The doorbell rang right on time. It had been two weeks since Emily's "death". Two weeks since she had lied to the team and helped her get away to Paris. And every night, here he was at her door.

She hated this, this continuation of the lie. She kept telling herself it was the only thing, the only thing that would keep them all safe. Their lives, his life, was at stake. Everyone had to believe it. Believe her.

The only thing good about this whole thing was that she knew she was helping him get through it. Her and Hotch were the only ones that knew the truth, and it killed her that Spence was suffering… but she could hold him and listen to him, dry his tears and kiss his temple and let him know that he wasn't alone. He had her, and she would do her best to make every assurance so he knew it and felt it. Any time, day or night, she'd be there for him. Her sensitive, unique, darling friend.

She opened the door and there he stood, hands in pockets, looking at her with red-rimmed eyes. He shrugged, and tried as always to apologize for his presence but she would have none of that.

"JJ…" he began.

"Shh, Spence, come in. I've got your tea ready." She slipped her arm through his and led him to the sofa where two steaming mugs waited on the side table. "It's honey chamomile." She waited for him to spout out an incidental fact or two about the tea's calming effect, but he didn't, only accepted the mug and sat down. He locked his eyes with hers and she saw his misery. God, what was she doing to him?

He sat and leaned forward, elbows on knees. JJ sat beside him, reached up and rubbed his back through his soft, ever-present sweater vest. He dropped his head but she saw his eyes fill with burning tears and she knew what came next.

"I try, every day, to move past it… but all I can see is her laying there mortally wounded and none of us able to do a damn thing," he said, his voice soft with a bitter edge.

"I know."

"I'm okay at work. I think I'm going to accept it soon, and I can compartmentalize. Then I get home and…" He breathed in, his stomach twisting with the agony of his friend's loss... of her senseless, brutal death at the hands of Ian Doyle, the criminal that he hadn't gotten to in time.

"… I failed her, JJ. I didn't… I couldn't… and Morgan, Morgan won't even talk about it, about her, about that night… he won't even look at me when I try."

JJ reached up and gently brushed his hair back from his face. She tucked a piece behind his ear as she leaned towards him, her forehead against his temple. His tears were falling freely now, and she cringed inside, again. He was in so much pain. Pain that she was causing.

"Spence," she said, keeping her voice low. "I'm here… you can talk about it as long as you want to. About Emily. I want to too… and I'm here."

She stroked his cheek and he looked into her eyes, so earnest and patient and he sunk into them. He could feel her compassion and her sympathy and her being there, so alive and beautiful and he could feel her sincerity flowing over his damaged heart, healing it with her words, her presence, her soft hands…

He leaned toward her and felt her arms go around him for the hundredth time that week, felt her pull him close, and as his arms went around her, instead of her head laying against his shoulder he felt her lips softly graze his own.

He gave a sharp intake of breath as he pulled back, flinching and looking directly at her. She didn't blink or look away, instead she nodded, imperceptibly. She pulled him toward her again and there was no mistaking her intent.

Their lips met in the most delicate of caresses, and as his hands lifted to hold her face she whispered "Is this okay…?" against his mouth in the quietest of voices. He answered by pressing his lips against hers again and again, tasting her, feeling her response, and for the first time in weeks, felt calm, felt happy, felt relief.

His eyes closed, he was dizzy with her, drunk on the scent of her hair, her mouth on his, her tongue delicately probing… was he dreaming? So many years he thought of doing this very thing. He opened his eyes and watched her as she bumped his nose with her own, her lashes long and soft above her smooth cheeks…

She made a decision then. "Spence…" she whispered, her voice a low purr, "There's something… I have to tell you something."

"Are you okay?" he asked her, their noses still gently tagging each other's. A strange question to be asking her since he didn't even know if he was okay.

She pulled back, reluctantly, and shook her head briefly. She reached up to touch his lips, swollen from her kisses, and smoothed his brow as his concern started to wrinkle it.

"Because if you're –" he began.

"Spence," she said again, and slid her hand into his, squeezing it. "I have to tell you this. I can't continue to pretend I don't know the truth, and I absolutely cannot continue to see you suffer this way, knowing that I can make it all better with just two words. You have to keep what I'm going to say to yourself. Will you do that? Will you promise me that?"

Spencer straightened, uneasy, his eyes probing hers. "JJ – "

"Emily's alive."

He looked at her for a long moment. He stood suddenly, his arms folding in on himself, tight against his stomach.

"Is that right." he said, his voice low.

She stood too, and reached a hand out to him, but withdrew it when he jerked away. "Spence… it's true. I'm sorry, so sorry I didn't… couldn't tell you before now. I'm not even supposed to be telling you this at all."

Spencer turned his back on her and slowly moved to the door. Reaching it, he turned back to her, eyes blazing.

"You… let me…" he began. "You let me sit here every night and pour my heart out, my feelings about Emily and how she died, and all this time you knew?"

"Yes! Spencer, yes I did and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do! Imagine how you would feel if you had had to do the same to me! Imagine me wanting to blurt it out, just tell you every single moment my arms were around you, seeing you cry and in pain, grieving? It was and is for the team's safety, Spence. You have to know that is the only reason!"

"Then why… and tonight? You kissing me? Was that all part of the lie too, JJ? Is that all fake too?"

"No! I just couldn't stand it any more! I couldn't let you suffer like that any more. Seeing you these past days-"

"Weeks."

"Weeks, then. Seeing you every night and listening to you and feeling what you were feeling and knowing the truth all along was killing me. And I needed… I needed to show you how much I care, to do something to make you feel even the slightest bit better."

"So you pity me?" He took a step closer to her, resentment and embarrassment clouding his face.

"No!" She moved to stand in front of him, but stopped as he put his hands up. "I felt it too. I wanted to kiss you, I still do. I need you to believe that." She looked up into his face, her blue eyes pleading with him to understand. "But the important thing is, you know. Emily's alive and in hiding and she's safe, Spence. She's safe."

He stood staring at her a long time. She could see him struggling to physically tamp down his anger… bewilderment, then relief colored his features, and he turned his back on her, running his hands through his hair. Emily is alive! The thought filled his head and he looked back at JJ, believing her, his anger dissipating, though not leaving him entirely. She smiled at him, melting his heart. He couldn't help but feel joy at the news. As it sunk in, he began to let go of the anger, the pain he'd been feeling all this time.

"You're not off the hook, Jareau", he said. I can't believe you waited this long to tell me."

She came over to him. "I shouldn't have told you at all. If Hotch finds out I'm in a lot of trouble. He may fire me."

So you and Hotch launched this cover up while she was still in the hospital?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yes. And Em. And the rest of the team cannot know. Not yet. It's imperative that they remain uninformed until we get Doyle. It's for their own safety, Spence. Promise me you won't tell."

She took his hand and this time he didn't pull it away.

"It's against my better judgment, but I'll keep the secret…" he said, somber. "For now. You should have trusted me with this, JJ."

"I know. I'm so sorry." She dropped her hand from his. "It killed me to see you in so much pain. Every day I saw you suffer… and I couldn't do anything about it." She looked up at him. "I've pretty much stopped sleeping. The guilt…"

"Are we going to forget the kiss happened?" he asked, his gaze direct.

"Oh, it happened. And I wanted it to." She answered, just as direct.

He nodded, still looking at her. "There'll come a time when I'll probably thank you for supporting me through it all. For letting me turn to you for comfort. Now is not that time."

She nodded. "I expect you'll be angry with me for a while. I hope we can eventually work through it… together." She moved to close the distance between them and reached up to touch his face.

He leaned in as he moved to go and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I hope so too, JJ. But not tonight."

He hefted his jacket and left, closing the door behind him. JJ watched him go, then leaned her back against the door, and exhaled. She'd have some work to do to repair their relationship, and hopefully continue to build on it. She'd do it, all of it, whatever he needed.

After all, that is what one does when you love someone.