Takano's on a course again. Again.

At first, Ritsu had been overjoyed. No annoying nagging, telling him when to eat or sleep or work, for a whole week.

He had danced in joy and couldn't stop smiling the first morning. There was no annoying back aches or soreness that always came when Takano rode him too hard (which was always). There was no annoying men telling him to make coffee or hogging up the shower.

At work, there was no freaking shouts or whacks from his absent boss. He could take naps whenever he wanted. He could read his stuff peacefully without being interrupted by random shouts from the black-haired devil.

But then, by the second or third day, or somewhere in between, he'd begun to realise something horrifyingly terrible. He missed him. It is completely illogical and unacceptable! How can he miss the freaking bastard that wouldn't get off his back or let him have a moment to himself? It just doesn't make sense. And what the hell, he should check himself into a mental hospital sooner or later, because this is the first sign that he's gonna crack. Oh, it won't be long now before he finally went bonkers. Just a matter of time...

Yet however, try as he might, he just couldn't deny these feelings that had sneaked into his heart. The bastard! He just wanted a normal peaceful life, rocket his career and maybe inherit his father's company, but noooo, this black-haired tawny-eyes devil just had to barge in rudely and reawaken everything he had tried to forget. Yes, he said it. He definitely did try to forget that short-lived romance with Saga-senpai, however sweet it started with. Now it was just a bittersweet memory at the back of his head, reminding his past foolishness and stupidity. He just gave away his heart like it was a piece of free ricecake, back when he was a young high-schooler. And then he'd laughed and he ran away and dealt with the pain and shock by trying to forget. And then that devil is now back in his life, crazily and randomly enough, as if the heavens wanted to give them a second chance.

No, bloody hell, that was not the way to think of it. It is a curse! Not a stupid second chance.

Somehow he'd still gotten trapped in Takano's embrace. And he still couldn't escape. At a point they started living together, or rather, Takano forced him to live with him. And since they'd already been spending every night together what's the difference...?

The house felt cold and unfamiliar now as he buttoned up his shirt. Everything was quiet - too quiet. Usually Takano would be washing the dishes after the meal he'd just prepared, and there would be the sounds of life in the kitchen. But now... he could hear his own breathing, if he tried. He ate his meals alone, and since he couldn't cook, he'd been buying take outs from restaurants and quick -fix meals from the nearby 7-eleven convenience store. He had become too accustomed to Takano always being there for him, always preparing his meals and taking care of his nutrition, that living without him is hard. Not just the easily able-to-get-over hard, it's the what-the-hell-where-are-you-I-can't-live-without-you kind of hard. As much as he hated to admit it, Takano has become one of the major stable shelters in his life, the one he could count on for being there even when the times get rough and he wilted from work overdose.

And now he's just not here anymore. A Takano-shaped boulder weighted on his heart, constantly reminding him of the young man with the rare smile who is missing from his life. Crap, even he's starting to think that he's turning into a sissy. Well, it was like he was back to when there was no Takano in his life, just like in the beginning. But the difference is startling, and he couldn't remember how he carried on when he had been alone. He must have been so lonely, and had never noticed it. His recollections from that period only consisted of a blur or work and sleep and gorging on take-outs.

Damn, he thought. There must be a way to cure this loneliness, this hole in his heart. If only he'd known how.

Work was unexciting. The other workers, tired and listless, went about with their tasks, only communicating when it was required. They were in the middle of their cycle, and it was strange without Takano there shouting at them to hurry it up. And the productivity was indeed lower than usual.

At 11.30 he went home, eyes almost shutting with exhaustion as he walked his way home.

Crawling on the bed, he removed his coat and laid at the side of his bed, thinking. Takano's spot was empty and cold. Usually they'd have sex at this point, and afterwards, they'd cuddle. It was Onodera's favourite part of it all. Sighing with frustration, he grabbed Takano's pillow and hugged it to his chest, all at once feeling childish and pathetic. But there was his scent - faint and almost unrecognisable, but it was there. It was a sort of musk and cherry blossoms. And the Marlboro cigarettes he loved so much.

The tall black-haired man with eyes of a hawk let himself in quietly. It had been a long week, that's for sure. And a redundant one at that. Sure, the course did bring up a few excellent points, but it wasn't as if Takano wasn't aware of them. His experiences with manga and storylines had given him wide coverage of a variety of styles, plots, and ideas.

Slipping the scarf off his neck, he glanced at the clock briefly and sighed. 3.30 A.M. The train from Hokkaido had been late. He was supposed to arrive 2 hours earlier.

Yawning, he approached the sleeping man on his bed and stopped short.

The damned idiot was hugging his pillow.

If he drooled his gonna kill him, but part of him thinks it's absolutely cute.

He was just going to snatch his pillow from the sleeping man, but Onodera's lips moved. Leaning closer, he heard, "T-Takano... Takano-san..."

It had been gradual, but one day he'd noticed it. The murmurs of "Saga senpai" in his sleep had gradually turned into "Takano-san". Takano considered it an improvement. It meant that he's falling in love with the man in front of him. The "saga senpai" was a heartbroken, lonely and anguished boy that Takano preferred not to think about. The past memories and hurts should lie in the past.

"Ta...Taka...no... ahh... mmh..."

It was slightly disturbing and sweet, he supposed. It's a good thing that he continues to haunt him in his dreams.

"Takano... d-don't... I can't... hold it in..."

Hmph?! His golden eyes widened. The exhaustion vanished immediately, disappearing with the foggy bittersweet memories of his youth.

"N-not so... hard... I w-want..."

Quickly he grabbed the pillow and flunked it away. There it was - a small tent in his trousers. Takano stifled a laugh. Wet dreams at his age? Really amusing.

Reaching out he let a finger rest on the feverish boy's cheek, and tapped twice.

"H-huh?"

The emerald orbs opened like two glistening pearls. His cheeks were flushed a delicate pink color like the sakura blossoms.

"So, someone's up for a good fucking." he let the smirk pull his lips up.

The blush on the young man deepened.

And that was the way he liked it. His young love, his past love, his first love - it was just Onodera Ritsu. He couldn't forget and he wouldn't. The guy in front of him that seemed changed but yet still the same kind pure soul he was last time. No time to remove their clothes. He couldn't control himself.

Leaning forward, he gave a lingering kiss to his lips and at the same time started unzipping the trousers of the guy in front of him.

"Ritsu... I love you..." came the breathy whisper at the same time as his fingers fondled the tip of his lover's hardening member.

The emerald orbs widened.