Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor any recognisable characters. - Apply to every chapter, 'cause it's not likely to appear again.

AN: Er, this is AU. Will follow canon for a bit, with a few differences, but will eventually divert. If you don't like OCs, this is not the fic for you, as there are quite a lot in this story.

Regarding pairings, as I said in the summary, there are none planned as of yet. However, if I do, it will likely be NaruSasuSaku (sorry, they're my OT3 for life). For Team Seven, it's either that or no romance at all, because I'm not planning on placing Kakashi with any of my OCs.

Be nice, please?

Kakashi gazed dispassionately down at the little brats he'd been given, not saying a word. When they started showing signs of discomfort and impatience, he eye-smiled at them and clapped his hands together. "Introductions! Pinky, you go first – name, likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams or goals for the future."

The little kunoichi looked up at him with wide eyes, before glancing at the two boys that made up the rest of her team.

"We-ell, my name is Haruno Sakura, I like-" Cue giggles and blushing, with sidelong glances at the scowling Uchiha. Kakashi sighed to himself. Great. He had a fangirl as well as the object of her obsession. "I dislike Ino-pig!" This was said with a surprising vehemence. "My hobbies are reading and…" Another giggle fit. Oh wow. She counted stalking as a hobby. "And my dream for the future is…" More sideways looks and blushing. The girl's file said she had shinobi parents, but right now she was acting more like a civilian born wannabe kunoichi.

"Well that was… Informative." Kakashi drawled. He revelled in the dark flush that covered the girl's face, a mix of offended feminine fury and embarrassment. "You're up next, Duckling."

The last – loyal – Uchiha scowled even more heavily, much to Kakashi's amusement. The boy really needed to relax. Maybe a good dose of Icha Icha would loosen him up.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. My likes are few and my dislikes are many-" this said with a pointed glance in the direction of his female teammate, which she blithely ignored. "I have no hobbies, I train so that I can reach my goal, my ambition; to kill a certain man, and revive my clan."

The three males determinedly ignored the squeals of hero-worship and ecstasy that erupted from the pink haired girl. Kakashi stared thoughtfully – and not without worry – at the young avenger. The darkness and anger that the young boy was emanating was very troubling. But, that would have to wait until later; they still had to pass his test.

"Alright then, that just leaves you, Sunshine."

The blond boy who looked painfully like his dearly departed sensei grinned widely. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo! I like ramen, especially from Ichiraku. I like spending time with my neechans and the gakis, and all the others. I dislike waiting for my ramen to cook, and jiji's secretary and people who disrespect me and my neechans! My hobbies are training, pranking and, er…" A light blush darkened his cheeks, causing Kakashi's curiosity to skyrocket. Something to look into? "Well I have a lot of hobbies. My three goals, -ttebayo, are to repay the neechans for everything they've done for me, make sure my gakis all grow up and have good lives, and to become a great ninja so I can become Hokage!" The last was said in a determined shout.

Sasuke scoffed and Sakura growled, but all Kakashi could think of was a certain red-haired woman ranting about how if she couldn't be Hokage, she was 'damn well going to marry the next one, dattebane!' The boy may look like his father, but his personality was all Uzumaki.

"What about you sensei?"

Huh? Oh right. He smiled down at the spiky blond head. "Since you asked so nicely, my name is Hatake Kakashi. My likes-" he held up the infamous orange book. "Are not for the ears of children, nor are my dislikes. Hobbies… I have a lot of those. My dreams… are none of your business."

Kakashi smirked at Sasuke's face fault and Sakura's indignant shriek of "We only get his name?!" However, he was unprepared for Naruto's finger pointed accusingly at his face. "Pervert! Those are hentai books!"

Ignoring the shocked and blushing faces of the other two pre-genin and the slight surprise (alright, maybe a little pride) he felt knowing that Naruto knew what Icha Icha was, Kakashi raised a single eyebrow at his sensei's son.

"And how, Naruto-kun," he drawled lazily, "Do you know that?" An evil chuckle reverberated around his brain as he heard Sakura's enraged shouting ("Naruto-baka!"). The jinchūriki's cheeks turned red at the insinuation.

"I haven't read them, hentai-sensei! Megumi-nee told me what they are, and who wrote them! Perverted old man." Naruto scowled comically, eyes squinting and cheeks puffing up.

Kakashi laughed gently. Jiraiya tended to leave that impression on women. It seemed little Naruto was protective of his neechans' honour, whoever they were. How cute. And just as fiery as Kushina-nee.

"As much as I enjoy it, enough hentai-talk." Ah, the little genin were blushing. The joys of being a preteen. "I expect the three of you to be at training ground three at exactly seven am tomorrow morning for your final test." Wait for it…

"What!"

"But sensei!"

"Hn."

"Hm? Did you have a question?" He smirked to himself. Being Gai's Eternal Rival was good for one thing at least.

"Sensei," Sakura spoke up. "Didn't we already pass the genin test?"

"Ah, actually, all the jōnin sensei give their team one last test, to see if they have what it takes to be a shinobi of Konoha. If you pass, you become official Konoha genin. If you fail," he smiled cheerily at them. "It's back to the academy for another year!"

Aw, the expressions on their faces warmed his heart. This was the reason he didn't make more of a fuss when Sarutobi-sama forced him to take another team. And hey, he didn't even mind that he'd (practically) been ordered to actually pass this team. They promised much future amusement for him.

Kakashi watched the determination settle on three little faces and had to supress a smile. No, he did not mind at all.

Sasuke fought a snarl as he found himself buried up to the neck in dirt. The Hatake bastard just stood there, not even looking at him, reading his – if the dobe was correct – hentai. He had been so close! He knew that he'd felt his fingertip graze one of the bells. He tried, futilely, to wiggle his way up out of the ground, feeling completely humiliated as he did so. He was sure that he looked an absolute fool. If the dobe saw him like this!

Sasuke heard Sakura's distressed "Sasuke-kun!" at the exact moment the alarm clock went off. He growled under his breath. Great. Having one of his fangirls help him was even more humiliating. He'd rather have the dobe.

Kakashi smirked under his mask at the downtrodden genin hopefuls. Sasuke was sitting cross legged in front of the posts, determinedly not looking at anybody and ignoring the fact that he was covered in dirt. Naruto was sprawled on his back, jumpsuit gone (hanging out to dry in a nearby tree), surprisingly relaxed in his boxers and singlet. Sakura… Kakashi let his smirk widen. Sakura was tied to a post in between the boys, and not looking very happy about it either. "Looks like Sakura-chan isn't getting any lunch today!" He announced sunnily. "Does anybody know why that is?"

The three genin shook their heads.

"Because Sakura-chan was the furthest away from passing of course!"

Her face fell. Of course, he felt no pity for her, seeing as she fainted from a weak, genin-level genjutsu featuring an injured Sasuke. Rin, even when she'd been more obvious about her attraction to him, had always put being a kunoichi and a medic first. The usual pang of loss and grief and guilt assaulted his heart at the thought of Rin. Kind, sweet Rin.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto's voice broke his thoughts. "What about me and teme? How close were we?"

Sasuke's head shot up and he stared intently at the jōnin.

"Well, the both of you managed to touch one of the bells, but I'd say Naruto was the closest to passing."

The jinchūriki beamed up at him and the Uchiha glared. "Really, sensei?"

Kakashi smiled, his one eye slipping shut to block out the painful image of Minato-sensei and Kushina-nee superimposed over their son's face. "Really, Naruto-kun."

"WHOO! I'm awesome dattebayo!"

He gazed fondly at the exuberant Uzumaki. Kakashi hated to burst his bubble, but…

"You were the closest to passing, but none of you actually passed, Naruto-kun."

Naruto's face fell, and Kakashi almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"But!" Kakashi supressed a cackle at the hopeful puppy looks the genin were sending him. "Since two of you worked so hard to get the bells, I'm going to give you all another shot after lunch. Try to figure out why Naruto was the closest, and don't give Sakura-chan any food!" He eye-smiled at them and disappeared in a burst of chakra smoke. His dramatic exits were so much better than Gai's dynamic entries. When they were actual entries, that is. The taijutsu move was, admittedly, pretty cool.

Kakashi quickly perched himself in a nearby tree and cloaked his presence as well as he could. Probably overkill, but better safe than sorry.

He settled in to watch his genin, hoping against hope that they would understand the point of the exercise. Kakashi might have been ordered to pass this cell, but by Kami they were going to earn it!

Sakura shifted uncomfortably against the post she was tied to. It wasn't fair! Kakashi-sensei had used her eternal undying love for Sasuke-kun against her! Clearly the one-eyed jōnin was single, because he just didn't understand how traumatising it was to see the love of your life in such a state. How was she supposed to concentrate on passing a silly test when Sasuke-kun was hurt like that?

'True love will conquer all!' Inner Sakura declared. 'We're gonna figure out how Naruto-baka beat Sasuke-kun and then we'll get the bells and then Sasuke-kun will fall in love with us and we'll live happily ever after!'

"SHANNARO!" Sakura yelled, oblivious to the fact that she'd done so out loud, and was currently straining at the ropes binding her in her efforts to raise her fists triumphantly. In her state, Sakura also missed the wary looks her male teammates were sending her.

"So, er, Naruto," Sakura said, going back to her normal sweet self. "What exactly did you do when you attacked Kakashi-sensei? We need to find out what you did to get so close to passing."

Naruto frowned thoughtfully. "Well, I made a whole bunch of kage bunshin to distract him, and teamed up with more of my kage bunshin to grab the bells, but that pervert is really good! He took all of us out really easily!"

Sakura sighed. So much for that. "Naruto-baka, of course it was easy, bunshin are just illusions. No matter how many you made, they wouldn't be able to actually touch him anyway."

The blond scowled at her. "I'm not stupid! I do know what bunshin are, y'know. I can't make any of the fuckin' things. I said kage bunshin. They're solid!"

"I've never heard of solid clones that aren't elemental." Sasuke-kun said with a faint scowl.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Another Naruto popped into being and promptly brought its fist down on Sasuke's head before dispelling with a snicker.

"NARUTOOO!" Sakura roared in a rage. "Don't hit Sasuke-kun! Wait…" Sakura trailed off. "You hit Sasuke-kun!"

"Er, I think we got that, funnily enough." Naruto said sarcastically. Even Sasuke was looking at her with a raised brow (KYAAAHHH! SO CUUUUTE!).

"No, I mean you were right! Your bunshin are solid! Okay, so Naruto had solid clones to help him out… That's related to why he came the closest to passing, I'm sure of it!" Sakura sat tied to her post, muttering to herself, while the boys traded glances, clearly questioning the sanity of their female teammate.

"Y'mean 'cause I had other people to work with and you two had to do it on your own?" Naruto's question broke into Sakura's feverish muttering and her head shot up.

"That's it! You worked in a team! Naruto was the closest because he had teammates to help him, even if they were actually still him. Genin cells are always made up of three people plus their jōnin sensei. He's trying to see if we can work together – the number of bells don't matter! Either we all pass or we all fail." Sakura proudly beamed up at the two boys, who were looking pretty impressed. Well, Naruto did, but at least Sasuke-kun acknowledged her! Kyaaah! He would fall for her in no time!

"So we all need to work together to try and get the bells. Are you sure he's not going to send one of us back to the academy?" Naruto asked.

I'm sure." Sakura said confidently. "A-and if I'm wrong," oh Kami please don't be wrong. "Then you two can have the bells." She nearly screamed at the thought of giving up her place at Sasuke-kun's side to the blond prankster, but it would only be fair if it turned out she'd given them false information.

"Are you sure?" Naruto was watching her closely.

Sakura smiled as best she could. "Positive."

"Well alright then! If we're all gonna attack him together, you're gonna need all your strength!" And with that, Naruto cheerfully sliced the ropes holding her with a kunai, and handed her his bento.

"Wha-?" Sakura gaped at him. "But sensei told you not to give me any food! And aren't you hungry anyway?"

Right on cue Naruto's stomach growled.

Sasuke-kun sighed. "If I need you two to pass this test, I guess the dobe can have my lunch, and you can have his. You definitely need it more than we do."

Sakura gazed at Sasuke in awe. He was so smart and amazing.

"Aw, thanks teme, but I can go hungry much longer than you two can. I don't like it, but I can go without food for a while longer. Give your bento to Sakura, and you can have mine." The blond boy smiled.

Though her stomach was screaming at her not to do it, Sakura handed Naruto back his bento. "No, it's alright Naruto. You and Sasuke-kun are the heavy-hitters in this team anyway, you need the energy more than I do. Besides," she smiled weakly. "I'm on a diet."

Kakashi smiled to himself as he watched his students from his spot in the tree. They definitely caught on quicker than he expected. And it looked like he didn't even need to give them the bell-test again either. They were already trying to help each other to work as a team! Time for his own dynamic entry.

With a small burst of chakra and the accompanying smoke, Kakashi appeared in front of the three genin, receiving shocked, shifty looks.

"You three," he drew himself up to his full height and loomed over them, glaring with his one visible eye. "Pass!" He smiled cheerfully.

Kakashi savoured the incomprehension that covered the kids' faces. He really did love messing with people.

"What?!" Naruto was screaming. "How?! Why?!"

Sakura and Sasuke were also staring, prompting him to answer the blond's questions.

"Sakura-chan was right. The purpose of this exercise was to see if you three could work together as a team, and you proved that you have the potential when you all tried to look out for each other by sacrificing your own chance for lunch. In Konoha, teamwork is a very important aspect of shinobi life. Remember, those who abandon the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash." A lesson that he learned far too late, and at too great a price.

Still, seeing Naruto and Sakura nod determinedly and Sasuke thoughtfully, Kakashi couldn't dwell on bad memories. His little genin were just so cute!

AN: So how was that? I also have most of the second and third chapters of this fic written, so they will be updated at some point. Likely not on any kind of schedule.

- Kelly