"Pfft." Madara scoffed, standing atop the head of the Juubi. "Beat me? Not in a million years. You don't even have control over your biju!"

"Actually…" the Damned Uzumaki replied happily, "Kurama and I are friends now!" The boy then proceeded to transform into his tenant and start haphazardly firing bijudama at… oh, anything and everything?

Madara viewed the battered landscape and similarly battered white smears that probably used to be Zetsu. "Have some respect for the landscape, boy! And anyway, I've got the Juubi. You still can't defeat me!"

"Actually…"

Madara gritted his teeth.

There was a flash of yellow and a kunai passed through the throat of a White Zetsu.

"Oh, hi dad! Anyways, as I was saying, Orochimaru revived the first four Hokages and now them and Sasuke and Team Taka are fighting with us!"

The Damned Uzumaki was getting on his nerves.

"I don't care!" Madara said, pressing on bravely. "If that's the case, I'll just extract the Nine-Tails and you'll die! Ha!" He proceeded to do just that.

The Damned Uzumaki opened his mouth once again. "Actually… my dad can seal his half of Kurama into me, and that'll work! Also, my Therapy Jutsu worked on Obito." It (Madara refused to think of his enemy as a he) grinned broadly.

"No matter how many tricks you have," the Uchicha announced with bravado he wasn't at all feeling, "You cannot beat the power of the Sage of Six Paths with your pitiful Alliance!"

"Actually…" the Damned Uzumaki coughed awkwardly, "I sort of met the Sage… and me 'n' Sasuke got his power… and, ah, Sasuke has the rinnegan…"

"Good lord, Uzumaki!" Madara exclaimed. "Where are you getting all… this? Anyways," he added with more confidence, "you can't possibly have any more tricks up your sleeve."

The Damned Uzumaki blinked. "Actually..."

"I give up!" Madara shouted.