Pairing: Bella/Jared, Logan

Rating: T

Genre: Humor?

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

"Logan Andrew Cameron, do you know what time it is?"

Logan groaned silently before turning to face his mother. He gave a crocked grin. "I'm on island time, wahine. I have no need for a clock."

Her eyes narrowed. She strode up to him, grabbed him by the ear and pulled him down until their noses touched. "I am not wahine. Nor am I wisatsu'pat. Or woman in any language. I am your mother, your makuahine, shimaa. Mom, Mama and Mommy works also. If I hear you call me that again, or any other person with female parts, I'm calling your kupuna."

He paled. "Kupuna Fatima?"

She nodded. "And Chief, Honey, Grimmi and Faux Pa. You wanna try me, keikikane? Call me wahine again. It is dark. Your ass is in this house before the sun hits the water."

Jared chuckled as his 6'2" 15 year-old son took off upstairs, running from his 5'4" wife. "I think you just put the fear of the spirits in him."

"No. Just the fear of Mommy," Bella said as she smiled at her husband.

wahine – woman, wisatsu'pat – woman, makuahine – mother, shimaa – mother (Apache), kupuna – grandparent, keikikane – son