Emptiness and loneliness. It was Seth could feel. He'd betrayed his teammates, his lovers, his brethren for the enemy. Seth didn't know what to do, he was lost and every muscle was burning like fire, tingling painfully at the heartbreaking betrayal, his act of sin, eating at his heart. He could feel the bonds as lovers with Dean and Roman slipping away from him. If he wasn't Dean and Roman's lover, then what was he? Who was he? What did he do with himself? How could he keep living without their support? Seth curled into as good a small, shaking human ball on his hotel room bed and cried himself to sleep. Seth wanted to kill himself and he'd occasionally reach for the pocket knife Roman had given him as a Christmas present that was to be used only as self-defense to try. Roman had noticed the new look of numbness and pain in Seth's beautiful brown eyes and the exhaustion lines under them in seconds of seeing him after Dean's attacks escalated to a personal level, to the point of making Seth's emotional toll double. Roman knew Seth had never had that look before in his entire life. He'd never seen Seth in so much pain. He was such a happy, excited, energetic person that he'd never seen this side of him. He'd seen him calm, when he slept, but that was different. But he didn't expect Seth to come to him and tell him of how badly he needed him. So, Roman went to visit him in his personal locker room. Seth was sleep on the couch, stomach curved more than normal, and he looked uncomfortable. But he was dead asleep, he wouldn't wake up. Roman knew this because of how Dean slept like he was dead to the world. Roman gently closed the door and then went to Seth, studying his face at first, the calmness and peacefulness of his entire body. The way he looked so beautiful despite the new few pounds he'd apparently gained at some point. Roman couldn't stop himself as he reached out and cupped Seth's face. Seth blinked his eyes open and looked up at him, his eyes growing wide and scared like a baby doe in headlights.

"Please, Roman." Seth whispered, begging his lover not to hurt him.

"I won't, Seth. I love you so much, Baby. I've missed you so much." Roman said, accepting Seth into his arms and holding him there as Seth and him moved so that they both sat on the couch. Seth leaning against Roman as Roman kept one arm secured around his lover's waist. "God, Seth, you're still so beautiful." Roman whispered against Seth's lips. Seth was breathing hard, trying and failing to calm down. Roman pressed his lips to Seth's own and Seth nearly forgot how to breathe as he felt the spark, the love and truth from Roman's lips. Seth gave a sob, gripping onto Roman's gear.

"Romie, I've missed you so much. I can't do anything without you and Dean." Seth sobbed into Roman's shoulder.

"It's okay, Baby. It's okay. I'm here now, I'll protect you. Get some sleep, Baby. I'll stay with you the whole time." Roman said. Seth sniffled and looked up at Roman.

"You're the bestest boyfriend ever, Romie." Seth whispered.

"I know, Baby. Now, sleep." Roman said, running his hand over Seth's slender, little body. He was so beautiful and sweet, what else could he ask for?