I'm clearly having Jerza fever because this is my third story for them, I just can't stop coming up with ideas!
Should have the next chapter for Fighting the Inevitable up tomorrow for those who follow it, but for now have some slightly tragic/funny/adorable Jerza!
I do not own Fairy Tail (womp).
An Unexpected Diagnosis
"GET BACK HERE, YOU FIEND!" A woman's voice roared throughout the guild hall, to which a small girl's voice repeated. "Yes! Back, you fiend!"
Asuka Connell giggled at how funny her mama's friend (and current babysitter) Erza Scarlet sounded as she yelled at Nastu while they played "Dragon Hunter".
"Hey! Why do I gotta be the evil dragon?!" Natsu yelled back at Erza while getting off of his hands and feet. Erza shot him a glare though that instantly sent him back to the ground in fear.
"Because Natsu breathes fire like a dragon!" Asuka laughed.
"Yes, evil fire that wreacks havoc and must be stopped!" Erza sang as she thrust her sword into the air. She then gave Natsu a look indicating it was time and Natsu nodded, inhaling deeply before letting out a stream of fire. Erza pretended to have been struck by the flames and fell to the ground dramatically.
"Erza, no!" Asuka yelled and ran over to the young woman.
"Asuka..you must defeat the evil dragon Natsu..a-at all costs! I-I..have faith in you!" She spoke dramatically in between exagerated breaths.
"I'll get him!" She proclaimed and ran towards Natsu at full speed, jumping onto him and ultimately causing him to fall back onto the ground.
"Yes, I finally beat Erza!" Was all Natsu could say as he sprawled out on the floor with a very happy Asuka laughing, sitting on top of him.
"Yeah, in a child's game." Gray chuckled, watching from the side.
"Oh yeah, you wanna go for real Ice Princess?!" Natsu yelled from the ground.
"Nah, I think you got your hand's tied at the moment." The ice-make mage mocked as Asuka began pulling on Natsu's hair. "HEY! What are you doin' that for?!" He howled, to which the young girl continued to laugh.
"Hey Erza, how'd it go?" Bisca asked, laughing as she approached the woman who was getting up off the floor and brushing the dirt off of her clothes.
"I'd say it went great." She replied, smiling at the small girl who was still pulling on pink strands, now demanding Natsu to fly.
"Mama! I want Erza to play again!" She stated, jumping off of Nastu and running over to her mother. "Oh do you now?" Bisca replied, leaning down to give her baby a kiss.
"I don't." Natsu mumbled, as he looked down at small patches of pink hair that rested on the ground in front of him.
"Mhm, she's the best! She is strong and plays dragon with me and Natsu, but she also likes to dress up and play princess with me too!"
"Well you're in luck little lady, we were just going to ask if she could watch you again tonight!" Alzack spoke, watching his daughter's face light up at his words.
"Another mission? I am impressed, you two have been taking a lot of requests lately." Erza said to Bisca. While Alzack picked Asuka up, Bisca leaned in close to Erza.
"Well the truth is, we aren't workin' tonight. We're having a date night, hopefully gonna some alone time finally." The gunwoman said suggestively, to which Erza's face turned red.
"O-oh, yes t-that's right, you two are m-married after all, that's what married couples do I-I guess." Erza stuttered, now completely flustered at the thought of the two partaking in the activities she had only ever read about.
"Yeah, well we are hopin' to have another baby soon. Gotta start sometime, right?" She winked at Erza.
"A-another baby?!" Erza spat out. "Yes! But not so loud, it hasn't happened yet." Bisca laughed quietly.
"So am I gonna play with Erza again tonight?" Asuka asked, now standing next to the Requip mage, holding onto the hemline of the woman's skirt with one hand.
"It's up to Erza." Bisca smiled.
"Of course." Erza responded, smiling back.
"Yay!" the child proclaimed, wrapping her arms around Erza's legs in joy. Erza picked the girl up and she hugged her neck, but looked up towards the front of the guild when she heard the voice of the guild master speak.
"Listen up brats! I asked Porlyusica to come do routine check-ups." The man spoke, resulting in groans from the guild. "Its been far too long since you've all had a physical, so no excuses!" The man declared.
"But gramps, I don't wanna do a check-up!" Natsu whined.
"Nastu's just sayin' that because he doesn't want another shot in his butt!" Happy giggled and covered his mouth, casuing Asuka to hysterically laugh.
"Enough! The last time you were all checked out, you were children! A lot has changed since then for example, Cana's liver is probably completely shot at this point!" The master added.
"HEY, my liver is fine!" A drunken voice came from the bar.
"I for one, know that I am in perfect health, but I do not see the harm in a physical assessment." Erza chimmed in, causing everyone to roll their eyes.
"What are you talking about Erza? You probably have Diabetes from the amount of sugar you consume on a daily basis. You know you'd have to stop eating cake if that was the case, right?" Gray joked, but Erza did not find this funny in the slightest.
"WHAT?! Do not lie to me about such things!" She barked.
"It is non-negotiable! Everyone will sit and wait to be called in!" The master finished, but Erza was too busy still imagining how horrible life would be without cake to pay attention to the mater's instructions.
Erza sat in her chair outside of the office Makarov loaned to Porlyusica. She fumbled with the hemline of her skirt nervously as she waited. No cake ever again? Unacceptable! I must be in good health, I surely work out enough! She thought, trying to convince herself everything was fine.
"Erza?" The old woman emerged from the room. "Present." The Scarlet mage stood from her seat and made her way into the room.
"Ok, let's do this quickly. Go lie down please." The old woman demanded, and Erza obeyed, leaning herself back onto the cold surface of the table.
"I just need to go over a few things first, now are you active?" The woman asked. Erza simply peered up with a "does it look like I'm an active person?" face.
"Do not sass me child, I'm only here because Makarov asked, now just answer the question!" She hissed.
"Yes, I workout every morning." Titania spoke pridefully, she had never missed a morning workout in her entire life.
"How is your eyesight?" The woman inquired, taking a look at the very eye she gave the girl years ago, making sure there was no need for a replacement.
"Perfect." Erza replied.
"Any alcohol or cigarettes?"
"The occasional drink, that is all." Erza answered.
"Are you sexually active?" Porlyusica added, and Erza nearly choked on the air she just inhaled. How could this woman ask such things so nonchalantly?!
Of course Erza read her adult novels, but she never actually partook in such acts. In fact, she had never even kissed anyone...well except for that one time she almost kissed Jellal. She felt her body instantly heat up remembering how close she was to having a real first kiss that night at the beach with him. She snapped out of her daydream though when she heard an aggitated voice speak.
"Well?" The woman asked impatiently.
"N-no." Erza stuttered, her face was still bright red, she could tell. She just wanted to be done with this physical exam already.
Porlyusica then guided her hands over Titania's body, using an ability to see inside her, scanning to check for anything out of the ordinary. The woman was impressed, for someone who had endured such a tough childhood, her body functioned in perfect health. The healer was convinced her job was done, but hesitated once she reached her lower abdomen. She stared down for a moment, and sighed at what she found before her.
The woman stopped, walked away from the table, and sat down in her chair facing away from the young mage.
Erza felt uneasy from the sudden silence and lifted her back off the table, swinging her legs around and letting them hang off of the side. "May I ask what's wrong?" She started, shaking slightly.
"You're body suffered a lot of trauma as a child, you're lucky most of your organs had not recieved any substantial damage other than your eye, but there is something I have noticed." She turned around around to face the queen of the fairies.
"What is it?! Is it the Diabetes Gray spoke of?! Can I never eat cake again?!" Erza cried out, but she felt her stomach drop when she saw the troubled look on the woman's face.
Porlyusica was afraid something serious like this were to happen. She was not fond of humans, but this was one of Makarov's children, and to deliver such news truly pained her.
"What I'm saying is.." The elderly woman paused, her sad gaze unable to meet the eyes of the girl before her.
"I am afraid you will most likely not be having children in your lifetime."