencils and inks of all types that stuck out on the pink carpet. Someone interrupted with two small knocks on the door.

"Mabel? Can I come in?" asked her twin as he slowly opened the door.

"Yeah. What's up, Dippinsauce?" she responded with a sad smile, resting her head on the headboard.

"Just came to ask about your disappearing act today," he said in a playful tone while looking with interest at the sketches scattered on the floor. He sat at the foot of the bed. "Um…did something happen?" he asked inquisitively, trying to catch his sister's eyes, which remained riveted to her phone. "Did you get in a fight with somebody?"

"What? No, it's not that," she responded immediately, raising her gaze towards her twin, who gave her a confident smile. "Let's say that I have a friend…"

"Mabel…you know I don't like hypothetical questions," he said quickly, rolling his eyes with disbelief. "What happened?"

"I'm serious!" she defended herself, pouting at Dipper. "I have a friend, or I guess we're not quite friends, but she's making an effort. She's not very sociable, you know?"

"Well you're definitely not talking about yourself," he said with a chuckle.

"The point is that today we went to eat together and I think I made her feel uncomfortable or something, because a little before we ate she went to the bathroom all upset and then she didn't say a word to me. In fact, after eating she didn't even go to class! I'm honestly worried. Am I really that annoying?"

Dipper moved slightly towards Mabel, placing one hand on the shoulder of his twin and looking at her sadly. "You're not annoying, Mabel. Do you remember doing something to bother her?"

"I only – I only sat next to her to look at the place's menu. Nothing bad."

"You didn't sit unnecessarily close like you do when you want to read over my shoulder, right?"

The Pines girl's eyes opened wide as a blush grew on her cheeks and a guilty squeal escaped from her lips. Clearly she had not noticed this detail.

"See? Some people are more averse to Mabel-closeness. You can't expect everyone to accept that right away, much less let you sit in their lap to browse something. Much less if, like you said, she's not good at socializing. Of course she's not used to it."

"Then you don't think she hates me?" she said, recovering something of the radiant glow in her eyes.

"I doubt it. You know that apologizing always helps. Who is this mysterious girl, by the way?"

Mabel's cheeks went from pink to a noticeable redness, as at the same time a small knot formed in the pit of her stomach, making her feel something strange–

"Who, her? It's nobody, it's someone from my art class. I don't think you've met her," she said in a slightly accelerated tone, shrugging her shoulders and trying to speak as naturally as she could.

"Is she cute?" asked her twin, crossing his arms and turning towards her.

"She's beautiful, but I don't think I've ever thought about it before really recently–"

"Mabel has a girlfriend!" sang her twin, playfully elbowing her as she appeared to blush much more. It wasn't a secret between the two of them that both felt a certain attraction towards people of the same gender. Dipper acted more conservative about it, while Mabel was more honest and expressive, openly declaring herself bisexual when she turned fifteen after having officially kissed a girl. She never suspected that her brother felt the same way until at least a year later when, in her habit of not knocking before entering, she surprised him while he was kissing a boy from his math class. This didn't turn out to be uncomfortable for either of the two, who understood it as a type of secret between twins. "And do you think that she…you know, likes girls?"

"I think you're going a bit too fast here, Dippity," she said, pushing him a little. "I don't think so…honestly I don't know, you know that you can't take these things for granted."

"Clearly we don't want to scare the pretty girl," he joked. "Well, I think you should call her if it's really bothering you, Mabel."

"Thanks, Dipper. I feel a lot better."

"Hey, no problem, sis. You know that I'm always here for you. Now I think I should finish my history homework," added her twin as he rose from the bed – but not before planting an affectionate kiss on her forehead. "Talk to you later."

With a refreshed air and a wide smile stretched across her face, she opened her notebook onto the second page that she had dedicated to the blonde that day, passing her finger over a full-body sketch that she had started when she got home. Truthfully, just now everything was too confusing to stop and think. She grabbed her phone and dialed the blonde's number, but not before taking a deep breath.

"Hi Paz, it's me…Mabel."