Emily's POV

It's been almost a month since Mona died. Emily and her friends are still hurt by that incident, they're wondering whether it really is somehow their fault like A said, or like Alison said... Emily doesn't know what to think. She seemed pretty convinced to her friends that Alison really was A, but the truth is, she's not really believing it. She wants to believe it, because things would be so much easier to blame everything on Ali, because she would finally start hating the blonde, because maybe, just maybe she'll get sick of being hurt by the blonde this time and just give up on her for real. But she can't. She can't believe that Alison is A, because she remembers how the blonde was looking at her the night when they kissed. She remembers the feeling of Alison's lips against hers. She remembers Alison's gentle touch everywhere on her body, the way she seemed hesitant, like she didn't want to push the brunette into doing anything she didn't want to do and that was new to Emily. Alison never seemed so nervous around Emily like she did that night and that made the swimmer's heart race.

Emily wishes she could forget that she knew Alison that way. She wishes she could only think about the fact that she knows Paige, her girlfriend, that way. But she can't, even though Alison might be A, might be the one that's been torturing her and her friends for the past 2 years and a half, she just can't forget either way. And she hates herself for it, hates that she's so naive when it comes to the former Queen B of Rosewood High. But at least, she's pretending to hate her, which she does pretty well since Alison herself is now convinced that the brunette hates her, or at least that's what Emily thinks.

She was too deep into her thoughts and her phone ringtone snapped her out of them. She looked at her phone and saw Paige's name calling. "Hey Paige !" she answered.

"Hi Em ! So i'll be there in like 2 minutes, i'll be waiting in the car"

"Yeah i'll be there ! See you in a minute"

Emily looks at herself in the mirror, making sure she looks okay, grabs her purse, puts her phone inside of it and makes her way to the front door. When she's outside, she waits about 15 seconds until she sees Paige's car, waiting for her. Emily sighs, and thinks to herself that she needs to have a good time tonight.

"I missed you, Em", says the other brunette as soon as Emily sits in the passenger's seat.

"Yeah, i missed you, too"

"Emily... Have you talked to.. you know... Ali lately ?"

"No... why are you asking me that ?", Emily said, not wanting to talk about the blonde, especially not with Paige.

"Well i don't know Em. You seem distracted sometimes and I was just thinking maybe it had something to do with..."

"With Mona. It has to do with Mona. Hanna is really hurting and I can't stop thinking about it", Emily cuts.

"I'm really sorry, Em. I didn't mean to remind you. I'm just worried about you.."

Emily appreciates when people are here for her and while Paige has done that alot with her, she really is grateful to her. But christmas is in two days and she really wants to enjoy it this year and she knows that this isn't gonna happen if they keep talking about Mona, or... Alison.

"Don't worry Paige, it's okay. Let's just forget about it for just a minute and at least try to enjoy holidays. Shall we ?"

"Of course, babe. In fact, I actually planned something for tonight"

Emily had no idea what was Paige up to when she called her this morning asking her to go out tonight. She didn't hesitate to say yes, after all, isn't that what she's supposed to do on holidays ? Going out with her girlfriend ?

The two brunettes had dinner at the grille first, they talked about nothing and everything, and now they're at Paige's place.

"Where are your parents ?"

"They're spending some alone time before we all celebrate Christmas together", Paige answers, her lips forming a little smirk

Emily kind of knew what was going on in Paige's mind. She understood, though, because since the two of them got back together, they didn't really get things physical except for kissing. As Paige took Emily's hand and dragged her to her room, Emily was now certain of what was in her girlfriend's mind.

But she haven't had her hands on anyone's bare skin since the night at Alison's, and she hates that she's thinking about the blonde. She shouldn't, she's with her girlfriend right now and she should be only with her, not with anyone else. At least she should try to enjoy what was about to happen.

As soon as they get in Paige's room, the current swimmer leads the former swimmer into the bed. They both sit, looking at each others. Emily is observing Paige, the girl that always has been here, by her side no matter what. And she suddenly feels guilty, guilty of choosing Maya over her years ago, guilty of breaking up with her for Alison. She wonders how is the brunette still here, after everything that happened ? And then she realized that she was willing to forgive Alison when she got back, even though she broke her heart into millions of pieces. The answer was simple, it was love.

Was she thinking that she loved Alison ? No, no way she thought. She's here with Paige, only Paige.

Paige leaned towards Emily, slowly. Emily closed her eyes, and leaned as well. Their lips met into a chaste kiss at first, Paige's hand behind Emily's neck and the tan girl's hands both on her girlfriends shoulders. The kiss deepened, Paige's tongue dived into Emily's mouth and dancing with the darker skinned's tongue. The current swimmer's hands found Emily's blouse buttons, unbuttoning them one by one, and then taking the blouse completely off the brunette. Paige's hands trailing Emily's almost naked upper body, from her shoulders, to her chest, and then grabbing each side of Emily's waist.

Emily was okay with Paige taking control of the situation. She needed someone to take her away from her thought. She couldn't do that by herself so she was glad that Paige was taking the lead. Her girlfriend was starting to straddle her, then Emily found herself laying on her back with Paige straddling her, leaving gentle kisses everywhere on her revealed skin.

"I missed you, I missed this, Emily", suddenly said the current swimmer while pulling away from Emily's skin to look right into her eyes.

"Yeah, me too", Emily answers slowly.

"Are you sure you want to do this ?", Paige asks carefully.

"Why not ? It's not like it's our first time or anything"

"I know, but it's been a while. And I wanna make sure that you really want it"

"I do, I do want it, Paige."

Emily wakes up in the middle of the night, in an unfamiliar bed. She looks around and immediately recognizes Paige's room. She looks besides her and finds her girlfriend, naked. She then remembers how she ended up sleeping in Paige's bed. She remembers Paige taking all her clothes off of her, her hands everywhere on her body, her lips kissing every inch of her body and herself completely lost in her thoughts. She did want it, she wanted to have sex with Paige, she wanted to feel something, she wanted to be pleasured and so she could forget all the shit that's been happening.

She's startled by Paige turning her over to face her.

"Are you okay baby ? It's only 5 in the morning"

"Yes, I am. But we slept kinda early. I can't really get some sleep"

"Okay, let's not sleep then ! Do you want me to make some breakfast ?", Paige asks gently

"I'm not really hungry"

"Emily... What's wrong ?"

"Nothing !", Emily snaps. "Why are you always insinuating that something is wrong ?"

"Because i know you Em, and I can tell something is off with you ! I'm not gonna keep on pretending that everything is okay."

Emily doesn't want to have this conversation, so she sits up, looking for her clothes.

"Emily ! Don't walk away, please..."

"I'm sorry Paige, but I told you last night that I just wanna have a good time for a minute. Why can't you let that happen ?", Emily yells. She doesn't know herself what exactly is going on with her (or she doesn't want to admit what is going on to herself), how could she talk about it with Paige ?

"But Em, I'm your girlfriend. Why do you act like I don't even know you ? You should be able to tell me anything !"

Emily remains silent. She takes her panties and her bra, putting them on. She notices her leggings on the edge of the bed, so she puts them on as well while Paige is sitting up, covering her breasts with the sheets.

"Look Em...", Paige sigh, "I know that this is about Alison. I know that you're still angry because Alison turned out to be someone completely different than who you thought she actually was. And it's okay, Em. I understand, you can talk to me about it..."

Emily rolled her eyes, still looking for her last piece of clothing.

"I dont know that yet", She says, not looking at Paige.

"What do you mean ?"

"Nothing. I'm... I'm just not really sure what's happening. I haven't even talked to Ali for weeks now. I-I feel like things are... unclear", Emily says, stuttering a little.

"Well it seemed pretty clear to me when your friends basically outed her as A !" Paige snaps.

"We don't know that, Paige ! Mona thought so but it doesn't mean it's true. I'm not saying that Ali is innocent, i'm just saying that things are unclear because I can't even find how is it possible that Ali would fake her own death for just... Nothing ! She saved my life, twice ! it just doesn't make any sense now that i actually think about it", Emily says rapidly and nervously.

"You really can't see any bad in her, can you ?", Paige sighs like she's exhausted

"Look, Paige... Don't worry about it, okay ? I'm careful. You dont need to worry, just focus on enjoying holidays.", Emily says slowly while finally putting her blouse on.

Emily walks towards Paige, pecks her on the lips, and walks her way to the door.

"Where are you going, Em ?"

"I need to talk to Ali."

I hope y'all liked it ! Please leave me a review and so i would know if I should update it or not ! I'm sorryyyy if you hate that Paige is involved, but what can we do ? She is involved ! Don't worry, i won't disappoint you if I update it. Like I said in the summary, THIS IS AN EMISON STORY !