Aurora

By: Aviantei

A Hyouka One Shot

Satoshi took a deep breath, even if that was a decidedly bad idea. It was cold, and the air only served to rip up his lungs and place an ice cube there at the same time. He couldn't convince himself to head home yet, even if his parents would be wondering where he was and when he intended to be home for dinner. But this was more important, and the idea of being in the house when he did it just didn't seem appealing for some reason.

He pressed the call button.

It was snowing and Satoshi hadn't brought gloves with him. The other hand was stowed away in his pocket, as warm as it was going to get for having made a snowball in the last hour, but the one holding the phone would probably go numb by the time he hung up. He considered hanging up now, while the line was still ringing, but she picked up too soon for that.

"Fuku-chan?"

Mayaka.

"Fuku-chan, listen, about earlier, I know—"

"Mayaka," Satoshi said, not feeling like he deserved the right to say her name anymore, "I owe you more than an apology right now. So could you just let me talk for a bit? There's… There's a lot a want to talk to you about."

There was a moment of silence on the other end. Satoshi could almost see Mayaka, probably curled up under the blankets in her room, pouting with the phone pressed her ear, eyebrows scrunched in thought. She sighed. "Alright," she allowed.

Satoshi closed his eyes.

"I stole your chocolate," he admitted. It wasn't easy to get the words out, but he managed it. The weight that had been on his chest didn't dissipate, though. "I don't know if you can really count it as stealing since it was meant for me, but I'm the one who took it out of the club room. I couldn't tell anyone because, I…"

Satoshi let out a disgruntled noise, having trouble finding the right words. He didn't really want to tell Mayaka any of this—didn't want it to bother her—but she deserved to know. "Look, I really do like you and I'm glad that you like me, but I just… I…" He took a deep breath. "I'm scared, okay? There's really no good way to explain why, because I don't know how to say it and make someone else get it, but I'm scared of losing myself. Not because of you or anything, but because of me, and I know that's really stupid since we both want this, but I don't want to burden you with it, just because I'm not ready—

"I broke it, too. I'm really sorry. It didn't deserve that. I just didn't want to be seen having it, because I wouldn't have known how to answer. Especially not to Chitanda-san if she said something. I… I still don't know how to answer, either. Sorry. But at the very least your chocolate was an amazing improvement from last year and I should have been more careful with it. And…"

And? And what? Satoshi wasn't sure, but he felt like he needed to say something else. All of his words had been rushed, but he paused to consider. Mayaka let him do it, too. She was so silent that he was worried she had hung up, but for the small sounds of her breathing.

"Can you just…wait a little bit longer for me?" Satoshi asked, slower. "I know it's selfish, but I need some time. One day I'll be ready to explain it to you, so if you could hold on a little for me…?"

Selfish didn't even begin to describe it. Unreasonable was better, but it wasn't quite there, either. If Mayaka was smart, she would turn him down. She would leave the idea alone, and then Satoshi wouldn't have to worry about being obsessed anymore. They could be friends and club mates, but that was it.

Mayaka was silent for a long time. Satoshi probably had a pile of snow forming on his head, but he didn't dare to sacrifice the warmth of his hand. He let her think. If he was going to be demanding time, it was only fair to give her some in return.

"I'll do it," Mayaka said. Of course she would say it. It had been silly to think otherwise. It was that sort of attitude that made her so wonderful to Satoshi in the first place. "I'll wait, Fuku-chan. But you shouldn't keep a girl waiting for too long, you know!"

Satoshi laughed a little without meaning to. Mayaka's face was easy enough to imagine in his mind—her eyebrows furrowed, a playful pout on her features. He thought he was smiling. "Yeah, I know."

"Good," she said. Then, quieter, "I want to understand, even if it's only a little. Don't think you need to keep things secret from me. I already knew, Fuku-chan, so you didn't need to say it."

Was she really that capable of seeing through him? Did she know him well enough to figure it out? She still liked him anyway, too. That was the scary part, but it still felt nice. If she kept this up, Satoshi had the chance of giving in to the idea.

"Did you try it yet?" Mayaka asked. Her words didn't hit home. The weight of the string on his wrist suddenly was there again. He still had her chocolate, as broken as it was. All of it was in his bag, waiting to be eaten.

"No. Hold on." The air seemed even colder after having his hand be warm for so long, but Satoshi didn't care. He wedged the phone between his ear and shoulder, pulling out the candy, struggling with the twisty tie at the opening. Finally, he held a chunk of the chocolate between his numb fingers.

Satoshi took a bite. It was hard, the cold having made the snack stiff, but after a few failed efforts, a chunk of the chocolate was in his mouth. He waited for it soften up, tasting as it did. He could see Mayaka putting her all into it, probably with Eru at her side, cheering her on. His mental image had a smear of chocolate on her cheek that she didn't even notice, her tongue sticking out of her mouth in concentration as she added the decorations.

He swallowed.

"Well?!" Mayaka asked. She sounded nervous, a small quiver in her voice. "Spit it out, Fuku-chan, how is it?"

"Hm, it could still use some work, but it's not too bad," Satoshi answered. He was being honest. He liked to think that Mayaka would prefer that over polite flattery. "It's certainly better than that store-bought stuff you gave me last year."

"I-it is?!" Mayaka sounded surprised. "Alright, then I'll just have to try again next year! Just you wait, Fuku-chan, I'll make you chocolate that's so good you won't know what to do about it!"

Satoshi laughed. "I'm looking forward to it."

Snow fell into his open hand. He put the remaining piece of chocolate into his mouth, snowflakes and all.

So I meant to post this like two weeks ago but real life punched me in the face. I'm recovering, though, so not too much whining on my part.

Episode 21 was where I started staring down Satoshi's character in detail. Guys who act happy-go-lucky but actually turn out to be liars seem to be a giant weakness of mine, which is why is started writing Image Training. While writing that, I had to make some decisions about Satoshi and Mayaka's relationship, which got me thinking about where their relationship went after the anime left off.

In some ways, this one shot could be considered part of the backstory for Image Training, though it's nothing official as that...

Anyway, I just wanted to elaborate on this scene in the anime a bit more. That's kinda all.

Thanks for reading!

[POST] 090914