Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor any recognisable characters. - Likely to be the only disclaimer in the entire story, so just apply it to every chapter.

AN: Be nice please? First Naruto fanfic, first multi-chapter fanfic :).

Being asked to accompany your boss to a meeting wasn't that unusual. When your boss was Uchiha Sasuke, however, it was like being asked to get fucking married. And then when the meeting wasn't even business, but personal, it was the goddamned apocalypse. But you didn't say no to an Uchiha, especially one that signed your pay check, so Suigetsu'd sucked up his feeling of doom and gone along to the meeting. And fucking hell was he glad that he did.

Suigetsu stared up at the walking wet dream that was, for reasons unknown, friends with his asshole of a boss.

"Dude, are you wearing contacts?" It slipped out of his mouth without his brain's permission, but that was alright, because he really, really, REALLY wanted to fuckin' know how someone could have eyes that bright. (That beautiful is what he really meant, but like fuck he'd admit that, even to himself).

Lips twisted up in a smile, while turning down into a pout at the same time. Suigetsu didn't even try to figure out how he'd managed that.

"Why do people always ask me that? I have my dad's eyes, goddammit!"

The petulant tone made Suigetsu smirk. "Fake tan?" He inquired with a raised eyebrow.

The blond man snorted. "Like hell."

"Natural blond?" Seriously, it was so fuckin' bright it almost glowed.

Large honey-glazed hands slid down a hard (praise the lord for tight tank tops) abdomen so that the thumbs were inside the waistband of his jeans and his hands hooked onto them. A golden eyebrow raised back at him. "You wanna check?"

Suigetsu whimpered and looked at his boss, who had been sitting with an amused smirk during the whole exchange. "Uchiha, I think I'm in love. Why the fuck haven't you introduced us sooner?"

Uchiha Sasuke, world's assholiest boss and youngest heir to Sharingan Tech stared at him from his place across the table in their café booth. "Haven't you skipped something from your little list?"

Suigetsu huffed – why couldn't he answer the stupid question? – and sat back to think. Sasuke's best friend (that he even had a friend had been a revelation to Suigetsu) had ticked all the boxes so far; gorgeous and funny. There wasn't much else he looked for in a person, whether they be friend or fuck-buddy, so long as they looked good and knew how to have a good time (so he was shallow enough to prefer hanging out with attractive people, didn't mean he was a bad person). If he wanted to fuck the other man, (who was actually totally his type), he'd ask one more EXTREMELY important question, but this was Uchiha Sasuke's best friend, 'his dobe' – in Sasuke's own words – and no matter how hot the guy may be, it wasn't worth losing his balls over.

Who was he kidding, it was totally worth the risk to his balls, and the Uchiha was encouraging him, so he couldn't say shit if anything did happen (please God, let something happen).

So Suigetsu turned back to the blond – had they exchanged names yet? – and leered. "Hypothetically, what would you say if I asked you how you felt about a little bit of… Teeth?" He said this with a suggestive grin that flashed his rather sharp mouthful. So he had a bit of a thing for biting, sue him. Rather than looking uncomfortable, the new lust of his life replied with a feral grin of his own, running his tongue along the bottom of his own abnormally sharp canines. "Hypothetically, I'd say, bring it on."

Suigetsu nearly drooled. "Now I KNOW I'm in love. Where have you been all my life?!"

Blondie laughed. "Sasuke's been hogging me for himself. Uzumaki Naruto, pleased to meet you."

Naruto… It suited him. Even if it did mean fishcake.

The Uchiha's eyes narrowed. "You only wish that was true, usuratonkachi. It's not like I've been hiding you."

"You fuckin' well have! Why have we never met before, I'd like to know." Suigetsu shot an accusing glare at the Uchiha Ice Prick before turning back to the blond god who was still standing next to the table.

"Name's Hōzuki Suigetsu, but you baby, can call me whatever, and whenever, you'd like." He extended a hand towards Naruto, who laughed again and shook it. Suigetsu almost panted at the warmth and softness of his skin, a contrast to the firm handshake and the callouses he could feel on the other's palm.

"I just know that I'm going to regret introducing the two of you," Sasuke muttered. "Why did I let you talk me into this?"

"Because, bastard, you really can't say no to me." Naruto smiled widely as he finally sat himself down next to his best friend.

Suigetsu stifled a laugh at the offended glare that Sasuke shot Naruto. It was probably meant to be menacing, but he thought the boss just looked annoyed. Of course, any kind of Uchiha glare was usually enough to reduce any normal person to a quivering mess, but Naruto ignored him and turned blithely to Suigetsu.

"So, I guess the bastard here already told you that this was my idea?"

He nodded. He'd actually wondered about that, because Sasuke's best friend asking to meet him meant that he knew Suigetsu existed, which also meant – assuming he wasn't some kind of weirdo stalker – that Sasuke had mentioned him. Which was a little weird, a little worrying, and also a little wrong. Suigetsu liked the guy well enough, even though he was an utter asshole (he really couldn't stress this point enough), but he really hadn't felt as though he'd done anything worthy of the almighty Uchiha mentioning in conversation. Besides doing his best to annoy him on a daily basis whilst not getting fired, but who cared about that.

"Heh heh, yeah, well, Sasuke was bitching, as usual, about Itachi and his employees-"

"I don't bitch, moron."

"Don't interrupt me Sasuke, and yes you do. Anyway," Naruto continued seamlessly after Sasuke's irate interruption. "He was bitching like usual, so I asked him if there was anyone at the company that he didn't absolutely despise, and there were only three. Besides Itachi, but he doesn't really count. And Sasuke refuses to admit that he doesn't really hate his brother that much, so yeah, only three. In the whole company."

Here Suigetsu interrupted, a massive shit-eating grin spreading across his face. "Only three? And I was one of them?"

At Naruto's nod, he grinned even wider. "Aren't I special? Gaining Uchiha-sama's approval."

"Tch. I said I don't despise you, that's hardly approval." Despite his words, Sasuke looked a little uncomfortable. Visually uncomfortable. As in, he wasn't glaring, or scowling, or just sitting there looking like a fucking rock.

It was beautiful (not like that! Fucking Uchiha was too pretty for his tastes). This blond man was clearly some kind of miracle sent by God to make sure the Uchiha remained human instead of turning into living stone. Maybe he'd teach him how to do it. Mmm… Private lessons with Naruto. He could feel a nosebleed coming on. And judging by the grimace that had just crossed Sasuke's face, he could read the perverted turn his thoughts had taken.

"Ne, Sasuke don't be mean. Look how sad you've made him." Naruto gestured at Suigetsu, who accordingly arranged his face in a pout.

Sasuke looked extremely unimpressed. Honestly, Suigetsu was a bit offended. His pouting face always worked on Mangetsu. Mostly. Occasionally.

"Anyway, Sasuke-kun here told me that one of his accetables was a bit of a fangirl-" Suigetsu smirked. He could just imagine his boss griping about that redheaded harpy away from work. "One was like a violent gentle giant, and the other one made him think of me! So of course I had to meet him." Naruto grinned at him.

"Do I live up to your expectations?" Suigetsu batted his eyelashes at the blond.

"We may have to spend a little more time together, just to be sure, y'know? But you've been doing okay so far." The mischievous look on Naruto's face was doing a lot of things to Suigetsu's body, none of them innocent. His words too, were sending all sorts of images firing through his brain, most of these not particularly innocent either.

"God above, is this what I'm going to have to put up with from now on?"

The Uchiha's irate words rudely burst Suigetsu's perverted bubble and brought him back to earth with a bump. Sasuke was scowling, while Naruto looked on with an amused expression. He didn't know what the Uchiha was complaining about himself, he was rather enjoying their little game. Then again, that moody asshole probably didn't enjoy anything aside from making his fangirls cry. What a dick.

How the hell had Uchiha Sasuke, iciest, moodiest, angriest, most anti-social person in the whole fucking world, become friends – BEST friends even – with this absolutely delicious incarnation of sunshine? Or maybe it was the other way around? The definition of sexy had decided to make friends with the definition of asshole and forced Sasuke to reciprocate. Still, the how and why escaped him. Sasuke didn't have friends. Much less an absolutely gorgeous piece of sin on legs for a best friend. Except apparently, he did. And was introducing him to his subordinate, the amazingly sexy – if he did say so himself – Suigetsu. Who Sasuke knew would take an interest, because the guy knew fuckin' everything (or maybe Suigetsu just didn't know the meaning of the world subtle). Sasuke had told his sex-on-legs best friend that he worked with somebody that reminded him of him, knowing that Naruto would want to meet this definition of awesome. Sasuke… Sasuke was matchmaking. Sasuke was matchmaking his best friend with his not-despised subordinate.

Suigetsu felt a rather… toothy, grin forming on his face, but he didn't care too much if he looked a little mental. His boss was deliberately setting him up with the most Perfect being Suigetsu'd ever met, and because he was an absolute perfectionist Uchiha, who only did shit when they though/knew it was going to work out the way they wanted it. Which meant that Sasuke actually thought he had a chance with Naruto.

'OH FUCK YEAH!' Suigetsu's grin turned salacious. 'I am in! Hah! Suck on that world, the Sex God will be mine!'

Hey. Hey, hey, hey. If Naruto was such a Sex God – and Suigetsu prided himself on knowing these things – he should be getting offers right and left. Why the hell was Sasuke setting him up with Suigetsu?

AN: Okay, so how was that? ConCrit would be good, on the content or my writing style or anything :). Like, I know I have a tendency towards run-on sentences. Um, I already have the majority of the second chapter and some of the third written up, so if anyone is interested in this story, it will be updated. Probably not on a regular schedule or anything, but it'll happen.

- Kelly