Total Eclipse of the Heart

SHE

Alone.

Hiding.

Quiet.

Silent tears, edge a little further out. I watch the drama unfold.

I can't do this

I haven't been prepared enough. No. I need more time. I am terrified, powerless, watching yet hiding.

"Crucio"

The man I know falls, writhing to the ground. He is unable to cry out. He looks at me, begging pleading me, reassuring me. He can do no more.

The time is now!

I fall back against the rock, struggling to make myself one with it. The voices are those of the monsters and the Boy Who Lived. I can't deal with this. I'm not prepared for this. I close my eyes. Escape. Not real. Go to somewhere safe. Darkness takes me away, to the past, a safer time. Younger, naïve, in many ways I am still a child.

That cold night, snowy night so long ago we made our own heat.

Deep in the bowels of the castle, away from the festivities of the Yule Ball, I came to you. I was unsure of myself, unsure of my power. You reached up and freed the unruly hair that I had tried so desperately to tame. You also freed the witch still trapped inside the girl. Enveloped me in your dark form.

The rest was blissful darkness.

Exhausted and spent. Entangled, honey brown hair melded with black. Yours, mine. Your raven wing hair and eyes are drawn to the dark flesh upon your arm, as are mine. You pull back and disentangle yourself from me.

"You had better leave. "

Tears mark the pillowcase and the sheets grow cold.

Confusion.

Pride.

Head held high, I dress quickly, and leave.

My feet won't move any further, I find myself turning around, facing the door. Struggling with myself. Wanting to throw myself at your feet and beg. I hear your words drift through the wood. Spoken to an empty room, they halt my hand on the doorknob.

"I won't give him the satisfaction. I will not have an Achilles' Heal."

I understand. I am a burden, weak.

Anger swells inside me. He's casting me aside. I am too weak to fight by his side. Then I will make myself strong.

"I am ready to begin my training"

Anger has made me brave. If Voldemort is what will keep me from him, then that obstacle will be eliminated.

I endure years of training. Harry, Albus, even the man who cast me out. Training me. Turning the passions that were unleashed that night into fury, anger and power. Tutoring control, unleashing my power.

His face was a constant, smirking mask of indifference. Never once allowing down his guard. Eight years of the Greasy Git. Eight years.

Nights spent waiting for them to return, beaten, exhausted. Battling away, taking chinks out of the red-eyed monster. Slowly wearing him down. All the while, carefully keeping me hidden. What consequence is a mud-blood to the Lord of Darkness?

Anger. Passion. Power.

Control.

Voldemort.

He has done this.

Eight years spent longing, exhausting myself to try and forget. Bruises, curses, hexes, everything to try and forget.

Rising from the stone, I feel renewed by the memories.

And I am Angry.

He is watching the battle, the Boy Wonder against the Monster, while his body writhes on the floor, but he senses me and his gaze moves to mine.

He realizes that my fear is gone. He sees my resolve. The mask slips from his face and is replaced by

Terror

I silently implore him to believe.

In me.

In himself

In his training

And in my love for him.

He has made me strong. His love has built me up

Unspoken

Not acknowledged

Always there

The time is now our time is now. I step out from the stone. Quietly. Harry is careful not to look my way, not to give me away. But he can sense my resolve and his strength grows as well.

I wait for the moment. My love gives it to me. He rally's his strength to mumble a weak curse. Voldemort turns on him and laughs, raises his wand to finish him off. "Avada………."

"Accio Wand!!!"

13 ½ inches with a phoenix feather core come flying into my hand.

The red eyes of the demon lock onto me.

First the recognition and then the shock, the Lord of Darkness has been disarmed by a "filthy little mud-blood".

Confidence is etched in my eyes. The smirk that I have spent

Eight

Long

Years

Memorizing is on my face now.

In a flash, from my hand to Harry's, the brother's reunited.

I look toward my soul mate, still crumpled on the floor. The small curse, my chance, has drained the last of his strength and his eyes are now closed.

This ends now. My eyes meet Harry's and three wands are raised.

HE

Gods, no, she is out of control.

Cannot get a grip.

Stay back I implore you.

Willing her to stay concealed and she obeys.

The battle rages on without me. Potter is weakening.

I sense her again and turn my gaze upon her.

No.

She steps away from the wall. My mind struggles to keep her safe

My broken body disobeys

Her shoulders rise and her face is the picture of composure and confidence, too confident.

Her eyes are darting, not with nervousness. Searching for an edge. I can give her that much.

"Expellaramus"

The demon laughs at me. At least he will finish me off now, and I won't have to see her

Die.

I close my eyes and slip away. Not hearing or seeing.

All those years

Alone.

"Avada Kedavra"

SHE

Three arcs of power surround Voldemort, whirling and spinning, fireworks, explosions and sparks

Power

And in a burst of blinding green light the demon lord is

Gone.

SHE

I sit with Harry. Gripping his hand. I am perilously close to a break down and he can see it.

We are facing Dumbledore, who is chewing on those infernal lemon drops.

Waiting.

The door slams and with a swish of robes, you appear.

Releasing my hand, Harry stands and offers you his.

With that unfeeling mask in place, you take it briefly and turn to Dumbledore.

Not even a glance my way.

I gaze at your back.

Desperate. Longing.

Why haven't you looked at me?

Has it been too long?

I listen as you replay the final moments. Filling in details for Albus that were forgotten in the heat of the battle by Harry and I.

My mind travels. Visits the fear in the final moments as I rushed up to you, the ashes of Voldemort raining down upon us all. I rushed thanks to the Gods for the heart that still beat and rushed the healing charms whispered over your body.

Energy transferred from one to another by sheer force of love.

Still I've returned to nothing. There is nothing for me.

No proclamations. No softness. No touch. Nothing.

No emotion in your voice.

I can see the coldness in your eyes. Closing my eyes. Willing myself to escape. I want to return to safety. The coldness is gone there and there I can see the man who freed me.

Gazing down at me, face framed in long black hair. Tickling my face on either side.

Hands

Mouth

Energy

Feelings

Passion

The man who still lives in my heart even if not in his own, the man who once cared.

One night.

Eight years ago.

It was magic. No past, no future, just the present and the power.

Your story grinds to an end.

"Now it's over." You say and finally turn around to face me. The mask is still in place. Your eyes settle on mine. Eyes so cold, they hit me like an Unforgivable and a realization takes hold of my heart, stopping it briefly.

One night is all that I get.

Too many years

Lost

"If that's all, Albus, I'm afraid I must leave. There are other things which need my attention." I rise from my seat and gaze back at him, proudly. I willed my hand not to shake as I offered it to him. "Thank You". I turn with a swish of my robes and am gone.

As soon as the door closes behind me, I flee. Flee the castle, my life, my world, and run until my legs give out. Give in to the grief, which encompasses me as he once did.

Longing

Waiting

Learning

Wasted

Gone…

HE

Fool.

She cannot even bear to be in my presence... Too many years. Too much history.

Killing, rape, torture.

I cannot bear to be in my presence either.

She has been the only thing that has seen me through. That one night held the magic of a lifetime and a promise of the life to come. Without her there is nothing.

No more battles. No more purpose.

No more hope.

No more... her.

With a cry I sweep the flasks on the shelf off. With a vicious curse, the shelf flies across the room. My desk soon joins it. I hex and curse things until the room is destroyed. Emotions, too long buried, rage out of control.

Like my resolve.

I sink into a chair and drag my fingers through my hair. Hands that still tremble with left-over Crucio.

Too many years of focusing and distancing myself.

No feelings

No emotion

Nothing for Tom Riddle to feed on

Nothing that would betray her

After what seems like forever I have to drop the mask I have been hiding behind and return to the world of feeling. Do I even remember how to smile? How to feel?

Love

Comfort

Pleasure

Nights in her arms

I have a lot to make up for, all the hurt and humiliation that I have put her through. I pray to the Gods that she can understand why I did it. We never discussed the reasons that night.

I just threw her out.

Better that way.

Better she hated me.

She never did though and I knew it.

I think back to what she overcame.

Fear

Terror

To save the world.

I can do the same to save us. Together I can learn to feel again. Leaping to my feet, I race down the corridor, up the stone stairs, and out into the moonless night.

Carried by pure instinct I seek her out.

Running, reaching, searching, fruitlessly.

Terror

The world tonight is dark and unlit, cold and unfeeling, too dark to see.

A sudden gust of wind moves the clouds. The silver sky gives just enough light to see her. She stands in front of the water, her back to me. Even from this distance I can see she is shaking.

My resolve is strong as I throw the mask to the wind.

SHE

Trembling as if under Crucio.

Sobbing violently.

No control.

Nothing.

Tearing at my hair. Curling clumps tangled in my hands. Torn out with the roots still attached

Half moons in my palms, running red that much skin under my nails they hurt, anything to escape the pain in my heart.

Anything.

Everything

Everything I have done for the last eight years was for him and he throws me out again.

Bruises

Curses

Hexes

Injuries

All for him

The wind picks up and with it, the last of my despair is swept away, across the water. Replaced by

Control

I am angry and I want what's mine.

This ends tonight and I'll be the one doing the ending this time.

I turn on my heel and stalk toward the castle and he is there.

Raising my head, furious eyes meet his

Soft

Black

Uncertainty?

Love

Always love.

Years to see this one look, to have this one moment and to finally win, it's all been worth it.

I step forward and gaze into his face. Feeling his breath. He has no words to offer. Emotions are too new to him to be able to capture. Now I will become the teacher.

Dueling

Power

Control

Surrender

Silently he offers me his arms and soul

Two become one

I am enveloped by darkness and by light.

The End