Do you ever feel that thrill running down your spine as you look around at the people around you?

A sly grin naturally just slips onto your face.

You feel tall as you look at everyone beneath you. They scurry around, so concentrated on what's down there with them instead of looking up and noticing you. But they'll eventually notice you when they realize you're the puppet master controlling all their strings. You twist the ones you want, and snip the ones that you hate.

They're just ants.

They follow what they think is their own flow back to the colony that is their life, but in reality you can poke the line as much as you want. The disturbance ripples through the line, shifting every ant around them as well.

You get annoyed sometimes. You flick the ones that get a little too close to your feet away, and smash the ones that stray from their paths.

But the more importantly, you control the tides. They might believe that they have their own fate and path as they follow in shifting lines back to the colonies, but you know the truth.

You have the power to control every single one of them.

"Why can't you be more like Mikasa?" Carla Yeager yells angrily, her fingers crinkling the edges of his last report card. Eren watches as the lines of the D's and C's change into beautiful broken lines.

"I'll focus more this year-I swear this time Mo-"

But she's already turned around to greet Mikasa, who's at the door. Mikasa, who has just come home from karate lessons that Carla and Grisha had lovingly signed her up for. Anything for their baby girl, they said.

Mikasa just stares back with cold, dead eyes. These are the eyes that perturb Eren, even though Carla and Grisha cannot see past them for the broken girl that she is. All they see is the calm, collected, and perfect daughter that they adopted. The opposite of Eren.

"Can I see your report card, Mikasa?" Carla asks kindly, while running her hands through Mikasa's lush hair affectionately.

Wordlessly, Mikasa hands Carla the paper. She receives the praise that Carla gushes to her with apathetic disinterest, and stares at Eren instead.

He turns around to head upstairs, not wanting to find out if it was a smirk or a sympathetic smile that was forming on her lips.

"Armin's really smart," Grisha remarked, looking up from the school district's newspaper. "He won the middle school science fair project for a generator he modified."

Eren curled his lip, not wanted to meet the eyes of a disappointed father. Even without the words being spoken, he could almost hear his father's thoughts.

Why couldn't you be born as smart as Armin?

"I'm surprised he's your friend. Maybe I could talk to his grandfather about some possible tutoring for Eren? He probably has references, or maybe even Armin could help him afterschool," Grisha continued, now talking to Carla. Carla nods thoughtfully, looking down at Eren.

Tears of shame want to slide down Eren's cheek, but he wants to deny the satisfaction of crying in front of his parents. They were too used to Mikasa's lack of emotion to be approving of crying. Weak, is what they would think of him.

Armin is his best friend, but Eren doesn't hang out with him because he's smart. They both have wild dreams together, dreaming up imaginary worlds and playing in fake quests and adventures together. He doesn't want to think about it, but he feels the inkling of doubt. Armin probably thinks he's as stupid as his parents think he is.

Eren claps halfheartedly when Mikasa holds up her trophy, knowing his parents were too preoccupied basking in her glory to notice his lack of interest. Mikasa has what passes as a smile on her face as Carla and Grisha take out the camera to photograph her.

"Eren, come here," Carla calls out, noticing him sitting still by the stands. Eren obediently walks over, his hands gripping the frayed ends of his sweater. Carla and Grisha are on either side of Mikasa, their perfect white teeth already showing. Eren starts to walk over to join them in what he thinks is a family picture, but is stopped short by Grisha handing him the camera.

"Just press the circle on the top," he says a little distractedly, fixing Mikasa's hair. Eren scowls, since he's not young enough to not know how to work a camera.

"I can take a picture for you if you like," a kind stranger next to them says, hand outstretched. Eren shows his stubborn side, shaking his head. "I got it," he answers curtly, snapping pictures of his family.

When they go home that night, Eren lies in his own bedroom, hearing Carla and Grisha look excitedly over the pictures that they took of the karate competition. He turns over and tries to block out the sound, knowing that these pictures will go in the family photo album filled with Mikasa's competitions and Eren accompanying Armin to science fairs and awards.

"It's ok, son. Sports were never my thing," Grisha says in a positive tone, but Eren's certain that there's a disappointed undertone in it somewhere. He's become better at reading through his parents. Even if a JV high school baseball game wasn't something Grisha particularly liked, he was probably just disappointed that Eren never got any awards or even home runs.

"Yeah, but they seem to be Mikasa's. You know, since she's not really related," Eren mumbles. Grisha looks a little annoyed; now spouting off nonsense that Mikasa is actually part of the family and that Eren should be nicer and treat her as such. Eren tunes him out after a while, using his attention to look at the small scrape he received from the game. He'll wash it out when he gets home. He's learned to not bother his parents with such trivial matters. Mikasa is never in pain. Mikasa never gets injured in fights or in sports because she's better than him.

Carla slams the car door after Eren gets in and turns the keys in the ignition angrily. She had to come to school early and would have to pick up Mikasa later. Eren messed up her schedule.

"This is the third time your freshmen year that you've been sent to the office Eren," she starts, focusing most of her attention on the road. "The first time was for cheating, the others were for fights, and now you had another fight?"

Eren cleared his throat to reply back, to explain why he was fighting, but Carla just continued to rant on. After a while, Eren just ignored her, and picked at his new scrapes and cuts. She didn't care, he thought. He could have fought out of self-defense and she wouldn't care. He didn't even want to show her his new blemishes that overlapped the older scars, since she would just scold him more.

When he first got sent to the principal's office, he felt a tiny bit of self-satisfaction when Carla had rushed in. She had skipped her usual grocery shopping and errands to pay attention to him, he thought. He braced himself against her scolding, telling himself that the attention he got was worth it in the end. He had cheated because he didn't want to bring home yet another failed test. He didn't want to look stupid in front of Armin either.

But then the incidences escalated. Soon Eren was even picking fights to cause trouble. It didn't matter who it was that he fought. In fact, the bigger the better, he figured when the upperclassman punched him brutally in the face. The bigger the marks left, then maybe the more attention his parents would give him. Maybe if he got a black eye then they would coo over him like Mikasa.

The black eye just gave him a bigger scolding to stop picking fights. The fight today was different, he mused. He had gotten into an argument with Armin, who was tired of Eren's carelessness and fighting. Eren had put a target over himself for all the high school bullies, inviting them for fights. Armin didn't want to be involved, and recently started spending time with other academically oriented high schoolers. Eren was so upset that his childhood friend had dissed him that he was seeing red as he punched yet another upperclassman who had challenged him.

"Have fun!" Carla called out to Mikasa, who waved as she ran out of door. Mikasa was hanging out with her karate club friends that night.

"Will you be home for dinner?" Grisha asked Eren, who was watching TV in the living room.

"Yeah," he responded, biting back the snarky reply that he never hung out with his friends because wait-oops- he didn't really have any.

Carla and Grisha exchanged a look, knowing that Eren was lonelier than he tried to appear.

"Maybe you should take him out to see a baseball game or something," Carla whispered to Grisha, who shook his head.

"I don't even like baseball. He's thinking of quitting it anyway, since he says that he doesn't care for any of his teammates," Grisha whispered back.

Maybe it didn't help that one of the upperclassmen that Eren had gotten into a fight with was the baseball team captain. Ever since then, Eren was picked on to clean up after games and fetch water for the upperclassmen whenever they felt like it.

"He hardly hangs out with Armin anymore…that's expected, since they have totally different interests," Carla said thoughtfully.

"He'll have to tough up or change for the rest of high school. He's too headstrong and bold, so it's hard to him to find people who like him. I just don't get why he always seems to push people away," Grisha replied.

Neither of them noticed that Eren had gradually turned up the volume to a level where he couldn't hear them talking about him.

"I'm going out to the park to play some ball with the guys," Eren called out, already out of the door. He didn't bother to wait for a reply back from his parents. While his parents at first were concerned about his lacking social life, now it seemed like they had forgotten him again. It was expected, since Mikasa was preparing for a national karate competition.

However, Eren walked past the neighborhood park and continued down the sidewalk towards the popular shopping mall. He checked his wallet to make sure he had some money. His parents were reluctant to give him spending money, as he never did anything useful, so he had found a job at a local fast food chain on weekends instead.

Pathetic, is what he thought of himself as he sat alone on a table in the food court. He drummed his fingers on the table as he mindlessly ate more french fries.

Instead of playing basketball with "friends", Eren usually just hung out somewhere else instead by himself. Crowded places usually worked the best, since no one would bother giving him a second glance. His eyes stared hungrily, absorbing other people interacting with each other.

It was already his senior year, and nothing had really changed. Armin was as distant as ever, hanging out with the brainiacs. He probably would end up with some scholarship to a prestigious college anyways, so Eren figured it wasn't meant to be. Mikasa was as intimidating as ever, hanging out with the popular sports crowd. While Carla and Grisha had their experiences as a parent of a high schooler by fawning over Mikasa's prom and school elections, they were disheartened by Eren's lack of high school experiences. He never went to any school events or dances, they complained.

It wasn't like he would find a date anyways. Being a loner was already one social no-no, but being unattractive was another. Since he never had any physical activity after quitting baseball, and since he was just pretending to play basketball, Eren had gained some weight over the years. While he wasn't obese or chubby, he definitely didn't have the muscle that girls desired. Eating out almost every night to avoid staying at home was probably another factor. He preferred his long, messy hair anyways, not wanting to meet the eyes of disappointed parents.

He almost laughed when his parents always commented about how beautiful Mikasa was. Mikasa, while not very interested in dating, always had guys ask her out. His parents couldn't produce anyone good looking, Eren as an example, but their adopted daughter was gorgeous.

Looking at his cheap phone that he paid for himself, since he didn't really need a fancy phone like the one that his parents gave Mikasa since no one contacted him, he noticed that it was approaching 10:00. Eren left the shopping mall and took the back alleyway, not really in the mood to bump into or deal with people.

Passing by an alleyway, he paused in his steps and backtracked. A whiny voice was whimpering out, while a larger man was grunting as he kicked the horizontal figure.

"Hey!" Eren called out, running slowly to the scene. The mugger panicked and ran to the other exit of the alley. Eren shrugged; he probably could have taken him in a fight because of his extensive fighting experience.

"Are you okay?" Eren said curtly, extending a hand. He didn't even bother to fake a kind tone. The whimpering figure was a scrawny blonde kid that reminded him of Armin.

"Y-yes. Thank you v-very much," the teen replied, coughing a bit as Eren helped him up. "You saved my life, honestly."

While part of Eren's being lit up with the praise, something in him focused on the annoying teen's voice. Somehow, he felt ticked off. Maybe it was because of his previous bad mood, or maybe Eren was just tired of life's shittiness.

"You need to be more careful, asshole. You're wasting everybody's time, and your voice is kinda pissing me off," Eren drawled, picking at his nails.

Eren reveled in the shocked expression of the kid he just saved. "Fucking learn to protect yourself, or stuff like this-" Eren slammed the kids face against the dumpster "-could happen."

The kid slid down to the ground, unconscious, and Eren let out a tch when he saw the blood running down his forehead. At this point he honestly just wanted to go home, even to his apathetic parents, so he just dumped the kid in the dumpster.

"Eren, you forgot to do your chores again," was the first thing his mom called out while washing dishes when he opened the door. He sighed and stepped into the kitchen to take out the trash, noticing his mom washing the dishes. If he could recall, Mikasa's chore was to wash the dishes, but she was probably hanging out.

"I'll take out the trash," he said, going outside to the trash can. "Even though I already kinda did."

"We're so proud of you!" Grisha laughed heartily, congratulating Mikasa. Carla had just cooked an amazing dinner to celebrate Mikasa's acceptance into Sina University, one of the best. She had won a scholarship after being recruited to join their karate team.

Eren picked at his food, apologizing half-heartedly when Carla told him to stop playing with his food. "I got into Trost," he murmered.

Sina University was a top 10 private college, but Trost was still ranked in the top 50 public colleges in the country. That should probably impress his parents even a tiny bit, he thought.

"Ah, that's…good? Did you apply for any scholarships?" Grisha asked, and Eren furrowed his brows at how his father cared more about the finances than his actual acceptance.

"I got a partial one to cover some of the dorm costs, but I think I'll be fine. Trost is public and doesn't cost that much, and I have more than a couple thousand saved up from my job. I'll be working while attending anyways," Eren replied, already going to put his plates away.

Eren washed his dishes as he heard his parents talk to Mikasa about their college days. Grisha had gone to Sina himself for their medical program, while Carla had majored in nursing in Stohess College.

He couldn't wait to leave here, he realized. He grit his teeth as he heard Carla's light laugh, Grisha's deep one, and Mikasa's slight "I'm changing my breathing pattern" laugh.

He was done with being just Eren. Over his high school years, he had been completely outshone by Mikasa and even Armin to some extent. His parent's disappointment was almost palpable, since he never won anything or was popular like Mikasa was. He was just so tired to being compared to Mikasa, who was someone that the Yeager family had adopted. How could his parents prefer her over their own flesh and blood son?

After he finished washing dishes, he walked past his family to go upstairs to his room. His parents were too busy having fun with Mikasa at the dinner table anyways.

He sank down into his bed, his heavy figure making his cheap bed creak. His room was sparse and a little messy because his mother had long given up on him to be as clean as Mikasa. He looked around, frowning at the pile of yearbooks that he put on his cluttered bookshelf that didn't have any signatures. His bookshelf was full of prep books that his parents bought him his freshman year, and some books that Armin had tried to make him read. It was full of dust.

Just looking at the bookshelf made his throat dry and he felt the lump in his throat as he tried to swallow.

"Fuck this shit. Why do I want to cry over something stupid like this? I really am weak," he whispered, wiping his face with his hand. He got up to look at the dusty mirror that he had long avoided.

"And I look like I belong in a hole somewhere. God, no wonder people always question if I'm really Mikasa's brother. It's like she's the fucking princess and I'm a servant," he said, clenching his fist.

Fuck all of this. Fuck his life. He was always so full of rage from his discontent in life, and he couldn't contain it just by picking fights anymore.

The only time he felt good or even normal was when he actually got attention and had people praise him. But when did he ever get praise? It was always Mikasa and Armin who got it. They had control over their family, but Eren couldn't even get his parents to be happy about his college choice.

He could do it. He would show them all that Eren from shadows is the one they really needed to look out for after all. They would regret ignoring him up until high school, and thinking of Mikasa as better than him.

He would get so many friends in college that he'd make Mikasa jealous. He'd get good grades in classes like Armin, even if it meant manipulating other people to get what he wanted. He'll control everyone around him because they can't just ignore him anymore. If they ignored him any longer, he didn't know how long it'd be until he cracked.

He'd overshadow those around him until they'd have to look up to him to do anything. He'd get all the power and attention; he'd get followers that couldn't even make their own decisions without their leader's approval.

He gave a small chuckle, his previous sobs melting into dry laughs. He remembered the scrawny blonde's face as he revealed his true self. It was exhilarating to see his face change into shock as he realized that he was tricked, that his savior was actually a brutal man as well. What would everyone's faces look like when they realize that he's been lying this whole time? Or to have him be Mr. Popular and be kind and helpful, but actually trash-talk them on the side?

He'd find a way to make everyone like him, and then he'd drop them and forget them like how he was. He'd control their emotions strung on puppet strings until he snaps them when he reveals the puppet master's painted grin.

AN:

Yaay another SnK fanfic! This is also posted on AO3 under shortleviathan. I'll keep updating this and Seeing in Red, and as you can tell, they're darker takes on Eren. I hope you enjoy my new writing style and please leave reviews about this story! I have around 15 chapters of about this length that I want for this.