Summary: Death is only the beginning. The ones we love never really leave us. And sometimes we have to die before we can really live.

AN: Please do not hate me for the delay. Life got in the way. So I am already starting to on the chapter and hopefully have out in the next couple days. Can anyone tell me what the hell the writers are thinking? Are they trying to kill us or something? Or do they just want to create unnecessary dram? Because I really have no idea. And my poor little heart can't take much more of this. Anyway sorry about that little rant. Here is the next chapter again sorry for the delay. Again swearing be warned. HUGE shout out to the ones who haven't stopped reviewing I love you guys just in case you didn't know.

Disclaimer: Olicity=Endgame! I keep telling myself that hoping the writers will listen. So let's all think it. You with me guys?

A knock on the door wakes him from his slumber. He looks down and still sees her asleep on the couch. She cried herself to sleep and apparently is not waking up any time soon. It broke his heart to see her so distraught a few hours ago. He was so sure that it wouldn't be Felicity when they brought her back, but he couldn't have been more wrong. It is her and yes she might be more angry and more rough around the edges now but the core is still her. He was hired to protect Oliver Queen but now his only job was protecting Felicity. Protect her from the world, the others and more importantly herself. She was just like Oliver in that regard; they were their own worst enemies. Another knock sounds and he looks down at her and she stirs a little bit just enough to snuggle into his couch. So he slowly makes his way towards the door preparing for whoever shows up. She is hurting and none of them seem to have gotten that message. So he will deliver if he has to. And he has got no problem being rough with them or hurting them. So when he opens the door he is very prepared to tell them off.

"Is she safe?" That question is whispered to him and he has to be honest he was not expecting that question.

"Yeah. She is safe. She is sleeping on my couch right now." He can't help but answer him. He may be pissed at the guy, but he was brother in arms. He won't tell him that she cried herself to sleep. He probably already knows that. He takes a few minutes and studies the man in front of him. He looks completely haggard and disheveled. The bruises are already starting to form around his neck. And Oliver might not know this or want to accept it but the thing between him and Felicity has changed completely. And it might never get to the way it once was. It just might be damaged beyond repair. And that hurts him. She was the one he saw for Oliver. And now it's broken, smashed into a million pieces scattered across town and buried in their souls. Felicity has changed and Oliver has to accept that. Even after she is cured the dynamic between them has gone off course to badly for them to ever get back on track. They lost each other on the edge of sword.

"I really screwed up didn't I?" He asks. He doesn't even try to peer into the door. To afraid of what he might see John thinks.

"You know you did Oliver. But I was wrong too. This is Felicity, she might be a little more rough around the edges but it's still her. But she is angry Oliver and it's focused all on you. She trusted you to let her go and you didn't. You broke that trust." He doesn't say it to be mean; he says it because Oliver needs to hear it.

"Listen I get it man. You love her. Whether you wanted to admit it or not you love her. And the thought of being without her hurt more than you thought it could. More than you could stand. But she loved you enough to believe that you would move on and grow. She is angry and hurt and so very confused. It would probably be best for everyone if you stayed away from her. Let her get her head around what has happened to her." He thinks Oliver is going to argue and it looks like he just might but then he closes his mouth and slowly nods his head. He hurts for Oliver he does. Because as much as Felicity is hurting Oliver is hurting just as much. Maybe not in the same way but he is still hurting. And it still breaks John. He is stuck in the middle of probably the two most important people in his life.

"Look I know and you know that Felicity would never deliberately hurt you or anyone for that matter. She is too good for that, even now. And I know you are not afraid of her even with what happened back at the foundry. But you know it's not always the physical pain that is the worst. It's the emotional. And right now she is very, very emotional. Just give her some time and space and maybe just maybe we can get you two back to a good place. So tell the others to stay away too and when she is ready she will find you guys. But Oliver you need to know this and you have to really understand what I am about to say." He waits for the nod of the head and gets right after Oliver takes a deep breath preparing himself for the battle that is about to go down.

"Even after we cure her, she is never going to be the same. What we all had with her is gone. We have to accept that. Now we just need to focus on the new relationships and dynamic we are going to have to build. The Felicity we all know is gone and nothing can change that. We just have to accept that hard truth and move on. You also need to know that you guys might not ever be together like ever. That trust and faith you all had is gone. You have to come to terms with that on your own Oliver. I might be wrong maybe you guys can get together and be happy and maybe you won't. But you need to deal with that all on your own. I am so sorry for you Oliver, I really am." And he is. Oliver deserves to be happy and it was taken from him. Someone he loved dearly was ripped right out of his arms and someone else was put in their place. Felicity may never come back from this but also maybe Oliver won't either. How much more is he supposed to take, how much more is he suppose to suffer? He doesn't think those questions will ever be answered and maybe that is the price of being a hero.

Oliver finally looks into the apartment and to her and it's like he is trying imprint every detail into his memory as if he will never see her again. He takes a deep breath, nods his head one more time and turns around and walks down the hallway. John steps out into the hallway and watches him go. Something has shifted and he's not sure what it is or if he likes it but it has none the less. Oliver stops right before the stairs and turns only his head over his shoulder as if turning his whole body would mean he would run to her and never leave her side, screw the consequences. But thankfully it's only his head.

"Take care of her John." And just like that he is gone. Team Arrow has changed and it's never going back. John can only nod his head in return and turns back around and heads into his apartment. Neither him nor Oliver were aware that the sleeping girl on the couch was not in fact sleeping. Nor did they notice the fresh tears track down her face.

She doesn't stir when she hears the knock. She doesn't want to have to face reality. She wants to hold on to this peacefulness for as long as she can. But the knock happens again and she can tell John is checking to see if she is asleep and she lets him continue to think that. She is so tired so who knows she might go back to sleep. She cried so much a few hours ago. She doesn't think she has any tears left in her to cry. She hurt Oliver. Those words are never something she would ever usher. But this mirakuru has changed her so much. She is so angry and she doesn't know how to control it. And that scares her so much. She has never felt this type of rage before. And being around her friends just sets her off. But not being around them cuts into her soul. She misses them. She literally aches for Oliver and at the same time wants to rip his head off. So she will stay away if only to protect them. Luckily with John all she feels is peace and that she can vent and he won't look at her any differently. But shouldn't he? She has changed after all. She is not the same woman she was before. She is something darker and monstrous. Not to mention the fact that when she can't control her emotions and anything electrical starts going haywire. Which is something new because Roy never had that problem but its there for her and it makes her just a little bit worried. But that is neither here or there. The point is she has a lot on her mind and she wants to go back to sleep.

"Is she safe?" Oliver's voice breaks through her thoughts and his voice breaks her heart. He knows now what she knew when she first woke up that what they had has been destroyed. They can never be. Not that she ever thought they could, but it can never happen now. Not with what she is and what he has done. He took everything that was good about her and twisted it into something dark something that should not be walking amongst everyone. She gets that he loves her. She really does. And he has suffered too much, but this was not his choice. She knew what she was doing when she jumped in front of that sword. She was saving them all. Because they all needed to be saved. Everyone who was up there. And he took that from her, took her death from her. And it hurts, it hurts so much. For just a few minutes she was in paradise and there was no pain and then she was being ripped from there and it hurt, it hurt so much. She has never felt pain like that before.

"Yeah. She is safe. She is sleeping on my couch right now." John's words maker her smile just a bit. Because no matter what, she is safe with him. He would never judge her. It warms her heart just a little bit to hear that the two most important people in her life care enough to make sure she is safe even with what she has done and what she has become. She really hopes that John doesn't tell Oliver that she has been crying. She may be mad at him but she doesn't want to hurt him. Even though she already has. She refuses to look at him; she knows the bruises have got to be showing by now. She hurt him. She can't seem to stop thinking that. She really should though or things are going to start to happen again and she doesn't want to face them right now.

"I really screwed up didn't I?" He says. She takes a quick glance up at him and notices that he is not looking in. He is too disgusted by her and what she has done to him or is he too upset with himself for what he did to her? She is not sure and that's what bothers her so much she can't read him. And she use to be able to read him so well. And now she can't. Everything has changed and it eats her up inside. Because no matter what it can never be fixed. No matter how hard they try it will never be fixed. Everything turns to dust eventually and it appears they are no exception to this rule. A silent tear makes its way down her cheek.

"You know you did Oliver. But I was wrong too. This is Felicity, she might be a little more rough around the edges but it's still her. But she is angry Oliver and it's focused all on you. She trusted you to let her go and you didn't. You broke that trust." It hurts her to hear those words so she can only imagine how Oliver feels. An odd feeling settles in her stomach at realizing John thought she was going to be some evil half brained minion of Slade's. Angry, yes she is, half brained not in this lifetime.

"Listen I get it man. You love her. Whether you wanted to admit it or not you love her. And the thought of being without her hurt more than you thought it could. More than you could stand. But she loved you enough to believe that you would move on and grow. She is angry and hurt and so very confused. It would probably be best for everyone if you stayed away from her. Let her get her head around what has happened to her." The words keep coming out of his mouth and each one is a stab in the heart. She knew how she felt about Oliver but for Dig to come out and say that Oliver feels the same is very disturbing and ecstatic all at once. But John is right she is angry and it is all focused on Oliver. Which if she really wants to admit is weird she should be angry at Slade not Oliver. But she isn't. She does hate Slade and wishes horrible things on him because if it wasn't for him then none of this would have happened. So why is she so angry at Oliver?

"Look I know and you know that Felicity would never deliberately hurt you or anyone for that matter. She is too good for that, even now. And I know you are not afraid of her even with what happened back at the foundry. But you know it's not always the physical pain that is the worst. It's the emotional. And right now she is very, very emotional. Just give her some time and space and maybe just maybe we can get you two back to a good place. So tell the others to stay away too and when she is ready she will find you guys. But Oliver you need to know this and you have to really understand what I am about to say." He breaks through her thoughts and she is not sure she wants to hear what he has to say.

"Even after we cure her, she is never going to be the same. What we all had with her is gone. We have to accept that. Now we just need to focus on the new relationships and dynamic we are going to have to build. The Felicity we all know is gone and nothing can change that. We just have to accept that hard truth and move on. You also need to know that you guys might not ever be together, like ever. That trust and faith you all had is gone. You have to come to terms with that on your own Oliver. I might be wrong maybe you guys can get together and be happy and maybe you won't. But you need to deal with that all on your own. I am so sorry for you Oliver, I really am." And Felicity closes her eyes tightly because she knows John is sorry him for all of them. And he is right they will never be the same. And her heart twists painfully at that knowledge. Where do they go from here or from when she is cured? Will she even be cured? Or will she forever remain something dark and twisted and full of hate? If that's the case she will end it right here right now. She dare not open her eyes because she can feel him looking at her. They can never be. And more than anything that is what she has always wanted. And he deserves to be happy and it's gone, it's all gone. And just like that she hears him walk away and John follows. He doesn't fight for her he just gives in. Isn't that what she wanted, what she demanded back at the foundry?

"Take care of her John." And just like that he is gone. And the tears fall from her eyes and she can't and won't stop them. It's over Team Arrow is over. Her and him are over before they even had a chance to get started. Everything is in ruins. It's all crumbled to pieces and the lights go out and she cries in the night.

Poor Oliver and Felicity. Don't they just break your heart? They do mine. Dig is as always the voice of reason. Someone give him a medal. Don't forget leave me a review. And yes all mistakes are still mine. I am doing this without a beta. Can't wait to hear from you guys. I want to hear all your thoughts on the story and on Wednesday's episode. The last two episodes because wow all that angst. It hurts, it hurts my soul.