WARNINGS: Graphic sex between males, slight cursing, and awkwardness.

An Awkward First Time

X

Allen pulled away from Kanda momentarily, still seated in his lap, and he blushed. "Kanda?"

Kanda began to nibble on his partner's neck as he muttered, "Get on with it, whatever 'it' is."

Allen couldn't form words while Kanda sucked on his tender flesh, and after a moment, he pushed the older male away completely. "Do you want to go…all the way…with me…tonight…?"

"Where did that come from?" Kanda asked, supporting himself with his hands behind him.

"I mean, I wasn't sure if you wanted to…" Allen said quietly. When Kanda didn't reply, he took that as a bad sign and said, "I'm sorry. Never mind, it was just nonsense!"

Damn, he feels like a fool right now. It was bad enough that he asked at all, but for Kanda to just not reply was beyond mortifying. He'd been waiting for the right time, because who was he kidding? He wanted to have sex with Kanda. They'd been dating for nearly a year now, but Allen had never mentioned it. It seemed like such a girly thing to ask. Men were supposed to just do it, but that didn't seem right.

Suddenly, Allen finds himself on his back with a certain dark-haired man looming over him and he stutters, "K-Kanda?"

"Baka Moyashi," Kanda says as if it was the answer to every question going through Allen's head before he kisses him. The younger didn't mind. Nope, not one bit.

"Is that a yes?" Allen asked hopefully. Kanda rolled his eyes at how cute the boy could be at times. "Yes."

Allen smiled and flipped the two of them over, much to his partner's aggravation. He knew Kanda hated not having control. "If we're going to do this, you're going to have to loosen the ropes a little."

"Are you implying I'm a control-freak?"

"No, but you know you don't like it when I act dominant."

"And you know, too."

"That I do."

Kanda doesn't reply, and Allen takes the opportunity to press their lips together. Of course, who could deny Allen's not so innocent innocence? Kanda smirks and reciprocates the kiss while he slips his arms around his partner's waist, and said partner purrs, opening his mouth. The older of the two slips his tongue in Allen's mouth, and their tongues begin to fight for dominance, though Kanda gets bored and decides to explore outside of Allen's mouth. He flips them again, holding Allen's hands above his head as he kisses along the boy's jaw.

Allen shivers when Kanda begins to unbutton his shirt, a blush spreading over his cheeks, and Kanda glances at him. "What's wrong with you?"

"N-nothing!" he says too quickly. The dark-haired male rolled his eyes. While it's true Allen could be dominant and sexy, Kanda has found it only happens after he's had experience with something. It was also true they were both virgins, which is why they waited, and Kanda knew Allen was going to be very shy showing his body, especially with as ugly as he thinks himself to be.

Instead of taking off his partner's shirt, Kanda removes his gloves first and tosses them off the bed before he gingerly takes Allen's left hand and kisses the black skin. Allen freezes when he realizes Kanda's trying to make him comfortable and smiles faintly.

When Kanda pulls away, Allen reaches for the hem of the man's muscle shirt, toying with it, and Kanda gets the message and lets the boy try to pull the shirt over his head, emphasis on try. Allen tried so hard not to touch Kanda, but with as formfitting as muscle shirts are, he was going to have to slide his hands along the samurai's arms. With a very prominent blush, Allen finally got the fabric off Kanda, who was nearly laughing, but he tried to hold it in so he wouldn't embarrass the younger male. Kanda, despite what he says, likes it when Allen takes control, though it sometimes depends on the goal. If it's for pleasure, then have at it. If it's just to make him submissive, Allen's getting his ass beat. But Allen has never done something like that, and Kanda doubts he ever will.

Allen doesn't really know what to do with the shirt. Should he fold it? It seemed like a mood-killer though. But then again, would Kanda get mad if he just tossed it to the ground? Kanda must have sensed his Moyashi's distress and took the shirt, dropping it beside the bed. Allen looked at it as if it held the answer to the impossible algebra question on the final exams he'd never had, but Kanda was not in the mood for algebra and attacked his partner's collarbone.

Allen fell back onto the pillows again with Kanda's lips attached to his skin and groaned quietly when the mouth began to suck on the flesh furiously, almost to the point that it stung, but he didn't care. His arms wrapped around the other male's neck and pulled out the hair tie, much to said other male's irritation, but he let it slide since it made Allen happy.

Kanda worked his way down Allen's chest, kissing the heated skin gently, and he stopped at one of the boy's nipples. In all truth, he didn't know how his partner would react. What if he didn't like it?

Allen could see that Kanda was zoned out in his own little world while he stared at the nipple, and his breath was really turning on Allen. Instead of saying anything, the younger lightly pushed Kanda's head down, but it ended with his nose touching the bud in place of his tongue.

Kanda didn't need further confirmation and ran his tongue over Allen's nipple, eliciting a squeak, and Allen's legs wrapped around his partner's waist. Taking the opportunity while working his mouth, Kanda presses his hips down and grinds his clothed arousal against Allen's, and they both moan, Allen more than his older counterpart because said counterpart's moan sent vibrations along his nerves.

Once Kanda's satisfied with Allen's reaction, he nips the bud one last time before he begins to move south, kissing his partner's abs and dipping his tongue into his navel, but when his chin hits Allen's jeans and he moves his hand to unbutton them, the owner of the pants moves away, unhooking his legs. Kanda raised an eyebrow at the blushing boy, who was avoiding eye contact. "Is there a problem?"

Allen shakes his head silently.

"Then what?"

Allen looked down as he crawled back towards Kanda, and after a moment of hesitation, he pulled at the man's jeans. "I…I want to make…you feel good, too…."

Kanda smirks and stands, momentarily freaking out Allen, who still was the color of a strawberry, but he quickly relaxed when Kanda took off his jeans…and underwear.

Allen stared at Kanda's length wide-eyed as he sat down on the bed again. The thing was huge! And the longer he looked, the more fear welled inside him. That won't fit inside me! It'll hurt so much!

As much as he hated to admit it, Kanda felt self-conscious under Allen's extremely attentive gaze, and despite himself, he clamped his legs together, looking away. That snapped Allen back to reality, and he quickly realized how rude he had been.

"I'm sorry, Kanda," he said and gently pried his partner's legs apart, but it took a moment for Kanda to allow it. When he did though, Allen settled between them, struggling to avoid the hardness poking his stomach, and he tried not to let his hips touch Kanda's while he kisses the samurai's cheek softly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Kanda snapped, "I wasn't uncomfortable! My junk was getting cold!"

Allen just laughed at him, his head falling to rest in the crook of Kanda's shoulder, and Kanda growled, "Weren't you going to suck me off?"

The boy froze at the wording, but then he nodded. He moved down Kanda's stomach, kissing the skin gently, and he gulped when he got to the man's erection, standing proud and tall. What was he supposed to do? He wasn't educated in oral sex, or sex period when it was between men, because Cross had only talked about women. How to stimulate their g-spots and the quickest ways to make them orgasm. There was a big difference between women and men, and it was becoming apparent to Allen that he had no clue what he was doing. What if I do something wrong? Kanda will think I'm incapable of sex and breakup with me!

Kanda doesn't say anything. He could see how nervous his Moyashi was, but as much as he wanted Allen's mouth on his member, he didn't push. If Allen didn't want to do this, any of it, he wasn't going to force him.

Allen wrapped a hand around the base and gave the tip a lick. Kanda gasped, and taking this as a good sign, he did it again, but this time, he delved his tongue into the slit, tasting Kanda's pre-cum. Kanda grabbed the sheets in a death grip.

Allen took the head into his mouth, sucking on it harshly before he slipped as much as he could in, the tip touching the back of his throat, and he struggled not to gag. Suddenly, a hand on the back of his head forces him down, and he resurfaces, coughing and rubbing his throat. He glances up to find a mortified Kanda looking away. It made Allen harder to think Kanda wanted him so badly, and he quickly resumes his duty. He finds Kanda is very jerky and has a tendency to buck his hips a lot, but Allen lets him for a while before the boy uses one arm to hold down the man's hips and continues pleasuring him himself.

Allen also learned that Kanda likes it when he swallows, and moans began to spill from his partner's mouth. It becomes so much that after a minute of Kanda's vocals, Allen snakes a hand into his unbearably tight pants and strokes himself.

"M-Moyashi…damn it, I-I'm going to―AHH!"

Allen, not expecting Kanda's release, ended up with cum covering his face since he couldn't swallow it all. Embarrassed, he licked his lips, more of the deliciously bitter substance getting on his tongue, and Kanda stared at him, his member beginning to swell with blood again because his Moyashi was licking his cum off his face.

"Kanda, can you help me?" he asked innocently, struggling to lick a bit of cum off his nose. The samurai gulps and licks Allen's nose before he continues over the boy's entire face, lapping all his cum off his partner's skin. When Kanda was done, Allen presses their lips together, surprising the older one slightly, but Allen doesn't care, opening his mouth.

When they break apart, Allen asked, "Was I good?"

Kanda stops for a moment, not sure how to answer the question. Did his innocent, little Moyashi just ask if he had given a good blowjob? What kind of question is that?!

Allen took Kanda's silence as a bad sign and looked down with a whimper. "I-I'll try harder. I promise!"

"No, I didn't…" Kanda trails off. The younger glanced at him, waiting for his answer, and he continues, "It wasn't bad. It felt amazing. You must have raw talent."

Allen beams and jumps at Kanda, tackling him, but when they hit the bed, their heads knocked together. The boy rubbed his forehead. "Sorry."

"Damn, you have a hard head, Moyashi," Kanda mutters.

Allen whimpers, but he brightens when his partner kisses his cheek. Kanda flipped them over so he was on top. "You can stand some pain, right?"

Allen paused, eyes wide. "Pain?"

"Sex is painful for the receiver at first."

"Isn't there a way around it?"

"Yeah, not having sex."

The white-haired boy whimpered and looked down, but Kanda gently moved his chin back up and whispered, "You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

"B-but I want to!"

After a moment, Kanda offers, "If it'll make you feel better, you can top."

"But then you'll be in pain!"

"We aren't getting anywhere."

"I know that, BaKanda!" Allen mumbles. Kanda threads his fingers through Allen's. "If you want to try, we can. If you don't, we don't have to. If you decide somewhere along the way that it's uncomfortable or too painful, I'll stop. I promise."

After a moment, Allen nods and stands to take off his jeans and underwear, his back to Kanda the whole time, but the samurai doesn't mention it. When he gets back on the bed, his legs are clamped shut, nearly shaking from the pressure. Kanda raises an eyebrow at him, lying on his side next to him. "I'm not going to castrate you."

"I-I know…" Allen trails off, his hands fumbling together. An arm wraps around his stomach and lips press against his cheek. "You're beautiful, Allen. Don't think that you aren't."

The boy smiled, and when Kanda moved his hand to his legs, he willingly opened them. Allen didn't know when Kanda had slicked his fingers with oil, but whatever the case, they were covered with it now. Allen shivered as one of Kanda's fingers circled his entrance, and his partner glanced at him, silently asking for permission. Allen nods.

He couldn't say it didn't feel weird. It felt very, very weird, but it wasn't painful. After a minute of thrusting one finger into Allen, Kanda added the second and watched for any signs of discomfort. Allen's face scrunched up. That stung. A lot. Kanda kissed his cheek. "Are you okay?"

Allen nodded. "I'm fine."

Then Kanda hit something. The boy's eyes flashed open as he moaned in pleasure and began to push down on the digits, trying to get them deeper. The older male took this as a good sign and slipped in the last finger. Allen only felt a dull pain because pleasure coursed through him every time Kanda hit that bundle of nerves.

"M-more…Kanda…" Allen whimpered and dug his nails into the sheets. Kanda smirked and pulled his fingers out. The younger male clamped down on the sudden emptiness before he glared at his partner. "What was that for?"

Kanda rolled his eyes and positioned himself between Allen's legs. "You do want to actually have sex at some point, right? Or do you just want me to watch you?"

Allen blushed, but said nothing. He felt something a lot bigger than three fingers pressed against his entrance, and his body tensed. Noticing this, Kanda leaned forward and kissed the boy's temple. "Just relax. It'll be easier that way."

After Allen unclenched his muscles, the older male pushed the head of his member into the waiting body before he slowly continued. Allen bit his lip so he wouldn't scream from the pain, and Kanda kissed the tears from his eyes in an attempt to comfort him. Kanda couldn't imagine how much pain the boy must be in, but it was hard for him to focus on that when such a tight heat was surrounding him.

By the time he sheathed himself in Allen, both males were panting, but for two different reasons. Kanda held himself over his partner and asked through his short breaths, "Are you…alright?"

Allen remained silent. Instead of answering, he wrapped his arms around Kanda and pulled the older male closer until their chests touched. It hurt, yes, but the contact made him feel slightly better. He wiggled his hips, and Kanda gasped. Allen could feel the samurai inside him, and it felt…weird, but the knowledge made his mind spin and erection swell, as if it could any harder.

With a heavy breath, the younger male murmured, "M…move…."

Kanda thought he couldn't have stopped his hips from moving if he wanted to. He could, however, keep them at a slow pace since Allen's face still showed his pain. Allen whimpered every time Kanda thrust, much to the latter's disappointment. He wanted his partner to feel the same pleasure he did, but it seemed impossible.

After a moment though, the white-haired boy's whimpers became moans and gasps. "F…faster…!"

Kanda himself groaned at the words and readily obliged, plunging even more deeply into Allen's body. Of course, Allen still felt a dull sting, but it was by no means unbearable. And besides, the friction felt wonderful.

Then the samurai hit a spot.

Allen's eyes flashed open, and he arched his back. "Ah! K-Kanda!"

Kanda smirked, but it soon faded as he felt himself getting close. Desperately, he pumped his partner in time with his thrusts. Allen let out a scream of ecstasy and came, his back clean off the mattress. His cum spurted in pearly ribbons onto his stomach and Kanda's hand as he fell back on the bed. Kanda continued to thrust into his partner, his rhythm nonexistent, and he had difficulty with Allen's passage tightened around him. After another moment, he groaned and pushed as deeply as he could. His cum coated the inside of Allen's body, and the boy could feel the rush of warmth.

Kanda collapsed beside his partner, spent and still fuzzy. Allen wasn't much better, but he had enough energy to curl up with his face nuzzled into Kanda's sweaty chest. "I love you."

The older male replied with a kiss on Allen's crown.

A/N: Good? Bad? Make more? Dig a hole and die? Please tell me what you think! And constructive criticism is welcomed!