It's been a month since I almost died and Yato held me like that... ever since then, things have been awkward. An no offense to Hiyori, but she hasn't exactly been helping with the awkwardness... mainly because she knows how I feel about Yato, Yato knows how I feel about Yato, I know how I feel about Yato... the whole damn WORLD knows how I feel about Yato...
The only mystery is... how does Yato feel about ME?
I'm too afraid to ask and Yato hasn't said anything. In fact... he's been kind of avoiding me.

I sit down at the steps near Hiyori's school and when she exits the building she catches a glimpse of me.
"Yukine?" I stand up and sigh, walking with her in silence. "Yukine, what's wrong?"
"Yato's been avoiding me... he's even going on jobs alone... I'm..." I stop myself and look down and away from Hiyori. "I'm terrified of what's going to happen or what may happen..."
"Well then... I'll have to call him up and make sure he knows how worried you are," Hiyori smiles and I shake my head vigorously.
"No-no! Anything but that!" My face is beet red. I sigh and shake my head again. "It's just... lately... I don't know." I stop walking and think about Yato's avoidance.

I sit on the shrine and wait for Yato to come back from a job he took while I was sleeping. I guess he didn't wanna wake me.
I sit up when I see him walking back. "Hey Yato, how was the job?"
"Boring stuff, don't worry about it," Yato brushes me off and I frown slightly. His phone goes off and he answers it. "Delivery God Yato, at your service. Pay only 5 yen and I'll grant your wish!" He nods and agrees with the client a few times. "Alrighty. I'll be there in a flash."
"We got another job so soon?" I ask, smiling.
"I'll do this one alone. You can sit it out," Yato smiles and I frown again.
"I sat out the last one," I point out.
"You were sleeping. Here, get something to eat," Yato hands me a bag of coins and I feel strangely irked.

I sit down in an alleyway where Yato promised to meet to go get food. He pops in, drops off a bag of coins and then walks away.
"Oi! Yato! Where are you going?" I call out, standing up immediately.
"Job. Go get something to eat; I'll meet you back at the shrine."

I sit down at the shrine waiting for Yato to come back from his job. He's been leaving me all alone lately. Am I not good enough now?
Yato walks up to the shrine and smiles, his phone rings, he answers. I stare. A job? He disappears. A job.

Yato returns. I stare. The phone rings. Yato picks it up. Yato leaves. I'm left alone.

Yato returns. I stare. The phone rings. Yato picks it up. Yato leaves. I'm left alone.

Yato returns. I stare. The phone rings. Yato picks it up. Yato leaves. I'm left alone.

Yato returns. I stare. The phone rings. Yato picks it up. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato returns. I stare. The phone rings. Yato picks it up. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato returns. I stare. The phone rings. Yato picks it up. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato returns. I stare. The phone rings. Yato picks it up. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato leaves. I'm left alone. Yato leaves. I'm left alone.

I'M LEFT ALONE.

I hold my hands to my head and close my eyes tight. I'm trying to cancel out all the noise inside my mind. It hurts. It hurts. Ithurts. Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts.
Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts!
Why does it hurt so much? If this is what "love" is like, I want no part of it! Let me out of this! I don't wanna feel like this anymore.
...Yato... isn't it bad for your Regalia to fall into despair? So... why aren't you here? Why... aren't you trying to save me? Am I not worth it anymore? I'm sorry... Yato... please... DON'T FORGET ME!
"Yukine!" I open my as I hear a voice I haven't heard in a while... more like... it's a voice that hasn't said my name in a while. I'm staring at shoes as I lie in a fetal position on the ground. My mind was in so much pain it turned into physical pain. I know those shoes. Tears are leaking out of my eyes as two hands pick me up to my knees. My vision's blurred with tears but I know who I'm looking at as they kneel in front of me.
"Ya... to...?" My voice is hoarse, probably from all the screaming. Was I screaming? I don't remember. I was thinking about the painful memories and then...
"I'm so sorry, Yukine... I never meant for you to hurt this bad..." The voice is grief-stricken and apologetic. Yato.
"Did... Hiyori call you?" I ask, looking to the side.
"No... he came on his own the moment you fell to the floor, screaming like you were in pain... you were like that for ten minutes before his voice finally broke through," Hiyori states and I look to Yato's concerned and extremely guilty-looking face.
"I caused you so much emotional harm, it might as well have been as if I struck you physically," Yato states, misery filling his every word. He felt miserable?
I stare at him, mind still foggy from my previous state of being. He pulls me into a hug, thanks Hiyori, and then teleports us to the shrine. He carries me to a bench and sits me down then takes a seat next to me.
"Yukine, I-" I cut him off by putting a hand up. My mind's clear and I have things I want to say.
"Yato... why have you been avoiding me? Aren't I good enough to be your shinki still? Am I not good enough to be Sekki? You've been leaving me behind and... that hurts... the entire world knows how I feel about you and it's embarrassing because you haven't said a word about it... are you avoiding me because you don't want to tell me the truth on how you feel...? Because you don't return how I feel?" I look down, tears prickling my eyes.
"It's not that, Yukine," Yato frowns, looking sad.
"Then what is it?" I look at him, imploring him to tell me. "Tell me."
Yato sighs out and puts a hand to my cheek, pain clearly in his eyes. "You risked your life to save me when Bishamon tried to kill me... You almost died... I... never want that happening again... I've been leaving you behind because I'm terrified of something happening to you should you leave the shrine... but something even worse happened..." He pauses and sighs, closing his eyes before opening them and looking directly into mine. "I made you feel lonely and neglected and I never intended that. You are my shinki. I gave you the name Sekki because you are my weapon that I found in the snow... Yuki because you looked like a small fuzz of snow... Yukine... because your innocence sounds like snow."
"What's so special about snow?" I ask, frowning.
"It's the most beautiful thing this planet has to offer. It's peaceful, innocent, and beautiful with the ice crystals just lying over top the scenery," Yato answers with a smile and I blush.
"But it's colorless and cold," I look away.
"Maybe so, but even colorless, cold things have their own beauty. You were beautiful when I saw you and your beautiful now, Yukine. You've grown into a fine young man," Yato smiles.
"I don't age," I 'remind' Yato. He chuckles and ruffles my hair.
"Maybe not physically, but mentally, you've gotten stronger and more mature," Yato gives me a calm smile.
I remain quiet and look to the side. "Yato...?"
"Hm?" He tilts his head.
"You still haven't responded... You know how I feel... how do you feel?" I blush and keep my eyes away from him. He doesn't say a word and I start to shift in my seat. I hate this awkward air.
When I look back, he's just staring at me and I quickly look away. This is bad. My heart's thumping and my palms are sweaty. Is he going to answer? What will his answer be? This is too nerve-wracking and embarrassing. I close my eyes and sigh, ready for the worst...

...My eyes dart open as I feel lips on my own. My face is about as red as tomatoes and probably getting redder. I feel arms wrap around me and I look into the blue eyes that are staring intently into mine. Before I can comprehend everything, my eyes shut and I'm wrapped in a warmth I've never known. A thought comes to mind.
With this much warmth, the snow will melt... My given name is Yuki, which means snow. I am the snow wrapped in warmth... I think I really am going to melt if Yato keeps kissing me like this.
I feel it. His emotions. Not because of our bond as Shinki and God, but because of the kiss. His emotions are pouring in... and as embarrassing as it is to admit... I know my own emotions are spilling out as well.
I feel something wet run across my lips and instinctively open my mouth a little. Yato's tongue darts inside and my hands clench onto his arms. Is it alright for me to indulge in this? Is this really okay?
All thoughts leave my mind as his tongue caresses my own and rubs against my teeth. My heart pounds against my chest and my mind is spinning out of control... then... the most embarrassing thing I can think of happens.
I moan into our kiss.
My eyes close tighter and my hands are now fists against Yato's arms, the fabric of his jacket being pulled by them.
He pulls back with a smirk, a think line of saliva connects are mouths and breaks before beading and dripping down my chin. My face is red and my eyes are glossy and blurry. That was too incredible.
"Yato...?"
He kisses my cheek. "I hope that answers your question, Yukine."
I nod slowly before coming back to reality. "Wait... is it really okay? I mean... how am I not stabbing you?" I frown.
"Because I'm a god. It's not a sin if your emotions are toward a god. It just works that way... which is why it's possible for a shinki and a god to have a relationship, though it almost never happens," Yato explains.
"How come?" I ask, worried.
"Because most gods treat their shinkis as humans and weapons only, not as lovers. But Daikoku and Kofuku are close right? They're lovers, too," Yato snickers and I nod. I understand.
He kisses me again and I cling to him.
It's nice... being able to do this with Yato. I don't hate it one bit.
I close my eyes in pure bliss. We were in our own world.
We didn't know that things were going to change for the worse in the near future. How could we? We were happily living our lives as a shinki and god couple for once.
In hindsight... we probably should have checked for peeping toms.

End?

This concludes this tale. Don't worry there will be a sequel for it called "I am Your Shinki". :) Look for it when I finally upload it.
There will also be a lot more smut in that than what was in here... I didn't really wanna go "no-holds-barred" on this one, so you get a kiss and a small makeout with a moan.
Goodnight.

Your author,
Nova