Lavi doesn't know if Kanda actually sleeps, but the lump on the bed doesn't make a movement after the last uttered words, which then keep him up all night. That is the reason why he's blearily struggling against some immovable force that's dragging him along the corridor into another room at some hour in the morning, which he realises is the shower the moment ice cold water rains upon his form. He shrieks and splutters, wiping away the water from his eye to spot Kanda rolling his eyes at him.

"What the hell? I was just going to skip class—"

"You can't, you idiot. Not this one, anyway," Kanda snorts before sauntering out and slamming the door behind him.

Lavi blinks as he strips off the wet clothing, and snaps wide awake when he remembers the class test that's happening in less than an hour. He rushes with only enough time to pull on clothes lying back in their room and grabs his bag, flying out of the door with barely a word to his roommate who's back on the bed dozing. The adrenaline keeps him high on agitation about the test until its over—it's nothing difficult, to him, at least—and his stomach growls deep the moment he steps out of the lecture hall.

He takes a step toward where the cafeteria is but stops immediately, hastily unzipping his bag to see if he managed to take his wallet with him…which he did not, as the said wallet is probably sitting snug on his bedside table where he always leaves it. However, he does see something in his bag that he's sure he didn't put in—it's a sandwich, ham and cheese, with the receipt taped to it with the words 'pay me you asshole' scrawled on it with familiar hand writing.

Lavi grins, feet taking him towards the courtyard for a seat. He gets to an empty bench before taking out the sandwich for a bite, staring at the receipt at the same time. Typical Yuu, really. Whenever he finds these sandwiches in his bag, it's always the cheapest sandwich combo—he would like one with eggs, but it never happens—but he guesses its fair because he hasn't actually paid Kanda for the food yet. It's been months, huh, how many times has Kanda done this for him?

How many times has Kanda actually pre-bought sandwiches for him knowing that he'll forget to take his wallet with him?

The thought stills something in his chest, and the next swallow feels a little dry.

He thinks about it intermittently through his afternoon lectures and the walk back to the dorm, until he turns the knob to their room and realises it's locked.

"Yuu?" he calls, knocking on it. "Yuu! Are you in?"

He curses when he digs his hand into his pocket and realises that his key is sitting next to his wallet inside the room. Groaning he trudges downstairs to Lenalee's room by reflex.

"Lenalee—"

The door opens faster than he expects, and a key dangles in front of his face. "Dude, I don't understand how you forget this so often with your memory. Kanda's at the gym, if that's what you're going to ask next."

"Sorry," he grins sheepishly. "And thanks."

Lenalee smiles. "You do know that Kanda brings me your key every time you leave it behind, right?"

"Yeah, how else do you get it?"

"Kanda doesn't do this for just for anyone, you know. It's his way of being nice."

Lavi pauses. "He…told you about that?"

"Sort of," Lenalee grins. "He's always been doing this for you, I wonder why I didn't see it sooner."

"Yeah," he swallows. "I wonder why."

So now that the proverbial cat is out of the bag, Lavi half expects things between them to change, but also half expects that it doesn't. And things do change, but not really. The first few days are quiet between them, but it leaks back into their usual bickering easily enough when Kanda trips over some books Lavi had tossed over the floor before promptly falling sleep across the damn floor, why can't you fucking do things like a normal person, god, and there's that. Lavi never brings up the topic again, and he's sure as hell Kanda never wants to talk about it—that's fine, because he doesn't actually know what to say then to ask more questions like 'are you serious, Yuu, are you fucking sure?' or those 'wait, you like me. You. Like me.' splutters because what the hell, he's always assumed Kanda is too prickly to genuinely like anything that's not soba or kendo.

But sometimes he'd be at his desk working on a last minute essay and he'd catch Kanda looking at him in quiet spaces, or when he touches Kanda in a friendly gesture he sees the red tinge crawling up the other's neck, or sometimes when he's in bed with his eyes closed he can feel Kanda hovering above him before he hears an eventual frustrated sigh and the walk away. So his best friend likes him and he doesn't know what to do about it because he doesn't like Kanda that way back. He doesn't want to say 'I'm sorry', he's sure Kanda would punch him in the face if he does, but he doesn't like remembering that defeated 'leave me alone' request, or that 'it's hard enough with you in the room'—he's making Kanda miserable at some level.

And it gets more obvious with the days passing that Kanda does treat him very differently. Even with a tiny thing like making sure he doesn't miss those classes that he can't, it means that Kanda remembers his timetable well enough and that Kanda actually listens to his chatter because how else does Kanda know which classes he can't skip? Yeah, Kanda may dunk him in ice cold showers or demand payment for lunches or be purposely out of the room at the time when his classes end but there's always a safety net: he reaches class on time, he eats, and Lenalee always has his key. Maybe it's not 'nice' by conventional standards, but it's certainly nothing that Kanda would do for anyone else, and maybe, not even for Lenalee.

"Yuu, can you open the door?"

"Yuu! I don't have free hands!"

"Yuu, come on, open the door, please?"

Lavi sighs and tries to nudge their door open with his foot because he's balancing at least three weeks' worth of laundry that's fresh from the dryer, why does he own so many jeans, denim is heavy. No sound comes from behind the door and he pouts, putting down his basket reluctantly to let himself in. It's past midnight so it's not unlikely that Kanda is asleep—Kanda keeps much more regular hours than he does—and he's greeted with the view of his roommate curled in his bed with his eyes closed, but the lights are still on.

He knows how much Kanda hates leaving the lights on because the other complains about bad sleep with lights on, but there is no mistaking that the lights are left on, because Lavi would probably trip with his laundry basket and wake the whole building, as Kanda would grumble to him.

Lavi drags in his basket with as little noise as he can, turns on his bedside lamp and switches off the main lights. There. Kanda can't say he didn't compromise, at the very least. Now the only source of light is at his bed so he resigns himself to sitting on the floor at the foot of his bed to fold up his clothes. From this position he gets a view of Kanda sleeping facing him, and he doesn't really pay the other much attention as he folds his shirts and pants methodically, until he realises that he is staring.

A sleeping Kanda is quite different from an awake Kanda, because there is no scowl or pulled frown muscles in place. It makes his roommate look unreal, like a porcelain Japanese doll, under the dim lighting. It's almost creepy, but the creepiness stems from how beautiful the picture looks, like it's painted. He's always known at the back of his mind that Kanda is attractive—a lot of people (both genders) come up to him to ask for Kanda's number, it's depressing sometimes—and he's seen the other shirtless enough times to question the definition of his own muscles, but he's not attracted to dudes so it's always been…at the back of his mind.

Now, though, it hits him startlingly clear.

Huh. If he was bisexual he'd have hit the jackpot with Kanda. He likes Kanda enough as a person—the guy is pissy most of the time but there're those reluctant endearing traits, and he likes that Kanda takes no bullshit and has, not that the other will never admit, the same kind of warped sense of humor that he has. They hit off, they get along, Kanda is his best friend, but.

Lavi sighs and leans closer to Kanda's bed in curiosity. Kanda's eyelashes are long, his cheekbones structured, but his lips are kind of dry. He holds his breath and touches Kanda on the cheek, and when he doesn't get a response, he breathes a sigh of relief before sliding it lower to the other's lips. Can Lavi kiss him and not feel weird about it?

Can he?

He doesn't know.

He absentmindedly pats Kanda on the head before he intends to lean back, but Kanda snaps his eyes open at the touch and he jerks back in shock.

"Er. This—t-this is not what you think!" he protests immediately, scrambling backwards so fast that he hits his own bed.

"What the fuck were you doing?" Kanda glares at him suspiciously, though the voice is slightly groggy.

"I was just—just—just, your hair, it was in the way, I was just moving it so you could sleep better—" he babbles nervously, "I swear, I didn't do anything else!"

Kanda squints again at him before scoffing and turning his body over, pulling the covers over his head. "Whatever. Turn off the damn light."

"R-right," Lavi nods, blinking eye wide.

Sometimes, it's immensely boring when your roommate is a workout junkie and you don't want to do any work but he's away at the gym racking up muscles. In times like these, Lavi bothers Lenalee. It's a miracle she still opens the door for him, to be honest.

"Lenalee."

"Hmm?" the girl hums, though she doesn't turn to look at him.

They're both on the bed sitting against the wall, Lenalee with her laptop on her knees and Lavi picking through one of the many romance novels that she collects.

"Yuu is. He's," Lavi ventures thoughtfully. "He's good looking, right? From a girl's point of view."

"Anyone's point of view," Lenalee corrects bluntly, still engrossed with whatever she's reading on the screen.

"Would you say he's pretty? Or beautiful?"

"Sure, but you know better than anyone that he doesn't like to be called either of those," she answers, glancing at him. "What's on your mind?"

"Well," Lavi hesitates, picking at the dog ear on the page in the book he's at, "A couple of days ago, Yuu was sleeping and I kinda…"

"Kissed him?" Lenalee stares at him with abrupt attention, eyes wide. "Oh my god, Lavi, you—"

"What? No! I didn't!" Lavi scrunches his eyebrows together, incredulous. "I just touched him! His face! I mean, I just touched his face. And his head," he corrects hastily. "Yuu looks really peaceful when he sleeps, right, like he isn't scowling or doing that thing with his eyebrows, you know the one. And I just thought, he was really…"

"Beautiful?"

"Yeah," he shrugs. "I mean, I knew he always was, but—"

Lenalee grabs his shoulder in excitement, but before a squeal breaks through, Lavi shakes his head forcefully.

"But I'm not bi! I like boobs! Only boobs! I've tried watching gay porn and I didn't get hard at all!" he interjects. "There's no way I can have sex with Yuu!"

Lenalee laughs. "Is that your main concern?"

Lavi shrugs. "I mean, I thought I should give some thought to it, you know? I like Yuu as a person well enough, it's just, I still think it would be really weird to kiss him."

"Lavi," Lenalee smiles slightly. "The only question really is this: do you like Kanda?"

Lavi shrugs again. "How do you know if it's like like and not just, like?"

Lenalee levels him with a thoughtful look before she brings her laptop shut and shifts to face him properly.

"Okay, let's try this. Close your eyes. Eye," she instructs and he obliges. "Imagine that I'm Kanda, alright? Kanda is next to you."

He can imagine that easily enough—his eidetic memory is sharp, he can picture Kanda exactly as how the other is. He can even picture how exactly it was like when he woke on top of Kanda that day, the toned body underneath, the warmth, the skin scent, the smooth expanse of Kanda's throat when he glanced up.

"Now, imagine that he's touching your hand."

Kanda would never hold his hand, is what he wants to say, but he obediently keeps quiet and tries to do as Lenalee says. Lenalee's palm slips into his and she holds it, giving a tactile sensation that he can work from. He does remember how Kanda's hands feel—broad, rough, but strong, and he replaces it in mind, of how it would be like if Kanda touched his hand and held it.

It's. It's…

He remembers how Kanda's hand was slipping up his waist on that day, that day…

"He's looking at you right into your eyes. Eye."

That's even easier, the dark obsidian of Kanda's stare is something he never really understands but if he's ever faced with that kind of intensity, maybe, maybe…

"If he kissed you, would you kiss him back?"

The lip press, the bit of tongue—he remembers how hot his face had been in the aftermath, staring at Kanda across the room in shock. Abruptly he yanks his hand out of Lenalee's hold and covers his mouth, snapping his eye wide open to see Lenalee's door from across him. He realises he's breathing a bit heavy, but it had been too real; his memory always had been a tad too strong.

Lenalee lets him breathe for a minute before she pats him on the shoulder. "You okay?"

"I…yeah," Lavi swallows, tugging at the collar of his shirt. "It was just a bit…" he trails off, gesturing vaguely.

She nods with a twitch of her lips. "Your face is really red. Do I want to know?" she raises an eyebrow, voice amused, but he doesn't answer.

"Lavi," she begins gently. "I think it's good that you're…giving it some thought but you know that Kanda isn't the best with his…feelings and he's really deep into it. About you. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that unless you're really sure you want you and him to be something more, don't…" she smiles kindly. "Don't lead him on, okay?"

It might be just a one time thing, so Lavi makes sure by thinking about it more. Kanda is attractive, he can deal with that, the time on top of Kanda wasn't a bad experience either, he can deal with that, and the kiss that Kanda stole from him, he might be starting to deal with that too. It's kind of nice to know that Kanda wants him—this is Kanda he's talking about, and Kanda wants him. Kissing Kanda doesn't have to be weird, does it, maybe he's just been telling himself it will be weird. Maybe it won't be, maybe it's just like kissing someone he really likes. He likes Kanda, of course he does, so shouldn't be so hard to imagine that he would enjoy it.

If it's anything like that morning, Kanda was going to French kiss him—wait, since when did Kanda ever kiss anyone?—and the body heat and smooth skin under his fingertips didn't hurt either. Different from what he's used to maybe, but that isn't to say that it wouldn't be good. Kanda is so domineering and fussy in his personality, the other would probably like to pin him down and take the control, but Lavi would fight against that, of course he would. Maybe it'd be nice to see Kanda on his back for once, looking up at him, hair splayed and messy over the sheets.

He would trail the thought further along, but ice cold water splashes on his face and he yowls straight up.

"I was awake!" he shouts, glaring at the smirking culprit with the empty cup. "Sheesh!"

Kanda snorts. "Then you should've gotten off the damn bed an hour ago. I'm leaving for class."

Lavi stares incredulously as his roommate casually puts the cup down, grabs his bag and walks out of the door. In the silence of their room he looks at the clock and realises it's an hour later than he remembers it ten minutes ago—fuck. He throws the covers off in haste, but abruptly freezes.

He's hard.

It really should call for a celebration that Kanda's feelings are apparently mutual, but this celebration doesn't occur because Lavi can't seem to get a moment to break the happy news. He worries about it in the first few days, because, hey, it is nerve wrecking to talk about feelings, there should be an appropriate moment to all this—but Kanda and he don't exactly have many moments where Kanda isn't insulting him or he's annoying the other. More days than necessary pass and Lavi thinks he should just say it, but, whenever he starts with, "Hey, Yuu, I need to tell you something," or "Hey, you got a moment?", Kanda would squint suspiciously at him and ask if he broke the microwave again, goddammit, you are fucking paying me all of the rental deposit.

He just needs a moment where Kanda will listen to him seriously but more days pass and there is never that moment so he ends up trying to make that moment. He knows Kanda doesn't like it when he sleeps in Kanda's bed and now he's starting to realise why; one, because Kanda uses really expensive bed sheets which feel amazing by the way, and two, because Kanda probably wants to sleep with him in that same bed. He guesses. It's not that far off, right?

So his brilliant plan involves him invading Kanda's bed while Kanda is in the shower and hopefully Kanda will be too annoyed (or give into temptation) to sleep next to him and then he can make sure Kanda can't run away and they can have that conversation that needs to happen. He even throws his books all over his bed so that it discourages the other from other alternatives and leaves a huge gap next to him while he pretends to have fallen asleep while Kanda is out of the room.

Like he said, Kanda's bed is really comfortable and he nearly actually falls asleep, but just before he does so the door opens. He waits in anticipation for the annoyed click of the tongue and maybe some grumbling before the bed dips from Kanda's weight, but instead he hears the annoyed click of the tongue and then the sound of all of his books being shoved onto the floor. He almost jumps up in indignance at how badly Kanda is treating his books, but he keeps his eye shut and listens to the numerous curses about him and his bloody sleeping habits. The lights flick shut and Kanda is still not next to him. When the noise settles, it's obvious that Kanda has refused to claim his own bed and instead went to take Lavi's—that's exactly not how it's supposed to work out.

Lavi wants to bang his head on the wall, but that would be painful, so he doesn't. Instead, he waits a few minutes in the silence before rustling his way out of the covers and crossing the step between their beds to slip into his own bed. He launches himself to hold Kanda around the waist first, because predictably there is an alarmed shout and struggle.

"What the—what the fuck—"

"Yuu, don't freak out—"

"What the fuck are you—"

"Yuu, just—"

"No, fucking seriously, weren't you fucking sleeping—w-what fuck are you doing?!" Kanda's voice goes high in agitation, but that's because Lavi spoons him tight and presses his nose against the back of Kanda's nape.

Kanda shivers at the touch, blood rushing to his face, hands clawing at the arms around him desperately. "Rabbit, if you don't back the fuck away—"

"Yuu, just, just listen, okay," Lavi says, breath too close to his ear, and Kanda can't help another involuntary shiver. "It's so hard to talk to you when I need to, I've been trying to tell you all week but you weren't listening and it was really hard to find just one time, one time to talk to you, goddammit. And why are you struggling when I'm holding you? I thought you would like this, since you like me and everything—"

"You fucking asshole—" Kanda begins and starts thrashing.

Lavi winces. "I didn't mean it that way, Yuu, stop—s-stop, you're fucking strong, I get it, but I need to talk to you okay, and you didn't want to come into your bed so I had to come into mine."

Kanda stops struggling immediately. "What," he says flatly. "You pretended to sleep in my bed. On purpose?"

The death threat underneath it makes him hesitate, but he nods anyway. "Like I said, I need to talk to you!"

"Then talk to me like a normal fucking person, you fucking idiot!" Kanda growls.

"Like I said," Lavi repeats indignantly, "You weren't listening!"

"You still didn't have to sleep in my goddamn bed—"

"The last time I wanted to talk to you I had to sit on you, so yes, I did have to sleep in your goddamn bed!"

Kanda grinds his teeth. "Tch," he sighs, frustrated. "So what is this stupid thing that you have to say to me?"

Lavi takes a deep breath. "Well, I uh, I…uh..." Suddenly in the silence, his throat becomes dry. "I...might…like you?" he mumbles meekly, and waits unsurely when all he gets is silence. "…Yuu?"

"…I like you more than a fucking might," Kanda growls under his breath, sounding seriously pissed. "Get out."

"This is my bed," Lavi says in reflex, because Kanda just—did Kanda just…confess….with words….

"I said, get out."

"Yuu, please," he tightens his hold as much as he can. "I've never liked a guy before, I don't know how to do this. I don't know what you want from me."

"I don't want anything from you," is the clipped reply.

"I do like you, Yuu."

"You don't."

"But—"

"You don't," Kanda says again, harshly. "Stop saying that."

Lavi frowns. "Look, I'm sure I had better things to do in the past week than to freak out over how I was going to get you to listen. I do like you, okay? I've always liked you. You're grumpy and rude and the worst person ever but you're my best friend for a reason. And you really do care about me, I—"

"I don't."

"Typical Yuu," he laughs lightly. "I've always liked you," he repeats. "And," he swallows. "I gave it some thought and I think I like you...more. For instance, do you know that you smell really good?"

"W-what," Kanda stutters, clearly at a loss.

"You always do, but," Lavi breathes in deeply, affixing his face into the crook of Kanda's neck from the back. "Yeah. I like this," he murmurs, closing in from behind, tight, and presses his hips against the other's ass. "I like you. How much clearer do you want me to be?"

He's shameless rubbing his boner against his roommate, he's really hoping the other doesn't freak out (more), but hey—he's felt Kanda's first, on that morning. Kanda keeps silent but he's not pushed away, so he clings on and enjoys the body warmth, until he feels Kanda groping at his hands to pry the hold apart.

"Let up."

"I really do like—"

"I get it already, just let up," Kanda orders, and Lavi reluctantly does so.

Once free, Kanda turns around so that they're facing each other, and in the darkness, Lavi can't see how dark the other is blushing, but at the same time, Kanda can't see his facial complexion either. He does, however, see the glint in Kanda's eyes. It's better than anything he could have imagined—the intensity of it yet laced with a tinge of uncertainty that makes it so real. Lavi's mouth runs dry when Kanda's fingers digs into the front of his shirt, though the stare is determined, the hand fidgets with a bit of hesitance, before Kanda pulls him in.

Their teeth clack painfully in the darkness, but its easy adjustment to find a more comfortable level. It's not Lavi's first kiss, he knows how to kiss, so he molds their lips together and savours the feeling; it's not weird at all, it's actually very, very nice, and soon enough their tongues are brushing hotly against each other. He moans softly at the sensation, hands absentmindedly digging into the back of Kanda's hair, and he manages to breathe deeply once before Kanda's hand is under his waist to turn him flat on his back before moving over him. Domineering and fussy, as he had expected, with the increasingly aggressive way Kanda explores his mouth, hands sliding up and down under his shirt. When they break apart, both of them are breathing hard.

"W-wow. Okay. Wow," he says again, breathless. "How long did you want to do that to me?"

Lavi smirks slightly as Kanda scowls sourly at him. "Shut up."

He's treated to a more aggressive lip-lock than the last, but he's not going to just take it, of course not—he's taller and heavier and he does work out, so he does manage to flip their positions over. He grins darkly at the sight of face below him looking annoyed but there is also that undeniable swallow of want.

"How long did you want me to do this to you?" he breathes, smirking wider.

Kanda glares, yanking him back down before more words are spoken.

Fin.

A/N: There was supposed to be an omake where Lavi realises that Kanda is really unenthusiastic for a person who supposedly has feelings for him (the first and for a long time too), lol the irony.