A/N: Hermione and Ron pop into a magic store owned by Mr Gilderoy Lockhart. Muggle!AU. This was just so much fun to write, and so challenging to try and fit all the prompts into a logical sequence of events. RxR. FxF. I do not own Harry Potter.

Submission for:

Hogwarts Fair 2014 Challenge/Competition: Hoopla. Prompts: Nomophobia, Lucius Malfoy, Gilderoy/Gilderoy, A Muggle magic shop, Monopoly

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)- Muggle Studies Assignment 2 (Word count: 1242)

Ring of Fire/King's Cup Challenge: Gilderoy/Gilderoy

"Are you even listening to me, Ron?" Hermione asked exasperatedly as she and her boyfriend walked hand in hand. Well, the hand that he wasn't currently using to play mobile games.

Why did he even ask her to go with him to the mall if he was just gonna have his head glued to his phone the whole time? She had tried everything to get his attention away from the device: stopping in front of the big TVs in the electronics store during the football match, sitting at the food court and waving a burger under his nose, even stuffing the phone in her bra and seemingly out of reach. But after an embarrassing and unromantic boob grab in front of some shocked little kids, he was still ignoring her in favour of his phone.

Her eyes glanced lazily around at the stores. She was easily getting bored of this outing and her boyfriend wasn't helping. Then she saw Gilderoy's Glimmer and Gadgets. It was an odd kind of magic store/variety store filled so many baubles and gizmos, all cheesey but very entertaining. She pulled her oblivious boyfriend into the store.

Her eyes scanned the shelves, picking up all the little trinkets that caught her eye. She waved magic wands about the place which shot off small sparks in the air. She shuffled decks of cards and tried to follow the instructions on the back of the box to perform the card tricks perfectly. She donned a tall purple wizard hat with silver stars and long white beard. Ron looked up long enough to say, "You look like our Math teacher, Mr Dumbledore," before going back into the twilight zone. She growled and grabbed the phone from his hands, then sprinted away.

There was a second where Ron was still in the same position before realized he was hunched over his empty palm and began to run after his girlfriend. "Hermione, give it back! Me and Harry were just texting about the upcoming football match against the Slytherins!" Ron pleaded from behind her with outstretched hands. There was panic in his heart as it beat faster and his fingers began twitching uncontrollably.

Hermione ducked through an aisle, ignoring the weird stares of the fake eyeballs floating in the jars on the shelves, and shouted, "Harry is just as bad as you are with his phone. There's more to life that phones, Ronald!"

She wasn't looking where she was going and she walked right into a tall gentleman. She stumbled slightly and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Sir. I wasn't looking where I was going."

"That's quite alright," the man said as he turned around.

Hermione's eyes widened, "Hello Malfoy, what brings you here?" They weren't the closest of friends but he was her lab partner in Chemistry and they had somewhat of a friendly relationship.

He blushed a bit before holding up a translucent white bag, "Astoria loves these chocolate frogs and Gilderoy's is the only place that sells them."

"Oh that's nice. Tell her I said hi," Hermione said with a smile. She had also met Malfoy's girlfriend, Astoria, and she was a nice girl.

"Mine!" Ron said grumpily as he took his phone from Hermione's hand while she was distracted. He was already feeling calmer with the device in his hands and his heart rate slowed down. He walked moodily away from her, not even noticing Hermione talking to one of the guys on the Slytherin team he couldn't stand, his head already back to the bright screen.

Hermione would have cursed her boyfriend right there in front of Malfoy if a loud voice hadn't drawn both their attentions, but not Ron's.

"Draco! Your mother needs us home now," a man said as he approached the pair. His pale blonde hair was immaculate and his black, tailored suit impeccable. "Ms Granger," Lucius Malfoy greeted with a stern nod.

"Hello, Mr Malfoy," Hermione said shyly. The older Malfoy always intimidated her, and seemed to always be looking down at her but couldn't understand why. She had never done anything to offend the man.

"Let's go, Draco," Mr Malfoy said tersely, walking away without waiting for his son.

Draco shrugged before following behind his father, "See you around, Granger."

Once she was left alone, Hermione called out to her boyfriend and was met with a low grunt from the aisle over. She rolled her eyes at his immaturity. She would go and grab the phone again but she really couldn't be bothered.

Hermione walked up to the store counter and leaned over it. "Hey Mr Lockhart," Hermione said brightly. She had had a few conversations with the man and he seemed like an alright guy, but it was obvious he thought he was God's gift to mankind: that perfectly coiffed 'naturally highlighted' hair, those dazzling white teeth that could blind bats, those high cheekbones and dimples, and the way he flirted with all the women. If she wasn't 25 years younger than him, he'd probably flirt with her too.

"Hello, my dear. You look ravishing today," he said with a smile and a wiggle of a perfectly groomed eyebrow. Scratch the flirting thing. "What can I do for you today?"

"What do you got new in stock?" Hermione asked.

Mr Lockhart bent low before producing a tall mirror from under the counter. "I bought a set of mirrors recently. They're supposed to show your one true love." Hermione resisted the urge to laugh. Yes, Mr Lockhart had been swindled once more. He propped the mirror up on the counter and said, "Take a look, my dear."

Hermione gazed into the mirror and saw herself: her frizzy brown hair, her dark brown eyes, the small piercing in her nose. No true love there. "I don't think it works, Mr Lockhart."

"Nonsense," he said with a wave of his hand, "It works for me."

He turned the mirror back towards himself and he took a long look at it. Then he began to speak to his reflection, "Aren't you a devilishly handsome man? All the ladies want you and all the men want to be you, maybe some even want you too. They're practically begging you to rip their clothes off and take you right then and there. Wait until I get to rip your clothes off later. We are going to have loads of fun tonight."

Hermione stepped back awkwardly, wishing she could wash her ears, her eyes and maybe even her mouth. She knew Mr Lockhart was... different, but not this different, and his suggestive facial expressions were not helping.

"Ok, I just beat your high score on the Monopoly game. Did you find anything you like, Hermi-" Ron had come up behind her, forgiving her for stealing his phone and placing a hand on her shoulder before stopping in his tracks.

In front of the whole store, to the disgust of all the customers, Mr Lockhart's conversation had gotten more... intimate and now he was making out with his mirror-self. His lips moved sloppily over the reflective surface. His hair became dishevelled and his breathing erratic as got more into his display of affection.

Hermione grabbed Ron's hand, not wanting to know if Mr Lockhart would start undressing himself in public. Ron brought up his phone and took a couple pictures. With a laugh, he said, "This is so going on Facebook," as Hermione dragged him hastily out of the store.