Miroku's 5 Steps for a Perfect Date
By: kawaii-anime-lover
Step 1: Compliments
Miroku: Konnichiwa Gentlemen!!! Today I'm here going to show you the 5 steps to asking a girl out, since I'm SO good with woman!
InuYasha, Shippo, and Kenshin: *sit and stare*
Miroku: Okay, step one to getting a girl: First, give the lady mice compliments as in what she is wearing, her eyes, her hair, ETC….
InuYasha: *raises hand*
Miroku: Yes InuYasha?
InuYasha: Uh…yea…why am I here? I was told I was getting candy…not date lessons.
Miroku: Don't you want to ask Kagome out?
InuYasha: NANI!?!?!? Why would I want o ask that clueless wench out????
Miroku: Of course u want to ask her out...now sit down or no dinner!
InuYasha: What is for dinner?
Miroku: ramen…
InuYasha: *shuts up*
Miroku: OK, back to the steps…*takes out tape*
*Sango walks in*
Miroku: I guess I'll show you guys in person how it is done.....well hello Sango, you are looking absolutely beautiful today, as always..
Sango: *stares blankly* uh…thanks…I think..
Miroku:….and may I say you did your hair very nice today….it smells good.
Sango: This is how I always do my hair.
Miroku: Uh….ya well I'm going to give you the compliment today instead of just always staring at it….
Sango: OOK..
Miroku: and your chest are is looks nice as always..
Sango: WHAT?!?!?!!?
InuYasha: He blew it…
Sango: Why you little perverted, stupid idiot! *slaps Miroku* HENTAI!!! *walks away*
Miroku: *gets up smiling* and that is how step one is done!
Kenshin: oro?
InuYasha & Shippo: *sit & stare with wide eyes*
End of step one…
Step 2: Manners
Miroku: Now, boys, listen and you shall hear *poses step 2*
InuYasha: Oh joy…
Miroku: *makes a mad face*
Kenshin: Just get on with it, you have already proven you know nothing about girls…
Miroku: *gets even more mad*……..* shakes anger off*….Ok….Step…two…is…MANNERS!!!
InuYasha: Yea…..from the king of manners who just got slapped..
*everyone, except Miroku, snickers*
Miroku: one word InuYasha….ramen..
InuYasha: oh…yea…sorry sir
Miroku: Ahem.....now. When on a dinner date, you need to use silverware properly. DO NOT eat with your hands....
And never order pizza!
Shippo: ?
Miroku: Ahem, yea moving right along....
Miroku: I have prepared a computer dummy that will rate you all on your table manners!
Miroku: Meet.....CyberDate 2000!
IY: WOO! SHE'S HOT!
Miroku: Huh?!?!? V.V
Miroku: Okay then lover boy...you first....
IY: OK! *sits down....*
*computer date (cd) stands impatiently....*
Miroku: Rule #2! Pull out her chair....
IY: OK!
*sits down....*
*computer date (cd) stands impatiently....*
Miroku: Rule #2! Pull out her chair....
IY: Oh...ok!
*pulls out chair and stares at butt as she sits down....*
Miroku: Glares....
cd: *slap*
IY: heh heh....
Miroku: Ok...now comes for the meal!
IY: I'll take a #5....the "You Will Not Look Cool In Front Of Your Date If You Order THis" meal.
Miroku: Ur a lost cause.....
Miroku: ok....now the date progresses....
Miroku: psst....remember step one....
IY: ok....
IY: Umm..you che-
Miroku: NO!
NOT THAT PART!
IY: oh....ok.....
heh heh
IY: Um...what a nice....cup you have???
*lost
Miroku: OOOOK! NO MORE COMPLIMENTS
IY: Ok...got it...no more compliments.
Shippo: *snore....
IY:hmm....here's the food!
*chows like a beast.....
CD: The date is over...
Cd rates you as.....
a 2 out of ten....
IY: WHAT??!?!?!?!?
I thought I did fine!
Stupid thing!
*pulls out Tetsaiga
Take this!
*readies sword
Miroku: No wait!
That was exppensive!
IY: *stops in midair....
IY: ok....
*sits down...
Miroku: Now we have a special guest...
for your dating etiquette, I'd like to introduce the best of the best!
Miroku: Me!
Miroku: *sits down.
*puts oon shadesMiroku: *pulls out chair
Miroku: So.....what'll it be.....
The hot guy across from you or the hot guy across from you???
CD: I find the #3: "Garbage can leavings" more appetizing
Miroku: huh?!?!?!?!
Miroku: well, um....
Cd: *can tell he's struggling...starts conversation
It's awful cold outside...
miroku: Yea....my blanket is thermal though... Cd:*SMAK! (even harder than IY)
Miroku: Uhhh....well....ur....lookin' nice! How about we ditch this cafe and I'll introduce you to the nude beach!
CD: The date is now over.
CD: Your boyfriend level is....
Miroku: sweatdrops
cd: a 0. You are conceited, hypersexual, and extremely corny. I have met rabid wolverines that have better tact.
Miroku: WHAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!
IY: Heh heh....who's the dating teacher????
Miroku: Shut up and give me that sword!
End of step two……
kawaii-anime-lover: That is all the steps right now….Miroku said he will give me steps 3+4 as soon as possible…till then…Ja'ne minna!!!(bye everyone)