Weiss sipped nonchalantly from her tea and glanced at Ruby out of the corner of her eye. The younger woman was shifting in her seat as she tried to find a good position to sit in that caused the least amount of pain to her rear end. A childish pout was set heavily on her lips as she stared at her hot chocolate pitifully.

A small twinge of guilt fluttered in the heiress' stomach, but she quickly tucked it away to be dealt with later. She had made good in her threat to shove her Myrtenaster in an unhygienic place, but she supposed that she had been a little harsh. She would have to make it up to Ruby later.

Where were those handcuffs Ruby loved so much again? Maybe those would make a play in the bedroom tonight if this went well. She did owe her something after humiliating her in front of her uncle and role model after all.

She glanced at Qrow sitting on the other side of the circular table, completing their triangular seating arrangement. His pale face was tinted with a light shade of pink as he focused on tinkering with the mechanics of his fake hand so he could properly reattach it to the metallic plate on the stump of his wrist. Granted, she couldn't blame him for suddenly acting so bashful. She supposed any man would be a little flushed after seeing their niece get sodomized by a fine bladed sword.

The silence was definitely appreciated, though. She could tell that Qrow was, more than likely, just a taller, buffer, male version of Ruby. As soon as the two were able to get over their discomforts, they were bound to go off on one of the many tangents Ruby was famous for: weapons and fighting monsters. It was almost sad how predictable it was.

"Hello, sorry for the wait," the waiter apologized as he made his way to the table. A various array of deserts littered the tray balancing on the palm of his hand. "I have the chocolate chip cookie filled, red velvet cake with vanilla frosting here."

Ruby's rear seemed to have made a miraculous recovery from the way she bounced in her seat. "Here! That's mine!" Her eyes twinkled like silver stars as she watched the giant, monstrosity of diabetes on a plate get set down in front of her.

Weiss could literally feel the extra pounds forming on her hips, thighs, and butt just looking at the monstrosity of a desert. The cake alone had frosting as thick as the width of her thumb, add that to the actual red, spongy portion that was the cake itself and the baked in chocolate chip cookie on the bottom, and she had something that was as tall as both of her hands pressed together were wide. She felt her stomach gurgle in protest and tore her eyes away from the sugary demon taking up most of her girlfriend's plate.

"And I have a chocolate liqueur soufflé here," the waiter continued.

Weiss set her tea down and raised her hand gracefully. "That's mine. Thank you."

A small, cylindrical bowl was placed in front of her and she felt her mouth water as the scent of premium chocolate wafted to her nose. As much as she hated to admit it, she did love chocolate. She just knew how to control her guilty pleasure more than Ruby.

She glanced over at her girlfriend and sighed heavily. Half of the monstrous cake had vanished into thin air in the time it had taken for the waiter to set down the soufflé. Red, cake and cookie crumbs were plastered on the sides of Ruby's mouth, and she had somehow managed to get frosting on the bridge of her nose. It was times like this that she wondered why she loved the hyperactive huntress so much.

Ruby suddenly noticed her girlfriend's staring eyes and beamed at her with child-like innocence. Weiss felt her heart do an instant backflip as butterflies fluttered in her belly. Oh, yeah, that was one reason why.

"Ruby, you've got a little something…everywhere," she sighed in what was meant to sound exasperated.

"Oop! Sorry!" Ruby wiped her mouth off on the back of her hand and wiped the crumbs onto her jeans before beaming at Weiss again. "Did I get it?"

Weiss couldn't stop the small smile tugging at the corners of her lips if her life depended on it. It was just too cute. "Most of it, but you missed the spot on your nose, you dolt."

Ruby focused on seeing the smudge on her nose, but only succeeded in going cross eyed. A small, indignant snort escaped Weiss' nose as she watched the spectacle. Her girlfriend officially looked like a puppy trying to see a treat that was placed on the bridge of its muzzle. Granted, that little analogy wasn't too terribly far off.

"Here, I got it," Weiss sighed with feigned exhaustion. She pulled a napkin out of the dispenser on the table and wiped the bit of frosting from her girlfriend's nose. "There."

Ruby's grin somehow managed to spread even wider. "Thanks, Weiss!" She took another, gigantic bite of her cookie-cake and hummed in pleasure.

A soft cough sounded from the only male at the table, causing Weiss and Ruby to turn their attention to Qrow. His mechanical hand was back on his wrist and the blush on his cheeks had retreated to his ears. He glanced at the two girls, opened his mouth to say something, and ended up taking a large gulp of his black coffee before speaking.

"W-Well," his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, "now that we have that little…umm…skirmish out of the way. Why don't we talk a little bit?"

He turned his attention to Weiss and took a huge bite out of his walnut encrusted brownie in an attempt to not look the young huntress in the eye. The blush that was slowly creeping into his cheeks from his ears showed that he was still having some trouble believing that the Schnee heiress just sodomized his niece right in front of him. Either that or he was surprised at just how surprisingly…accurate…and easy…her penetration had been.

"So, Miss Schnee, tell me." Another gulp of his coffee, and Qrow appeared to have calmed himself just enough to actually look Weiss square in the face. "Besides ramming various, phallic objects into my niece's orifices, what…uhm…are some of your hobbies? Anything you like to do…besides my niece…outside of being a huntress?"

This time it was Weiss' turn to blush. She quickly took a bite out of her soufflé and chased it with a sip of tea. Even the dark, delectable chocolate coating her tongue couldn't ease the awkwardness that hung in the air.

"Well, Mr. Rose, you don't have to call me "Miss Schnee". Weiss will do just fine," she explained in as nice a tone as she could muster. "And, I don't know where you got the silly idea that I'm s-sexually active with your niece. We've only been an official couple for four months. That's hardly enough time for someone to be so comfortable with another person to be physically intimate."

"Call it a hunch," Qrow chuckled as he polished off the last of his brownie. "The two of you have about five years of friendship built up prior to the relationship. I would think that would be enough of a stipulation to skip a few steps of courtship and…move to the bedroom."

The blush had completed its conquest of Qrow's face and he dragged his gloved hand across the back of his neck. "And, also, from personal experience, no one can shove anything into someone's orifice that easily unless they have had previous practice. You…uh…handled that very well."

Weiss' eyes tripled in size and her head fell flat against the table in humiliation. "Oh, dear, God."

"Now, I'm not saying that isn't a good thing!" Qrow tried to save himself. "Granted, I don't really need to know what you and Ruby do in the bedroom. That's-That's totally not something I need to know. Why should I care if you're the giver or taker, or what say you? Viva la…w-whatever it is you call it."

"Oh, God!" Weiss whined into the table and covered her head with her hands. This was one of the last people on the face of the planet she wanted to be having this conversation with! Why didn't Ruby say something and get her out of this misery?

"Uncle Qrow, be nice to Weiss!" Ruby suddenly exclaimed.

Weiss felt a rush of relief at the sound of her girlfriend's voice. "Speak of the Devil, and the Devil shall come in to save the day. Thank you, Ruby."

"Besides, she's usually the one asking me to wear the strap-on," Ruby huffed matter-of-factly.

"Goodbye, Ruby."

Weiss grabbed what was left of the chocolate chip cookie, red velvet cake with one hand while grabbing a fistful of Ruby's hair with the other, and stuffed the pastry into her girlfriend's open mouth forcefully. "Shut up, you dolt! He does not need to know that!"

"Mmmfg! Wffg, shhhtdt schhhhffffng ffffdt rrfft brrrrrgdt!"

Ruby Languages File: Food Filled Mouth translation. "Fuck! Weiss, stop stuffing my cake in my face!"

"Mmmmm ssssrrrrrrrrrrryyy!"

Translation: "I'm sorry!"

Qrow blinked as the blush on his face deepened to the color of the underlining of his cape, and slowly slid down into his seat. One of the waiters passed by carrying a tray of glasses filled with water. He immediately swiped one of the condensation drenched cups and splashed the cool liquid on his face.

"So much information I did not need to know," he deadpanned as he lifted his shirt to wipe the excess water from his face. "I swear. This is worse than when I caught Summer and Yang's mom having sex in the backseat of my car our freshman year at Beacon."

Weiss and Ruby never heard Qrow's declaration. They were too caught up in their lover's quarrel. Weiss had her hand plastered over her girlfriend's mouth as the last of the cake was forced down her throat, and Ruby had her crafty fingertips pressed firmly into the heiress' most sensitive tickle spot on her side.

This went on for about five minutes before Qrow finally intervened. "Alright, you two, that's enough." He stood from his chair, walked over to the two quarreling lovers, and picked them up effortlessly: Ruby in his right hand and Weiss in his left. "People are beginning to stare."

All the color drained from Weiss' face as she glanced around the street. People were staring at them. How humiliating?

Qrow set the two girls down in their chairs and returned to his seat with a sigh. "Sooooo, how about that weather?"

"It's absolutely gorgeous," Weiss responded dully as she tried to cover her embarrassment with her hand. For the love of dust, she was a Schnee! How could she have acted so childish in public like that? God, she was a disgrace to the Schnee company name!

"Yeah, yeah, weather, gorgeous, blah, blah, blah," Ruby huffed as her bottom lip set in a pout. "I didn't need you to intervene, Uncle Qrow. I had Weiss on the ropes."

"Whatever you say, Rubes," Qrow chuckled. "But I was beginning to feel left out. I came here to see my niece and her girlfriend, and here I get completely ignored. What gives?"

Weiss was barely paying attention to the conversation at this point. Her mind was focused on what her father would do to her if this little spat ever got back to him, or, what's worse, if the conversation that started the little quarrel got back to him. Oh, she was as good as dead if he found out.

"Earth to Weiss!" Ruby's voice shattered through her thoughts like a bullet through a Grimm squirrel.

Weiss snapped out of her little world and focused on the two other people sitting at the table. "What? Sorry, I wasn't listening."

"I said: "I heard you enjoy singing"." Qrow repeated with a warm smile on his lips. "I'm actually a bit of a vocalist myself."

Weiss blinked in disbelief. "No offense, Qrow. But after hearing Ruby sing in the shower during our time at Beacon, I have a difficult time believing that anyone in the Rose-Xiao Long family can carry a tune."

Qrow's eyebrow quirked slightly as a mischievous grin spread across his lips. "That's because Ruby gets her singing abilities from her mother. Summer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. I don't care if we were twins. When it came to singing," he jerked his thumbs into his chest, "I was the best."

"I'd like to see that," Weiss scoffed.

"Care to make a little wager?" Qrow inquired.

As much as Weiss hated gambling, there was something about the situation that intrigued her. She placed her elbows on the table and laced her fingers together in front of her mouth. "What kind of a wager?"

"It's quite simple, my dear," Qrow stated confidently as he leaned back in his chair and raised his hands. "You name a song, any song, and I'll sing it right here; right now. When I'm done, I'll name a song for you to sing. Whoever sings the best is the winner."

Weiss cocked an eyebrow. "And, how will we know who wins? And, what exactly does the victor get?"

"Hmmm," Qrow stroked his stubble in thought, "let's have the people on the street judge. Whoever gets the most people to stop or applaud is the victor." He placed his arm down on the table. "And I wager silence."

"Silence?"

"I won't tell Tai what happened here today if you win," Qrow explained slyly. "None of this will get back to him. I know I promised him that I would give him a full report, but I've really come to like you, Ice Queen. I wouldn't want any of the…risqué statements that have been said here to get back to him. He is very protective of his little girls."

The world crumbled around Weiss as she glared at the trickster smirking at her confidently. "That no good, dirty, rotten Neanderthal!" she thought angrily. "He's using the intel he gathered here against me!"

A slight smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. "Well, played, worthy adversary. Very well, let us see just who the better singer is."

"Very well," she agreed, placing her hands on the table. "If I win, you won't relay any of the more…private…matters that happened to make their way into conversation back to Ruby's father. However, I cannot say that I know you well enough yet to offer you something you may like. What would you like if you happen to pull a miracle and win?"

"Oh, ho ho! Someone's getting cocky," Qrow chuckled. He leaned back in his chair and cracked his back. "Let's just say that I will tell you what I would like after I win."

Weiss felt her eye twitch irritably. "Deal. Are you ready to sing your song, oh boasting crow?"

"As I will ever be, Ice Queen," Qrow replied.

Weiss scowled at the man in front of her. Ice Queen? Why did everyone call her that? She wasn't that cold.

"Hmmm, what should I make him sing," she contemplated silently. "He probably used to sing a bunch of popular songs from when he was in school. I highly doubt he knows anything sophisticated-"

A devilish smirk danced across her lips as the perfect song came to mind. She scoffed at the man smirking in front of her and crossed her legs underneath the table. "I would like you to sing "Seben Crudele" by Antonio Caldara."

The look of shock on Qrow's face caused a spark of pride to flare in Weiss' chest. She knew he wouldn't be expecting that one. As much as Ruby talked about her famed uncle, she could only assume that his music background was limited. She highly doubted that he even knew how to sing in Italian.

Checkmate.

However, her confidence wavered slightly as Qrow stood from his seat and pulled a mask out from behind his cloak. "It's been a while since I've had to sing Italian," he admitted sheepishly. "Just let me get into character."

"Wait, what?" Weiss and Ruby asked in unison.

Qrow slipped the half mask over his eyes. It was a horrifying thing. Black feathers stuck out from the sides as a long, sharp beak stuck out from where his nose would have been, but at least his mouth was left uncovered so Weiss could tell that it was him singing instead of a recording. To be perfectly honest, he looked like a human Nevermore, but it was a safe bet to say that it was supposed to be a crow.

"Alright, here we go," Qrow said, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. He brought his hand up and began conducting the time signature of the song. After humming a few notes to get his voice warmed up, he began singing.

Weiss could hardly believe her ears. This weapons junky that Ruby had always pegged her uncle to be had one of the most amazing voices she had ever heard! Such a deep, velvety baritone pitch was so difficult to come by! Everything he did was flawless! The timing, the pitch, and the emotion he was conveying as he enunciated each word effortlessly; it was all so beautiful!

She leaned over and whispered into Ruby's ear. "You never told me your uncle could sing."

"I had no idea he could," Ruby breathed in awe.

The gorgeous sound coming from Qrow's lips slowly faded as the song ended and he removed his mask. Applause from the group of people that had surrounded them filled the air. Weiss glanced around at the sudden crowd and felt her jaw drop. When had all these people gotten here?

A modest smile spread across Qrow's lips as he waved to the crowd of people. However, that smile was quickly replaced with a smirk as he pointed at Weiss confidently. "I believe it is your turn, dear. Can you sing a little "Si Mes Vers Avaient Des Ailes" by Reynaldo Hahn for us?"

"Can I?" Weiss scoffed.

Ruby's eyebrows furrowed as she turned to her girlfriend. "Can you-"

"Of course I can!" Weiss snapped. She quickly stood from her seat, hummed a few notes to get her pitch, but was interrupted just as she was about to sing.

"Sing to Ruby, if you would be so kind," Qrow requested warmly.

"What?" Weiss could feel the blush beginning to form in her cheeks.

"You heard me," Qrow smirked. "Sing the song to Ruby. A good vocalist should be able to sing to any audience; especially to her beloved."

If Weiss' jaw could drop any lower, it would be scraping against the cement. That sly, old crow had planned this from the beginning! There was never any real bet! He just wanted to see her sing a mushy, gushy love song to his niece and embarrass the life out of her!

A soft smile coveted her lips and she felt her shoulders relax. "Well played, you sly, old trickster," she complimented mentally. "Well played."

She turned her attention to a very confused, yet excited Ruby and felt her blush intensify. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could feel her hands break out in a cold sweat. Dammit, of all the times to suddenly get a severe case of the nerves, why did it have to be now?

"Here goes everything."

She took a deep breath, and began to sing.

People from all the way down the street and into the next district could hear the angelic voice that carried from Weiss' lips as she sang. Soon the crowd that had formed when Qrow had sung had nearly tripled in size, but oddly enough she didn't care about them. She didn't even care about how the man she was even competing with was smirking at her with a knowing grin.

No. The one bystander that had really caught her attention was Ruby. She must have sung in front of her hyperactive girlfriend a million times, but this was the first time she had actually watched her reaction.

Sparkling, silver eyes were staring up at her in complete awe as she sang. She could see the soft, pink blush color Ruby's cheeks as she watched and listened with more focus than she had ever seen the younger girl have for anything other than weapons or fighting Grimm. Just knowing that she had her girlfriend's undivided attention like that caused Weiss' heart to flutter.

She wished the song would never end. She just wanted to keep singing for as long as her lungs and vocal cords could muster. Unfortunately, it was not a particularly long piece, and soon her voice was trailing off as it came to an end.

The crowd around them roared with applause, but Weiss was more focused on Ruby. The dark haired girl sprang from her seat and threw her arms around her neck; peppering the heiress' cheek with kisses. It wasn't long before those same acts of affection were returned with earnest right in the middle of the vast sea of onlookers who cheered even louder.

Qrow blushed and blinked awkwardly as he watched his niece and her girlfriend all but make-out in public. He quickly looked away and scratched the back of his head. "Well, I better get used to seeing this I suppose."

A blaring jingle filled the air and Ruby quickly pulled her scroll out of the pocket of her jeans. "Hold on a sec! I have to get this. It's Yang."

Weiss felt the air around her darken as she sighed irritably. Of course Yang would find some way to ruin her and Ruby's moment without even being around. She swore that busty woman had a sixth sense for finding inopportune moments to intervene.

Ruby turned on the speaker and placed the device on the table. "Hi, Yang! What's up?"

"Ruby, you are not going to believe this!" Yang's excited voice resonated out of the scroll. "Blake's dad actually knows how to brawl! I just spent the past hour fighting him!"

"Shouldn't you be a little nicer to the father of the girl you're dating, you brute?" Weiss deadpanned.

"Is that Weiss?" Yang asked in confusion. "I thought you were meeting with dad today, Ruby."

"Tai couldn't make it, so I filled his place," Qrow announced into the speaker.

"Is that Uncle Qrow?" Yang squealed. "Hel-lo!"

"Hey, Goldilocks, how's it hanging?" Qrow laughed.

"Oh, you know, just Yang-ing around. OUCH! Okay! Okay ! No more puns!"

Weiss cocked an eyebrow. "Yang, are you still with Blake and her family?"

"She is," Blake's voice replied. "My mom is in the kitchen patching up my dad while I clean Yang up. They decided to go a little gung-ho in their fight. I thought you had a meeting today, Weiss. What happened?"

"It turns out that the man I was supposed to meet today had a more important meeting to go to," Weiss huffed irritably. "I swear. I finally get to meet with the leader of the new Faunus activist group, and he cancels because he hasn't seen his daughter in a few years. He really should have planned that out better."

An eerie silence filled the air.

"You said you were meeting with the leader of the new Faunus activist group?" Blake asked warily.

Weiss' eyebrow only raised its arc. "Yes…why? Blake, are you hiding something from me?"

Yang's explosive laughter echoed through the speaker. "Oh, my, God! Are you serious? Oh, this is priceless!"

"Yang, shut up!" Blake demanded.

"Blake," Weiss said firmly as she placed her hands on the table, "what are you hiding?"

Silence.

"Well," there was a slight waver in Blake's voice.

"You had a meeting with her dad and he cancelled because we came to visit!" Yang howled with laughter. "Ouch! My stomach! Oh, God! It hurts to laugh!"

"It's going to hurt for you to sit for the next three weeks when I see you later, you Neanderthal!" Weiss shrieked. "It's going to be impossible for you to even undergo decent foreplay for a month when I'm done with you! Do you have any idea how important this meeting was for me?"

"Yang, my parents are coming back!" Blake's voice whispered hurriedly.

"Sorry, Weiss, you'll have to scold me later," Yang rushed. "Have fun with Uncle Qrow and Ruby! Talk to you guys later! Bye!"

The line went dead and Weiss slowly lowered herself into her chair. She was absolutely seething. Thanks to Yang, technically it was Blake's fault but she wasn't about to pin this whole ordeal on her best friend besides Ruby, she had been stuck going to this highly embarrassing lunch date with Ruby and her uncle.

"Uh…" Qrow's voice trailed off.

"Weiss," Ruby's insecure voice filled the air.

"What is it, Ruby? Can't you see I'm plotting your sister's eminent demise?"

"I think you should be more worried about crowd control," Ruby explained awkwardly.

"What?" Weiss whipped her head around. Sure enough, there was a large crowd of people surrounding them. Some of which had video cameras.

It took exactly thirty seconds, with the help of Ruby's semblance and Qrow's skills, for Weiss to retrieve all of the video evidence of her meltdown, get in her car, thank Qrow for lunch and say how it was a pleasure to meet him, buckle Ruby into the passenger seat, and tear out of downtown Vale like a horde of Grimm were on her tail. As soon as she pulled into the driveway of her family sized house, she rushed inside and began plotting her revenge as she petted an overly excited Zwei bouncing around her feet. That big busted brute was going to pay for her humiliation.