Okay, saying that Gold didn't regret a thing might be true, but saying that he didn't have a substantial amount of guilt would be the biggest lie in the history of lies. Maybe not the entire history of lies, but it was definitely worse than any other lie Gold had ever subjected his husband to-

Husband.

Oh God.

He tried not to let the guilt show, he really tried to just enjoy the few minutes after the kiss where Archie had showered them with congratulations and somehow the therapist had stashed a wedding present away somewhere in his suit. It was a simple cardboard box about the size of a basketball and when Archie had handed it to Ian to hold, Gold definitely heard bottles clinking together. Ian shot him a silly smirk, "He knows us too well."

"Or not well at all," Gold shrugged, pushing away the thought of exactly how many bottles of alcohol Archie's wedding present contained. He was almost just as curious as to what kinds of alcohol. He was not drinking bad scotch to celebrate his wedding day.

Gold tried to ignore the guilt that was roaring in the back of his head, much like the voice he was all too familiar with. That was possibly the only great thing about the Land Without Magic. The voices couldn't reach him. Not yet.

He tried to enjoy the usually silent Dove walking up to tower over all of them and wish them well.

"Thanks, Dove," Ian looked teary eyed and if the Englishman was going to cry- God damn it!

Gold briefly looked up to get the water in his eyes to disappear and if anyone saw they didn't mention it. They let him keep his dignity for a little while longer.

Ian hefted up the box of alcohol, making it clink dangerously and Gold winced at the sound.

Archie clapped his hands together, "Well, I don't think there's anything left to say really."

Gold swallowed and once again guilt flooded his head in waves. Gold had said he didn't want any kind of reception or party or anything of the sort, so now they were in the semi-awkward situation of just leaving and going their separate ways after sharing a rather intimate and romantic moment. One of the people involved still carried the camera to prove it!

"Nat doesn't want any kind of party, so we'd just like to thank both of you for doing this," Ian said, not looking the tiniest bit ashamed or annoyed.

Archie nodded, still smiling brightly, "Of course, you can decide what you do on your wedding day. Dove and I wouldn't want to get in the way."

Was Archie implying what Gold thought he was implying?

Because if so; where is your discretion, you div?

He could tell Ian was thinking the exact same thing, and but the Englishman didn't appear bothered, "We haven't really gotten anything planned, but now we're definitely going to spend the night figuring out what you bought us."

"Oh, a few bottles of this and that," Archie divulged.

"Not going to get drunk though. Just a few sips of everything," Ian said cheerfully.

"If you get jaked on our wedding day, I will never forget it," Gold warned.

Ian raised an eyebrow, "I'm sure you'll forgive me eventually."

"As long as you're sure," Gold didn't bother arguing. Ian was right and he knew it.

"I'll take my leave now then. Have a nice day," Archie said before descending down the stairs.

Dove handed Gold the camera that had previously dangled from his neck.

"Thank you, Dove," Gold said slowly and he meant it.

Dove nodded, "Of course, Mr. Gold. Mr. Rawlings."

Dove left the tower as well and a not entirely uncomfortable silence followed.

Ian sat the box of booze on the floor, "So how's your wedding day going so far?"

"Alright, I'd say. Yours?" Gold asked, stuffing the camera in his pocket.

"Perfect," Ian stepped close and kissed him on the mouth, this time with less urgency than before. Now it was more passion and love and everything Gold wasn't sure he could allow himself to receive at this point.

Ian was still cursed.

Their marriage was still a marriage built on lies.

Ian packed the car, which was parked just behind the library, and the ride home was quiet. The bottles in the backseat and the engine rumbling were the only sounds filling the car and it was lovely. This was what Gold wanted for the rest of the day; peace and quiet.

Ian walked around the car to open the door and Gold sighed inwardly, "You don't have to-"

"I want to," Ian interrupted, no doubt having prepared himself for the protest. Ian then grabbed the box of alcohol and followed Gold up the steps. He sat down the box by the doorway and looked at the key in Gold's hand, "Can I unlock the door?"

Gold frowned at the request, but saw no reason to deny Ian. He handed the key to his husband and stepped aside. There was the h-word again, and Gold was getting used to it. Damn it.

Ian unlocked the door and pushed it wide open, "Anyone around?"

"What do you mean? No, I don't- Ian!"

One second he was looking around, trying to figure out what in the world Ian was getting at, the next he was being lifted off the ground and held against Ian's chest. He tensed up but allowed Ian to take that one step sideways and effectively carry him across the threshold before settling for a glare.

Ian set him down and Gold leaned against the wall, "You surprised me."

Understatement.

"I couldn't resist," Ian winked, going back to the porch to retrieve Archie's wedding present.

"More jokes about me being the wife?" Gold asked, his eyes channeling his state of unimpressed.

"Come on, when's the next time either of us gets the chance to do something like that again? Hopefully never, you know?" Ian went for the kitchen and Gold followed. The box that Archie had bestowed upon them was literally stuffed full; scotch, whiskey, and two bottles of tequila. Ian looked delighted at the two bottles with the sombrero on top and Gold only rolled his eyes.

Ian noticed, "You're missing out, Nat."

"Of course, darling."

Again, with the terms of endearment that his mouth let slip out!

Ian opened the cupboard to retrieve two glasses but Gold interjected, "I'm not having anything."

"You're not going to leave me to drink alone. That's just sad," Ian argued, holding up one of the bottles of scotch for inspection.

Gold sighed, "I'm just saying, perhaps we should let Archie's wedding gift last more than half an hour before we start drinking it."

Ian wrinkled his nose and set the bottle back down, "Eh, maybe you're right. Want to go out for lunch?"

"Granny's?"

"Where else? Come on, it'll be nice."

"Two seconds ago, you were all for drinking scotch-"

"A man can change his mind, can't he?" Ian just kept on smiling and it was honestly beginning to become unbearable. Gold hated the fact that he was going to be wiping that smirk off Ian's face sometime in the near future. He hated that at some point soon, he was going to possibly ruin his husband's life. At some point, they were both going to go their separate ways, hopefully on peaceful terms, but life had taught Gold to be skeptic.

Normally, Gold could just put the thoughts away and tell himself he should worry another day, but right now the curse was closer to breaking than ever. He couldn't ignore it now and it wasn't too much pressure, but there just wasn't enough room to worry right now. Right now he needed to concentrate on something but he had difficulty figuring out what. Should he worry on the curse, or his cursed husband? The curse could take care of itself, the Savior just needed to get her act together, sure, but Ian wasn't exactly going anywhere sometime soon, right?

They'd just gotten married, how on Earth could Ian not be important to him by now?

There was no use in lying to himself, of course Ian was important.

Of course Ian was probably the most important person in Gold's life right after Bae. It wasn't like there was a lot of competition, and between son and cursed husband, son definitely came first and cursed husband second.

There might not even be anything to worry about if Ian just drove off after the curse was broken.

That might actually be the best solution to the whole thing-

"Nat?"

Ah, he'd spaced out again.

"Sorry, what?"

"Are you okay?"

And there it was again; the concern Ian had for Gold's wellbeing.

It was sickening.

Gold swallowed, "I'm fine, yeah."

"You looked like you were doing some serious thinking," Ian continued.

"It's not important."

"Uh huh."

"Don't give me that look."

"Then don't give me that bullshit."

Oh, okay, maybe Ian knew him better than he would like.

"Something wrong?" Ian's eyes went all soft and Gold just blurted out the first thing that could somewhat summarize exactly what he'd been internally debating about.

"I love you."

And he prayed Ian understood how heavy those words were, how much he meant it, and how difficult it had been to even utter them out loud. His body started to betray him again; he could feel the stinging in his eye as he said it and he hated the loss of control. Why did Ian make him feel like this? Why did Ian simultaneously make everything wonderful and absolutely horrific at the same time?

Being with Ian was wonderful and dangerous at the same time.

Wonderful because what he felt towards Ian was the closest thing he'd ever been to love, after the kiss he and Belle had shared those many years ago. Dangerous because that feeling could never be destroyed, but instead make him wish like he'd never opened his heart again to anyone.

Ian had wrapped his arms around him now, and was holding him close while he tried to breathe.

"I love you too," Ian said, his warm body an anchor for Gold to latch onto.

"I know," Gold managed, and that was maybe the worst part.

He knew Ian loved Nathaniel Gold, but who could ever love Rumpelstiltskin?