When I first wrote "A Rare Viewfinder Meeting" it was meant to be a one-off. I had no idea I would be continuing to write these. Had I known, I would've set it up to be multiple chapters. So starting now, this will be ongoing until...

Well, I don't want to think about that.

Present at this meeting: Asami, Akihito, Kirishima, Suoh, Kuroda, Sudou, Sakazaki, Fei Long, Yoh, Tao, Mikhail (Recap from Chapter 48)

Viewfinder Meeting Wars- Episode IV: A New Hope

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The men (and one boy) of Viewfinder slowly read the script from the latest chapter and then lay their copies down on the table.

Sudoh's eyes are downcast. A few at the table are glancing at each other and muffling giggles.

Kuroda has a very serious look on his face. He turns and looks at Sudoh for a full minute and then points at him. "HAAAA!" he breaks out laughing.

Sudoh glares at Kuroda. "You... public servant... PIG! It's YOUR fault that I got shot!"

"Shhh..." Kuroda is now laughing so hard he's gasping for air. "You... you're not supposed to be talking anymore!" He finally gets his laughter under control and composes himself... somewhat. "Okay, lay down and play dead."

"How dare you speak to me like I'm a dog!" Sudoh glares at him.

"Sudoh!" Asami gives Sudoh a sharp look, "Lay down."

Sudoh's eyes widen. He slowly lowers himself to the ground.

"Now... roll over."

"Wha-?"

Asami stares at him ominously, "Do it."

Sudoh reluctantly rolls over.

"Now... stay," Asami smirks.

Akihito turns to Kuroda, "Kuroda-san... umm, thank you for coming to my rescue."

Kuroda grimaces. "Well SOMEBODY had to save your ass... AGAIN. I guess I got to be the lucky one."

"Look, it's not MY fault this keeps happening!" Akihito protests.

"No?" Kuroda raises his eyebrows. "Whose fault is it? Sudoh, who you've been provoking since Chapter 38?! Mine? Or are you going to somehow blame it all on Ryuichi?"

"I really wish you'd stop calling him that," Akihito grumbles.

Sudoh sits up. "Yes! Don't you DARE speak his name!" he hisses.

"SHUT UP SUDOH!" both Akihito and Kuroda yell at him. Sudoh scowls and lies back down.

"Is that why you gave me such a pissy look back at the warehouse?" Akihito asks. "Because you felt you were forced to rescue me? You're in law enforcement. Isn't that... YOUR JOB?!"

"Oh yes, thanks for reminding me..." Kuroda pushes his glasses up. "Do you have any idea how much extra paperwork I'm going to have to fill out because of you? I don't think you're cute anymore... you're a royal pain in the ass!"

"Well... I think you're an anal retentive, ass-kissing... "

Asami pinches the bridge of his nose signifying that he's getting a headache. "That's enough, you two."

"Oh... sorry about that, Ryuichi," Kuroda apologizes, "but you really have me scratching my head with your choice of Takaba... oh, and with all due respect, also Sudoh. Wow, your judgement really tanked on that one!"

Fei Long smirks, "Are you surprised? Asami has always had bad taste in men. Sudoh, Akihito... "

"HEY!" Akihito glares at him.

"...that baby-faced Hong Kong cop... " Fei Long continues.

Akihito whips his head around to look at Asami. "Hong Kong cop... what does he mean by that?"

"He's just trying to get a reaction out of me. Don't worry about it," Asami assures him.

"Ohh..." Akihito looks relieved. "Okay."

"Besides," Asami smiles slightly, "that was a long time ago."

Akihito nearly chokes. "WHAT?!"

Kuroda smirks, "So... Asami has had another lover besides you. I bet that REALLY bothers you."

"I almost wish that it was YOU that had been shot," Akihito grumbles.

"But it wasn't... I'm still alive!" Kuroda gloats.

"Oh, go shove your paperwork up your ass," Akihito mutters. Akihito raises his voice, "The big question now is... who is the hooded man? I'm going to figure this out!"

Akihito stands up with a "take charge" attitude. "Okay, I'm going to split the room up into 'Definitely Not' and 'Suspect'. On the 'Definitely Not' side is me, Kuroda, and this dead body over here..."

"I'm not dead yet!" Sudoh angrily pops back up. "Maybe it's just a flesh wound."

"Sudoh, for the last time... lie down and shut up!" Akihito yells at him. Akihito resumes his speech. "Now... whoever it is, they're somewhat tall. Tao move over to 'Definitely Not'."

"It could be me!" Tao speaks up "I'm going through puberty and I could have a major growth spurt at any time now..."

"Yeah, yeah... sure," Akihito rolls his eyes. 'DEFINITELY NOT'!"

Tao sulks and moves.

"This man was also slender. Now I'll add Suoh to 'Definitely Not' for obvious reasons. Hmm... Sakazaki. Hey, it could be Sakazaki! Maybe he shaved."

Mikhail frowns. "You said this man was tall... "

"Stand up Sakazaki."

Sakazaki stands up.

Mikhail's eyes almost bug out. "Holy shit! He's huge!"

"Sakazaki, move over to 'Suspect'."

"My height is not the only thing of mine that's huge...eh, Takaba?" Sakazaki winks at Takaba.

Asami whips his head around to look at Takaba. "What does he mean by that, Akihito?"

Akihito looks away and turns an extraordinary shade of red. "Umm... no clue." He coughs to clear his voice. "Also to the 'Suspect' side... Fei Long, Yoh, Kirishima... "

"Excuse me?!" Kirishima interrupts, looking indignant.

"Yeah, you heard me! You can't fool me with that mild-mannered glasses guy look. Asami... sorry, you too."

"With pleasure," Asami smirks.

"That leaves Mikhail... "

Mikhail grins, "Oh yes! I'm gonna get manga time at last!"

"Not so fast..." Akihito shakes his head. "Unless the Creator came down with amnesia, you can't speak or understand Japanese,"

Mikhail smiles, then pulls out a copy of "Japanese For Dummies" and holds it up.

"Oh fine!" Akihito responds irritated. "Go stand in the middle. We'll make you... 'Probably Not'... THERE. Is that everybody? Is there anyone else you guys think it could be?'

"Maybe it's Yuri," Mikhail smirks.

Akihito gasps. "Bite your tongue!"

"Perhaps it is Yan," Fei Long says.

"Who the hell is Yan?" Akihito frowns.

"Yan was B.A. ..." Fei Long tells him. "'Before Akihito'."

Akihito snickers, "Heh heh... you sure B.A. doesn't stand for 'Big Ass'?"

Yoh looks at Akihito with a dead serious expression, "'Bad Apple'."

Fei Long scowls, "'Barbaric Asshole'."

Asami smirks, "'Bitchy Asshat'."

Kirishima whistles. "I think Asami wins this round."

Fei Long rolls his eyes. "You're just saying that because he's your boss."

Tao giggles. "'Burping Anus'!"

Suoh chuckles, "Heh heh... good one Tao!"

Akihito glares at Suoh.

Suoh looks back confused. "What? It was funny."

"Not that I want to interfere with your amazing crime solving techniques," Kuroda says sarcastically, "but you could just ASK Sudoh. I mean, he's right here."

Sudoh's voice comes from the floor. "Have you ever heard the saying, 'dead men don't talk'? Well... KISS MY WELL-MANICURED ASS!"

"No thank you," Kuroda smirks.

"He gets his ass manicured?!" Akihito raises his eyebrows. "I didn't even know that was a thing!"

Akihito notices that Asami is staring at his ass. Asami rubs his chin in deep thought, "Hmm... "

"Don't even THINK about it!" Akihito growls at Asami.

. . . . .

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Acknowledgements: The Pythons