So I'm back from my uncle's funeral. I was still thinking about the trilogy I was planning so I'll find some time to make at least 2 chapters for the final part. Now for the story:

DW Modern Day Antics

One shot 1: Cop Antics

"Let's bust out the tunes." Sima Zhao was driving a police car as a bunch of Paramore and Nickelback songs blared out of his radio. He notices an attempted robbery. Zhao sighed.

"They never learn."

He jumps out of the car and goes into action. He grabs a nearby metal pole and whacks one guy on the head with it. He kung fu kicks the other and he cuffs them in.

"Hehe. You guys never learn."

Sima Zhao whips up a phone.

"Yo father, this is Zhao. I've got two lowlifes cuffed here in Xu Zhu's restaurant."

"Good. You're starting to be like your brother. Hold on. I'll get Wen Yang there ASAP."

He was about to put it back in his pocket when he got another call. It was Wang Yuanji.

"Still working?"

"Uh...yes."

"I have no idea why I'm dating you instead of your brother."

"He works overseas, Yuanji. Anyway, I gotta go."

"Well you better remember that we're going to the mall this Friday, Ok?"

"Yeah. Got it."

Sima Zhao puts the phone back in his pocket and went back to his police cruiser. The plate said:

JINCOPS

One shot 2: Beard Shampoo

"Brother, there's no such thing as beard shampoo." Liu Bei said. Apparently, Guan Yu was looking for some decent stuff that can fix his beard after he, Liu Bei and Zhang Fei had a hangover.

"Let's go to the mall!"

MALL

He asked every single store owner about beard shampoo. They all said

"There's no such thing as beard shampoo."

He sighed and was about to leave with Liu Bei and Zhang Fei until they saw Lian Shi with a bottle that said "FACIAL HAIR SHAMPOO". Guan Yu instantly approaches her.

"How much for that?"

"Uh...10?"

"DEAL!"

He goes back home quickly, grabs a mirror and applies the shampoo.

"Huh?"

He notices the notable ingredients which said:

Ingredients used:

Poison Ivy

A used matchstick

Huang Gai's armpit hair

Chicken Fat

"WHAT THE HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL?!" Guan Yu screams to the top of his lungs. Guan Ping walks in.

"Told you."

One Shot 3: Xiahou Yuan's Wax Job

"Hey Yuan." Xiahou Dun called.

"Yeah?" Xiahou Yuan asked.

"I dare you to get your back waxed."

"Pfft. Deal!"

The next day, every Wei officer gathered to see Xiahou Yuan get waxed. He began to laugh.

"Hahahahaha! I got shot by an arrow to the knee numerous times so there's no way this could go wrong at all."

He got so cocky. He began to feel a lot of pain as everyone waxes him. It was plain painful. Cao Ren, Xu Zhu and Dian Wei pulled the duct tape really hard while Jia Xu, Cao Pi and Guo Jia mixed their tape with wasabi, floor wax and curry powder. Last one to wax him was Wang Yi and he was already tearing up.

"No no no no! I give up! I give up! I..."

It was too late. Wang Yi pulled so hard that not only did she rip off all the hair but also, she ends up making Xiahou Yuan scream so loud that he was probably heard all across the city.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!"

One Shot 4: Drunk Ladies

Wu was having a blast. It was the anniversary of Sun Ce and Da Qiao's marriage. Ce approached his wife, asking.

"Why don't you girls drink alcohol?"

"We just don't."

"Oh come on. Xing Cai from Shu, Zhang Chunhua from Jin and Wang Yi from Wei all can do it. You guys can't let them outshine you right? Even my sister can handle getting drunk."

Da Qiao grabs Xiao Qiao and Lian Shi, informing them about what Sun Ce said. They decide to take up drinking. Lian Shi took the first sip.

"It's actually pretty good."

Afterwards, the three all end up getting drunk. They began to flail their arms around in confusion. They stared at each other, still drunk. The drunk Xiao Qiao made a seductive face at Lian Shi and Da Qiao.

Moments later, Zhou Tai, Lu Xun and Gan Ning were walking down the hallway when they heard noises coming from one of the doors. Frightened, the three drew their weapons. After slowly approaching the door, Gan Ning instantly opened the door only for the trio to see the most disturbing thing ever.

"OOOOOHHHHHHHHH JEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!"

The trio fled in fright from what they saw.