So, recently I stumbled upon a KakuzuxInoxHidan fic that made me realize that they are SO UNDERWRITTEN, and inspired me to write this one. I am trying to go for more realistic than crack with this fic, so honestly it's not very likely to end up the way you may think…but you may just enjoy the ride :p

I have not written a fanfic in years, so I may be a little rusty…but here is to an awesome comeback (I hope). Please drop me a word or two as a review! Let me know there are still people out there that haven't completely forgotten about the awesomeness of the Zombie Combo!

I do not own Naruto.

Prologue

-Kakuzu-

One would think that in a time of war no one was safe. At least that's how the villagers were acting. None came out of their shelters or their ramshackle excuses of safe havens for fear of being spotted by the enemy and ruthlessly murdered on sight.

They were wrong.

In fact, quite the opposite could be said. With all of the village shinobi stuck in their designated battlefield, the streets and close outlying areas of the village were completely devoid of anyone at all. An entire parade could march through these streets and no one would be the wiser, enemy or not.

It was because of this that Kakuzu had no problem finding the forest he was looking for without even the slightest inclination of trouble from the natives, even though his body was screaming in protest. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be on those same battlefields that kept the Leaf shinobi from being able to protect their homeland. With each passing moment he could feel his will being leached away by the jutsu that controlled his corpse. He had to act quickly.

The mounds of rocks and dirt had seals strewn across the mounds that made the 'burial' sites painfully obvious. Diffusing the traps set around them was almost as easy, and he scoffed at the arrogance of the Leaf shinobi that had obviously written off this place in all of the recent commotion of war. Did they really think that it would be safe to leave alone? Or had they really just been so pre-occupied that they had no choice but to leave it unprotected?

He shivered at the tug of the jutsu and threw the two bodies he had been carrying over each shoulder down onto the ground near the closest mound of dirt. It did not take him long to unearth the remains of a half-rotted body. He had never attempted using his Earth Grudge techniques on another in this way, and ultimately was unsure if it would work. But he had nothing to lose, and possibly a life to regain. He replaced vital organs, sewed limbs back on to what was left of the torso, replaced large stretches of skin, tendon, arteries, and so much more.

He then dragged the headless body to the next pile of dirt and found himself sucking in an unnecessary breath as he surveyed the mound. He hated Hidan. He had only put up with him because killing him was literally impossible. And now his partner was his only hope. He cursed under his breath and began digging.

Over halfway through he began to hear wordless noises coming from the severed head whose mouth was no doubt filled with dirt and worms. Without bothering to dig further, his hand shot deep into the soft soil below him until he felt it. Just beneath his fingers he could feel the odd stringy texture of human hair. His fingers curled into a fist around it, and with one hard yank pulled the head out in a cloud of dirt and dust. He stared at the back of Hidan's silver haired head, and with a morbid curiosity twisted his wrist so that the head slowly swiveled in his grasp. Deep violet irises were sunken into dried and shriveled sclera. A rather long worm had eaten through the tear duct in his right eye, and had made a journey from the tear duct into the closest nostril, twitching half-heartedly as it inched it's way farther into the man's sinuses.

Kakuzu smirked at the head as it gave an astonished blink at him. "You look like shit," Hidan's eyes clouded with rage as more choked muffled sounds came from his clogged throat and mouth. "Shut up and listen," Kakuzu snapped, "I have a plan." The head grew silent as he placed it on the ground, pressing the two stumped pieces of neck back together as his threads began reattaching the two.

-Ino-

Ino hummed to herself as she leapt among the branches of the familiar trees in the Nara Clan Forest. She smiled as she spotted a deer in the distance, nose buried in the underbrush as it chewed peacefully on its meal. It was almost funny how life could go on like normal after everything that had happened over the last few years. Even now, she was hurriedly making her way to find a large growth of healing herbs and roots that she knew grew abundant in this patch of forest to help replenish the thinning stock at the hospital.

It was now six months since the end of the Fourth Shinobi World War, and rebuilding was taking its toll on everyone. She had to admit that despite this, it was heartwarming to see all the shinobi from the other villages lending a hand in any way they could to get Konoha back up onto its feet. Even the samurai from the land of iron were sending supplies to help with rebuilding. Absently she stroked the engraving on her allied forces forehead protector – it was now considered a sign of being a seasoned veteran and almost all shinobi who had received one in the war still continued to wear it visibly on their person, and she had hers tied to her belt so that it hung against her thigh. As her fingertips traced the kanji character she sent a prayer to her father.

Everything is fine dad, she thought with an odd sense of serenity, you would be so proud.

She got to the thickest part of the wood and slid to her knees while simultaneously extracting her clippers. She began clipping at the stems and roots of the plants before her, doing her best not to do any lasting damage to the plants so they would continue to grow strong in the future. She placed each clipping in the small pack at her hip when she heard a hawk cry in the distance. She looked skyward through the trees, in hopes of catching a glimpse of what was no doubt a Suna messenger carrier, and instead frowned at the positioning of the sun. She hadn't realized it was getting so late, and she had to get back to Shikamaru's house to help cook dinner with her teammates. She clipped a bit more to fill her pack and stood up slowly, sliding her clippers away and dusting off her knees with a great sigh.

It was the anniversary of Asuma's death. At the thought she had turned her head to look deeper into forest before her. She knew that not too far off, he was there, lying beneath meters of dirt. Her body seemed to move on its own as she stalked toward those trees, it wasn't until the trees began to thin that she realized she was standing just outside of the clearing where his body lay blown apart and buried in two separate holes.

"I hope you like the taste of worms you bastard," she stomped her way into the clearing.

Her heart pounded, faster and faster until she thought she would surely go into cardiac arrest. Her breath had gotten stuck and died somewhere between her lungs and her throat, and left a burning cold at the base of her throat. "No!" she choked as she stumbled closer to the first grave. Her breath suddenly came back in an uncontrollable rush and she began to hyperventilate, "No!" she gasped shrilly as she used chakra to cover the distance to the second 'grave' in a single leap.

"NO!" she shrieked as the forest suddenly seemed to close in around her. Her feet barely hit the dirt as she flew through the forest as fast as her chakra would allow. "Shikamaru!" she screeched, the scene of the empty graves replayed in her mind over and over. Her eyes darted to every shadow, every small sound – could he still be here? But she knew better, that dirt had been undisturbed for quite some time. She cursed for all of their stupidity. How could they have forgotten to check on him!?

"SHIKAMARU! CHOUJI!" the house was coming into view, and she could feel the cold chill of wind against the tears streaming down her face.

"Ino!" Shikamaru and Chouji's eyes were wide in alarm as they burst from the house, searching the trees frantically for their screaming comrade. "Ino!" Shikamaru's eyes widened impossibly larger as he focused on her form bursting through the trees. "Ino what's wrong?" Shikamaru grabbed her by the shoulders as she crumpled to her knees on the ground before him.

Tears choked her as she struggled to find her breath, "He's gone!" was all she could manage before dissolving into sobs on the ground.

-Hidan-

Blood covered everything. The bodies he had needed were scattered in piles all around the enormous circle of power he had created and yet they still threatened to topple over onto him. Some he had left hanging from the chains he had mounted to the ceiling, but even they had bodies beneath them, dangling feet resting against a chest, or thigh, or ass – however he had left the body to lay after tossing it unceremoniously out of his way. He had bled some, farmed others for organs, and did his absolute best to keep them alive right up until he didn't need them. But, it was very safe to say that Hidan had screwed this up a few times. He wasn't a doctor or a medic-nin, so if he accidentally took the torture too far they died whether he wanted them too or not.

He surveyed the carnage and would have been smiling if not for his heaving panting breaths. He thought his lungs would burst from his chest at any moment after the exertion it took to complete this ritual. He looked down at his form partner, all covered in fresh new stitching from all the replacement organs and most importantly, his new beating hearts. The longer he stared the more annoyed he became – nothing was happening and a sudden foreign feeling of hopelessness washed over him. It had taken years of experimentation to get to this point. He was so sure that this would work that he had never considered failure an option!

He closed his eyes and dropped to his knees in an exhausted heap, still trying to gain control over his heavy breathing. He blinked wearily at the stone altar in front of his face, the same stone altar that Kakuzu's lifeless body rested on, "Well Fuck!" he cursed and fell onto his back, staring at the roof of the rotting old Jashin temple. Fatigue washed over him as he stared at the stars, their twinkling was peaking through a hole where, he was almost sure, there should have been a support beam at one point. His eyes grew impossibly heavy and he sighed, looking one last time to his partner before succumbing to sleep.

"Wake up," Hidan grunted at the sudden interruption of his slumber.

"What the fuck, Kakuzu!?" Hidan snarled, "I'm trying to sleep here for fuck's sake!" He swatted at the offending foot that continued to dig into his side.

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah, well -!" Hidan's eyes shot open, mouth frozen around unspoken profanities. Familiar green on red eyes stared down at him, and he found a wild grin begin to split across his face. "Heh…ha…HA!" Maniacal laughter spilled from his throat and he leapt to his feet in giddy excitement. "It worked!?" He pushed Kakuzu on the shoulder in wonder before jumping back and laughing again, "It fucking worked!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes as his partner fell to his knees clutching his rosary, going into a fervor of prayers thanking his god for this success. For once he didn't interrupt, after all, Jashin had given him his life back. The least he could do was allow one of them to thank him for it. It was only when Hidan's prayers seemed to be never ending that Kakuzu's already thin patience finally wore out.

"Enough! Fill me in on what I've missed," at being interrupted, Hidan turned his head with a withering glare, "It's time we got back on track," Kakuzu finished unfazed.

Hidan's glare melted into sadistic pleasure at his partner's words, "You've been dead almost a decade old-timer – shit has changed quite a bit," Hidan only smirked at Kakuzu's scowl. "All of our little friends have been ripening for their impending sacrifice."

With those words, Hidan witnessed the first real smile he had ever seen on his partner's face.

They're ALIVE. OMG!

Please review, so I will know if this story is worth continuing.