A/N: Thank you for the awesome reviews and I apologize if I couldn't update fast. I tried rushing my writing and it would always come out not like how I wanted it. Plus, my schedules won't make it possible for me to write as often. :(
But, hey...New Chap! Now, you may read...
Cheers! :)
Chapter 16
"Super cunt! Where the fuck are you!"
Polly's panicked yell from the other line sent an immense amount of worry, panic and rush surged through Alex's body. In an instant, she felt her right-foot glued on the accelerator and her hand repeatedly pounding the car horn.
It's the rush.
It's an indescribable kind of rush. Different. Nothing like Alex felt before, but in some way, she liked it. This unexplainable feeling of bliss and hysteria that even the feeling of success in moving a huge amount of heroine across international borders or even busting long-time established cartels wouldn't compare. Hell, even sex wouldn't stand close to this unutterable sense of rush. It's a different kind of rush that she hadn't felt before but somehow she wasn't sure if she wanted to feel again.
'This is fucking stressful!'
'No! No! I won't go inside without Alex! Polly! Polly, stop these motherfuckers! I won't go without Alex! Polly! Ahhhhh!'
Alex overheard Piper wailing over the other line and suddenly her whole system was dominated by worry and dread. Her wife—she's in pain and she's scared. Alex could feel it through the phone and now she could feel herself shaking with the same awful feeling.
"Oh, my god! Seriously, super cunt! Would you hurry up!", Polly was hysterical as well. Maybe that's what you would really feel when your bestfriend eating on the seat from across of you in a restaurant in broad daylight, suddenly wail in pain because apparently, she's fucking laboring.
"I'm trying! Shit! Shit! Polly, don't you dare leave Piper's side! Stay with her, I mean it!"
"You could do better than that!"
"I-I know!", and now Alex was stammering but in this moment she didn't really care. "W-Where the fuck are you?"
"Hospital! You idiot!"
"Right!", Alex threw her phone on the passenger seat, hands on the steering wheel, eyes on the road. She made a few swift overtakes, even considered to hit the siren of the squad car (she mindlessly took since she just finished a bust in a crappy studio downtown when Polly called her and she left her truck in the station) just to get the fucking cars out of her way.
'I'm coming, Pipes! Hold on...'
"Hey...", Alex gently caressed Piper's face then lowering herself down to kiss her wife's forehead.
"Hey officer...What did I do to reward this visit?", Piper playfully quipped, smiling at the gesture, slowly opening her eyes to the view of a chuckling Alex next to her. "You're here...", she weakly said as Alex smiled at her.
"Yes...I'm here, like four hours ago...", Alex quietly chuckled when her wife furrowed her eyebrow in question.
"Four hours? I was out that long?", Piper unbelievably asked.
"Yeah...You passed out right after you gave birth...God! Pipes, you scared the hell out of me...I-I thought...I thought you're gonna...you're gonna—"
"Shhh...shhh...", Piper hushed Alex, putting effort to lift her weak hand to gently stroke her wife's worried face. "I'm here...You're here...I'm fine, Al...I'm fine...", she managed to say between labouring breaths. Alex tried to smile at her, bringing her hand to hold her wife's hand slowly caressing her face and delicately kissed it with care and emotion.
"And...And Andy...", Alex said it with so much love. Her heart flutter just by saying the name.
Her daughter's name...Their daughter's name...
Piper's eyes beamed hearing that. Something inside her suddenly came to life and she felt like her whole body immediately longed to hold the life she had just brought to the world. Brought to both their lives...Alex's and her's...
"A-Andy...", Piper couldn't contain her happiness. Her whole face was glowing, her eyes—it started to water, and she felt the urged to hold Alex. "Andy..."
Alex leaned down to hold her wife closed to her, but careful not to press her weight too much on her wife's fragile body. Her face light up as well witnessing this incredible happiness before her eyes.
'God...What did I do to deserve this...'
"Yes, babe...we got a girl...", Alex leaned back a little to see how Piper's face flashed multiple kinds of emotions in seconds.
Girl. They now have a baby girl...
They made it in a decision not to learn their baby's gender in advance, thinking it'd be an awesome surprise on the day of delivery—and they were right. What a surprise...They even made a bet on it, in which giving the other whatever they wish as the price.
"We have...we have a girl...", Alex bit her bottom lip, fighting the huge smile playing on her lips, anticipating what would Piper say next when a suggestive and excited smirk suddenly appeared on her face. "I totally won...", Piper happily chuckled.
"Yup...", Alex joined in her contagious laughter. "So, what would you want me to do my queen...", she playfully raised her chin a bit, smirking at her wife.
"First...I want to hold our baby...Where is she, Al?", Piper excitedly asked.
"Your doctor run some test...making sure there's no complications...", Piper's face instantly shifted to worry. "Hey, our baby's fine...They just wanna make sure...Since your records...", Alex's voiced trailed off.
"Oh...", Piper quietly replied understanding immediately.
"Hey, hey...Look at me...", Alex gently turned her wife's face so she could look at her. She softly smiled at her, reassuring her wife that everything's fine. "You are a brave and strong woman...well, also kinda stupid sometimes, I might add, but...", Piper playfully glared at her making Alex chuckled. "But, I'm proud of you...Pipes, you have no idea how much you make me happy right now...", she said those words with so much conviction and sincereness that eased all the worry and doubt inside of Piper. "And to be honest, I'm weirdly turned on hearing you scream my name on the operating table...", Alex grinned widely earning a playful smack on the shoulder and unbelievable look by Piper.
"Shut up! You dirty little cop!", Alex chuckled at the comment.
'Yup...fair point...'
Unfortunately, their little moment was interrupted by Alex's phone ringing. Piper's face was suddenly serious, looking at Alex's pocket then to Alex's eyes. Alex unconsciously gulped, immediately not liking the look Piper was giving her. Her phone rang a few more times before Piper averted her gaze from her.
"You should answer that...", Alex noted the coldness in Piper's voice.
"Babe...hey...", she gently reached for Piper but she refused to look at her. Alex sighed, a little irritated at the device wailing in her pocket. She deliberately shifted on her feet, taking a moment to look at Piper for a second before grabbing her phone on her pocket.
'Fuck! This better be important!'
Alex took the call not minding the caller I.D. She pressed the phone on her ear and immediately, Alex was taken back hearing the loud grunting from the other line.
'Shit!'
Alex turned her back on Piper and walked a little further across the room.
"Vause! Two words...Delivery Room!",Alex heard Nicky growled in panic through the line.
"Oh...fuck me!", she muttered stressfully. The indescribable rush ran through her body again, but this time with an equal sense of guilt and discomfort. "Couldn't be a little later?", Alex quietly said to Nicky earning another grunt from her friend.
"Yeah, like I could control this bitch's vagina, can I?", sarcastic was audible from Nicky's tone like it could even out her panic. "Get your ass in here, Vause! Seriously! I'm done playing housewife! This is some shit!"
Alex thinned her lips and closed her eyes tightly, preventing herself to snarl at Nicky. "Listen...my...my wife, just gave birth..."
There was a paused from the other line. "Huh...", she could imagine Nicky's surprise. "Well, that makes sense...Odd coincidence, knowing they were pregnant almost at the same time as well...", she could hear the amusement in Nicky's voice.
'God! What did I get myself into!' Alex internally cursed to herself, feeling Piper's intense gaze on her back.
Another interruption came by someone knocking on the door. Alex swiftly turned her head to the door when a giddy face of Polly poked in. Alex averted her look on Piper finding her smiled in relief seeing her bestfriend.
"Hey...Guess who I brought here...", Polly excitedly said, bouncing a look at the both of them. Alex saw Piper's smile widened as Polly entered the room followed by a nurse holding their little one wrapped in white cloth.
"Oh, my god...Oh my god...", Alex saw Piper's eyes instantly tear up in pure happiness and excitement, welcoming their baby that the nurse gently placed beside her. Piper held their beautiful creation closely to her and leaned down to plant a sweet and gentle kiss on the top of their baby's delicate head. "My...My baby...", Alex turned her body fully towards her wife's bed and smiled widely witnessing the breathtaking scene in front of her.
'This is some miracle...'
"Vause! Vause, you still there?", Alex almost forgot Nicky was still on the line and her phone was still pressed on her ear.
"Yeah...", Alex weakly replied, eyes still on her wife holding the best decision they had ever agreed upon.
"You gotta make a decision, Vause...", she heard Nicky said.
'A decision...'
As if on cue, Piper slowly looked at her with her pleading eyes and something was struck in Alex's heart.
"Vause...", she heard Nicky again.
Alex looked straight on Piper's eyes.
"My price still stands...", Piper firmly said, looking at her. Alex anxiously bit her bottom lip.
"Hey, Vause..."
Alex was torn in the middle. She cautiously lifted her right foot to take a step closer to her wife's bed as Piper watched her. She could see the little quivering of Piper's lips as Alex walked closer to her. Piper's lips parted as Alex anticipated her request.
"I want you to stay..."
She put down her hand holding her phone.
Walked to her wife's bed...
Leaned down to her wife with a smile on her face...
Slowly kissing the crown of the precious being in her wife's arms...
Whispering gently on her wife's ear...
And just like that, Alex found herself making a decision...
"I will...stay..."
Alex wasn't there.
She wasn't there when Max was born. She wasn't there when she made her first step or when she pronounced her first word. Or even when she entered her first school, or when she did her first pitch. Her first game, her first homerun, or even the first time she lost her tooth on the wrong throw of the ball.
Hell, she wasn't even there to hear her first cry or her first laugh.
And she wasn't the first person her daughter saw.
Regret...Guilt...Hatred on herself...It's all Alex could feel right now, but for what?
It won't bring back those lost opportunities. It won't bring back the moments she should have been with her daughter. It won't...
Alex hit the steering wheel repeatedly, directing her anger and guilt on the poor material. Her gripped on the steering wheel tightened, diverting her emotions and the tears that were threatening to build up on her eyes. She'd been driving around the city not counting how long and not knowing where to go.
I'm the worst...I'm the worst...
Now this...The addiction.
Alex winced at the odd mixture of anger and fear that shot through her nerves.
Why? Why did she let this happened? Why did she give her daughter a reason to turn to that shit? Why?
At first, Alex thought her efforts were enough. The frequent visit, the private bonding times they shared, the long phone calls, the thoughtful presents—Alex thought it was enough to keep their bond—their connection.
The connection.
Alex gasped at the thought.
Well, it's still there. Their connection's still there. She could feel it, it wasn't broken. Never had been.
But why this? Why did she have to turn to addiction? Why did Max have to do this to herself? To Alex?
"Fuck this!", Alex grunted, trying to keep her focus on the road.
Fix it... Her mind kept on repeating. Fix it...
Alex sighed anxiously. Ofcourse, she has to fix it. She has to fix Max before everything they have, eventually become everything they had. And before the only connection they will ever establish between them was mainly founded by drugs.
Alex bitterly laughed at the thought.
Drugs huh?
How oddly ironic that most of her connections awfully started from it, and now she fearfully felt everything would end because of it.
Mistakes from the past would haunt you in the present in ways you wouldn't expect...
Right...Alex's bitter laugh ended. Now where should I go? Alex internally battled from the few choices she got in her head. Few choices...How pathetic...She immediately felt like a lost puppy, having no idea what direction she should take.
And as if an answer was sent from heaven, her phone beeped with a message. Alex eyed the device for a moment before focusing on the road again then decided to grab her phone on the passenger seat.
Pipes ❤: Where are you? Aren't you coming home?
Home...Alex's mind repeated, instantly craving for comfort. She bit her quivering lips. Oh, fuck it...
As much as she feared to face Piper right now, knowing her wife could instantly point out that something was wrong with her and not long that she would eventually blurt it out (which was the least of what she wanted right now) still, Alex found herself stepping on the gas pedal, deciding to headhome.
EmoPunkChica: Where are you? You know I hate to worry...Please call me, or at least reply back.
Max read the text message and instantly she felt herself feeling a little at ease. She eyed the teacher on the front before quickly typing a reply.
Max: Why you sweet little punk. I'm at school.
Max smiled a little at the fast reply from the Latina.
EmoPunkChica: School? Are you fucking kidding me? After the bust?
Max: You seemed surprise. Well, I'm still in high school, you know?
EmoPunkChica: Can we talk? Come to my place after balancing chemical equations...
Max chuckled at Flaca's reply. Not long that she found herself deliberating hard what to reply back. Max bit her bottom lip, hovering her fingers on the characters on her phone. Flaca's request was tempting. She could almost see herself sprawled on Flaca's huge soft mattress but Max fought the urge. She couldn't afford to get into Alex's bad side any further just because she came home late and possibly drank.
Max: I can't. And full disclosure, I'm in my history class.
EmoPunkChica: I won't keep you long. I just need to tell you something...
Max's eyebrow furrowed in curiosity as her mind worked on the possible things Flaca could say to her. She read the message again, somehow she didn't like the feeling of this 'I just need to tell you something' statement. She sighed, typing a reply to the Latina, hoping this decision won't bite her ass in some point.
Max: Whatever it is, I hope it can wait.
Alex opened the front door of the apartment and immediately, welcoming and calming waves of comfort hit her.
This is what I need...
She then looked around the apartment in search for Piper. She went upstairs to their room and instantly, the sound of the shower from their bathroom hit her ears.
She's relaxing...I hope she won't mind company...
Alex instinctively shrugged off her jacket and was half way from unbuttoning her shirt when another idea popped on her head.
"Yeah...I guess I need a drink first...", she sighed audibly, heading to the door of their room. She was at the stairs when she heard Piper called from their room.
"Babe...Is that you?"
Alex stopped for a second before proceeding to head downstairs again. "Yes, Pipes...I'll be in the kitchen..."
Alex headed straight to the fridge in search of the wanted bottle of beer. Her eyes brows furrowed when her eyes saw greeted by not even a single bottle of beer.
What the hell?
Alex closed the fridge then reached to open the cupboards, still nothing. She continued to raid the kitchen, getting more frustrated each second she came empty handed as she heard Piper cleared her throat from the door of the kitchen.
"If you're looking for the beer, I drank it all last night...", Piper sighed before scrunching her nose while muttering, "God, it's so weird saying that again...", Alex raised her eyebrows hearing her wife's comment. She looked at her wife shortly before motioning to grab the coffee pot instead. "Seriously?", Piper huffed.
Alex heard her wife unbelievably questioned her action making her turned her head to look at Piper after putting down the coffee pot on the counter. "Why?", she furrowed her eyebrow as Piper walked to the counter to sit on the stool.
"Well, apparently, your daughter did the same the moment she stepped inside the kitchen earlier...", Alex stiffened hearing Piper stressed out the word. "Really, Alex? Have you known she's been drinking?"
Well, I just learned more about her just now, Pipes...Alex fought the urged to say those words to her wife as the thoughts she made an effort to push back out her mind came emerging quickly.
Suddenly, the welcoming and calm waves enveloping their apartment were replaced by an intense feeling of discomfort and uneasiness. Alex felt Piper's gaze on her, like asking her what's wrong and Alex instantly felt the urge to sit herself on the stool across her wife to support her weakening knees.
She felt Piper's hand instinctively brought to touch her hand as Alex lifted her eyes to look at her. She saw Piper's eyes somewhat mirrored the same feeling building inside of her.
Worry, fear, burdened, guilt...regret...
Alex's eyes came face to face with her wife's blue orbs and suddenly, she felt her heart caught up on her throat.
She couldn't say it. She shouldn't say it. Piper don't need to know about Max. She don't.
"Babe...what's wrong?", Piper softly asked. "W-What happen? I-Is Andy—"
"She's fine...She's fine, Pipes...", Alex cut her off, like telling Piper that she need not to hear her questioned her more.
"Then...Then why are so...tensed? H-Have she known? Have she known about Max?", Piper carefully asked as Alex furrowed her eyebrow again.
"W-What did she have to know about Max?", Alex blurted out the question like she's demanding a quick answer from Piper of what she meant. Then Alex tensed more still looking at now Piper's wavering eyes.
What the hell? Did she know about it? Have she known about the cocaine?
"What do mean?", Alex found herself asking, not liking the feeling of suspicion and underlying betrayal that's creeping up her body. "What the hell do you mean, Piper?", she asked again, voice raised a little and withdrawing her hand from Piper's hold when she didn't answer.
"Alex! Calm down...", Piper tried to reach her hand again but Alex abruptly pulled away. Piper was surprised by the action and leaned back a little when she saw the intense look from Alex's eyes. "Jesus, Al. What's wrong with you?"
"No! Tell me, what's wrong with you...", Piper was taken aback by the tone. She carefully looked at Alex before speaking.
"Fine!", she paused, shortly biting her lip before continuing. "I'm asking you if my daughter has any idea that you just brought in your daughter in our fucking apartment the other night!", Piper said through gritted teeth.
Alex just stared at her wife, blinking away the awful feeling she just felt before letting out a simple, "Oh..."
"Yes...that's what I meant...", Alex averted her sorry eyes. "Seriously, Al...What's got into you?"
Alex didn't answer. She just brought her hands on her head as if shielding herself from the question asked to her. Piper didn't push on either. She just sat there, looking at her wife who at the moment was bothered again by something she had no idea.
An immense feeling of worry and fear shot through Piper's nerves and she found the situation a little familiar.
What is she hiding from me this time? Piper pushed down the thought when another intense feeling run through her.
Guilt...
Piper bit her lip at the feeling that hit her. Actually, you're the one hiding something from her now, asshole...Her mind threw her that fact.
"Alex...", Piper softly called her wife's attention. She brought her hand to reach Alex's hand (that was still covering her head) and was relieved Alex didn't pull away this time. She slowly rubbed circles on Alex's palm sending an immediate comfort through Alex's nerves. Piper then stood up from the stool and walked to stand next to her wife's stool as Alex turned her body to face her.
"Pipes...I-I..." Piper hushed her by putting both her hands on each side of Alex's face. Alex raised her eyes to look at Piper. She put down her guard and her lips quivered.
"Hey...Hey...", Piper gently cooed. "Whatever it is...we'll get through it, alright? We'll get through it...together...", that's the reassurance Alex needed. And the soft and gently kiss from Piper was the sealing promise.
Alex kissed back, instantly feeling herself aching this much needed affection. She held the back of Piper's neck bringing her wife closer to her.
Piper was surprised at first by the sudden forwardness of her wife. She almost pulled away when Alex tugged on her shirt, pulling her body closer. She felt Alex gripped on her lower back, and she moaned when Alex's tongue touched her lower lip. A sudden rush of heat run through her as Piper complied almost immediately moving to sit on Alex's lap as Alex turned her body to lean her back on the counter to support the added weight on her body.
Alex smiled at the kiss. She touched every inch of Piper's body. Her face, her neck, her collarbone, her shoulder, down to the valley of her lovely breast, her still toned abs and finally letting her hand rest on Piper's lower back to keep her closer to her body as possible. The heat from the kiss ignited the incredible feeling of want and passion they both didn't know they kept hidden throughout their fight.
Alex felt the immediate comfort rushed through her body. It's the feeling Piper never failed to give her every damn time she touched any part of her. It's enticing; it's all sort of amazing, almost surreal and unexplainable how her wife could put all her worries and fear aside just by a simple touch of her lips on her.
And just like that, the burdened and trouble inside of her was suddenly lifted off. Just like that, Alex was lost in a quick fantasy Piper had wrapped her into. Just like her mind was high on ecstasy.
Ecstasy that was her wife...
Then it got heated...It got almost impossible to stop and Alex wanted more. She wanted more...She way half way through ripping Piper's shirt when her phone vibrated on her jean's front pocket making Piper squirmed on her lap in surprise.
"Al...", Piper breathless whispered.
"Let it be...", Alex mindlessly replied bringing Piper's lips on her again. Piper kissed back for a moment before pulling back yet again resting her head on Alex's shoulder, catching her breath. Alex turned her head to place open mouthed kisses on Piper's exposed neck, bringing her hand to caress Piper's smooth and fiery skin underneath her shirt. Piper moaned at Alex's lips on her neck, clawing Alex's back in pure pleasure as she almost let herself lose control.
Almost...
"Al...it might be important...", Piper fought every inch of her body to give in completely when Alex's hand roamed to cup her firm ass.
"Not important as you...", she felt Alex's hot breath on her ears and Piper instantly shivered.
"P-Please...Al...", it's getting harder to talk and Piper wasn't even sure why she's kept pushing Alex to check who the fuck messaged her on her phone. She just suddenly felt it's important...
"Pipes...It could wait...", Alex brought her hand to cup Piper's breast making Piper slightly parted her lips, moaning loudly. "C'mon, tell me what you want me to do right now..."
Piper shut her eyes tightly, pulling up all the sense of control she could gather and opening her lips to say it again. "I want...you...to check your phone..."
Alex leaned back, focusing her eyes on Piper, questioning her unbelievable request. Piper kept her face as serious and as firm as she could to tell Alex that she's really serious about it. "No, your eyes are telling something else..."
"Al...", Alex thinned her lips in frustration as she looked away from Piper.
"Fine! Jesus...", Piper nodded her head once, glad that Alex complied but a little disappointed at herself for even asking such stupid request. Piper sighed a little but was suddenly surprised when Alex playfully sneaked a peck on her lips.
"Alex!", Piper almost whined.
"Yes! Yes! God, Pipes...", Alex gave her a look. "You cockblocker..."
"That's gross...", Piper smacked her arm.
"Ok! Ok!", Alex surrendered, sighing loudly in frustration. "Would you mind?", she motioned for Piper to get off of her lap since her thighs were tightly wrapped on her's and it's making it difficult to get her phone on her jean's front pocket.
"Ah...right...", Piper quickly get off of her as Alex grumpily took her phone, preparing herself to slit the throat of the person who interrupted them, but instead, Alex's eyes went wide and her face instantly flashed worry.
Piper confusedly looked at her wife as Alex abruptly stood from the stool turning her back to Piper and clenching her jaw.
"Who's that?", before Alex could pull away her hand, Piper had already managed to snatch her phone. She read the message as her eyes mimicked Alex's awhile ago.
Andy: Finally out from the dungeon of doom! Something came up and we got an early dismissal from school! I'll make sure to drag Max straight home with me...You still need to talk to her, Al...And stay mom out of it! I'm serious!Love you, Al :)
"What the hell is this Alex! What the fuck did Andy know?", Piper immediately questioned her edgily throwing her arms in the air in sheer confusion and exasperation.
Alex frustratedly sighed in defeat.
Leave it to Andy to send an awfully loaded text message...
A/N: Comments? Suggestions?
Next chapter will be Alex and Max's confrontation. I know you've been anticipating that one...I just want some emotions to build up before that scene... :)