I am the fucking worst person in the world.

*dodges Melon Man suit from last chapter*

I GET IT!

.

.

.

*dodges cow*

. . . I'll just move on.

I DO NOT OWN THIS STUFF! TRUST ME! IF I DID I WOULD TOTALLY BRAG ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME, BUT I DON'T, SO THAT MEANS IT AIN'T MINE, BUSTERS! I'M SERIOUS RIGHT NOW! DON'T CROSS ME, YOU FOOLISH FOOLS WHO ARE FOOLISH!

Yeah. Please don't ask.

Okay! Let's go!

Tony/Iron Man's POV

I hate them all. I can't believe them. I hate my life.

Okay. So I'm part of the Avengers, which is epic, I guess. I'm a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist, which is also cool. And I guess that I'm a bit egotistical, too.

Still, I did nothing- NOTHING- to ask for this.

Those freaking lying assholes. The paint comes off with water? NO IT DOES NOT!

It's not like I could be using the wrong type of water, there's only one- oh. Oh.

Those evil bastards. . . Salt water, huh? Why the hell did they think I would use salt water on my suits?! It's bad for the metal, and the wiring. . . god damn it, it's just bad in general! Those idiots kids think they're so smart. . .

"JARVIS!" I called angrily.

"Yes, sir?" came JARVIS's automated British voice.

"Get me some salt water," I demanded.

"From the sea, sir? Or would you prefer to have salt water mixed?" JARVIS inquired.

I tugged at some strands of hair before responding with, "Better play it safe. Get it from the ocean, JARVIS."

"Very well, sir, but know that it will take about an hour or-"

"I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES AS LONG AS MY SUITS NO LONGER LOOK LIKE MELONS!" I roared.

"Of course, sir."

I sighed. "That was a mean trick those kids played, JARVIS. They knew how much I wanted to avoid them, so they got in my way. Then there was the plumbing mix-up, which was probably them, too. While I was taking care of that, Owl got into my suits." I scowled. "That girl is way too smart. It shouldn't be possible, JARVIS. They're like aliens or something! Heck, I bet they're probably as powerful as Thor at least, and he's a god!"

Suddenly, a thought struck me.

Gods.

"JARVIS!"

Ego the size of Mount Olympus.

"What is it, sir?"

"What do you know about mythology?"

"Anything that's on the Internet, sir."

"What mythology is 'Mount Olympus' from? Greek, right?"

"Yes, and Roman as well, sir."

I pondered this. "Greek. . . and Roman. . ." I smirked. "JARVIS, collect any and all relevant information you can find on the Greek and Roman gods."

"Define relevant, sir."

"Origins, appearances, powers, etc. Anything pertaining to topics such as those that seems trustworthy."

"You do realize that these so-called 'gods' are myths, sir."

I grinned. "Maybe so, but Thor was supposedly a myth, too. He's certainly real." I laughed. "Besides, why else would she say something like 'ego the size of Mount Olympus'? It's not a common metaphor, is it?"

"It isn't, sir. Still, it's just one comment. And Thor's an alien, sir. He's not really a god."

"So?" I shrugged. "He's still real, isn't he? If Rock of Ages is real, as are his fellow so-called 'Norse gods', why can't Greek and Roman gods be real as well?"

". . . You seem to have made plenty assumptions from one small comment, sir."

I sighed. "True, true. . . but that doesn't mean I'm wrong." I looked up, determined. "Look it up, JARVIS."

". . . Of course, sir." JARVIS paused for a moment before continuing. "Should I still get the sea water, sir?"

"Of course! I don't want to be known as Melon Man for the rest of my career!"

"Naturally, sir." I could almost hear his amusement. Being an AI, JARVIS didn't experience emotions the way humans did, but he did find many things amusing, even if he didn't show it.

I scowled. "If you laugh. . ." I growled threateningly.

"You'll do what, sir?"

". . . Never mind. Get to work!"

"Immediately, sir." There was a soft beep as JARVIS set to work on his tasks. "When do you want the information, sir?"

I ran a hand through my messy hair in stress-induced exhaustion. "When I'm not busy, all right, JARVIS?"

"Certainly, sir."

I heaved a great sigh, before glaring at the door of my room. Down in the elevator to the common room and there they'd be, sitting around, no doubt laughing at the hilarious prank they pulled. I narrowed my eyes. What were they saying about me, exactly? Hmm. . .

I shook my head angrily. No! I won't go down there! I am protesting that cruel and unusual treatment of my suits! I thought bitterly.

Still. . . I frowned before saying, "JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir?" JARVIS responded immediately.

"Bring up security footage from the common room, I said, flicking my hand to bring up the holographic screen that sat at the foot of my bed.

"Here you are, sir," JARVIS said as the video appeared, showing the group below.

"That was a pretty mean trick you pulled, you know," Natasha said sternly, but her eyes glittered with amusement.

A laugh echoed from underneath Owl's hood. "Yeah, I guess." She shrugged. "I do feel kind of bad, but what can I say? We're teenagers. We don't take well to being ignored."

Hurricane let out a snort. "That's an understatement, my friend."

The others laughed, and giggled at that.

Steve frowned. "Do you think Stark will get over it any time soon?"

Clint shrugged and smirked. "Doubtful. Getting an ego-bruising like that one has gotta be bad for his health."

As the others snickered, I growled in indignation. The nerve of that damn marksman!

"We probably shouldn't have done something like that," Precious said softly, with a hint of regret. I was taken aback at her tone. I thought all of these new heroes were proud of how they'd pissed me off!

Beast nodded. "Precious is right, you know. We didn't have to go that far."

I nodded, agreeing with the two newbies. I had just gained +10 respect for those two, aka +5 for each.

Owl sighed. "I know. I do feel kind of bad. . . but he was ignoring us, and we were bored, after all."

Bruce snorted. "That what you always do when you're bored?"

Charm shrugged elegantly. "More or less. It does happen a lot when we aren't catching criminals. It's not just Tony who's been a victim of our pranks."

Thor wasn't saying anything. He watched the scene from the corner out of narrowed eyes.

I smiled. So they do have some remorse. . . Then my smile morphed into a frown. But who else would they prank? Who else could they prank? And does Thor have doubts about them still? Is that why he isn't saying anything?

My focus was brought back to the screen as Lightning added, "We all get bored rather easily. It happens when you're ADHD."

Steve frowned. "ADHD? What's that?"

Bruce gave his head a soft knock. "That's right, you're new in this time. Most people didn't know a thing about ADHD in your time, huh? Well, it's called attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder. It causes people with it to have trouble paying attention and be hyperactive as well as very impulsive."

Steve put a hand to his chin. "That's. . . interesting. Huh." He turned to the recruits. "And you say that you all have it?"

Flame laughed. "Yep! Though some have it worse than others." He jerked a thumb at himself. "I have terrible ADHD." Then he laughed again, this one even heartier than the previous one. "But Hurricane? He's the worst out of all of us! His ADHD is awful!"

I couldn't see under any of their hoods, but I could sense the smiles of the teens. Hurricane let out a small chuckle. "I really do, don't I?" He sighed softly. "Dyslexia, too. It kind of sucks."

Owl nudged him softly. "Yeah, but I have that, too."

Skeleton muttered, "Me too," while Huntress gave an affirmative, "Yep!"

Flame nodded as Charm gave a small, noncommittal shrug.

Lightning put a hand to the back of his neck and murmured, "I don't think I'm dyslexic. . . Definitely ADHD, but not dyslexic."

Beast snickered. "I'm neither. I'm just impatient, not ADHD. And I'm a spelling bee champ!" he boasted in a fake tone. Then he slumped and said sadly, "All I got was lactose intolerance. . ."

Hurricane snorted. "Trust me, Beast Boy, it's not all it's cracked up to be."

Warrior nodded firmly and Precious corroborated both of their statements (verbal and non-verbal) by saying, "Hurricane's right. It's not fun."

Owl turned to Precious. "You're dyslexic?"

Precious nodded. "We didn't call it that back then, but yeah. I'm dyslexic."

Owl nodded, accepting the information without trouble.

Charm sighed. "We should apologize to Tony."

"Probably," Lightning said with a shrug.

Hurricane snorted. "Yeah, we should, but I still think it was the right thing to do. Stark's a good guy, but he's got an inflated sense of his own importance. Sure, he's important to the team, but he's not always supposed to be the center of attention."

I growled. The guy had just met me! How dare he assume that!

. . . Then I considered what he'd accused me of and grudgingly admitted to myself that he was correct. But still!

Just then, Thor seemed to break out of whatever had him stuck in the corner. He marched over to Lightning, pointed at him, and boomed, "I, Thor, Son of Odin, challenge thee to a duel!"

Lightning hesitated for a moment, but shrugged. "Sure, big guy. Why not?"

I grinned, letting out a small giggle of excitement that I would later order JARVIS to never inform anyone of. After all, I was excited to see one of the pranksters- even one who appeared remorseful- get his ass whupped.

This was gonna be good.

. . . I took far too long on this chapter, and I apologize for that.

*dodges Avengers' Tower*

I SAID I WAS SORRY, DAMMIT! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE!

*coughs* Anyway. RFF if you want more within the next six months. . . LOL XD Let's aim for sooner than six months, shall we! Perhaps a month of so from now? We shall see.

No word of the day today. I'm sorry. Just. . . no.

Love ya! (I do, I swear!) lulu