DISCLAIMER: There are some things in this chapter which reference religion and a literary look at the Bible. Please do not take them seriously. I'm just a twenty year-old woman who will tell you straight up that I'm too young to really know anything about anything. It is JUST an objective look at what has been written across religions. If you like what you read though, do more research about it or ask me for sources. Thank you for understanding.
Wow, hello, hello, my most beautiful of people. Promises is finally a-go. I really hope you guys enjoy the first chapter. I worked really hard on it, please be kind to me and my tired, old bones. Naruto's POV
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The literary department was dead, a calm settling through the walls. There was no flip-flopping of my fellow graduate students, all hurrying to make big paper deadlines. There was no hurried steps of professors with huge stacks of papers to grade. Midterms were finally over. For another three weeks it would be silenced and peaceful in the building.
I walked to my office, morning coffee in hand. During midterm week, everyone was always in a panic. And I always had to be vigilant so no one would spill my coffee via slamming into me, practically a stress zombie. It was like a frenzy, no apologies, no nothing. But now, everyone was elated. Suffering and cramming phonebook sized papers into office slots were a thing of the past.
I sat down at my desk, placing my coffee on the small coaster in the corner of my workspace. The rest of it was filled with books, knick-knacks, graded papers students hadn't bothered to pick up. I sighed, contemplating pulling my laptop out of my bag. I needed to get some work done for my lesson plan…But I couldn't focus.
There was something nagging me at the back of my mind. A little red flag but I couldn't quite figure out what it really meant. I had made sure, three different times that I had turned in everything for my graduate classes. My portfolios were good, stylized, edited, and there was nothing left for me to do.
But it was just there. A feeling that I was forgetting something.
Who knows, though?
I glanced up at my door when I heard soft thudding against the wood. "Come on in." Sai, my roommate, came waltzing in. He was wearing that annoying black half-shirt and dark jean combo that drove me nuts. Considering he was also so supposed to have an air of sophistication to him, this outfit never ever said graduate student. It was even more unnerving since we lived in the misty, cold northwest where the sky could open up a torrent at any second.
He waved, wiggling all of his fingers as he entered my office. His short raven hair looked wet, as though he rushed over from our apartment to be here. I raised an eyebrow. "Braving the depths of Padelford, are we?" He stopped short, right in front of my desk. I hadn't sat down quite yet. I blinked a few times. "Did you forget how to get to Guthrie hall or something?"
Sai was smiling at me, dark, onyx eyes peering at me through equally dark lashes, not hiding a hint of amusement in them. He slapped something down onto my desk and I felt a jolt of panic rising up through my blood. I held the small stack of papers in my hands, shaking with the sheer stupidity only I could possess. "A certain someone forgot their Associate Professor application this morning. Rejoice that I, Sai, your loving roommate have such great foresight."
"I could kiss you, you know that?" I said, looking over the pages in my hand. I stood up from my desk. I needed to deliver this right away. Today was the last day for applications and if forgot this, well, my life would effectively be over.
Sai stepped in front of my, grabbing onto my wrist, to pull me closer to him. I scoffed. "If you insist."
I sidestepped him, smiling at him. "Save it for our honeymoon."
"You mean the one we're not having?"
"Exactly!"
I half-jogged, half-walked to Kakashi's office. He was the current head of the literature department. And he would be the one who decide my fate. Being an Associate Professor would allow me to stay here after Graduate school for at least another year or two. Then my life would be mine. I could transfer out of this school, I could attempt to be a full time professor with actual tenure and everything. It would be glorious.
But of course, Kakashi could very well deny me and I would have to find a job. I did not want to be a copy-write guy. Eight hours a day writing up legal mumbo-jumbo, my wrist would physically fall off and I would no longer be able to do anything with my entire life, Sai would kick me out, and I'd be forced to move back in with Iruka, probably start teaching High school and cry myself to sleep every night. I shivered. I shouldn't work myself up like that.
"Thinking about teaching High School again?" Sai was keeping pace beside me, awfully persistent today. I nodded; he knew me pretty well by now. We had been living together since we were undergraduates. And looking back, that seemed like forever ago. He was smiling again, something I was never completely okay with. His smiles were like…I didn't know how to explain them. On the surface, they seemed polite, correct, but when you looked past them, into his eyes, you knew there was nothing there to support it.
"Why are you even here? Besides to brighten my day, of course." I spat, sarcasm dripping from words even though I smiled at him. Sai smirked.
"Classes for me don't start until eleven." Sai said as I stopped, slipping my application into the wrack on Kakashi's door. "And my office hours aren't until one so I have time to kill. Besides, I remember a certain someone who needed a certain application…"
I paused, looking at him and then looking down at the watch on my wrist. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS ALMOST TEN THIRTY!? I HAVE CLASS IN FIVE MINUTES!"
"Well, maybe you shouldn't sleep in so late, so you'll actually know what time it is when you get to your office." Sai offered, smiling.
I shoved him out of my way, running back to my office to grab my bag.
WHY DID MY CLASSROOM HAVE TO BE HALFWAY ACROSS CAMPUS?!
I shuffled in, nearly late. My students were all chatting, sitting around in their friend groups, some were quiet, sleep-ridden. Some looked like they were about to fall over with exhaustion. You'd think after so many years at college, you'd get used to the stress crunch, but it effects everyone differently; like me, I do best under pressure. Maybe one day my students will find the way to stave off the constant stress of the quarter.
I pulled out a small container of chalk from my bag; still secretly hating who decided to give me one of the older rooms without a projector. It wasn't that big of a hassle, really, but sometimes my handwriting was a little on the god-awful side. I cleared my throat causing a lull to spread throughout the room. Everyone turned towards me, some smiling, some looking utterly bored, some secretly texting beneath their tables. Can't win 'em all, I guess.
"Good morning everyone." I said, smiling to them. They muttered replies back. Sometimes I wondered if I should stick with teaching later in the day classes so everyone was more lively but ten thirty really wasn't that early…I thought.
"Today, we're going to be larger picturing the Bible. Since this is a Bible as literature class, we have to be objective in our interpretations of passages, characters, and symbolism." I said, writing down 'archetypes' on the board with the chalk. I'd learned by now that if you press lightly enough, it wouldn't squeak but would still be dark enough. Nothing like learning how to write in chalk…
"And I know what you're all thinking, 'Naruto, this is the exact same thing you said on the first day of class.' And well, you're right. I did say that. However, it seems like people enjoy checking out part-way through the quarter and blatantly ignoring everything I said in the first two weeks of class about objectivism. I only say it to remind you."
I turned towards the class, watching as their faces stared back at me, bored. I always felt a little irked when I never got a reaction out of them. But, whatever, they had post-midterm brain. "So, while we've examined small territory within the Bible; the stories, parables and the like, we still have yet to cover major ground..."
Everyone pulled out their notebooks, flipping pages and clicking pencils and pens in an out of sync rhythm. "Now, small disclaimer. I know, another one after the one I just gave. Sorry, it is necessary. This is a literature class, which means we have to look at themes in other works, compare them, and then see the inherent operation of such tools as a whole. That brings me to part two of the disclaimer; if any of you come up to me after class to yell at me about what I say during this lecture, I will say to you what I say every quarter to every single butt-hurt undergraduate. This class," I paused, pointing around the room. "Is not a bible studies class. My job is to tear apart literary symbolism and themes to show you how meaning is circumscribed inside sentences. If this lecture offends you because it attempts to broaden your thinking, perhaps instead of getting mad, you should interrogate your belief system and reaffirm connections for yourself. Get it? Everyone clear? Good. Shall we begin then?"
I never give them enough time to answer anymore. Gotta keep them off their game so no one tries to interject with something that directly violates everything I usually say in my disclaimer. I shouldn't even need one; we're all in a University setting. But, it didn't matter. People believed what they wished and when challenged get defensive…Same story, time and time again.
"First, context. As always we need context to further understand theme. Where would we be without our almighty context to guide us?" I said with a smile. I turned my back to the classroom, hearing the opening and click of the door. Whoever it was only a few minutes late so I guess for now I wouldn't chastise them. I didn't even acknowledge them by turning around. I really don't want to get branded with the stamp of the mean teacher this early in my career.
I stared to draw a huge circle in the middle of the board, cutting two lines through the top to the bottom and again going right to left. Inside the four divisions, I cut them even smaller until there were twelve sections. I pulled my hand back, moving out of the way so that everyone could fully see what I had drawn. "Can anyone name what I'm drawing in this incompletely state?"
"It's the pictorial representation chart of the constellations, seasons, and the equinoxes." A girl in the front said.
"Right. And just to save time and your eyes, I won't draw in the symbols for the constellations, just names." I put down the chalk. "Now a lot of what we know about the not-so long ago, long ago is that they were avid watchers of the sky. How do we know this?" I pointed up to the board, to my crude circle. "We have plenty of evidence which suggests a fair amount of cultures had an intense interest in the sky; the sun in particular. They understood the implications of the sun itself, meaning, that they understood when the sun went down it would be cooler, it would be darker, and it would be typically more dangerous. And that, my dear students, gives us one of the most common literary themes in the history of books. Does anyone know which one?"
Silence was usually golden but…
Better just continue.
I picked up the chalk again, passing it between my hands. "Oh, sorry time has run out. Good versus evil is the theme I was thinking of. Now, I know what you're thinking. 'But Naruto, good and evil are always characters in some way, not just the day and the night. The setting is usually for context and atmosphere' and wow, great observation, but that's not exactly true, is it? Evil and good can be presented as just the day and the night. And if they sometimes when they are, they are juxtaposed to convey a theme; never just thrown on a page without care mind you. But as it were, even in a symbolic form, the day and night alone don't pack as much punch as a character we can outright identify as evil or good. Protagonist, antagonist. However, that leaves us with the question of…Well, if the sun isn't a character and just a symbol how do we know the sun has characteristics that can be shared in the first place?"
My fingers were already powdered white from the dust clinging to them as I turned to write. I wrote 'personification' on the board. "When we attribute human like qualities to objects, we personify them. We make them human in nature. It is also how we can explain objects; like the sun. If we give human characteristics to something like the sun, it makes the super-human characteristics otherworldly BUT plausible. And then, we can reapply them to character it allows them to seem larger than themselves because they share these traits with, well, things larger than ourselves. And that my lovely students, is the origins of Gods, in literary context."
Underneath what I had written earlier, I added 'virgin mother, December twenty-fifth, twelve followers, crucifixion, and resurrection.' "Even if you have a very limited understanding of the Bible, these themes should spell out one person and that person would be…Obviously…Jesus." I wrote that name on the board. "But of course, there's a reason I've put all of these characteristics underneath the 'archetype' category. Because I can name at least five god-like figures who share similar, if not EXACT traits with Jesus and they all pre-date him."
The room was silent, taking in the information, formulating it in the notebooks as they scribbled furiously. "Krishna, Dionysus, Romulus, Buddha, and Horas; just some I can think of on the top of my head. While not all of them will share exact stories, there are things that each possess that Jesus also possesses. But why is that important? Can anything answer me that?"
Ever silent, as always, I shook my head. "Kind of important…Kind of an important aspect of literature…Kind of why books across countries work…" I muttered. I let out a long sigh. I turned back to the board, about to circle the word 'archetype' which I had written as the lecture title.
"Jesus is an archetype," my fingers shook with the sudden voice. "He shares numerous characteristics with other, major religious figures. He is a character, rehashed and given a new face with every religion. In that way, he is far more relatable than something sharing no characteristics with the deities of that region. In a pessimistic sort of thinking, it makes Christianity's spread across cultures intrinsically simple."
I was stunned, turning so that I could face the class. There was no way. That voice wasn't…
And that's when I saw him, sitting in the back of the room. He was staring back at me and I felt my heart thudding in my chest. Why was he here?
How did I not notice him before?
"Well, yes. Though, not exactly what I was looking for I do appreciate your bravery…Sasuke." I turned away from him, feeling suddenly awkward. I think everyone was starting to notice too because they all seemed very interested in Sasuke. They obviously knew he isn't a regular student. "What I was trying to get at is that while the stories are 'rehashed' as you so assert, their themes connect them to cultural beliefs; usually shared ones. That, in turn, makes the stories more universally available. Across cultures, the characteristics are familiar; they give a certain meaning to the stories, no matter the region. But, this meaning itself is not some mystery, since Jesus shares these characteristics, his teachings and stories make sense to the people that are introduced to them. So, agreeably, yes, Christianity can spread more easily across cultures. Not my main point though…"
I looked around the room. Why did I feel such a strong tension between myself and Sasuke all of a sudden? I just noticed he was here! I bit the inside of my cheek. Everyone was still taking small glances at him; girls in the front row were giggling. I slammed my hand down by them so they would quiet down. "Any questions before we move on?"
A hand went up in the back, about four or five seats away from Sasuke. Whoever it was must have either been really short, or they were ducking their head down. "So, like…" Oh God, please spare me. "Is this the Sasuke you were with in High School? I'm texting Gaara and I need the details." Sai's head popped up from behind the student he was sitting behind.
"Sai, what are you doing in here? Get out." I felt a push of anger in my blood as I glared at him. He was lucky there were four rows of tables separating us otherwise I would have been all over him. And I pack quite a punch.
"This is your Jesus lecture. It's my favorite. I'm always here for Jesus day." Sai kicked back in his seat. "You gunna answer my question?"
I briefly looked at the clock. "Alright, everyone, early day. If you have questions email me, otherwise have a nice day."
Sasuke was smirking the entire time. My eyes were fixed on him, fixed on that face. It was just as I remembered it. Strongly structured, aristocratic nose, pale as the day he was born, lips cherry red with life…Framed with raven feathers that always seemed to sparkle with an odd blue tint. I felt heat in my face as he sat there, watching my students leave.
Sai was still there too, much to my dismay. I frowned. "Sai, out. Now."
"I brought you coffee." Sai said in a sing-song voice, shaking the ice drink from the back of the room. "I bet you my entire paintbrush collection that this morning you forgot your coffee on your desk. You were in quite a hurry." I slunk towards him, grabbing the coffee from his hand, mumbling my thanks under my breath. I drank the entire cup in record time.
"Okay, now get out." Sai just patted me on the cheek. He was lucky I didn't bite him. "Sai, don't you have class to attend to? I thought you said it started at eleven?"
He smiled at me; an almost all-too-knowing smile. "Naruto, it's Thursday. I teach on Mondays and Fridays. If I had let you know the truth about my classes, you would have definitely thrown your box of chalk at me when I walked in." He tricked me this morning; that bastard. He was oh so smart. I rolled my eyes. "But aside from that, I feel as though you're being quite rude, Naruto. You haven't introduced Sasuke and I."
Sasuke was sitting there in his seat still; I felt the heat in my cheeks as I glanced over my shoulder at him. He'd been silent the entire time, enjoying my little scene with Sai. Of course, Sasuke loved this kind of thing; he always said I was the cutest when I was flustered.
I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly; my smile was probably too wide and too nervous looking to be normal. I sighed. "Sasuke, this is my roommate and socially inept friend, Sai. Sai, this is Sasuke."
Sai waved; the annoying wave I really hate where he looks like he's clawing the air, like an idiot. Sasuke just smirked, eyes cast away from Sai. Yep, typical Sai and Sasuke. And I surrounded myself with people like this. I must be as stupid as everyone said.
Sasuke stood up suddenly, putting a hand on my shoulder. His thumb rubbed circles gently into the muscle. His mouth opened, parting his lip slightly as he leaned closer to the two of us. "As nice as it was to meet you, Sai, I'm here on Dobe related business."
I immediately turned, his hand pulling back from shoulder as our arms wrapped around each other. His body felt just like I remembered; taut with muscle, hard, yet inviting against mine. Against my better judgment, I nuzzled against his neck, bringing a chuckle to his lips. I could hear Sai let out a gasp of excitement as well, but I decided to ignore it.
I pulled back as he leaned in, kissing me gently on the lips. Just a peck, just a small touch, but I nearly shivered. Greeting or not, it was pleasantly unexpected. I flushed nervously, smiling. Time to ignore the awkwardness. I held onto his upper forearms, looking closer at his face. God, he changed. Well, he had grown some, still towering over my short ass, which was to be expected. But his face was more mature, thinner and more angular; the baby fat of our youth finally melted away. But those eyes, they were just as dark, just as deep, just as expressive…
I started to laugh, hugging him against me again. "God, man…I can't believe you're here." I moved my arms up to his face, catching it between my palms. "You look great, Sasuke." I was smiling.
"Can't say the same for you, Dobe."
I wasn't smiling anymore.
I gawked at Sasuke, my jaw slackening with shock. Sai was just sitting behind us, laughing, evilly. Well, to be fair I did let my guard down. Sasuke was quite good at seeing openings and taking them. I gritted my teeth as Sasuke patted me on the head, rubbing my hair in the way he knew I hated.
"Well," I said with a sullen tone. "At least Sakura will be happy you're here."
"I've just met him and I'm happy he's here." Sai snipped, taking a jab at me. At this rate they'll have to change the expression to 'kill two ravens with one stone' because that's what I was going to do.
Sasuke leaned against the table. "Don't pout, Dobe."
"So, why are you here anyway? It's been awhile since you were in back in Seattle."
He smirked at me, poking me in the nose. "As I do recall, a certain blond Dobe has a birthday on Saturday." My stomach felt like it was in a knot.
I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow at him, leaning so I could look him fully in the face. "Teme, we both know you didn't come back just for my birthday."
"Believe what you will, then." Sasuke said with a shrug. "But, I will also be a graduate student here as well, from tomorrow onward."
Sai and I probably had the same face when he said that. It was incredibly rare to get new graduate students this late in the quarter, hell, this late into their academic career. At the beginning, sure. People transferred colleges all the time. But this was just strange. Sasuke must have had some very extenuating circumstances to lead him here.
"Did something happen at your college? Did you kill someone?" I eyed him suspiciously.
Sasuke scoffed. "Oh yes, because coming back to Seattle after murdering someone would be the best move." He shook his head, looking almost too amused.
"Ted Bundy did go to this university." Sai added suddenly. "God bless the Northwest."
"Don't mind Sai, he's a psych major." I replied. Sasuke rolled his eyes, seeming a little impatient.
"Psych and art major." Sai corrected, holding up a single finger, shaking it at me. "I'm going to be an art therapist."
"Nobel," Sasuke commented, hands on his hips.
"What about you, Sasuke? I doubt you're an English major like good ol' dick-less."
"Dick-less?" Sasuke asked, giving me his full attention. A smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"Don't you even start with me, Teme."
"I'm an engineer." Sasuke replied, seeming to pick up on my mood. Though I knew later, he would mock me about this. He had a keen mind for everything. "And as for the earlier question, I was having quite a deal of trouble with my lead professor, Orochimaru. He was not at all professional in his conduct and I grew quite tired of his actions, so much so that I decided I couldn't stay out on the East coast. This may not have been my first choice, being that it is only be a second-tier research university, but it'll do. Itachi is a very big figure in the physics department and I knew he'd give me a good word. But as chance would have it, they needed physics teaching assistance due to one dropping out in the middle of the quarter. They gave me a stipend to move back here as soon as I could. I flew in last night."
"Sounds like you lucked out." I mused while nibbling the inside of my lip.
"Yes and I was quite glad for it." Sasuke relaxed his stance. "Otherwise, I would have been lucky to get in after winter, at the earliest. And I didn't know if I could handle Orochimaru for another quarter…" Sasuke's brow twitched, showing the annoyance on his face. Sasuke really must have hated him a lot to just drop everything and suddenly transfer.
"So, what are you teaching? I doubt it's something upper division." I inquired, shifting my weight to my other foot. "If they were desperate for a TA, it must have been for something that had quite a large class size."
"Yeah, well, they want to test me out too, you know?" Sasuke seemed even more annoyed about that as he sighed quite loudly. "They said a great deal of my course evaluation weren't counted as valid because most of them always mentioned something about how I looked. For now, I'm teaching physics one-twenty-one."
I huffed, jealousy hitting my blood. Why did he get nice course evaluations? I bet I could teach circles around him. "Your course evaluations must be slightly better than mine, right? I've gotten so many 'you're going to hell' comments teaching this class that Sai and I pin the funniest ones of the fridge."
"Good times." Sai said, smiling.
"For what it's worth, from what I saw today, you're quite engaging in your lectures. I quite enjoyed it." Sasuke was smirking at me, patting me on the arm. It was strangely kind gesture from him. He wasn't known for his compliments, especially about my intelligence. "Though, if you want to see what real teaching looks like, you might want to stop by Kane one-thirty around noon tomorrow."
"You really haven't changed at all, have you?" I nearly yelled, feeling anger surging up my back. Sai was laughing again.
There was a knock at the door behind us, a man, around our age poking his head in. He looked a little nervous. "Are you guys finished yet? My class starts soon."
I nodded, walking back up to the board, clearing off the chalk and picking up my things. Sasuke and Sai both waited for me as we mumbled our apologies and left. We walked out into the hall, the creakiness of the floorboards in Parrington always made me slightly nervous. It always seemed like they might just crack and break at any moment. I really hoped it wasn't me who landed in that situation.
It was surreal, walking next to Sasuke as we descended down the stairs. I would have never thought he'd step a single foot back in Seattle, especially for longer than a visit. I knew from Itachi, Sasuke didn't come back a lot. And when he did, it was almost random, sometimes not even coinciding with a vacation period. Maybe that Orochimaru guy really got under Sasuke's skin. He must have really needled Sasuke with his shit badly if he abandoned an Ivy League for, what the media dubbed, 'a public ivy'.
We crossed the street, entering Red Square. I nearly tripped over a missing brick hole. Damn seniors. I would never understand this tradition. Creating pot-holes for their fellows students? Seems quite rude if you asked me. Sasuke pressed himself against my side to help me settle, Sai just chuckling under his breath. I could feel another flush heading up my neck when I felt Sasuke's body against mine. It was there. His warmth. Even through his sweatshirt, I could just feel his body heat radiating out.
Sasuke glanced over towards the Quad; the overcast of the sky blocking out the sun, shadowing his face even though it was late morning. "Ah, I spy an Itachi." I looked in that direction, the black hair swinging in a loose ponytail. He was glancing down at a large book, his glasses sliding down his nose as he focus on the words in front of him. "Hey, I'm going to go catch up with him. Text me?"
"You bet, Teme." We stopped walking and Sasuke pulled me into a strong hug. His fingers were pressing into the material of my raincoat and I could feel them clearly rubbing small circles in my back.
"It was nice to meet you, finally." Sai said with a smile, shaking Sasuke's hand. "I look forward to seeing you around." Sasuke nodded, waving to us as he jogged over to Itachi. He smiled as soon as Sasuke pulled on the fabric of his jacket.
I turned towards Sai, a smile creeping up my features. It was making my mouth twitch as I tried to suppress it. He put a hand on my shoulder and from just the look on his face I could tell he was about to make our shared apartment a warzone.
-
Sai stood in the kitchen, snapping open a can of Red Bull. He had just come back from his shift at Starbucks and obviously being around coffee all day doesn't equate to all day energy. I moved past him, pulling out the carton of orange juice in the fridge, taking a large swig before setting it back down. He was smiling at me; that eerie smile which told me he was about to play my least favorite game with me. 'TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT WHEN YOU AND SASUKE DATED!'
He was about to open his mouth when I immediately cut him off. "Sai, no. I've told you for the millionth time, what happened between me and Sasuke is old news." I said, almost glaring him down. My old love life is just that, old. And me repeating it and harping on it is not going to change what happened. Our relationship was inevitably doomed; I was tired of seeming like I was dwelling on it. Of course, his sudden reappearance was not helping. "I don't understand why you're so interested!"
"Better question; how could I not be?" Sai was pacing around the kitchen, barring me from leaving the shared space. "When I saw the two of you together today all I could think about was 'Wow, I totally ship them. OTP, ten out of ten.'"
"Sai! I'm done with this. Sasuke and I broke up like seven years ago." I said waving my hands with exasperation. "He's just here because circumstances played him this hand."
"But he's excited for your birthday!" Sai said, nearly leaping in the air with excitement and almost spilling his Red Bull in the process. "I bet you anything he got you his dick as a present!"
"Shouldn't you be less excited about this? You're my ex-boyfriend for god's sake!"
"I don't see how that changes anything. I want to see you happy, too, you know." He was smiling. "And you looked very happy with him."
I sighed. "I'm not telling you anything. You know everything you need to know about our relationship."
"How about a little competition?" Sai said with a smirk on his face. "We play a game, if you win, you don't have to tell me anything and I'll drop it; won't ever ask again. If I win, well, I'm hearing all the nasty details."
My jaw slackened with annoyance, leaning against the counter of our kitchen. I was shaking my head, rolling my eyes and thinking just how stupid it was. Though, if I did manage to win, he would finally leave it alone. Let the past stay there, dead and buried underneath the sands of time. I looked over at him, smiling and looking quite sure of himself. I sighed. "Fine. Name the game."
Sai smiled even wider. "Only the best game known to man; Monopoly."
I shivered, crossing my arms. "Absolutely not. I'm not sitting down for three fucking hours and playing that game with you." I poked him in the chest. "Besides, last time you got so mad when I won, you didn't talk to me for nearly a week. I am not dealing with that again."
"Dick-less." He commented just to irk me. Sai smiled still. If Sai wasn't my roommate, I might have just murdered him. We can dream. "Though, you're right." He paced into the kitchen, throwing his can of Red Bull into the recycling. "Okay, how about Super Smash Bros, one round; to the victor goes the spoils."
It was finally my turn to smirk. "Oh, you're going fucking down."
~ONE ROUND LATER~
"GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!" I swore, nearly throwing my controller to the ground. "How the fuck did you do that?!"
"Because I play Kirby and I play to win." He commented, completely serious for a change.
I could feel myself on the brink of having a rage-seizure. I was not a very good loser, for one, and now I had to fucking tell him. I had to bring out all of Sasuke and I's dirty laundry for him to inspect. I literally just wanted to crawl under a rock and hide for the rest of my life.
"Okay, story time. Don't leave anything out please." Sai put down his controller, smiling at me. He turned, throwing his legs over mine on the couch, like he wanted to trap me. I just wanted to slam his face down on the coffee table.
"Well, I don't even know where you want me to start." I said, shaking my head. "I mean, Sasuke and I had like a relationship-not-relationship for years."
"Start wherever. I've waited for this moment for years."
I wanted to cry with exasperation. "Fine, I'll just start at the beginning so you won't ask so many questions later. Sasuke and I met in middle school; we absolutely hated each other. He was an arrogant prick who had his head shoved too far up his own ass. And then there was me; awkward, lanky, short, inferiority complex. We'd get into verbal fights every day; his smug attitude bothered the shit out of me. And then one day, I noticed he was getting harassed by a group of these really annoying fourteen year-old pseudo-thugs. So, I helped him. And by help, I mean I got my ass beat. Sasuke, however, was a goddamn karate master." A small laugh broke Sai's silence and I glared hard at him. "He helped me up, took me back home with him, cleaned me up, and the rest was history."
"So, you got your ass beat, Sasuke took pity on you, and then you two became friends? Only you could make friends like that…"
"Keep up with comments like that and I will refuse to tell you anymore."
"So threatening."
"May I continue?" Sai made a movement with his hand as confirmation. I hated the amused look in his eye. "So then, High school. Sasuke and I were the best of friends. If I wasn't at his house, he was at mine. We actually had a lot in common, even though, at first, it seemed like we would never get along. We did everything together. Like when I got rejected by every girl I asked to prom and Sasuke rejected everyone who asked him, we went together. And I mean, when he came out to me, a lot of his behavior made way more sense…But then he actually confessed to me and told me he'd been thinking about us as a couple for a long time. But by this point, it was already the beginning of senior year. And let me say, it was a little late, but I was still willing to give it a try. I mean, when Sasuke told me he had feelings, it just felt…Right, you know? And deep down, I knew I loved him more than just friendship. I don't know how to explain it."
I bit the inside of my lip. "He was my first. My first kiss, my first relationship, my first lover. Just everything."
"How was the sex?"
"And how exactly did I know you were going to turn this mushy-gushing admittance into my sex-capade?"
"You are talking to me, after all." Sai replied and I rolled my eyes. "Besides, it wouldn't be a good romantic story if you didn't talk about sex."
"I don't know…? Fucking amazing? Best sex I've had?"
"That hurts my feelings." He said, pinching me on the leg.
I smirked at him. "Oh, but I thought you wanted to hear about it?"
"Don't you patronize me." Sai pouted, arms crossed.
"Anyway, our relationship was literally what everyone talked about. I mean it, everyone. Even the teachers talked about it. Everyone had apparently paired us together for like, ever, I guess. But that's when college happened. Sasuke was a genius; absolutely brilliant. Me, eh, I'm a community college before university kind of dude. And I knew…I knew we wouldn't make it past that. He and I both were aware, deep down, we wouldn't end up in the same college and even against his protests; I told him we should break up before we went off to college. He was going to the other side of the country and the long distance would have killed me. I mean, I was used to seeing him every day, all day…" I felt a little pang in my chest. I remembered sobbing so hard telling this to Sasuke and he just held me in his arm, petting my hair and kissing me. It was probably the hardest decision I had ever made.
"The summer before he left, it was filled with warm, sunny days together and longing. I didn't want him to go and I could tell he didn't want to leave, but he was getting a full ride and he couldn't pass it up. The night before he left, we got absolutely smashed, knowing it would numb the hurt. That night…" We laid on Sasuke's floor the entire night, pushing bottles away as we explored each other; need for touch outweighing our other senses. "Was filled with alcohol-soaked kisses, gentle words, and just…Feelings."
Sai wasn't smiling anymore, he wasn't smirking. He was just sitting there, his features actually displaying the hurt I had felt on my loneliest nights without Sasuke. I laughed a little. "We kept in touch, naturally. But I had been right about the distance. He only came back to town for holiday, but even then it was few and infrequent, and the best way for me to keep up with him was email. If we had tried to keep it going, I would have been more than miserable."
I looked at Sai and his featured were soft with sadness. "God, I think I need a shot of tequila just to numb the feelings I have about that story." He muttered, shaking his head. "But I mean, he's back now right? I think he's interested."
I raised my eyebrow at Sai's comment. "I don't think so dude. I mean I still consider him my best friend. We text. He calls me when he's not busy at college. We email each other a lot. Sakura says she even gets emails from him sometimes, so it's not like I'm getting special attention." I sighed, reclining my head back. "Besides, if he was interested in me still, wouldn't he have tried to, I don't know, transfer here when his undergraduate was over?"
Sai was shaking his head.
"I think you're reading too far into the situation." I added quickly.
"How long has it been since you've seen him in person?" Sai asked.
"Uhh…" I bit the inside of my cheek, running a hand through my hair. "My twenty-first birthday. But even that took some doing. I begged him for nearly a year to come and when he did show up, it was totally unexpected. Great surprise, though."
"Did you hook-up?" Sai leaned towards me, smirking.
I rolled my eyes. "Hate to disappoint, but we did not. I mean, that was right before I started dating Gaara. I was trying to find someone else than Sasuke, you know. He lived an airplane away."
Sai smirked again. "Obviously that didn't work."
"Obviously." I mimicked. "But if I had kept dating Gaara, we wouldn't have hooked-up."
He leaned in farther, his nose brushing past mine as our lips touched. Typical Sai. His fingers traced my thighs and I held back a shiver. We hadn't hooked-up in a while either. I tried to keep the sex I had with Sai to a minimum, especially after we broke up, but even I needed a release every once in a while. I let him pull me into his lap, fingers pressing into the back of my neck. "I thought you shipped Sasuke and I?" I mocked. His lips stuck to my neck, sucking gently.
He pulled back. "I do. Call me Sasuke when we do it, okay?" He was smiling again and I didn't hold back. Right in the side of his jaw, I punched him as hard as I could. His head jerked to the side, nearly throwing me off of him. "Too far?" He muttered, rubbing the side of his mouth.
I detangled myself from his mess of limbs and he clicked his tongue, disappointed, yet oddly amused. "You always take it too far."
"Tell me, have you ever told Sasuke about us? Or about Gaara?" Sai asked, still nursing his hurt jaw. I stood up, heading towards the kitchen. Sai moved to the arm of the couch, laying over it as I opened the freezer, pulling out a tray of ice. I gave a few good, cracking twists.
"Kind of." I said, wetting a washcloth and shoving a fist full of ice into it. "I told him that I had been hooking-up sometimes because we got on that topic one night. And I never said who so if you're suddenly worried about Sasuke wanting to kill you because you think he's still got a thing for me, you can rest assured that your true identity is safe with me." I placed the make-shift icepack into Sai's hand as he laid back on the couch, pressing it gently against his cheek.
"I wonder, then…"
-
Oh, I wonder what Sai wonders. I bet he's cookin' something up in that deliciously evil mind of his.
Naruto: Super, great. Thank you for introducing yet another pile of drama into my life.
Me: Oh babe, you're welcome. I do this because I care about you.
Naruto: Sometimes I wonder about you.
Me: Do you wonder what Sai wonders…about wondering about you about wondering about me?
Naruto: -stares- Yes?
Me: Yes, good. This was Hitoko-sama