Absent
by TheKittyRin
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| O |
Edward stares straight at the image in front of him, his eyes aloof and disconnected with the reality surrounding him. He frowns. His skin shivers, and his automail arms aches, making it clear to him that he is not wearing adequate clothing. The air is cold and bristle, and he is reminded that the weather in Germany is not easy to adjust to.
He does not care.
He was never one to care about the weather.
He stares intently at one picture in particular, a picture of himself and the woman whom he has pledged to spend the rest of his life with. They are elegant, firm and look to be a particularly acceptable couple. He smiles softly, his golden eyes melting with sadness.
The woman is beautiful blonde, tall and warm. She reminds him of his mother physically, but also of Winry. It is the pleasant touch that is similar to Winry's. She has a way when she strokes him that reminds him of Winry's healing hands. Perhaps that is the reason he fell in love with her in the first place.
Still, she is a stranger.
His automail hand grazes the surface of the picture, tracing the curves of her smile and of her hair. He feels himself relax at the sight of this image, but his tense position does not vanish. His mind is lost; running wildly towards Resembool, and wondering what Winry and Alphonse are up to, and if they are all doing well. He wonders if they have married and if they have children.
He feels a warm, smooth hand caress his neck, making him shiver.
"You're freezing," the voice comments with a whimsical laugh. He feels her nails draw on his skin, creating an exciting sensation. He cracks a smile.
"I guess I am." He then turns his head towards the woman, both a stranger and a familiar presence in his life. She is warm, warmer than him and this reality, and this is the reason he fell in love.
She reminds him of Winry's warmth, who always made him feel at home. He feels her comforting shadow in this woman, a ghost hidden away in those blue eyes. A part of him is satisfied when he hugs her, embraces her and consumes her, but there is always something missing.
She smells different, for one.
She remains a stranger in his cold arms, despite their intimacy.
He gulps as he feels her head nuzzling in his neck, her face buried in his hair. The guilt always beats on, making his insides twist in agony. He tells himself that it is too late to go back. He tells himself that she is in love with him, and that he is in love as well. He tells himself that he must continue this pretence.
"Here, I'll warm you up, silly." She laughs, her eyes echoing with happiness and adoration. When he looks in those blue eyes, he is completely enticed. If she knew that it was not of her he thought of, she would be revolted.
He will not tell her, no. Despite his internal protest, he knows that the woman in front of him is enough for a broken man like himself. This is a woman who accepts him despite himself. So, he responds to her affections. He feels warmer and better, although the same lingering coldness in his heart does not go away.
The missing thing, he knows, is impossible to retrieve.
In all her warmth, she is still not Winry.
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Hello little cupcakes! I hope you enjoyed my small story, however sad it was. I've always preferred Brothehood over 03 because the ending of 03 felt completely unsatisfying (and I appreciate a happy ending for my darlings, you know.) This is, I suppose, my interpretation of Edward's life in 03.