Day One:

Draco Malfoy had never been on good terms with Peeves. Sure, he enjoyed laughing at the plight of Potter and his Nimwits when ice or brooms or a suit of armor was dropped on them by a certain cackling poltergeist, but on the whole, Peeves was tacky, obnoxious, and unnecessary.

Draco had no qualms in proclaiming this loudly to anyone who would listen. Crabbe, Pansy, Snape, Dumbledore; they had all heard his anti-Peeves rant hundreds of times. So he didn't think anything of complaining once more to a crowded corridor. He hadn't thought Peeves had heard him at the time, but now, as the poltergeist screamed wildly above his bed, brandishing some colorful Muggle object, he was starting to rethink that theory.

"Unnecessary, eh?" Peeves screeched. "I think this is very necessary!" His creepy ghost-y hands pressed a button on the Muggle toy, and Draco screamed as a revolting yellow liquid squirted out into his face. Peeves cackled some more and disappeared.

"Bloody hell?!" Draco screamed.

Day 2:

Draco Malfoy had no reason to be worried about the security of his 7.5 hours of sleep tonight, because Peeve's revenge was over and Goyle, the snorer, was in the Hospital Wing puking slugs.

He applied his facial mask, told Blaise for the billionth time to "Piss off!", and climbed into bed with absolutely no hint of apprehension.

He woke up to a mouthful of cat pee.

"Peeves!"

Day 3:

Draco had complained to Snape, Dumbledore, Father, and Mummy, and was confident that someone had taken care of the issue. Nonetheless, he stayed in the Common Room late into the evening.

He finally climbed into bed well past the time that Peeves had come for the past few evenings, and if his wand was under his pillow, it was merely because he had forgotten he had it in his hand. Obviously.

The Supersoaker (that's what the Muggle 'gun' was called, Millicent informed him) materialized in front of his face long enough to drench him, and then disappeared again.

Draco was going to kill him. Really. He just needed to find out how to kill a poltergeist.

Day 6:

Draco was ready this time. He had water-proofed (well, pee-proofed) his clothing and his bed, drawn the curtains around himself, and was standing on his bed, wand out and poised.

He would wait, even if it took all night.

(He woke to a face-full of cat pee, again)

Written for the Cards Against Humanity Competition Round One. But this is like 2 days late so it ain't winnin' anything, lol. Thanks for reading!