Request by thisdarkpassenger: Can you do an aftermath of chapter17. Damon and the gang finding out about Stefan,... And Katherine too maybe.

Disclaimer: I don't own tvd, it belongs to Julie Plec and L.J Smith, I am just using the characters and storylines for my own stories.

Thanks for those who have been reading and reviewing so far!

He's nothing but dust and bone when they find him.

Drifting away on the wind, his ring an empty solace on the hillside.

The devastation hits Damon like a tidal wave. Stefan's gone.

Suicide...

No. No. He's not, he wouldn't, he can't be. Damon scrabbles wildly for anything, proof that at any moment, Stefan will come wandering up the hill, demanding to know what all the shrieking from Caroline and Bonnie and Elena is all about, but there isn't any. All there is left to hold onto is his daylight ring, an undead promise to remain cursed forever. There is nothing else. Stefan doesn't come back, because he's dead.

It hurts.

Hurts because when he realised Stefan wasn't at the reception, he couldn't have possibly expected to find him like this. Burned to dust, ashes to ashes.

"...Stefan! Stefan, oh God..."

"Please, no..."

"...terrible..."

"Damon, I'm so sorry..."

Murmerings rush around him, overwhelming. His chest burns, his fangs itch, Stefan's ring digs into his hands, and all of a sudden he can't breathe and his whole body aches with grief because, oh, Stefan, his brother of two hundred years is dead.

"Get away." He says hoarsely. He feels a hand on his shoulder and his lungs concave. Elena. "Get away!" He yells, and feels her flinch back as he finally finds room to lurch to his feet.

Why? Thunders through Damon's mind, as he stumbles away. Why now? He had been happy. Well, almost. His relationship with Caroline was getting back on track, they'd both found out the mother they'd grieved for two centuries was still alive, Damon himself along with Bonnie had returned back to life, so it doesn't make sense.

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy...

Damon can't think of anything else. It pounds through him, in his blood, invades his brain, numbs his body with grief, and he doesn't know where he's going, doesn't know until he walks into a door and finds himself in a small room next to the registry office where Alaric and Jo just spoke their vows. He doesn't know what drew him to this particular room, but he needs the peace and quiet.

He needs to mourn Stefan.

Everything becomes insignificant in those next few minutes. Anyone, anything, everything to do with anything else that has nothing to do with Stefan.

His journal sits innocently on the table. Vaguely he remembers Stefan mentioning leaving his journal someplace until after the ceremony, and briefly wonders if he knew Damon would come here and find it. A rage ignites its way through his body and he marches over to it, determined to take his anger out on some part of Stefan that is still left in this world for leaving him, but then he stops. A curiosity blazes through him instead.

He wants to know what his brother's mindset was during these last few weeks. How long he'd been suicidal, what suddenly drove him right over the edge. He wants to know why.

Damon rips open the book with far more force than necessary, breaking the lock and sending pages scattering to the ground. He snatches them up, stuffing them back into the back of the journal, when two catch his eye. They're long and narrow envelopes that could easily be mistaken for several pieces of paper, but it's not that that strikes Damon's heart.

One of these particular envelopes has his name on it.

In his hurry, he tears it several times before he reaches the paper within that carries his brother's last words, and then holds it gently in his hands, like some sort of treasured possession.

Damon,

I'm sorry. I have to do this. It's not that I don't value the life I've built these last few years, it's just that I'm going insane, insane for her, and I can't stand it anymore. I want her so much it's consuming me alive. I need her. I should never have killed her, her death was by my hand and I hate myself for it. I see her constantly, she haunts me everyday, reminding me what it was to love and be loved by her, and I need to be with her. I hope one day you understand. I hope you all do. I love you.

At first, Damon is bewildered. Who's the she? If it's not Caroline, then who is it? He stares dumbfounded at the last words of his brother, shaky and barely readable, before he begins to understand.

"Oh, brother." He whispers, clutching the paper to his chest. The tears come then, streaming unashamedly down his face as he grasps the implication of who Stefan Salvatore was.

He thinks he understands his brother now more than he ever has.

-X-

He feels raw now. He feels everything more than he has ever felt before, like his brother's absence has seared a gaping hole in his soul that will never heal.

Guilt is one of the first to surface. The guilt that he didn't realise, not once, that Stefan was suffering, when the signs were all there, in plain sight, and more pieces of the story have come together in his mind every day since the tragic wedding that saw him lose his brother forever. Something particular snags at his mind. When Stefan was vacant for what was probably not just his recent Ripper binge.

"What's wrong with you today?" He asked. Stefan turned to look at him. To his surprise, he looked...empty, almost as though something was sucking the light out of him.

"Everything." He whispered.

It's only now that Damon knows what he meant.

The worst part was, that even if they found a way to bring Stefan back, he had chosen to kill himself, and so if he was with her, if they had truly found each other, he wouldn't want to come back, and he doesn't know how to accept it, what to even tell other people, let alone himself.

He doesn't know what to make of it. The people standing in front him. Caroline strikes him the most. Her red-rimmed eyes, the grey tinge to her cheeks and the shadows on her face show that she's not taking this well. Of course. She thinks she wasn't enough for him, that he didn't love her, but he did. Damon knows he did. He just so happened to also love a ghost.

"Damon, are you going to tell me what's going on here?" His mother asks sharply. He blinks and returns to reality. She stands the closest in front of him; he had just let her out of her cell, because whilst he's worried that Stefan's death may cause her to rip this town apart, he also knows that he wouldn't like to be told that his son was dead whilst trapped, starved and lonely in a cellar.

"What is it?" Lily asks, still unaware. Damon slowly approaches her, dreading the moment. Because he's not sure if his mother will care or not, and he's not entirely sure if he wants her to. "What's happened?"

Damon keeps walking until he's right in front of her. "Stefan's dead, Lily." He looks squarely into her eyes, those eyes, so much like her children's, widening in horror. "He committed suicide early last night, during the wedding reception."

"What? Why? I thought -" Lily swallows hard, looking more confused and vaguely hurt than anything. "I thought he was happy." Maybe she's upset, but her emotions are caged behind her face. Maybe her friends are the key to unleashing them. It doesn't matter, he doesn't care about that, he cares about what's important. His brother is what's important.

"It's a long story. One that began one hundred and fifty years ago." Damon begins. His voice sounds distant, as though he's underwater. He laughs inwardly. Many a story to tell there as well. This however, is a story he is not just telling her, but telling everyone here. Stefan deserves this, deserves an excuse for ending his life that doesn't invoke pity, but empathy and sympathy.

"He was in love once. She died, or he thought she did. He moved on. She came back. He thought he didn't care anymore. Lots of things mattered more. But then she became human, and, God... she was a survivor through and through, and he tried to help her find peace despite everything that had happened between them, but she did some horrible things," he glanced at Elena. "to survive the death she knew was coming to her. And then he killed her in cold blood to save the woman who stole her face, when she stole her body. But he cared, Stefan did, more than anyone I've ever met, and he loved her still. They understood each other, I think, so much more than I or anyone else could ever understand them. He loved her so much that he became insane with the grief of losing her, and the taunting of her memory, and so felt he had to join this woman to be at peace."

This is Stefan's story, his life, his death, his. And the girl his world spun around for, even if he didn't always know it.Besides, she had captured his brother's attention, his love, his trust. Damon supposes she deserves some recognition for that as well.

"And that woman was Katherine Pierce."

The silence in the room afterward is so palpable that he could cut it with a knife.

-X-

The funeral is on Monday.

It's properly done, with a priest, and closest friends.

No one has anything but nice things to say.

"He was so kind and compassionate towards everyone he met..."

"Not a bad thing to say about anyone..."

"Even when he had endured so much agony, he found it in him to keep going..."

Of course, no one's ever mocked the dead. And yeah, those things might be true, but he wouldn't want that. He had killed, and loved every second of it, and spent the rest of his eternal life feeling guilty about it, feeling like he didn't deserve to live, and that Damon feels, Stefan would want to be recognised for. For being good despite being bad.

Caroline is the next to stand up, red-eyed and stoic, because this is all too fresh in her mind. They all agreed they would say some sort of eulogy in his memory, and it was an unspoken agreement that Damon would perform a longer speech, the proper one, in a way.

"The first thing I think I should say about Stefan is that he was not a saint. Not like everyone believed. Yeah, he had good intentions, and a good heart, compassionate and kind, but that was because he struggled so hard with the person he was deep down. But he didn't let it define him. And he always did what he thought was right by everyone else. I loved him for that. But, he never did it for himself, and so he was never truly happy. And, leaving this world was the right thing to do for himself."

Caroline steps down from the podium, as Damon stands up, again reminiscent of another day, another dark time, but this time he hugs her. Because what she said was what he would have wanted to hear. The truth. "He loved you too, you know. He just couldn't stop running from the past anymore. Just know that." Damon whispers into her ear.

Caroline pulls away and smiles sadly. "I know." She whispers.

Damon steps up onto the podium and holds his speech tight in his hand, Stefan's letter enfolded in the other. He can almost feel him, his brother, standing next to him, can see him from the corner of his eye, watching, waiting.

Taking a deep breath, he begins. "I never really understood Stefan in the years he had been my brother. Why he was so self-sacrificing, why he bothered to forgive me for every terrible thing I've done to ruin his life all for trapping me in one that I now can't imagine not living. But, uh," he swallows nervously. "when I saw him, his ring on that hill, I realised that the reason he did all that for me, is because he understood me. More than anyone. And I'll never be more grateful for that, because he knew how to be my brother. And no, he wasn't a good person, or a saint like people believed, but he tried to be, and he was a good brother, and that's what matters. He saved me, kept me going for years, and now, I hope he's found something to keep him going too."

He turns to look at the vase containing Stefan's remains. "Goodbye, Stefan." He closes his eyes to regain control of himself, then steps down, hurrying back to his seat. Elena grabs his hand, but Damon doesn't really care, or notice. The service continues, a distant sound to his ears. He pulls out Stefan's letter, to bide the time, to feel close to him again when something else falls out.

The last envelope to Caroline. He'd almost forgotten all about it, but he feels it'll do good now. After the service, he hands it over to Caroline, who stares at it, and then him, blankly.

"There were only two of those. The first he gave to me. So there's your proof that he loved you. Enough to let you go."

The priest takes the vase containing what of Stefan's ashes they found, preparing to head out into the cemetery, when Damon stops him.

"I - I want to carry it. Out to my family crypt."

He doesn't even need to compel him. Ah, well. Pity. It's a bitch that can come in handy.

He takes the vase, looks at it, and everyone around him: Elena, Caroline, Matt, Tyler, Bonnie, Jeremy, Alaric, Jo, his mother. All standing there, stoic-eyed and silent.

Wrapping his hands tightly around his brother's remains, he heads off, walking determinedly down the hill, towards the crypt. He doesn't even have to look behind him to know that everyone else is following behind. The building looms up in front of him, overwhelming and desolate, and he recalls coming to this very spot to see Stefan after his return, and now a tiny part of him can't help but hope that maybe Stefan is sitting in there. Or maybe, if he waits long enough, Stefan will return himself and visit him. He opens the door and steps carefully inside, as though the fragility of the building depends on his footsteps.

Stefan isn't there.

It catches up to him, the pain, swift and unforgiving, and it strikes him so deep in his heart that he can't escape.

He places the urn on a bench with shaking fingers, and then the crying starts. He breaks down, completely and utterly all at once because the acceptance and finality that Stefan cannot be saved, will not come back to him has finally bowed him down onto his knees, and when it's all over and done, Damon finds himself slumping to the floor, body shaking with wracking sobs of agony.

Brother...

It's pain, and rage, and fire, and for a long time, he sits there, shaking, until it's all gone, and only one thought remains.

I wish you'd taken me with you.

-X-

There is fire.

She remembers that clearly. The dark fire, and how it burns.

It's not something she could forget so easily, and it's not exactly like she could, because she's all alone.

She's alone and she's here forever, trapped, and she can't help but know that it's all her fault, but deep down inside her there is a young girl called Katerina Petrova who could have brought her to heaven and saved her from hell.

Sometimes she dreams of her. That little girl, who lost a battle against her treacherous family, and who waged a war against a psychotic hybrid that won't ever end, even now, when she is no longer a living participant. She sees things, wisps of desire, hopes and wishes long gone past, but most of all, she sees the love of her life.

Stefan Salvatore.

She dreams of his conflictions, his fears, his life. She sees him mourn for Damon. She sees him fall for Caroline Forbes. She sees his mother and Damon's miraculous return. She sees him topple over the edge again. And she is with him through every single part of it.

She sees him go insane for her. Literally.

Though there are parts where she is vacant. Absent from his life, where darkness hollows her soul, and she feels lost to the abyss again. She eventually claws her way back, kicking and screaming with pure defiance, but at the cost of time itself.

It takes her longer every time to come back to him.

It tears him apart, she knows. The decision, to leave her or them. He needs them all in his life, but she needs him here.

So, she pushes him. Be with me. Don't love a ghost for the rest of your life. Love me for eternity.

She watches him choose. It's an agonising sight, because she fears that she will never see him again, that he will shut her out from the recesses of his mind for eternity and she will be alone again. She watches him leave the wedding party as the sun goes down, but can't see anything more. Because the darkness, it clouds her judgement and drags her away, from this person who has always been more than the person she expected him to be, and then steals her hope from her.

No! Her mind screams. Give him back to me! Katherine can't mourn a man she doesn't know the fate of. She can't escape grief for a man she can never stop loving. "Give him back to me!" She shrieks hysterically. She has long since lost the ability to cry tears, but she sobs dryly anyway.

"I wasn't expecting you to be so possessive." A wry voice says behind her. She whirls around, and smiles when she sees him. The hysteria calms. She goes over and hugs him, feeling the solidness of his body under hers, reuniting with the joy of having a companion in solitude and relishing in his scent.

"Oh, God, I couldn't see you. I thought -" her throat closes up. I thought you left me.

"I don't know how long I've been here." He whispers into her hair. "I couldn't find you, I thought it had been for nothing, and I was scared I had lost you forever."

She pulls back and touches his face. Cold and smooth, just like she remembers. "I'm here now. Where did you go? You must have been wandering around here for days."

He looks upset, she realises. He has tears in his eyes that have yet to fade away. "I went to the funeral at first." He says, and then he swallows. "Just to see who was there. It was nice. But everyone had nice things to say. I didn't want nice. My brother knew that. He wasn't nice, he was wonderful." His voice cracks slightly, and suddenly she recognises the pull she has on him, understands what he left behind for a tiny, insignificant chance of finding her.

"Thank you for giving him up for me." She whispers, pulling on his jacket. She kisses him, and for a moment she sees the people they could have become had he not killed her, and had she not abandoned him, but it is insignificant now.

"Katherine." He mutters, as he kisses her again. She smiles into his lips, sighing with relief. He loves her, and in return her love for him obliterates and consumes her with wild, passionate sanity. He chose her. He chose to leave his life behind to find her in hell itself. Now they are here, together, for eternity. Now they can watch life and death pass by together.

She isn't so alone anymore.

The next update should be quicker. Thanks for reading. And thanks again for all the reviews so far, they've been really supporting, please, keep them coming! And feel free to drop in or PM any suggestions. :-)