Well, I hunted down my coauthor.

"Mmmph" he said muffled by the sound of the bandana tied around his mouth.

What the fuck did you expect? You ran off with sensitive information about my future stories and you stole all my beer. You really think I wasn't about to punish you?

Jellal had a dejected look on his face as he knew resistance was futile. After all, I am the author of this story. Technically, I can do whatever I want. And what I want is to continue this story. So you're gonna keep your drug carteled tattooed blue haired mouth shut while I narrate this story for the time being.

Muffled voices sounded from Jellal. Oh? You agree? Good! Now, let us get on with it!

...

Cobra stood outside the gates of Mermaid Heel, unsure of how to approach the all female guild. Yeah, yeah, he's one of the most powerful dark mages in all of Fiore's history, but that still didn't keep him from being scared of a bunch of pissed off females. Smart man, after all..

Remember what I told Jellal in chapter three? I think it was three, anyway, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Cobra took that message to heart.

Anyway, the poison dragon slayer stalked around the outside of the guild. Granted, most of the mages from the guild were at Fairy Tail right now celebrating at the party to end all parties. But the Master of the guild was still here, which made this journey all the more scarier. Granted, she was probably here to keep perverted men from breaking in and sniffing her beloved mage's panties, which Cobra couldn't disagree with such a cause. After all, there were a lot of fucked up men out there. But he wasn't one of them. He only wanted to be in the presence of his mate, and although he barely knew the woman, he was determined to mark her as his. Spell be damned, she would be his.

He crept around the gate and perched himself on the statue, listening for any guards or onlookers. Hearing none, he moved toward the inside of the hall. Still hearing nothing out of the ordinary, he continued toward the path of his love, listening for any stray mages that may have stayed behind and not enjoyed the party that Fairy Tail was hosting. He continued until he heard a voice behind him.

"I told you that if you followed me, I would cut you up and make you into my own personal snakeskin coat" Kagura's menacing voice sounded from behind the poison dragon slayer.

'How the hell did she sneak up on me' he asked himself, astonished that he couldn't hear her. After all, no one, even Natsu, was ever able to beat his superior listening skills. The only reason he was able to beat him in their fight was that he had a head full of nothing; literally too dumb to think, and that's what did him in. Also, Erza, Jellal, and Merudy were able to block his magic, but that's probably just because they were just who he said they were; Erza, Jellal, and Merudy. Probably the three strongest mages in Fiore. Well, next to Kagura, who was proven to be stronger than a Jupiter Cannon. Speaking of which, said Jupiter Cannon girl had a sword held to his throat.

"Are you deaf, or just plain stupid?" Kagura asked with a murderous glint in her eyes.

"You're such a gorgeous nightmare" Cobra smirked at her.

"What?" She asked, dumbfounded by the man's response.

"I've been listening to Escape the Fate too much. Just forget I said that" he explained quickly, not wanting his dumb response to be the death of him. Taking in her harsh glare, he could tell she wasn't in the mood for joking even without his hearing abilities to listen in on her thoughts. "Um, so how is your night going?" He asked lamely in a very casual voice, hoping to lighten the mood a tad bit, seeing as she still had the sword held to his throat.

"Aside from you thinking that you are entitled to grope me whenever you want, it's been a great night" she spat in yet an equally casual and lame tone. I don't even know how that's possible. Probably because she's Kagura.

Ouch. Well, at least Cobra knew not to get so touchy feely with her anymore. "I'm sorry Kagura" he said earnestly. Really, he was sorry. It wasn't like the strongest woman in Fiore holding a sword to his throat had anything to do with his apology, I swear.

Fuck, who am I kidding? Unless Mr. Bleach Drinker comes up with something smoother than a baby's ass, he's as good as dead.

"Look, this weird ass spell placed on me wants me to mark you as my mate" he explained. Still not removing the blade from his neck, Kagura let him continue. "I know it may seem sudden, but I feel like this may be a sign that I was meant to fall in love with you. I'm sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable, but if you could give me a chance then I'd like to prove I'd be a worthy man for you" he explained in an honest manner. Really, who knew the poison dragon could speak such honest and, well, corny words?

It wasn't like him dying played a part in this at all.

Kagura lowered her sword as tears began to drip from her eyes. "I'm sorry, but I can't help you with your dilema" she muttered. Erik shot an eyebrow up at her statement.

"Why not? I mean, one date couldn't hurt, right? Unless, well, you're not already seeing someone, are you?" He asked, hoping he wouldn't receive the answer he thought he would get. Judging by her earlier reaction, however, he doubted it would be that simple.

"I am actually" she admitted. "After awhile of Millianna following me around, we kind of started a relationship. We had a lot of similar interests, and being in an all-woman's guild, we don't meet many men. So we decided to start a relationship in order to satisfy each other's needs" she explained as she hung her head. "And I haven't admitted that to anyone yet, so if word gets out about this I will kill you" she threatened as she sheathed her sword.

Cobra couldn't keep his jaw from dropping. "You're a lesbian?" He shouted, a little too loud for Kagura's liking.

"I told you to keep your mouth shut!" Kagura shouted, slicing her sword at him, to which he dodged. Mulling it over for a second, Cobra decided on what he needed to do.

"I promise I won't tell anyone" he told her as he bowed to her. "But that doesn't mean that I'm just gonna stop trying to win your heart. After all, it may sound selfish, but my very life depends on it." Cobra exited the guild shaking his head.

Just great. Now what the fuck was he supposed to do?

...

"Hey, Erza" Mira adressed the cake obsessed requip mage as she sat at the bar. "You know, this idea of two men fighting over me is really sexy, I'm not gonna lie."

"Yeah, I know how you feel" she admitted. "I felt like that when I watched Natsu beat the shit out of Jellal. However, he was always the idiot that put other's happiness before his own, and ended up letting Jellal have me" she admitted. "Not to say I'm disappointed, but I kinda wonder what it would be like if I would've given myself a chance to be with Natsu." She looked on wistfully, thoughts of both men filling her head as she stared off into space.

"Wow, way to steal my thunder bitch!" Mira gave a half-assed yell, reverting back to her old self for a second and causing a few of the patrons who weren't involved in the day's debacle to stare at her in confusion. Clearing her throat, she returned to her present bubbly self as she continued to make her point. "Anyway, although I do have two great men chasing after me, I don't think I could handle my own harem. So what I was getting at was that maybe you could take one of them off my hands, and since Gajeel's life is kind of reliant on my love for him, maybe you could take Midnight off my hands?"

Erza actually spat out her cake at Mira's suggestion. "You can't be serious right now?"

"Why not? He's cute" she beamed.

"Aside from the fact that I don't think that we are very compatible, I have a boyfriend Mira" she reasoned.

"Well your boyfriend is gone and probably won't be back for awhile" she said as she gave a wink to the sky.

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, I just do" she said casually. Somewhere, Jellal's muffled protests could be heard, but wherever that was, no one cared.

"Come on, what's the worst that could happen?" Mira attempted to coax the redhead into doing what she wanted her to do. Erza thought for a moment before she grudgingly agreed.

"Fine. I'll go out with him. But only one date!"

"Yes! Alright, I'll let him know!" She beamed as she swooned over toward the gothic looking man.

...

"Hey, Juvia!" Lyon and Sting tried to grab the blunette's attention. However, her glare was focused on the young maiden of the sky, meanwhile completely ignoring the two thirsty boys.

Haha, since Juvia is a water mage, she'd be the perfect woman for some thirsty hard up teenager.

Okay, with that terrible joke aside..

Gray watched the scene unfold in front of him and could only shake his head at everything. Lyon and Sting were bickering about who loves Juvia more, while said water woman was in the middle of a fight with the guild's youngest member. And somewhere in the middle the god slayer of the sky had turned and began clinging onto the sky dragon, glaring harshly at Lyon. He had long ago stripped his clothes off in frustration at the mages.

This was just a level of idiocy that he wasn't comfortable with.

For God sakes, he'd rather be hanging out with Natsu than putting up with this shit. Speaking of which, where was that flame-brained fuck right now? Shouldn't he be starting a guild wide brawl, or invoking Erza's wrath, or showing off his 'moves like jagger' as he liked to call them. Gray shook his head at that thought as well. Natsu dancing was just something that he wasn't comfortable seeing. And no matter what anyone says, Natsu was not 'sexy', and he sure as hell did not 'know it'. That moron wouldn't know his ass from a hole in the ground anyway.

Alright, moving on from this shitty little love polygon. There needs to be some sort of plot development anyway. And Gray's eechi little Natsu thoughts don't count.

Ugh.

What the fuck are you staring at, stripper?

Gray stared up at the sky for what seemed like hours. Well, it really didn't, but it's a form of comparison. Anyway, said man finally worked up the courage to speak, seeing as no one was paying attention to him anyway. "Fuck you Kevin."

Well, right back at you you perverted ice prick.

...

a/n. If you follow my other stories, One Last Sin should be updated tomorrow, To Kingdom Come shortly after that? Can't make any promises though, life has kinda been kicking my ass lately.

Reviews are always appreciated.