Hey everyone! Sassiersphinx here again with something completely different. Modern times, AU, with a few of my OC'S coming back to play. I missed a few of them, and they have been yelling at me to come back… Yeah, that sounded a little insane. But anyway, Desmond and Ezio are roommates, Malik and Altair are best friends, and Kadar lives with Malik. Many more will join the group in their exploits.

Desmond Miles didn't know if it was a good thing, or a really bad thing when Ezio Auditore leaned over him, shit eating grin threatening to split his face. Normally when the Italian was looking like that it involved one of two things. Pain, on his end, and a party, which he was the residing bartender. Either one did not bode well for him, because none of it would pay his bills, and the last time he went to a party with Ezio he ended up in jail with a big ape of a man that wanted him to be his boyfriend. Uh, uh, no sir, ain't happening this time.

"Oh Desmond!" Ezio's voice left his lips in a sing song way that made Desmond cringe in true fear. That was never a good sign.

Trying to play it cool, and not show fear to his roommate, who truthfully, terrified the shit out of him when he was in a pleasantly good mood, he gave his best poker face. "Yes Ezio?" His voice stayed neutral, which he was thankful for and he now was glad for all those late night poker games with Malik and Altair. Those two could stare down the mafia with a straight face. Honestly, it was creepy how they managed it!

"You need to get out of the apartment. I know this friend…" and that was all it took.

"Oh no! Nope. Nada. Not going to happen. And just to make sure we're clear, not in a million years." Pushing past the guy so he could stand, Desmond began to make his way back to his room, hoping Ezio would give up. "Last time cost me a night in jail, a ticket for drunk and disorderly, and mine, yours, and Altair's lovely matching scars."

But lucky wasn't something he would ever call himself. Because the pest that was Ezio followed like a fly, buzzing around his ear, talking about this party with girls, and booze, and some things that would make a porn star blush. Tuning him out was hard, but he began to think about school, work, and the hot blonde who liked to come in on Saturday just to flirt with him. Yeah, when she popped into his brain, Ezio was long gone.

Then something solid connected with his face, and when his vision came back, he was staring at Ezio from his back, nose throbbing along with a particular spot on his forehead. "What the hell?"

The Italian was holding onto the wall, tears coming from his eyes, as he bit his lip to stop from laughing. But then the dam broke, and peals of laughter came from his mouth. Breathing became optional as between the laughs, he could hear Ezio gasping for oxygen.

"What the hell did you do?" Desmond asked as he sat up, feeling something warm dribble from his nostril. Placing his finger right above his lip, felt warm liquid flow onto the digit. Wiping it away, the American saw crimson blood on finger, causing the other man to laugher harder than he already was. "What the hell happened?"

"You (gasp) walked (snicker) into the wall!" Ezio managed to get out, trying his damnedest to breathe, but failing miserably. His tan face was shades of red from lack of oxygen.

Cupping his hand over his now bloody nose, Desmond pushed past his roommate in an effort to get to the bathroom. Lucky was not something he would call himself, and thinking of that woman made him do stupid things. Like walk into walls to avoid Ezio.

Managing his best glare, Desmond growled. "I hate you." And slammed the door in his face.

After wiping the blood from his face, and twisting some toilet paper into the bleeding nostril, he washed his hands, and came out only to find a gaggle of people in the middle of his living room. Altair Ibn-La'Ahad looked at him, sighed, and smacked the Italian upside the head. "What did you do to him this time, moron?"

Grabbing his wounded head, Ezio whimpered. "I did nothing! Damn! He tried to walk away from me when I was talking about the party, and the next thing I know, he does a face plant into the wall. I had nothing to do with it!"

Malik Al-Sayf snickered from his place in the recliner, arms gathered behind his head. "Looks like you smacked the wrong moron, Novice. Get the facts before you go around delving out punishment."

"I'm getting really sick of that nickname, Mal." Altair bunched up his fist, threatening to hit his best friend of like forever. "I'm gonna smack the shit out of you in like five seconds!"

Kadar, Malik's younger brother, looked from the raging man, to his smirking brother. "Do you really have to start again? The argument you tow had before we left wasn't enough?"

Desmond rolled his eyes as Altair stalked towards Malik, who sat in the chair like nothing was going wrong. Deciding he didn't want to replace any more furniture, and grabbed the other man by the arm. "Can you not do it in here? Small space, and I'm really tired of my neighbor complaining."

Shaun Hasting, his annoying history major neighbor, complained about the smallest shit. The placement of the doormat, the hours he came in from work, the volume of the television when the game came on. It was enough to make him want to strangle the guy, or wish they were back in a time to where he could get away with murdering him. Yeah, that would work. It was such a nice idea.

Altair glared at him with those creepy amber eyes of his, but backed down. "I'll beat your ass later, Mal."

Another snicker came from Malik. "You and what army? I could take your ass with one hand tied behind my back."

Desmond's day was not looking up. Truth be told all he wanted was a few peaceful hours on his day off. Was that too much to ask for? Really? Massaging the pain in his temple, he sighed. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "What are you guys doing here?" He finally asked.

Kadar stood, and smiled. "Ezio called and asked if I wanted to go to a party. Of course I said yes, but then brother dearest," and thumbed at Malik with a frown overtaking his face, "overheard, and told me that I wasn't allowed to go to a party that Ezio was going to be at alone. So, he came with me to play designated driver."

His eyes went to Altair, who was now sitting in one of the dining room chairs, backwards with his arms resting on the back. "How did you get dragged along?" Altair could barely stand being anywhere Ezio was, so having them at the same party was a recipe for disaster.

"My car. Malik walked out to a flat, and I, unfortunately, walked out at the wrong time." He grumbled, his chin resting on his arms. "I should have stayed at home."

"Please!" Malik snorted. "You're hoping to dodge the brunette again. You know, the one that insulted your manhood, and called you a jackass all in one minute. I liked her!"

Ezio, forever the ladies' man, his brown eyes going from Malik to the brooding man in the chair. "You have such a way with the women, Alty. I am so surprised you have ever been laid."

There was a round of choking laughter that came from the room, before Altair growled once more, his lip twisted up in a feral look aimed at the Italian. "Shut up." He spoke slowly, and Ezio was smart enough to listen. For once.

That made Desmond laugh as he took a seat between Ezio and Kadar. "I would have paid good money to see that! Was it that one girl, Maria?" Altair had not love life. Hell, he was lucky if he had some sort of date life. The only thing anyone could ever get the man to admit to was, he had no luck with women. Desmond could count on one hand how many women he had seen the older male with in the six years he had known him. Altair just could not date. It was awkward to say the least.

Malik shook his head, and Altair got really uncomfortable, burying his face into his arms. "No, some girl that just moved into his building. Novice there doesn't even know her name, but he has the biggest crush on her." He could have sworn he heard Altair mutter 'shoot me', but he could have been wrong.

"Oh! Oh! Are you talking about that one chick with the green eyes that just moved here from down south?" Ezio suddenly became very animated, and the shit eating smile was back. "She's hot!"

Kadar groaned, and looked over at Ezio. "You're thinking about Isabella, and no, not her. Besides, Isabella has reddish hair. The one Malik is talking about just moved in across from Altair. We keep telling him to just knock on her door, but he won't."

"Shut up kid." Altair lifted his head and growled from his chair, causing Malik to sit up in his.

"Don't you dare tell my brother to shut up when you're too chicken shit to talk to a woman. Just because you seem to be attracted to the crazies doesn't give you the right to snap at people." Malik was nearly on his feet and Altair was doing the same. "Grow a set and talk to her. The worst she's gonna do it laugh in your face."

Desmond leaned back on the couch, throwing his arm over his face, but mindful of his throbbing nose, and groaned. Could he ever get one day without some fight, drama, or over sexed Italian? The answer to that was the same as he gave Ezio not even a half hour before. Nope, nada, not going to happen, and never in a million years. He really needed new friends.